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401
401
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Ron!
I’m reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window. Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you do on this site!
I don't normally read poetry except for free verse and limericks, but seeing this was about aging, I figured I'd better check it out. And I'm glad I did! I may only be 54, but I've been thinking a lot about my own mortality lately for some reason.
I love the ocean, so to see how you compared aging to the rolling waves and the sea gulls and the wind and all those other things associated with it was great. What's more (and I'm not sure you noticed this or I overlooked it) is that the ocean is forever moving, and the tides will all be coming in and going out. At least until the earth is gone, anyway. That's another way of comparing life to the ocean.
But what made this shine was the positive spin you put on it at the end: We might not be here physically after we die, but we will become one with the earth and the ocean and the sky!
Well done, my friend.
Kee ponw ritin gon, and have a really far out day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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402
402
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, R.Engels!
For a short FF piece, this isn't bad. I like the idea of Linda sneaking into Ms. Grater's garden and exploring that shed, only to find out Ms. Grater might not be just an innocent neighbor. *Smirk2*
I just wish you had more words to use so you could have had a little better (and longer) ending.
On a side note, I used to enter this contest a lot, so here's a little hint: I know for a fact that the owner and judge, Arakun the twisted raccoon is big fan of twisted/surprise endings, so you might want to keep that in mind if you enter this contest again.
Great spelling and grammar, the descriptions were excellent.
'goose-bumpy' *Laugh*
'a small, broken-down shed was barely holding on to its frame' (nice line!)
On a side note, I read your port intro and bio, and I see that you've got a lot of writing experience. Good luck with your manuscripts! I'll try to check out some of your other stories if I get a chance, but for now...
Kee ponw ritin gon, R.Engels, and welcome to WdC! Since you like to write, I know you're going to love it here!
PS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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403
403
Review of Homecoming  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, Kevin!
This is kind of short, but it's still pretty good. And a bit sentimental and nostalgic, only in a bad way.
I don't know if this is based or loosely based on a true story, but I don't doubt that it could be. The events of 9/11 very well could be a reason for somebody not wanting to fly on that day, with or without that bud luck reference to that airport.
But it was nice to see that your son (or you character's son) isn't going to live his life being tied down because of superstitions.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a marvelous day!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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404
404
Review of Bad Luck  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aloha again, Beholden!
You’re quite the raconteur, I’ll tell you that! I don’t know what the prompt was for this contest, but I love the way you told it!
You’ve got a great imagination, and to have these trolls stumble across this battlefield and pilfer the war items off of the dead was a great idea. I also enjoyed how you portrayed Rugpin as a not-smarter-than-your-average troll, and the names you used were perfect. Snotleg? *Laugh*
Once again the spelling and grammar was flawless, and the whole piece flowed smoothly.
But it was that simple, sudden, and ironic ending that really made this shine. Just a shame Rugpin had to be so damn adamant about wanting that flag, as well as Gozni’s willingness to let him take it.
Should have listened to Snotleg…“Bad luck I tells you," *Laugh*
A comment and suggestion:
“You promotin’ me?” *Laugh*
‘So the band of trolls formed into (a?) column and marched away’
Kee ponw ritin gon, Beholden! ‘Twas a pleasure to read, and have a most wonderful day/evening!
PS-Speaking of trolls, I have a 300 word piece that might put a smile on your face: "The Bridge" Open in new Window.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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405
405
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Blackbird!
For your first piece on here, I thought this was pretty good! It's a little bumpy in that we're not sure how she could have killed her beloved prince since she was foam--I think you could give a little more detail about that--but I like the premise of it.
Also, you kind of jumped right into this with her suddenly falling off the ship. Maybe some back story would help.
Overall, I think you've got something here. You just need to smooth it out and go into a little more detail with it, and perhaps expand on it.
It's obvious you like to write (I read your port intro), and I can tell you're anxious and excited to start filling up your portfolio! There's no time like the present, and I'd like to see some of your stories!
As for your English, it's actually pretty good.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Blackbird (that's my way of saying 'Keep on writing on' by the way *Bigsmile*), and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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406
406
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi there, Seabreeze, and happy early 8th 'birthday' on here!
I can totally relate to you on this subject, and I couldn't agree more!
I used to drive a lot, but for reasons I won't go into here, I haven't been behind the wheel in almost 20 years! It's not that I can't drive, but I really don't need to anymore. And not because of my age either (I'm only 54!).
But yes, there are so many people out there who shouldn't be driving, and to be honest, as a pedestrian living in a large city right now, I'm literally scared to death! Even just to cross a street in a crosswalk is taking my life in my hands! Some of those idiots have no clue and aren't paying attention, or they have no regards and respect for anybody on or near a street!
