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13,132 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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476
Review of Wishes  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Guten tag, Zehzeh!
This is cool for a flash fiction piece, and I like how you snuck those prompt words in there.
This a nice take on the old love triangle story where two of the corners don't know there's a third corner waiting to get rid of one of the other corners.
Does that make sense?
Regardless, I like how you wrote this in the first person (makes it more personal), and using poison was a good way to try pull off this dastardly deed. Just a shame that damn fly had to 'get into the ointment' and screw things up for you!
Now I guess there's just ONE corner of that triangle left...
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles:
'with long chemical names(,) so I used cut and paste to find them on Google'
'a another gallery'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Zehzeh! Good luck in the contest, and have a great day!
PS-I'll try to review your "SCREAMS!!!"  story before the day's out!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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477
477
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Konnichiwa, Prosperous Snow!
Found this on a Read & Review, and glad I did!
This a neat little piece about your hypothetical family disjunction between two real historical families that actually did have a big fight, and I can certainly understand your position of being caught in the middle. I don't blame you for changing your name and moving so far away! Those families are nuts! *Crazy*
What's odd about this story is that there really was a secret relationship going on between one of the Hatfields and McCoys, and I'm pretty sure that said relationship produced such a child as yourself.
OK. Your fictional self, Ms. Lora Hatfield-McCoy. *Laugh*
But you get my point.
Not sure how this did in the contest, but it looks like a winner to me!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, have a great weekend, and hang low out there in Truth or Consequences! *Laugh*

