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Review of Life with Physics  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Howdy, SeanFear!
This is cool! I like how you opened up about your career choice and what you had to go through in college, although at first I wasn't sure what you meant about the teasing. How could anybody get physics and psychiatry mixed up? That is what happened, right? Since you referred to people asking you about your next sanitarium and what is your next session.
I never put anybody down about what they selected for careers in life, and in fact I always thought you had to be pretty damn smart to be a physicist. Hell, look at Stephen Hawking (God bless his soul!)! And then you have The Big Bang Theory, even though I'm not sure if that show was on when you wrote this 10 years ago.
Regardless, you have nothing to be ashamed of, as I'm sure you know by now.
As for Whose Line Is It Anyway, I LOVE that show! I used to watch it when that other English dude hosted it like 20 years ago, but they still had Ryan Stiles, Colin Mocherie, and a couple of other regulars!
That's right, the points DON'T matter!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, always remember that energy equals the speed of light time mass squared! *Laugh* That's probably as much about physics as I know...

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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for entry "Game of Clouds" Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Teresa!
I've always enjoyed looking at clouds and trying to see things in them, but this is the first time I've ever heard of somebody making a game out of it. And a travel game at that! Nice!
I love people who use their imaginations. Maybe that's because I was raised around a bunch of people who had no imaginations whatsoever! When I was a kid I'd sometimes point at something that looked like maybe dog in the sky and say, "Hey, check that out!" and they'd say "What? I don't see nothing, except a stupid cloud." *Angry*
Anyway, thanks for sharing this, Teresa, and thanks for the tip about 'the cloud game'! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a wonderful day!
PS-I've even see trees that look like animals! Seriously!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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478
478
Review of Mouse Code  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Guten tag, Nordic Noir!
This is pretty good for a flash fiction piece.
One thing I enjoy about reading these FF contest entries is seeing how far people will think outside of the box with Arakun the twisted raccoon’s prompts, and you certainly thought outside of the box with this one.
Rat #6725 is apparently smarter than your average rat, but I think Sebastian was onto something with his suggestion that it might have an AC/DC song stuck in his head. After all, Angus rules! *Bigsmile*
Seriously though, you did a good job with this prompt. I guess even rats can get bored doing the same damn thing over and over again!
Sorry to be so picky, but I did spot one tiny niggle (grammar is a big pet peeve of mine—I even caught a quotation niggle in a R.L. Stine book the other day!):
(“)Like what kind of cheese he wants for dinner?”
By the way, when I first joined WdC, I actually managed to get one of my stories for this contest published. It’s "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. if you want to check it out.
Keeponwritingon, Nordic! ‘Twas a pleasure to read, and have a really gnarly day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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479
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Ahoy, BusyButterfly!
I like how you’re doing this. You’ve obviously done a lot of research, and it shows. You’re delving deeper into Mary Shelley’s life with some of these details, revealing things I never knew about her. That recent movie we talked about in my last review told us a lot of things in general, but it didn’t really scratch the surface of her life as deeply as you are with these chapters. For instance, I didn’t know she felt guilty for the death of her mother, nor did I know about that she visited her grave and read and wrote there, or that she learned to read by touching the letters on her mother’s grave. I think that last part might be embellishing it a bit, but I don’t doubt that it could have contributed to her literacy.
You’re creating a biography of Mary Shelley here, and it’s certainly interesting. There’s quite a few grammar mistakes in it, but I won’t touch on those.
I’m a major Stephen King fan, and I know quite a bit about his life, so to read about Mary Shelley’s life is more fascinating than I thought it would be. I think that movie got me interested.
Anyway, I’ll keep reading these chapters as long as you keep putting them out here!
Until next time...
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a wonderful day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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480
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Review of The Young Jester  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Jim!
This is a really nice piece! You did an excellent job of showing this young man's adversity to his illness by using 'laughter as the best medicine', and you've written it so well it could probably even bring tears to some folks!
The whole piece is written as the story of his life and how he brings smiles and hope to others, even after he's beaten his own terminal illness. Like they say, 'the show must go on', I guess.
I was a little surprised that this isn't the first I've read of this young man. I clicked on "The Jester" Open in new Window. and was surprised that I read and reviewed it 5 years ago!
Very well done, my friend! I'll try to take a look at the rest of these in The Jester Poems if I get a chance!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this great and uplifting piece, and have a fantastic day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