Aaaarrgghh! *Angry*
Well said, my friend!
One tiny niggle:
'I don't particularly what to end up as road kill' (want)
I have a special piece about texting and driving at the top of portfolio which I promised I wouldn't move until all 50 states outlawed texting and driving completely. Sadly, that piece is still at the top of my portfolio. It's not too long if you'd like to check it out: "Texting And Driving." Open in new Window.
And I just noticed that I wrote it only a few days before you wrote this! Way back in 2012! *Shock2* What are the odds?
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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407
407
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi there, Itchybarn, and happy 1st anniversary on here!
I like this, even though it's kind of negative, and by that I mean depressing. Not a lot though, because I think you were doing this 'tongue in cheek' to work with the title.
Most teachers assign that essay 'What I DID Do Last Summer', so this is a nice little twist. You apparently didn't get to accomplish all those things you wanted to, but I'm sure you still managed to do a lot of more realistic things, right?
But if it makes you feel any better, I didn't win one billion dollars either! *Sad* Oh, well. There's always tomorrow, right!
The spelling and grammar were perfect, and I thank you for sharing this with us!
Keep on writing on, Itchybarn, have a fantastic day, and keep taking care of your parents and sister! *Bigsmile*

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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408
408
Review of The Game  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Write4purpose!
This isn't too bad for one of your first pieces on here. I think it would look better if you formatted a little better though, but that's not really relevant.
I like how you segued so smoothly from scene to the next, and I realize this is just the beginning of something longer, but I'm interested to find out just how real this Amy character really is, if she's real at all, or if/and Ann is actually controlling her. Is Amy trapped in some virtual gaming world, kind of like the movie Tron?
Interesting...
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles:
'This was a 20 (gauge?) shotgun.'
'Ann bit her lip as her thumbed her controller...' (she)
Also, you might want to put this in a larger font to make it easier to read.
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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409
409
Review of Mixed  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Gail S!
This is neat. I'm guessing this is based on a true story (it sure seems plausible), and to have that little/big girl approach you with that question would be likely, considering the diversity of the classroom.
But the cool thing is you came up with the correct answer, even though it might have been off the top of your head.
My uncle did a family tree for us a few years ago and even sent some pictures of my great-great uncle and aunt who came over here from Holland in the 1800s. I hate to say this, but they were NOT the best looking folks I've seen!
Anyway, I'm glad the girl accepted your 'answer' and you were able to 'fit in'!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a marvelous evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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410
410
Review of My Nightmare  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Pernell!
Went poking around in your port and found this, and glad I did!
This is another of your cool little FF pieces, and I like how flipped the scenario around. Some folks have real things that happen to them and THEN have nightmares about it, but here you've done just the opposite.
The idea of seeing a grizzly bear staring at you in your kitchen window would scare the bejeesus out of anybody! (I only wish you had more words to use for this story. Perhaps you could expand on it sometime.)
My father told me of time when he was up in Alaska and he was camping with his buddy. They were in a tent and in the middle of the night he saw a huge shadow rise up over the tent (from the light of the fire). He immediately knew what it was, but fortunately he had his rifle right beside him for such an emergency. He jumped out of his sleeping bag and chased it away, shooting his gun into the air!
His buddy got a good laugh out of it though, seeing my dad running after that bear in only his underwear firing his gun into the sky!
Anyway, well done, my friend! Great use of prompt words, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles:
'a sleep' should be 'asleep'
'The figure lunged and me. (at)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Pernell, and have a wonderful day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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411
411
Review of FIRE! FIRE!  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Dr. Smith!
Saw this on the Comedy Newsletter (but I'm pretty sure you already knew it was there, huh?), and I had to check it out!
This is pretty good. I like the way you told it, and although we'll never truly know how the great Chicago fire began, this is does further the possibility of the O'Leary's cow being involved! *Laugh*
Just a shame Captain O'Leary was so wrapped up in getting his neighbor/fugitive downtown instead of putting that damn fire out!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastical day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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412
412
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Nordic Noir!
This is purty durn good! I don't read as much sci/fi as I used to, but I like the idea of this asteroid hitting earth and the escape wormhole, as well as the reasoning you gave for not letting the public know of this impending disaster.
But what stood out and made this shine was your confession to your embarrassment, sadness, and ultimate 'cowardly existence' for going through the wormhole alone just to save yourself, instead of staying behind and 'going down with the ship', so to speak. Kind of reminds me of those cowardly men on the Titanic who jumped in the lifeboats while brave womenfolk stayed behind with their husbands. I think I even remember a documentary where one wife said, "No, my husband. We've spent our whole lives together, and we shall die together." Or some such thing, anyway, but you get my drift.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Great use of the prompt phrase, and the spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!).