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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478
478
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Buenos dias, Vivacious, and happy 14th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
I'm guessing this is based on a real dream of yours, and if so, I'm impressed. Not just because of the dream itself, but because you remember so much of it, if not all of it, and in such detail! Normally we don't remember much of our dreams.
Strangely enough, I've read that even the most nonsensical dreams can actually have meaning, but of course there's no proof, and there probably never will be. But I do believe that some dreams can be prophetic, especially if it's a major event. I once dreamed that I rolled my father's Trans Am and it landed on its wheels after one roll. A month later my best friend had the same dream, and it was so strong that he even cut school the next day to try warn me about it when I saw I wasn't in attendance.
Well, guess what? I had also cut school, and after getting into a big argument with my father, I accidentally rolled his Trans Am--and it only rolled one time and landed on its wheels!
Coincidence? Who knows? But I do believe they can be prophetic. A lot of people claimed to have a dreamt about 911 before it happened, but they just didn't know all the details.
As for asking a dream interpreter about your own dream, I don't see what it could hurt. I'd say go for it! I know this happened a long time ago, but if you don't want to ask about this dream, perhaps you could inquire about any strange ones you've had recently.
Anyway, that's my take on it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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479
479
Review of Bitter Brews  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Bon jour, Normajean!
I’m reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army"  Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you do on this site!
I love mysterious (and somewhat foreboding) stories like this, and you did a great job coming up with this unique idea!
Meg and Penny disappearing after drinking those strange 'bitter brews' was a cool concept, and I love that ambiguous ending. You could have worked another 58 words into it, but I like it just the way it is. You stopped it right where it should have stopped!
Where did Meg and Penny go after the shop was closed? And why didn't the barista see them when he was closing the shop? 'Only the shadow knows...' *Smirk2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! This might not have won the contest, but it was a winner in my eyes!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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480
Review of WHO DONE IT?  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ahoy, Catdok!
As a smoker currently trying to quit, I can totally relate to it. It hits home for me, and makes me want to quit all that much more. And I just noticed that I'm only a year older than this victim! *Shock2*
Smoking is the silent killer, and this piece just makes that point all that more relevant! Thank you!
OK, as for the REAL review, you did a great job with the dialogue, as well as the prompt phrase, and other than one tiny niggle, the spelling and grammar was perfect.
"...though maybe not at home in their cars.(”) Why’s the D.A. interested?”
I also like how the Doc went over all those other possibilities to narrow down the cause of death to smoking.
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this (Really! THANK YOU!), and have a great weekend!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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481
481
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Madam MoonRei!
This is pretty good for one of your first pieces on here, and I thank you for opening up about yourself. Not only are you letting us know about your tragedy, but you've also giving us advice on how not to lose ourselves! And sadly, that happens all too often in this day and age.
People get so involved with letting other people 'use' us, or we simply allow ourselves to be 'used', that we lose focus on who WE are! Heck, we even FORGET who we are! I've never had it happen to me personally (although I've come close!), but I have seen it happen to some of my friends.
Very well said, MoonRei. I'm just sorry that that physical tragedy had to happen to open your eyes, although you see it as an excellent tragedy.
Yeah, I can see that. That makes sense.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and it helps keep you 'grounded' *Bigsmile*), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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482
482
Review of Dream Stuff  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Guten tag, Normajean!
I'm reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army"  Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you do on this site!
This is neat! It's a dream inside a dream about dreams...I think. Anyway, I know what it was about, and you did a great job of telling it!
The idea of these little creatures taking out all of your dreams and organizing them into piles was really original, and then having them going against the Big Boss's orders and leaving the bad dreams out was a nice touch.
And then to wake up and remember only a part of it, only to have that go 'poof!' (as so many of our dreams do!) was an excellent way to end it!
Well done, my friend!
One tiny niggle (I think--I do a lot of thinking! *Laugh*):
'Then there is a whole other other pile...' (are you sure you want that extra one in there?)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic evening/tomorrow!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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483
483
Review of Mountains  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Chloe M!
This is pretty good for your first piece on here, and it tells a lot about you as a person and how strong you are when it comes to obstacles in your life, in this case a relationship gone sour.
What I really like is your analogy of this obstacle to climbing a mountain. Granted that isn't necessarily unique, but in this particular case it's very appropriate.
I also like that you managed to get over the top of 'the mountain' and see the other side! Who knew what awaited you there? You got there and managed to make the best of a bad situation by rekindling your relationship with your Mum and sis, as well as going to back to school and making your dreams come true!
Well done, my friend!
Great spelling and grammar (although I'm not too sure about using numbers instead of just spelling them out, at least in some instances), but I did spot one tiny comma niggle:
'...when he kicked me out(,) claiming not long after...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Chloe M, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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484
484
Review of "I Don't Read"  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, Voxxylady!
I'm reviewing this as an "The WDC Angel Army"  Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you've done on this site! You rock!
This is an excellent article about people who claim to be writers but don't read, and I couldn't have said it any better!
You've made some great points here, especially that third one. Anybody who says they're an author but doesn't read doesn't even know what it means to be a writer, let alone what a writer really is!
The first time I saw that statement was here on WdC, and needless to say they weren't lying. Their story was full of speech tag mistakes (putting periods outside of quotation marks, using periods when they should have used a comma, as in "...I tried." he said...' or capitalizing the pronoun of the speaker: "...I tried," He said...'
Speech tags are one of the main things I find myself correcting on these 'authors', and yet when I tell them what they're doing wrong, I'll read their very next story and they'll be doing the same dang thing!
I've even gone so far as to provide a short article about speech tags from the internet to help them along:

