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426
426
Review of Two for tea.  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Kass!
Wow. This is pretty dark for your first piece on here, but you did an excellent job of writing it, especially for using so few words (I know you had a word limit). And as a lover/reader/writer and judge of horror on here "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window., I thoroughly enjoyed it! *Smirk2*
Your descriptions of what your poor clueless victim is going through were nice and vivid, as was the description of your satisfaction of watching this dude take his last breath!
Kinda freaky, but like I said, I love dark pieces!
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle (sorry to be so picky, but grammar's a pet peeve of mine!):
"...on your way here(.)" I said nonchalantly...' (should be a comma)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kass, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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427
427
Review of oldheads  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wuzzup, Laurie?
Interesting. I don’t doubt that some conversation like this could actually take place in Central Park, including the shooting!
Georgie seems pretty protective of his granddaughter, and I can’t really blame him. But I in this instance I think he was barking up the wrong tree.
Or was he?
The spelling and grammar was flawless (as usual!), and the dialogue flowed smoothly. You even added a few touches of comedy to it with Jimmy worried about his coffee leaking out of his stomach and ruining his date with Cheryl! *Shock2*
One thing I noticed in this is that regardless of how much Georgie pretends he doesn’t like Jimmy, the reader can tell that they’re still old friends and he cares about Jimmy. But that’s understandable, cuz at that age people want to hold onto as many friends as they have left!
‘vintage allure’? I wonder if that would include a decrepit 54 year-old fart like me? *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Laurie! Have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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428
428
Review of The Black Sheep  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hello, Addie!
This is good, and I can see how it won the contest.
Congratulations!
I honestly don't know of a family where one cousin (usually cousins, anyway) didn't have a crush on another cousin, myself included. OK, maybe not a crush, per se, but at least having those same thoughts that your character did!
I've only been to one family reunion, and I wasn't too impressed. Everybody tried to put on a false front, like we all had everything in common (other than blood) and we all enjoyed each other's company, when in reality none of us ever spoke to one another! I think the only the reason we did get together was so my aging grandmother could see all of her progeny together one last time!
I think that's kind of what you were implying with this piece, albeit maybe not so much.
Anyway, well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Addie, and have a great day!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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429
429
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Ahoy, Jamie, and happy belated 3rd ‘birthday’ on here!
A glimpse into the afterlife, eh?
Near death experiences have opened up many eyes to make people live every day like it’s their last, and you did a good job of showing that with this piece. Most folks (myself included, sadly) take life for granted, not realizing that they could be killed in a car crash just by going to the store for a loaf of bread!
Hell, I should have died several times already; been shot at 3 times, been in two rollover car accidents, and fell out of my Jeep and wound up in a coma for 2 days with a blood clot on my brain. The doctors said if I would have hit my head on the pavement a mere ½ inch to either side, it would have killed me instantly.
Sorry, I digress.
I don’t know if this is a personal experience of yours or not, but regardless, you’ve given a good description of what it might be like to be on the cusp of death. A lot of people speak of seeing that ‘white light’, but I personally think everybody’s version of going into that ‘great beyond’ is different. That’s not to say I believe in an afterlife, nor does it mean that I don’t.
I do believe in something though, and whatever that ‘something’ is, I guess I’ll just have to wait to find out! *Bigsmile*
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot a few tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky, but I’m a grammar Nazi! *Laugh*):
‘Those are answers I shall not receive(,) however as the man’
‘Or at least, it would of been.’ (have)
‘...planning on surprisingly my girlfriend’
‘...next time, Mr Smith(.)"
‘...since I lasted set eyes upon her(.) In the distance’
‘...higher the city raised?’ (rose)
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Jamie! Have a really gnarly day, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon


Sorry. I just thought this would be the appropriate sig for this review! *Laugh*

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430
430
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Innocent/ebuka!
For such a short piece, this really says a lot about who people who stutter/stammer or have a hard time speaking to an audience, and I can totally relate to it.
You don’t come out and say, but I get the feeling your character is talking about being in school, and they’ve been doing time after time because they’re constantly going to new schools due to their family moving all the time.
That’s a hard thing for a kid, especially a young one. Being the ‘new kid in school’ is rough, having to make new friends and adjusting to new surroundings. It’s hard enough for some to get up in front of a crowd, even when it’s their friends, let alone when you’re trying to do it in front of people you hardly even know!
I know! Been there, done that!
I like how wrote this in the first person as you try to prepare yourself for this frightening task, and it really shows.
Well done, Innocent/ebuka!
I did spot a couple of tiny niggles, but considering the style you wrote this in, I really don’t think they even matter. It’s more of a ‘free-style’ form, anyway.
“you screwed it again(.)"
‘God(,) must I always do this,’
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

PSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page under Community on the left hand side.