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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413
413
Review of Proof of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Normajean!
As a believer that we are not alone in the Universe, I thought this was pretty good. George seemed awfully defensive for blowing up that planet (or whatever it was), whether he did it on purpose or not, and I'm just glad I wasn't in his shoes.
I guess that was the Tadpole Galaxay's way of saying 'hello'! *Laugh*
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a fantastic day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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414
414
Review of College Chat Room  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi there, Victor!
This is a really unique piece, and I don't think I've seen this style entered in 'SCREAMS!!!' before. At first glance I thought it was a screen play! *FacePalm*
I like this bizarre chat room murder scenario where Courtney being threatened and scared to death, and their cyber conversation was quite engaging. At least from somebody who was on the outside and not partaking in it! *Laugh*
You had some pretty graphic images in it with Alexis being gutted like a fish, and you certainly got a 10 on the creep factor! One thing I noticed though is at that the beginning you refer to Courtney as a guy, and then while he waits for a reply from his first message you refer to him as a 'she'.
Also, I'm not too sure how Courtney's death scene would play out in a chat room. In other words, surely Courtney wouldn't have been typing out her final words such as 'Heeeeelp Meeee' and 'Noooo please don't do this to me', right?
Otherwise, nice job!
My favorite part was where Paul answered the 911 call:
'911, my name is Paul how can I kill you.' *Shock2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Victor! It was a pleasure to read, have a great day, and I hope to see more of your entries in "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window. in the future!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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415
415
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Phil Thomas!
For being new to writing (as you say), I thought this was pretty good. You've certainly made a lot of people think twice about travelling, especially to a foreign country! *Laugh*
This almost sounds like a satirical movie, where if something can wrong, everything goes wrong! Heck, I have a hard enough just living in my own hometown! I wouldn't even want to think about what would happen if I went overseas! *Laugh*
Comments and suggestions:
'at 7am(.) Before boarding' (New sentence)
'Calm, breath(e), think' (breath is noun, breathe is a verb, which is what I think you were going for here, right?)
Otherwise, good job, and thanks for the laughs, although I guess this wouldn't be so funny if it really happened to you!
My only other suggestion would be to possible enlarge the font to make it easier to read.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Phil, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.
PSS-You're only a few months older than I am, and my hometown is up north in Weed, CA. I'm currently in TX (please don't ask me why *Sad*), but I'm coming home next year (Thank God!)

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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416
416
Review of You Win!  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aloha, Normajean!
A story about a Jeep not being able to get around a few little rocks? As a former Jeep owner, I take offense at that! Jeeps don't get stuck! Or at least when they do, they REALLY get stuck!
Sorry, I digress.
This is pretty good, and I like the unique take you took on the prompt phrase. Most of the other stories for this prompt dealt with crooks or bad guys being chased by the authorities, but you went in a whole different direction! And not only did you win the scavenger hunt, but you also won the contest! *Laugh*
Congratulations!
Flawless spelling and grammar (as I've come to expect from you *Bigsmile*), and the dialogue was natural and realistic!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend!
PS-Kind of ironic that you titled this 'You Win' and You Won, eh?
PSS-I do have one suggestion: perhaps you could make the font in your stories a little bigger to make them easier to read? Maybe at least 3.5 or better yet, 4? Not all of us have 20/20 eyesight anymore, including myself, sadly.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
417
417
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Andrea!
This isn’t bad for one of your first pieces on here. And strangely enough I can relate to it.
I like the idea of the daughter resurrecting her mother’s manuscript and writing it for her after her passing. They say that’s there’s a book in all of us, but rarely does a person write it. And usually it’s for the very reason you mentioned here; that they just don’t know how to get it on paper.
I think that’s sad, because in this day and age we have a lot of ‘ghostwriters’, people who are willing to write their story for them! In fact, I’m sure there’s some right here on WdC who might do it if you asked!
OK. There’s a few misspellings and grammar niggles with this, but I think it’s the gist of the piece that really counts. Who knows? Maybe if you went back over this and expanded on it (with a ghostwriter if so needed), you could write a book about book that just needed somebody to write it. That’s a pretty unique concept, and those aren’t easy to come by these days!
Keep on writing on, Andrea, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (or if you have a story to tell, which I think you do!), then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

PS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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418
418
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Bon jour, Andrea!
This isn't bad for one of your first pieces on here, and you really do make some very good points about mythical creatures. There are literally millions of people who believe in Bigfoot or some creature close to it, and plenty of people believe in the Loch Ness Monster. Your point about just because nobody has yet to prove they exist is a valid one. There are currently still creatures being discovered to this day that were considered extinct years ago (especially in the oceans since they're the one location we know so little about cuz it's never been explored!), so who's to say that Bigfoot and Nessie doesn't exist!