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

But I don't think they even look at it!
Aaaarrrrgghh!
And like you, I won't waste my time reading them either!
Misspellings are one thing, although I don't see why they just can't look up something in the dictionary if they're not sure of a word.
And getting ideas and being influenced from other people? Some of my best stories (in my own humble opinion, of course! *Bigsmile*) have been inspired by a lot of great authors, and even some not-so-great authors!
Anyway, I can't thank you enough for sharing this! I only wish other new and upcoming writers would read this and think twice before they start trying to write their 'masterpieces'!
By the way, I just did my 12,000th review on this site today! This one is my 12,001st! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Voxxylady! 'Twas a pleasure to read, thanks for letting me vent, and have a fantastic day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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485
485
Review of The Chance  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Bon jour, W.W. Weaver!
This isn't bad for a FF piece. I like the idea of this paranoid researcher not trusting his colleagues, and under those circumstances, I could probably understand Henry's reason for it. Especially with Beck, Calvin, and Jan all coming at him like that!
Good spelling and telling, but I did spot a few niggles:
"Don't fight us(,) Henry!" (there's a few other missing commas in this, but I think if you ever decided to go back over it you'd spot where-and I know this was written for The Daily FF Challenge years ago!)
'Henry raised the ___ to the rest.' (missing word? knife?)
Kee ponw ritin gon, W.W.! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a great day!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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486
486
Review of I'VE BEEN AWAY  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hello there, Marti, and happy 17th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
I'm no expert on poetry, but I really enjoyed this one (mainly because of the subject and I could understand it! *Laugh*)
The rhyming and the meter seemed fine, but like I said, it was the subject matter that was most interesting. As writers, whether we're poets or novelists or any kind of 'scribbler', none of us will ever produce great pieces all the time! And we're all going to suffer writer's block sometimes too. But a true writer will write about something, anything, or nothing* just because they NEED to write--it's in our blood, which is what I think you're talking about here. We write even if nobody will ever read our words, because for us it's a catharsis of sorts. It makes us feel good, which, when it comes right down to it, isn't that what most things in life should be about?
And as far as nobody cares, I have to disagree! I very much enjoyed reading this, and I certainly DO care!
And please don't forget that!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Marti! Thank you for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
*the very first piece I had published was a very short free verse poem titled "Nothing" , and it's exactly about that! Seriously! I wrote it one night during a blackout when I couldn't think of anything else to write about!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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487
487
Review of Black Bag Mystery  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Normajean!
I'm a big fan of horror, so this was kind of a treat for me.
You did a great job with the prompt phrase, the spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and the dialogue was excellent, as was the plot: the idea that Billy would bring something so 'gross' and unknown into his mother's house, only to have to leave it outside where the neighbor's dogs were, was a good concept.
But it was that mysterious ending that really made this shine!
Just why weren't the neighbor's dogs barking? And why was the bag emply?
Hmmm... *Shock2*
Well done, my friend!
I know this didn't win The Daily FF Challenge, but if I would've been judging, it would have!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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488
488
Review of Silent Witness  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hello there, Falguni, and happy 14th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!
I’ve seen a lot of personification pieces, but I think this is the first one I’ve seen about a mirror.
I don’t know if you’ve seen these annual ‘Dear Me’ letters we’re invited to write on here so we can look back on the previous year and make resolutions to ourselves for the coming year, but this would be a perfect (and very unique) way to write one for it.
I like how the mirror refers to the young girl as ‘her mistress’, and having it watch her grow up and see her negative things and positive things in life was great! I can see the mirror’s sorrow since it can’t speak to the girl to help her, and that part about her over-protective mother who rarely lets her go into the outside word but ‘once in a blue moon’ was especially touching!
VERY well done, my friend!
Comments and suggestions:
‘Talking with a mirror might symbolize a mental disorder’ (*Laugh* If that were really the case, then I think we’d all be in rubber rooms! Everybody has talked into their mirror at least once in their life!)
“Mirror, can you tell me what to do now?” She asks. (she)
By the way, congratulations on receiving that ribbon! It's very deserving of it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Falguni! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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489
Review of Ice  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hi there, Hullabaloo22!
This is good, and a little strange and scary too.
I like how you described where Brynn and Irene are at the beginning; that sets the scene perfectly for what's to come next. I also like the dialogue. The reader can easily see Irene's concern about what might be under the ice, but I'm not too sure about the ending. I realize that glove might just be somebody's that they lost, but it could also have come off of somebody who fell into the river. After all, you did infer that there was 'no hand inside'.
So I'm not too sure if Brynn's reaction was correct. Or maybe I'm letting my own imagination run away with me!
But I'm sure you see my point, right?
Anyway, well done! Nice job using the prompt words, the spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and the whole piece read smoothly!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Good luck in the contest, and have a great day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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490
490
Review of The Thing  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Sarah!
I’m a big fan of twisted/surprise endings, and you did a pretty good job with this.
First off, I like how you built up the suspense with not knowing what exactly this giant thing was. Nervously touching one of its ‘red flakes’ and poking it with a stick helps the reader to feel your trepidation, as well as your curiosity. I don’t know how you got the courage to climb up that tree and jump onto/into this thing, but at least you weren’t consumed inside the ‘thing-stomach’! *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Sarah, wherever you are, and I hope to see you back here soon!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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Review of Losses Shared  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Ahoy, Paul!
I like this little conversation between these two elder widowers. It's a sad fact of life that one of the partners in a marriage is going to die before the other, and even sadder when they've spent so much time together. In some instances, more than 70 to 80% of their lives!
Ian and David seemed to share a common bond on top of being widowers as they discuss trying to adjust to the single life, and that comment about finding the hair dryer in a box labeled Kotex was golden! Definitely a Go figure moment! *Laugh*
Senility? It's a scary thought, and sadly I'll be facing that sooner than I want to!
Oh well. Cae sera, sera...
Great job with the prompt words, the conversation flowed naturally, and the spelling and grammar was flawless!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Paul! It's always a pleasure to read your FF pieces!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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Review of Horror Movie  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Devon!
As a lover/reader/writer and judge of horror on this site ("SCREAMS!!!" ), it’s not often that I see a story on here that piques my interest right from the get-go, but for some the reason this one did.
First off, you did a great job of telling this short tale of terror, and the idea of these wolves jumping out of a movie screen and attacking the audience was really unique. What’s more is you added the 3D glasses, which was the perfect addition to make the story (and the wolves) more realistic/believable/whatever. The invisibility things was also a nice touch, even though it might have downplayed the believability factor a tad.
Some people could have ended the story right there with the bloody massacre (myself included, sadly *Sad*), but you let your characters escape and gave a reason for the attack: these virtual creatures having to be fed every month was not just clever and imaginative, but also ingenious!
BRAVO!
To put it bluntly, I’m jealous! I wish I could have come up with this idea!
But here’s my question: why you didn’t finish this?!? You can’t just leave it like this! To paraphrase Mutt, you’re going to have to think of something! This is an excellent hook for a much longer piece, and I’d love to see where you go with it.
Please don’t leave me hanging!
The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), and the whole piece read smoothly. My only suggestion would be to double space the paragraphs to make it easier to read.
A couple of comments:
‘I can see Mutt and Luther trying to haul the invisible wolf off of me, and eventually they succeed, and the wolf scrambles on to the next person.’ (How do you know the wolf scrambled on to the next person if it’s invisible—I’m not trying to be picky—just making a point)
Next sentence: ‘...pushing our (way) through it and stumbling out into the night.’ (No biggie—I’ve left words out plenty of times myself! Sometime my mind sees the word when it’s not really there, no matter how many times I read it!)
Also, you might want to put this in a larger font and double space the paragraphs to make it easier to read.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! PLEASE!
PS-I'm sure you already know this, but you might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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493
493
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp*I am happy to review you as part of our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 12th Anniversary Free For All Raid! *Delight*