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431
431
Review of Campfire Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Norma Jean!
I’m reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window. Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you do on this site!
I'll admit I was somewhat raised on video games and the like, but I'm not proud of it. I'm to the point now where I can take 'em or leave 'em, but to watch today's kids spending their youth staring at the cell phones and playing games (or whatever they're doing!) for hours on end is a sad commentary on our society.
They're not getting any physical exercise, not going outside, and not really socializing like 'normal' people used to do. They think texting back and forth is socializing, but what happened to old fashioned 'talking' face to face with another person?
Aargh!
I saw this coming. They said that cell phones and computers and Facebook and all that other &%$@ would bring us closer, but it's done just opposite as far as I'm concerned!
Sorry. I digress. It just hits a nerve with me.
You did a good job with this, and you showed exactly my point! NO PHONES! NO TEXTING! Just sit down and listen to some music, or better yet, go to the park and see life for what it really is!
Oops. Sorry. There I go again, digressing. *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a fantastic weekend!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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432
432
Review of Affect VS Effect  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Chris!
I can understand your frustration with people using the wrong words, and believe you me, after reviewing more than 12,000 pieces on here, I've seen it all!
One of the worst and most common ones, (besides the two you've shown and even though they're not used too often) is lighting and lightning.
What really gets my goat is even after I correct them they continue to do it!
Aaargghh! I wish they had an emoji on here showing somebody pulling their hair out!
Suffice it to say that that's those aren't the only ones, but I wish people would stop counting on their spellcheckers! As far as I'm concerned, they're worthless. If they want to be sure, why don't they just pick up a dictionary?
Again, Aaargghh!
Anyway, kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! I'll continue to enlighten the world on the spelling and grammar mistakes, even if it is all in vain!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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433
433
Review of On A Park Bench  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, SandraLynn!
This is great! It’s so funny it almost makes me cry, because sadly, there really are older folks who have conversations like his because of their hearing impairments. A perfect example would have been my grandparents!
But regardless, it is kind of funny as the two of them misinterpret each other's words and start taking the conversation down whole different roads. Going from Beryl to barrel, from intents to in tents, from miss steak to mistake! *Laugh*
Well done, SandraLynn!
Great spelling and grammar, and of course the dialogue was natural and discombobulated. *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a great weekend, thanks for the laughs, and good luck in the contest!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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434
434
Review of Stolen in Time  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Howdy, D!
First off, congratulations on the victory!
This isn't bad. It's different, anyway!
I like the idea of Janet travelling through time to steal gold. I'm a little bewildered by her use of blowing 'blowdart' bees at them to render them unconscious, though. Unless, of course, they were killer bees and she wanted them permanently 'unconscious'.
Or...was she just saying the darts were bees to be facetious? Yeah, now that I think about it, I'm sure that's what it was!
Regardless, she got what she came for! *Bigsmile*
Great spelling and grammar, and nice use of the prompt words!
Kee ponw ritin gon, D! Thanks for sharing this, and have a gnarly day/evening!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

Rawrrrr...