This is a little short, and there's a few small grammar and spelling niggles in this, but I think if you went back over this you'd see them. And it's really the main subject that counts anyway, right?
One last thing: if you're really interested in things like this, I'd suggest you do some research so you can back up this piece and even expand on it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Andrea, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Entropy  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Greetings, C.L. Thomas, and happy 9th 'birthday' on here!
For a short creative writing piece, you did a nice job with all those vivid descriptions. The reader can just picture Terry sitting there in her car and trying to relax after a long shift at the hospital, and having her 'trance' of relaxation interrupted by the vision of what was about to come was a nice touch.
One thing I think this could have used, even though you might have been limited by a word count and/or Terry's location and the setting, was using all 5 of the sense to make this really come alive. I'm not being hypocritical here—it's something I need to do in a lot of my own writing!
Anyway, nice job, C.L.!
Kee ponw ritin gon, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
PS-I noticed this doesn't have any reviews. I'm sure you probably know this, but if you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of It's Classified  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Howdy, Norma Jean!
This is a cool little story, but it’s also a sad commentary on how far we’ve come and how far we’ve gone with technology these days.
I love how you used the prompt phrase, and the ending couldn’t have been any better. Reminded me of an old Twilight Zone episode!
But getting back to what I was saying about technology. It seems everywhere we look these days we see robots doing the jobs we humans used to do. That’s had a major effect on unemployment, but sadly, robots are only as perfect as their creators, and we’re not perfect! We’re at the point now where one single person could blow up the world with a simple push of a button, and that scares the bejeesus out of me!
Anyway, I did enjoy your story! Normally I can see those kind of endings coming, but I missed it this time!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Norma! Have a great evening, and good luck in the contest!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Gorilla Dollars  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Aloha, Normajean!
I like this. It reads like a nice little children's story (which I'm sure you meant for it to be), and I love the way brought up those 'gorilla' terms ('a deep low gorilla-like voice', 'gorilla money', 'gorilla moment')! That's what really made it stand out, and it even has a sweet ending.
You still had a few words to use, but I wouldn't change a thing! I think it turned out perfect!
Bravo! The spelling and grammar were flawless, and you did a great job with the prompt words. I'm a little surprised this didn't win the contest.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a wonderful evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Ladybug Beach  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, Itchybarn!
For having written some thing like this for as young as your were (age 5?), I'm really impressed. You've got a good start in writing, as well as keen talent for poetry. The words rhymed well, and the meter (the syllable count) was excellent!
And you even ended it with some comedy! At least I hope it was comedy! Ladybugs in your hair probably wouldn't be too cool.
Keep on writing on, Itchybarn! You've got some of the neatest parents and family in the world, and I look forward to reading more of your items on here!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Howdy, Abby Olson!
As a lover/reader/writer, and judge of horror, I thought this was pretty good! The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), you did a nice job with the prompt phrase, and you kept the action moving all the way through it.
It didn't quite end the way I though it would though; in other words, that's the way most stories like this end.
But I know you had very limited word count, so I can't really fault you for that.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Abby, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-It's good to see somebody your age 'dipping their toes into the writing pool!' You obviously have talent, so I encourage you to keep at it! *Bigsmile*
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

PSSS-You might already know this, but if you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi, Sonali!
This is one of those stories that once you start reading it, you just have to keep reading until the end! I don't know if it's the mild (and a bit warped--by the way, I think that should be 'giver-upper'! *Laugh*) humor you've dropped in it, slipping in those paragraphs of poetry, or what, but I just had to find out how this King was going to get his doughnuts cooked!
But alas, after having spent all that time reading this and having to endure some very bad jokes and silly rhymes, we come to the end where we find the king and queen's efforts were all for naught! *Sad*
And why was this story written? For we know not what!
OK. Enough of that. Seriously, I really did enjoy this, Sonali! I've written and read a lot of nonsensical pieces in my day, and no matter how bad they might be, they always seem to put a smile on my face.
And this one certainly did that! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a really groovy day!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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Review of Tea Shrine  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Bon jour, Normajean!
This is neat! I like how your mind works to come up with something like a glass floor with an aquarium underneath it! I wonder if something like this actually exists? I know there's a catwalk kind of floor on some sky skyscraper that runs from one fire escape to the next that's made of glass, and another on a mountain side, maybe?
Anyway, I guess all those lost souls should have listened to that old lady with the cane! Oh well, at least they're names will be immortalized in that now 'permanent' shrine!
I wonder if there were sharks in that aquarium...*Smirk2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! Thanks for sharing this, have a wonderful night, and good luck in the contest!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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