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1,511 Public Reviews Given
1,604 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look for a good hook at the beginning and like stories that "hit the ground running". Good plots with a theme, strong characters with an emotional impact, moving dialogue, sensory descriptions, clear communication and words with a purpose are strong points of a good story.
I'm good at...
knowing a good story when I read one. I like to read as much as I like to write, maybe more. I will let you know when a sentence just does not make sense to me, and I will try to give you my opinion on how to make it better.
Favorite Genres
biographical, family, drama, mystery, comedy, nature, young adult
Least Favorite Genres
sci-fi, erotica, fantasy, mythology
Favorite Item Types
short stories, essays, fiction & non-fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
novels
I will not review...
novels...sorry, no time
Public Reviews
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Review of Cheating Death  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good Morning Ellis,

I found your story by searching "memoir" and couldn't help but let you know how much I enjoyed reading it.

You showed this reader a man's emotions who hated to show them. You showed his personality, his integrity, his love for country, his love for family, and I got to know him through your words.

Thanks for sharing this...and please keep writing.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Coriandre,

I followed you home to take a look after I noticed you portfolio shading had changed.

You have done a wonderful job with this children's story, making it personal to your audience. Everything is clear and easy to understand. My only suggestion would be to somehow make each of your characters a little more distinct perhaps with description and using the 5 senses. This should appeal to your audience.

The message you are sending is commendable, working together everyone can succeed. Good for you.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning,

I found your article in this week's comedy newsletter. You have done a good job of summarizing the most common and annoying mistakes in writing. You explain things clearly and simply.

Thanks for taking the time to write this and please keep sharing.

Connie
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Review of Metamorphosis  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Great perspective in this, Doorman Dan. I love the inference of the color change...yes, life does get a little drab as we "grow up".

Your word choices, imagery, and rhythm all make this a delightful read. And, yes, time does tick on so appreciate each day.

Thanks for sharing this.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Morning evildawg,

I found your story in one of the newsletters this morning and decided to take a look. Oh, if only we could all go as Walter does *Smile*. Or, perhaps, we should beware of our mail?

I found your story interesting and well-written with just a couple of "overlooks" you may want to fix....

5th para....It appeared to (be) a small

2nd to last para....wondered if he (was) in the sphere (or) just his soul

I bumped over these "omits" but be assured they did not slow me down. Good story and please keep writing.

Connie
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231
Review of An Easter Miracle  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Casey,

Welcome to writing.com. I found your story on the "read a newbie" page, very appropriate with Easter coming up.

I never really thought about the Easter bunny being scary, but through your eyes, I can see how that might happen, especially to a two-year old. You do a great job of comparing the good and bad of the celebration, and I like the irony of it all. Sometimes it is strange the things parents think will be appealing to children.

Your story is well-written, easy to read, and brought back some personal memories. Thanks for sharing...and write some more *Smile*.

Connie
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232
Review of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Graham B,

Congratulations for winning third place with this story. I found you in the announcements. And after reading, it is very deserving *Smile*.

I like the way you rock back and forth between time. Sometimes I get confused by this, but not in this one. I also liked how you led me to believe Harper was to blame for the two deaths. I guess I enjoyed being tricked...or surprised.

Your writing style is an easy read and you held my interest to the very end. Congrats again, and keep on writing.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dan the Teacher,

I found you story on the hub page this morning, and the title drew me in. It's an interesting read, well-written, and thoughtful, about a thief's change of heart. A nagging conscious can be a good thing.

I liked the different scenarios the locket brought to Andrew's mind, and the way you had them explain things.

Thanks for sharing this .... and please, keep writing.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good Morning,

This is a really cute story. You had me smiling throughout. I am certainly glad I do not have neighbors quite as unusual as Michelle's, although I do have a couple strange ones *Laugh*.

You tell your story well and use some good metaphors that enhance the visual aspect. Walt is some strange character.

Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more.

Connie
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235
Review of Sum Days  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Brian,

I love this story and you tell it like a pro. I'm not a caregiver but I did take care of my husband for many years, and you brought back lots of memories.

Being of an age when this may be my near future, you made it look a little brighter with your twist at the end. After all, people just want to remain useful in some way. Yay, Phoebe.

Thanks for sharing this and I'll be nosing around in your port for more.

Connie
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Review of My First Concert  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lazy Writer,

I love the enthusiasm you put into this story. I can almost hear your breathlessness as you describe your excitement to see the Beatles. It's hard to believe when we are older how we could have acted so silly, but I'm with you, what great memories.

Thanks for sharing this big event in your life, and wouldn't it be nice to share this story with Priscilla? Maybe one day you'll find her again and relive the joy.

Please keep writing and sharing.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Morning,

Interesting piece and I am sure many people agree with you, including me, but then I am a vegetarian. Fast food does not cater to vegetarians *Laugh*. I cannot remember when I was last in a fast food joint.

But I think we all are guilty of wanting things "faster" so fast food probably is not going away any time soon...unfortunately. The dangers seem fuzzy and in the distant future, but they are real, just like repercussions of smoking.