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435
435
Review of THAT IS WHAT I AM  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Seabreeze!
Caught this in the Comedy Newsletter and wanted to check it out. Glad I did!
This isn't bad. Personifying a show is a cool concept, and you did a good job of that here.
It really is amazing what we put our shoes through. If only they could talk they'd probably really let us have it, a lot more than what you did here.
I've got a really short piece about some shoes I just couldn't get rid of if you want to take a peek at it: "Tears For Two" Open in new Window.
One niggle (well, kind two if you count the other one):
'my owner step(ped) in an ugly pile of' (same with the other one)
My only suggestion would be to expand on this.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Seabreeze! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day/evening!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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436
436
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hello again, Addie.Cass!
This is a pretty good, and having lived around railroad tracks my entire life, I can really relate to this.
I can't say I've ever walked the tracks in Charlie's inebriated condition, but apparently he was going to do it no matter what.
You did a great job with the prompt phrase, and that ironic ending was perfect. And so was naming that road 'Destiny Lane', although the reason for Charlie's demise wasn't because of the road's legend and/or purpose.
Flawless spelling and telling, and having the road 'chortle' at the end, even if it was only figurative, was great!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have fantastical day/evening/tomorrow, and good luck in the contest!
PS-You now have your first fan! *Bigsmile*

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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437
437
Review of Heaven's Tour  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Howdy, Mitch, and happy belated 15th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
For a short FF piece, I though this was pretty neat! And a little wild!
I like the idea of getting a tour of Heaven, and showcasing that castle as a tribute and home for the innocent souls who never got their chance was a great plot idea.
But the best part was what happened to the ones who didn't belong inside the castle. And apparently, if I understand this correctly, you might very well have been one. In other words, I'm pretty sure it's YOU that didn't belong and was the one that the 'angelic guide' was referring to at the end, right?
Even it wasn't, it's still a really cool piece!
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle (sorry to be so picky!):
'ego centric' is one word.
Otherwise, bravo!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Mitch! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
PS-Thanks for teaching that new world,'pulchritude'! *Bigsmile*

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


Yeah, I know my halo's a little crooked! *Devilish*

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438
438
Review of Being Perfect  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Howdy, Guerovar, and happy belated 3rd 'birthday' on here!
This is definitely a philosophical piece, and what’s strange is that given my current situation, I can totally relate to it.
I’ve spent my entire trying to achieve my dreams(s), and some of them I accomplished, only to feel the short bit of satisfaction that came with that, and then realizing there was more. So was I completely satisfied? Of course not.
Was I really happy? Maybe for a short time, but then there was always more to it.
In other words, could I ever be really ‘happy’?
There’s nothing wrong with people having dreams and trying to fulfill them, but why don’t they realize that’s not what true happiness? That’s what I get from this piece. Why don’t they just realize that they should just be happy with what they have and be satisfied with that? I have roof over my head, food in my cupboards, and a loving family. Many people in this world don’t even have any of those!
I always wanted to be published, and I have been, more than once with short stories. But now I want to write a book. Will I accomplish that? Who knows? But even if I don’t, I’ll still be happy.
Well done, Guerovar. I wish more people would read the words you’ve written with this.
Sorry to be so picky, but I did see one niggle, I think:
‘The point is that no matter (what?) your dream is...’ (there’s also a few other spots missing words, but they’re not entirely grammatically incorrect, if at all, so I’m surmising that’s the way you intended it, right?)
Anyway, nice job.
Kee ponw ritin gon, wherever you are, and I hope to see you back here soon!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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439
439
for entry "Working the house" Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ahoy, Wiesblaze!
This is good for a short FF piece. The idea of these renovating their house and stumbling upon this body was cool concept, and the simplicity of the monster casually replacing them into his own grave was even a little humorous (even if you didn't mean that way).
That ending, although also simple, was nice. I guess he liked the green paint to match his slime, eh?
I can see why it won "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window..
One tiny niggle:
‘The figure juggled itself out of the hole in the ground(,) leaving splatters of green slimy stuff on the floor.’
Otherwise, nice job.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic day!
By the way, I see you edited this. That might explain why I could have swore I reviewed this once before!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

Rawrrrr...