Hello there, Riding Hood!
For as short as this is, this is a well written, albeit sad, look at the possible end of the world (*Music1* as we know it! *Laugh* *Music2*). I like how you described your surroundings with the homeless taking over abandoned cars and the young and the drug addicts possibly being the first ones to die since you don't see them around too much anymore.
The population of this planet is exploding, and there are countries where things like this aren't too far from happening right now!
Who knows? Maybe this will happen before my vision of a nuclear holocaust happens! *Shock2*
Very well done, my friend!
My only suggestion would be to expand on this. You've already laid a good outline, but now you could go into even more detail. Perhaps even write a book about it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Riding Hood! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful evening/tomorrow!
PS-Thanks for making me look up what a 'busker' is! *Bigsmile*

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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494
494
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloonp*I am happy to review you as part of our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 12th Anniversary Free For All Raid! *Delight*

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hello, Max! Happy 12th WdC ‘birthday’ on here!
Ironically, this is the 2nd review of a movie review I’ve done today, and the first two I’ve EVER done in the 8 years I’ve been here!
Like Laurie Razor’s review, this is really professional. Both of you sound like actual TV movie critics! You gave us just enough information about the movie without giving away any spoilers, while also sneaking a few enticing details about the actors and some other 'squishy' parts into it.
Apparently, this movie isn't too high on your thumbs up list, but at least you weren't completely negative about it.
Very well done, my friend!
I've never seen this movie before, but perhaps one day I'll check it out to see just how bad it is. That 'moronic' twist sounds kind of interesting!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Max! 'Twas a pleasure to read this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
I think this movie review is worthy of at least *ThumbsUpL* *ThumbsUpL* *ThumbsUpL* *ThumbsUpL* *ThumbsUpL*

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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495
495
Review of Rock Seeds  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Bon jour, Normajean!
This is good! I like the idea of 'rock seeds'! Madeline might not be the best little neighbor, but I don't think she had bad intentions.
You did a nice job with the prompt phrase, and it truly is remarkable how creative and imaginative a child's mind can be (as is yours for thinking of something like this!). Kind of reminds me of that saying, 'Out of the mouths of babes.'
Very well written, and that ending was perfect.
One tiny niggle:
"What are you doing(,) Madalyn?"
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! Have a great day, and good luck in the contest (although I don't think you'll need any-I honestly think this might win!)