Take a long look! It's not too often you'll see me with a halo! *Laugh*

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Bon jour, Sorji!
I like the idea of this, but I got a little confused when the boy got older and his parents wanted him baptized. I was under the assumption that he was already dead and buried, so how could he be baptized? I guess it can be done posthumously, but doesn't the actual body have to be there?
I'm not familiar with the Fill in the Blanks, so maybe I missed something here...
Still, I can understand why the boy wouldn't WANT to be baptized since he was brought up by the Demon Spawn (which is obviously why he prayed-to the Devil?-when he stepped into the holy water).
Write on and rock on, Sorji! Other than that one small part I didn't get, I still thought this was cool!

A RAOK REVIEW!

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Greetings, DyrHearte Writes, and happy 18th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
This feels a little dark, and I don't mean that to be a pun, even though it came out that way.
I like how you used day and night as brother and sister, and metaphorically, you hit the nail on the head! They are indeed brother and sister, but they're also just as different as night and day! *Bigsmile*
That line about the Father's glorious daughter Day shyly peeking in on brother Night really stood out, as did brother Night's darkness being interrupted by the rising moon!
Bravo, my friend! The mythological analogies were excellent!
Kee ponw ritin gon, DyrHearte, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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483
483
Review of City of Death  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Howdy, Ron!
I thought this was pretty good, although having lived in both the city AND the country, I won't say too much about your preference of one over the other.
OK. I know you're not saying that exactly, but more about what a lonely world it would be if we didn't have anybody to share it with. Right? Sounds good to me!
I currently live in a city of 100K people, and I really could do without all the sirens blaring in the middle of the night and hustle and bustle of city life. Ironically I was born and lived in the city for the 1st 11 years of my life, but then my father moved me to the country. I'd 10 times rather live in the serenity and peacefulness of the country!
Sorry, I digress.
You did an excellent job with rhyming words in this, and the meter seemed to be good also. That's about all I know about poetry, but with my limited knowledge of it, I still really enjoyed it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! It was a pleasure to read, and may you have a wonderful day/evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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484
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Review of The Pascal Egg  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Rojodi!
This is interesting. It almost feels like an old film noir story — it has the flavor of it with the private eye sitting there in the room with his client.
The fact that this casino owner was trying get revenge on somebody else by hiring the P.I. to find out who stole the egg was a god plot idea. And for using so few words, you told a complete story here! Well done!
I guess that 'tough' wasn't one to be trusted!
Very well done, my friend! Like I said, to write a whole 'episode' like this with so few words is something to be commended! *Salute*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Rojodi! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day/weekend!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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485
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Review of Discriminations  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Greetings, Knight Life, and happy 18th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
Although I'm no poetry expert, I thought this was pretty good. AND pretty relevant, considering the political tweets of our so-called president these days.
I've never been racist, but unfortunately I've had to grow up around a lot of them. That 4th stanza about asking somebody if they're inferior of different because you make them so really stands out, and it makes a lot of sense!
Nobody should have to put up with racism, especially in this day and age! I thought we were finally getting over it, and now it seems to be in the spotlight all over again, thanks to a certain someone!
For as short as this is, you really said a lot with it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Knight Life! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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486
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Review of Oil and Canvas  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Guten tag, Leadwood!
I thought this was really neat! I love the idea of you being what I assume to an escaped convict running from the hounds as they chase you through those woods, only to stumble and wake up in a museum with that painting of your captors looking around for you with their horses and confused faces!
Sounds like something right out of The Twilight Zone!
One niggle (I think):
'heals' should be 'heels' (unless this is UK spelling)
I know you wrote this for a contest, but why are you writing them days after the contest is over? In fact, I think I've seen a few of your FF stories that you've written for The Daily FF contest that you wrote after the prompt words were over.
You obviously have the talent, so what's up?
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and thanks for sharing this! It was a pleasure to read, and have a wonderful day/weekend!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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487
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello there, Busybutterfly!
I'm a writer/reader/lover and a judge of horror on here, so to see this history of one of horror's most famous writers was a treat for me.
I like how you're doing in this chapters, and although I know most of Shelley's history, I still plan on reading what you have in your portfolio so far.
There was show on TV recently (a movie?) called Mary Shelley, that really depicted her life before, during, and after she wrote Frankenstein. It was very well done, and as far as I know, it was all based on facts.
I'm impressed, Busybutterfly!
One thing you might want to check is the space between sentences in this. There should one space between them.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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488