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440
440
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi there, Brandiwyn, and happy belated 12th 'birthday' on here!
I’m reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window. Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you do on this site!
I'm no expert on poetry, but like this cool little limerick! Mainly because I can understand it and it says a lot about the struggles writers have to go through to see their name in print!
The rhyming was great, as was the meter, and the ending was perfect (and hilarious!).
When I look back on how many times my fingers have punched a keyboard, it blows my mind! Same goes for all the rest of us! Millions and millions of times! Heck, I've already punched this keyboard 587 times just writing this review at this point!
It's not wonder every single one of us doesn't have tendonitis or carpal tunnel syndrome or some other painful malady!
Great job, Brandiwyn! I can see why GabriellaR45 put that ribbon on this!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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441
441
Review of Escape.  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Addie.Cass!
This is pretty good for one of your first pieces on here!
Your descriptions were excellent, and you kept the action moving nicely as you let the reader know how worried you are being trapped with this 'filthy' being! And that surprise ending, although telegraphed a bit early, was great! That's one thing Arakun the twisted raccoon loves and looks for in this contest!
Flawless spelling and grammar (what should I expect considering your former professional occupation? *Laugh*), and the whole piece read smoothly!
Well done, Addie!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and according to your port intro, you have a novel just itching to get out!), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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The WDC Angel Army Open in new Window. (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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442
442
Review of Wishes  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Guten tag, Zehzeh!
This is cool for a flash fiction piece, and I like how you snuck those prompt words in there.
This a nice take on the old love triangle story where two of the corners don't know there's a third corner waiting to get rid of one of the other corners.
Does that make sense?
Regardless, I like how you wrote this in the first person (makes it more personal), and using poison was a good way to try pull off this dastardly deed. Just a shame that damn fly had to 'get into the ointment' and screw things up for you!
Now I guess there's just ONE corner of that triangle left...
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles:
'with long chemical names(,) so I used cut and paste to find them on Google'
'a another gallery'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Zehzeh! Good luck in the contest, and have a great day!
PS-I'll try to review your "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window. story before the day's out!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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443
443
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Konnichiwa, Prosperous Snow!
Found this on a Read & Review, and glad I did!
This a neat little piece about your hypothetical family disjunction between two real historical families that actually did have a big fight, and I can certainly understand your position of being caught in the middle. I don't blame you for changing your name and moving so far away! Those families are nuts! *Crazy*
What's odd about this story is that there really was a secret relationship going on between one of the Hatfields and McCoys, and I'm pretty sure that said relationship produced such a child as yourself.
OK. Your fictional self, Ms. Lora Hatfield-McCoy. *Laugh*
But you get my point.
Not sure how this did in the contest, but it looks like a winner to me!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, have a great weekend, and hang low out there in Truth or Consequences! *Laugh*