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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496
496
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Greetings, Hanlemeaveragely!
This is good, and I like how you thought outside of the box using those prompt words.
I like the idea of this Library of Mystic Knowledge, and the best part was the librarian showing the traveler those unusual books!
Wait, I take that back. The best part was what each of those 3 books represented! You managed to make this an ethically (or morally) piece, and it makes perfect sense, in its own strange way: "One cannot hold their destiny for it will slip, it is too heavy a burden to be lifted alone, and made of too many chunks to be understood."
Words to live by!
Great spelling and telling but I did spot a few speech tag niggles:
"...and know my destiny(.)" for he had sick siblings...' (comma)
"Follow me." the librarian told him...' (same here, and with that last two speech tag)
Otherwise, bravo!
I also got a kick out of that last line where the traveler tells those waiting behind him not to bother! *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Handlemeaveragely! 'Twas a pleasure to read, have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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497
497
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am happy to review you as part of our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  12th Anniversary Free For All Raid!

Bon jour, Pernell!
This is cool for a 500 FF piece! I like how you used the prompt, and I'm sure that twist at the end was just as surprising for Jake as it was for the readers! *Laugh*
Granted the ending was a little ambiguous as we're not quite sure WHY they died in such a way as to asphyxiate themselves in the car, but that's not really important. Some questions just don't have any answers!
Well done, my friend! I can see why this won the contest. Congratulations!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Pernell! It's good to see entering "SCREAMS!!!"  again!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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498
498
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am happy to review you as part of our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  12th Anniversary Free For All Raid!

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hi, Nat.
This isn't bad for your 1st piece on here. It touches on a pretty heavy subject about spousal abuse though (right?), but if you can pull it off for a whole novel, then I say go for it.
You did a good job with the dialogue, and the spelling and grammar were also good. There's a few tiny niggles, but I think if you went back over this you could spot them.
It will be interesting to see where you go with this. Do you have an outline, or are you writing by the seat of your pants?
Just curious.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Nat, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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499
499
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I am happy to review you as part of our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  12th Anniversary Free For All Raid!

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Abby Olson!
Yes, that would indeed be a pretty precarious situation to be in if you were breaking into somebody’s house to rob them and wound up being caught by the owner!
This dude should consider himself lucky! At least he’s not going to jail, and he still has his head on his shoulders! In most states, if not all, that homeowner could have legally blown his head off!
For just ‘dipping your toes into the writing pool’, this was very well written!
Bravo, Abby! The spelling and grammar was flawless, and the whole piece read smoothly!
I used to enter this contest a lot, so let me give you a little hint to increase your odds of winning: the owner, Arakun the Twisted Raccoon, loves twisted/surprise endings, so you might to consider that if you enter it again! *Wink*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Abby! Good luck in the contest, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
500
500
Review of Dis Lunar Sea  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am happy to review you as part of our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  12th Anniversary Free For All Raid!

Aloha, Laurie!
This is a strange piece. Strange, but good. You’re really thinking outside of the box lately.
First off, I … AM … NOT … PROGRAMMED …But I see what you’re talking about. In a sense, we really are being programmed everyday. People are constantly being influenced by ads on TV telling us what we should buy, how we should live, how we do everything. Ever heard of subliminal messages? I remember reading an article in Playboy years ago about how they would use shadowing in ice cubes of drinks to get people get sexually aroused. And that was just the first layer of the onion!
As for your reference to The Manchurian Candidate, I never saw it or read it, but I know what it was about. Just don't look at the Queen of Diamonds. *Laugh*
Dean Koontz’s latest Jane Hawks series deals with people’s minds being taken over when somebody says a certain phrase. Like this one: ‘Laurie Razor is a great horror writer.’
Do I have your full attention now, Laurie? Good. You will write a number one best selling horror novel within the next 3 years.
(Angus snaps his fingers)
OK. That’s my review.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend. Thanks for sharing this, weekend gnarly really a have and!

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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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