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Review of My Front Porch  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Howdy, Str8shooter (Stephen?), and happy belated 15th ‘birthday’ on here!
This is a really neat nostalgic piece, and I love the way you wrote it! Our lives certainly go through ‘seasons’, and you did an excellent job of comparing your own life to that of Autumn as you reminisce about your wife and the times you spent with your children and grandchildren.
I also like how you broke this up into ‘chapters’ (for lack of a better word), but it was that last one that really made this shine. Sad as it may be, we’ll all have to come to expect that ‘man in black’ one day, and the fact you were/are sitting there waiting for him shows how calm and complacent when that time finally came.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
‘An occasional visit from my sons(,) and my grandchildren brighten my spirits...’ (don’t need that comma)
Otherwise, great job! I honestly think this could be published somewhere; my first bet would be Reader’s Digest!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Str8shooter! It was pleasure to read this, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Osiyo, Nordic Noir!
Having worked in the woods a good deal of my life, I took a special pleasure in reading this piece! Anything dealing with chopping trees down always intrigues me!
I like the fairy tale/fantasy style you wrote this in, and that part about the birds whose chirping sounded oddly like “Turn back” really stood out to me! Not to mention the magic of the tree making that deal with him!
I was a bit curious about the ending though. Since he declined the witch's offer, he received riches that lasted him for the rest of his life from those fairies. But if he would have chopped that tree down for that witch, he would only have got one hearty bowl of stew and some crusty bread!
I guess that's a question I might have pondered myself, though. *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Nordic! Congratulations on the victory, and have a marvelous day!
PS-You have a new fan!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Bon jour, Bill!
I'm not really scared of snakes, and I've been lucky to have never come face to face with a rattler. But after reading this, I think you've given me a whole new perspective on these reptiles! *Shock2*
This is indeed quite frightening. You did a great job of showing Jake's fear, and you kept the action moving practically from the first word to the last!
And that ending was the icing on the cake, although I had a feeling this crazy reptile would 'wind' up choking him to death. But then again, who knows? Maybe it did while it was giving that last kiss 'goodbye'!
Love those descriptions with the similes and metaphors:
'like a bursted blood blister that burned with all the ferocity of battery acid'
'the sleek head with eyes as black and lifeless as push-pins'
Bravo, my friend! I was going to enter this contest, but after reading this, I'm having second thoughts!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Bill! Thanks for sharing this, good luck in the contest, and have a magnificent day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Howdy, Percy!
Found this on Read & Review, and glad I did!
I really like this. This government (and all others) have been keeping us in the dark regarding UFOs and a lot of other things (the JFK assassination) for eons, and it's about time they started releasing some of this information!
I remember back in the 70's there a show on TV called Project Bluebook, which ironically was the name of the real project and was about government UFO investigations. I think it went off the air around the turn of the decade, and I haven't really heard anything about it since. But the show left a lot of questions open to the public.
It's great to see that the US Air Force and the Navy (I think) are opening up now and starting to investigate these most recent UFO encounters. I'm sick and tired of them trying to dispel the notion that they're not real, when they have no concrete evidence that it is.
Great job, my friend! I'm definitely going to check out that solar system with the 5 planets in the Goldilocks zone! I seem to recall having a dream or something where I was told that that's where my home planet is! *AlienG*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Percy! 'Twas a pleasure to read this, and have a fantastic day/evening!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of The Cage  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Ahoy, Robert!
Oh, the humanity! Oh, the horror! Oh, the hilarity!
This is great, Robert! You did a mighty fine build-up to that surprise/twisted ending, and like some of your other reviewers, I agree that this would be a great setting to a much longer fantasy story. But seeing as you only wrote it for the punch line, that's understandable.
What really stood out was your descriptions in this. That part about how the warrior came to possess that blade was very well done, and the whole piece (especially the part about the cage) reminded me of the original Planet of the Apes with Charlton Heston!
'Enchanted prison-on-wheels'? *ThumbsUpL*
Great spelling and telling, and I can see why it has that ribbon on it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! It was a pleasure to read, and have a fantabulous day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Howdy, Sue, and and happy 12th ‘birthday’ on here!
I don’t know whether to salute you or tell you you’re a really evil sister for that little prank, but to be honest, I can see both sides of it! I guess I’m kind of caught between the little angel on one shoulder and the little devil on the other.
I like the personal way told this; it was like you were right here telling it to me, but I wonder if you subconsciously left work so you wouldn’t see your sis’s terror. You knew she was going to freak out...
Regardless, I’ve been lucky when it comes to fearing small creatures, or any creatures for that matter. But I have a good friend who’s deadly afraid of snakes. I even used to have a small rubber snake about 6 inches long, and whenever he came over I’d put on the back of the couch. It would sit there for a few minutes until my pal eventually saw it out of the corner of his eye, and then he’d go screaming out the door. I don’t know how many times I played that trick on him, but he always kept falling for it!
Anyway, thanks for sharing this, Sue!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’on WdC!
PS-So you set the factory on fire? Interesting. Yeah, I would like to hear about that one... *Bigsmile*