The best we can do is voice our opinions, as you are doing, and hope someone listens. You make some good points. Thanks for sharing.

Connie
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Review of Heart and Soul  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good Morning,

Thanks for sharing this interesting story, a sort of flash fiction with a lot of interpretation left to the reader.

I especially like the mystery of how he came to be holding the ankle bracelet.

This is a good story, needing a little polishing for grammar and spelling (for example, you left the r out of heart in your title).

Welcome to writing.com, and please share some more of your stories.

Connie
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239
Review of Christmas Cactus  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Orange1,

Pleasant memories are such enjoyable reading, especially when they are well-written. I was happy to know that Aunt Sissy bloomed in your memories as well as in your plant, a Christmas cactus can be so beautiful.

Thanks for sharing this story and reminding me of my favorite, Aunt Dorothy. Good luck in the contest and please keep writing.

Connie
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240
Review of The Tree  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ruth,

I like your story about your cozy pine, the shelter it gave your character from life's problems. I have several pines in my backyard. They are the tall and straight ones, but I have seen the kind in your story with limbs hanging low. You successfully rounded out your characters with good dialogue and action scenes, and your ending was hopeful and uplifting.

Thanks for sharing this well-written story. Good luck in the contest.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello John Nation,

I thoroughly enjoyed this story about the relationship between a young boy and his grandma. Being 70 myself and having grandchildren of my own may have a little something to do with it. You say the story is biographical so I am assuming it is nonfictional, and I like it that much more for that very reason.

I read along, enjoying the close relationship, the things Grandma taught without being teachy (not sure that is a word). Of course, the ending put a lump in my throat. I love good emotional stories, and yours is one of them. Grandma would be proud.

Thanks for sharing....

Connie
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Review of Memoir of a Cat  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Ruth Draves,

Congratulations on your Cramp win. I found your story on their site, and since I am a cat person, I had to read it.

Your story is well-written from the cat's perspective and, of course, absolutely true *Smile*. My Mopsy confirmed it! She said the part about the vet brought back some scary memories for her, too.

Thanks for sharing this....and please keep writing.

Connie
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Review of Unforgettable  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good Morning,

Your short story came up on the review tab and the title pulled me in. This is a powerful, well-written story, cleverly beginning at the end. Bullying is a hot topic, one with strong emotions. Using the bully's viewpoint is a good tactic.

If you could put a little white space between your paragraphs, your story would read easier. I found myself losing my place once in awhile and this would help to eliminate that problem. It looks like you have done a very good job on proofing.

Thanks for sharing this...and I hope you will keep writing and sharing.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Good Morning ThetaHarkness Author Icon ,

Thanks for sharing this personal story. Yes, sometimes it does help to write it down. I have done it, too.

You don't need to apologize for the writing...it is well-done. We do seem to remember those very emotional times of our lives above all else. And we should. They are usually turning points and very important. You have done a wonderful job of writing how you felt, and if you are like I am, you need to re-read it sometimes...just to feel close, again, to the one you have lost.

I hope the writing helps you. Know that it helps your readers, too.

Connie
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245
Review of Call of the Void  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Ashling Erris Author Icon ,

This is a well-told emotionally powerful short story. You make a greater impact on the reader by using many short simple sentences, and you hold the reader's attention by the way you keep the thought process going at top speed.

I hope you got an A on this. You deserve it....and please share some more of your writing.

Connie
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246
Review of Summertime heat  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Good Morning,

This is a cute story about something many of us have wanted to try (and never done) *Smile*. You made it real. I could see each step as it happened, but you surprised me with the dog. Very clever.

Your story is well-written and well-told. Although I never looked for errors (I was too busy wondering what would happen), the read was too smooth to have any.

Thanks for sharing.

Connie
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Review of Fork it Over  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good Morning,

I thought you would say the cat did it! Thank goodness. Cats do not need to be blamed for anything else, especially at this time of year....*Laugh*.

You had me hooked from your very first sentence. We all love bargains so I cannot imagine who would stop reading. All through your story I kept trying to think who would be the culprit, and even though you did not find out, it all seemed okay.

Thanks for sharing this delightful, well-told experience....I think *Wink*.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning,

You've done a great job with the prompt and written a cute children's story. Although predictable, I think children would find it delightful. I could even imagine the pictures as I read through.

The story offers a good moral lesson without spelling it out and it's easy for a child to understand. I hope you decide to submit somewhere in that genre....and good luck with the contest.

Thanks for sharing.

Connie
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Review of The Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Stargazer,

Very nice. That took me back some! Non-rhyming poetry is very difficult to write and get the flow correct, but you have done a magnificent job with this one. First, I read it to myself, then I read it aloud, all without one stumble. And my mind saw the picture before I got to the bottom.

Great job. Thanks for sharing this.

Connie
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Review by Ah, September! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello,

I clicked on this from the Drama Newsletter, and what a gripping little story...drama is right. You took me from sorrow to happiness to anger in just a few words!

I shall have to search out the other stories you mention at the end...maybe I could learn a few things *Smile*.

Please keep writing and sharing.

Connie
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