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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494
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Greetings, Ghost, and happy 4th 'birthday' on here!
How odd that I'm coming across a bunch of pieces today about how technology will be our downfall! The 'rise of the machines' is something I've foretold for years, and this piece says it all!
OK. Maybe you've gone a little overboard with this up to this point with all that chaos running amok, but who knows what the future holds? You very well could be onto something here!
I know there's a few movies out there that also predicted this technological apocalypse, and those were made decades ago! There's even been one or two Twilight Zones that featured this scenario!
Very well said, my friend! When we have the power? intelligence? (and I use that last word very loosely here!) to blow up the world a thousand times over, then we've used up our humanity! And it's even scarier when we allow that much power to be held by one single human being!
Great spelling and grammar, and my only suggestion would be to double space the paragraphs and perhaps put it in a larger font.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ghost! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, Johnny!
This is pretty freaky, and I love the way you told it!
The funny thing is that I've always said that technology will be the death of civilization, and I guess this piece really shows that! *Laugh*
There's been a couple of movies about this very situation of how robots and tech will become smarter than we are someday, and that's a very scary thought! Having the computer 'snake' under Mark's skin was great, and then having him 'shut down' was the cherry on top!
Bravo, my friend!
Yes, they are watching us, 24/7! *Smirk2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a fiendishly fabulous day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hello again, Web, and again, happy 12th WdC ‘birthday’!
This is interesting, and I guarantee you you are not alone in your disappointment with meteorologist’s predictions of upcoming ‘rare’ (or better yet, ‘once-in-a-lifetime’) events!
I also got interested in meteorological events about 20 years ago when I wondered just what a blue moon was and that saying "Once in a Blue Moon". Turns out blue moons aren’t as rare as the saying makes them out to be! They happen at least once a year, and sometimes even twice!
Now I also understand your disappointment with the weatherman’s predictions of clear skies, only to wake up at 2 in the morning to clouds covering the heavens above. But that’s not what I have an issue with. My problem is that most of these rare and once-in-a-lifetime events aren’t that spectacular at all! Oh yeah, they show those ‘superdupermoons’ on TV and in the movies (remember the kid riding his bike in front of the full moon in E.T.?), but I’ve never personally seen a moon that large!
And to be honest, if ever did see one that big, I’d probably freak out cuz I’d think it was about to crash into the Earth!
I was born and lived in Alaska for my 1st eleven years of life, and I saw the Northern Lights a few times. They are special, but they’re not once-in-a-lifetime events.
I will say this, though: I’m in total awe of those images that the Hubble Telescope has given us! I could sit down and look at those all day long!
And I don’t have to wake up at 2 o’clock in the morning to do it! *Laugh*
I just wish see could look up into the night sky and see those images with our own naked eyes! Or even a decent telescope!
‘where the weather changes more often than a Presidential candidate's accent’ *Rolling*
Write on and rock on, Web! Thanks for sharing this, and have a magnificent 12th WdC anniversary on here!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
497
497
Review of Memories of 9-11  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi Web, and happy 12th WdC 'birthday' on here!
I know I probably could have picked a more uplifting piece to review for your anniversary, but whenever I see one of these pieces about 911 I just have to read them.
Oddly enough, I lived on the west coast and my father woke me up that morning at the exact same time you apparently became aware of what was happening. I didn't see the first plane hit, but I did see the 2nd one, and after that it was just one long, horrifying sequence of events after another.
I remember Todd Beamer and those heroic souls who sacrificed their own lives to save others, and I remember calling my daughters that night and telling them that I didn't regret bringing them into this world, but I hated bringing into this TYPE of world. The teachers brought TVs into their classrooms so they could watch the sad events (both my daughters were in high school).
I thought that part about what you told your young son when he was scared about those jet planes flying over was excellent, and I'm glad that made him feel better.
Yes, none of those first responders OR the innocent souls who were lost on that day will EVER be forgotten!
Well done, Web.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
498
498
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Bon jour, Charity Marie, and happy belated WdC ‘birthday’!
This sounds like a classic case of ‘character assassination’! *Laugh*
Seriously though, to have this ‘boy’ thinking poor Anthony Perkins was actually Norman Bates was a pretty unique concept. The irony of it is it’s about a movie called ‘Psycho’ about a psycho who’s now being attacked by a psycho who thinks the first psycho really is a pycho!
Yeah, just be sure that neon vacancy sign is still flashing! *Smirk2*
I’m not sure you really need that disclaimer at the end though, but since you do, you might want to change Hopkins back to Perkins since you mixed them up there (I’ve done that too, so don’t sweat it!).
One tiny niggle:
“Oh(,) you’re more than an actor, Mr. Perkins.”
Kee ponw ritin gon, Charity Marie, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

My latest 'Angus' signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
499
499
Review of Friendly Dark  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings Vastowen!
As a writer/reader/lover and judge of horror (and everything dark *Smirk2*), I thought this was good for a short FF piece. The idea of you being interrogated for a murder that was allegedly committed by an evil spirit was a cool idea, and bringing that blonde-haired woman to prove it was a neat way to prove it.
I also like that you wrote this in the first person. That makes it more ‘personal’, at least to me.
For only being 17, I’m impressed! Not just with the story, but that you appear to want to be a writer and you’re taking it seriously. I only wish I’d been more serious about my own writing when I was your age.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a few niggles:
‘hemmoraged’ should be ‘hemorrhaged’
"No to telling me, or you can't see him?" The chief demanded’
"Did you kill them? Or did it?" He demanded.' (those shouldn’t be capitalized-they’re speech tag niggles-check out the link below)

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Vastowen456, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and you obviously do), then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

My latest 'Angus' signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
500
500
for entry "Winning day" Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Jody!
Congratulations on winning first place, and you should believe it! You certainly deserve it!
I was lucky enough to win 2nd place ($25) back in 2017, but at that time I didn't have a PayPal account to collect the money. By the time I finally did get one more than a year later, The StoryMaster was nice enough to still send it to me. Fortunately I still had the notice and let him know it would take some time.
As for my own reviewing, there's a lot to be said about that. I know they're not as good as they could/should be, but one thing I'm proud of is I don't use outlines or form letters or whatever they're called. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with other people using them, but they just seem too impersonal to me.
Anywho, write on and rock on, Jody, and congratulations again!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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