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Buenos dias, Vivacious, and happy 14th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
I'm guessing this is based on a real dream of yours, and if so, I'm impressed. Not just because of the dream itself, but because you remember so much of it, if not all of it, and in such detail! Normally we don't remember much of our dreams.
Strangely enough, I've read that even the most nonsensical dreams can actually have meaning, but of course there's no proof, and there probably never will be. But I do believe that some dreams can be prophetic, especially if it's a major event. I once dreamed that I rolled my father's Trans Am and it landed on its wheels after one roll. A month later my best friend had the same dream, and it was so strong that he even cut school the next day to try warn me about it when I saw I wasn't in attendance.
Well, guess what? I had also cut school, and after getting into a big argument with my father, I accidentally rolled his Trans Am--and it only rolled one time and landed on its wheels!
Coincidence? Who knows? But I do believe they can be prophetic. A lot of people claimed to have a dreamt about 911 before it happened, but they just didn't know all the details.
As for asking a dream interpreter about your own dream, I don't see what it could hurt. I'd say go for it! I know this happened a long time ago, but if you don't want to ask about this dream, perhaps you could inquire about any strange ones you've had recently.
Anyway, that's my take on it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Bitter Brews  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Bon jour, Normajean!
I’m reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window. Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you do on this site!
I love mysterious (and somewhat foreboding) stories like this, and you did a great job coming up with this unique idea!
Meg and Penny disappearing after drinking those strange 'bitter brews' was a cool concept, and I love that ambiguous ending. You could have worked another 58 words into it, but I like it just the way it is. You stopped it right where it should have stopped!
Where did Meg and Penny go after the shop was closed? And why didn't the barista see them when he was closing the shop? 'Only the shadow knows...' *Smirk2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! This might not have won the contest, but it was a winner in my eyes!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of WHO DONE IT?  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ahoy, Catdok!
As a smoker currently trying to quit, I can totally relate to it. It hits home for me, and makes me want to quit all that much more. And I just noticed that I'm only a year older than this victim! *Shock2*
Smoking is the silent killer, and this piece just makes that point all that more relevant! Thank you!
OK, as for the REAL review, you did a great job with the dialogue, as well as the prompt phrase, and other than one tiny niggle, the spelling and grammar was perfect.
"...though maybe not at home in their cars.(”) Why’s the D.A. interested?”
I also like how the Doc went over all those other possibilities to narrow down the cause of death to smoking.
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this (Really! THANK YOU!), and have a great weekend!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Madam MoonRei!
This is pretty good for one of your first pieces on here, and I thank you for opening up about yourself. Not only are you letting us know about your tragedy, but you've also giving us advice on how not to lose ourselves! And sadly, that happens all too often in this day and age.
People get so involved with letting other people 'use' us, or we simply allow ourselves to be 'used', that we lose focus on who WE are! Heck, we even FORGET who we are! I've never had it happen to me personally (although I've come close!), but I have seen it happen to some of my friends.
Very well said, MoonRei. I'm just sorry that that physical tragedy had to happen to open your eyes, although you see it as an excellent tragedy.
Yeah, I can see that. That makes sense.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and it helps keep you 'grounded' *Bigsmile*), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Dream Stuff  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Guten tag, Normajean!
I'm reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window. Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you do on this site!
This is neat! It's a dream inside a dream about dreams...I think. Anyway, I know what it was about, and you did a great job of telling it!
The idea of these little creatures taking out all of your dreams and organizing them into piles was really original, and then having them going against the Big Boss's orders and leaving the bad dreams out was a nice touch.
And then to wake up and remember only a part of it, only to have that go 'poof!' (as so many of our dreams do!) was an excellent way to end it!
Well done, my friend!
One tiny niggle (I think--I do a lot of thinking! *Laugh*):
'Then there is a whole other other pile...' (are you sure you want that extra one in there?)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic evening/tomorrow!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Mountains  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Chloe M!
This is pretty good for your first piece on here, and it tells a lot about you as a person and how strong you are when it comes to obstacles in your life, in this case a relationship gone sour.
What I really like is your analogy of this obstacle to climbing a mountain. Granted that isn't necessarily unique, but in this particular case it's very appropriate.
I also like that you managed to get over the top of 'the mountain' and see the other side! Who knew what awaited you there? You got there and managed to make the best of a bad situation by rekindling your relationship with your Mum and sis, as well as going to back to school and making your dreams come true!
Well done, my friend!
Great spelling and grammar (although I'm not too sure about using numbers instead of just spelling them out, at least in some instances), but I did spot one tiny comma niggle:
'...when he kicked me out(,) claiming not long after...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Chloe M, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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Review of "I Don't Read"  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, Voxxylady!
I'm reviewing this as an "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window. Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you've done on this site! You rock!
This is an excellent article about people who claim to be writers but don't read, and I couldn't have said it any better!
You've made some great points here, especially that third one. Anybody who says they're an author but doesn't read doesn't even know what it means to be a writer, let alone what a writer really is!
The first time I saw that statement was here on WdC, and needless to say they weren't lying. Their story was full of speech tag mistakes (putting periods outside of quotation marks, using periods when they should have used a comma, as in "...I tried." he said...' or capitalizing the pronoun of the speaker: "...I tried," He said...'
Speech tags are one of the main things I find myself correcting on these 'authors', and yet when I tell them what they're doing wrong, I'll read their very next story and they'll be doing the same dang thing!
I've even gone so far as to provide a short article about speech tags from the internet to help them along:

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

But I don't think they even look at it!
Aaaarrrrgghh!
And like you, I won't waste my time reading them either!
Misspellings are one thing, although I don't see why they just can't look up something in the dictionary if they're not sure of a word.
And getting ideas and being influenced from other people? Some of my best stories (in my own humble opinion, of course! *Bigsmile*) have been inspired by a lot of great authors, and even some not-so-great authors!
Anyway, I can't thank you enough for sharing this! I only wish other new and upcoming writers would read this and think twice before they start trying to write their 'masterpieces'!
By the way, I just did my 12,000th review on this site today! This one is my 12,001st! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Voxxylady! 'Twas a pleasure to read, thanks for letting me vent, and have a fantastic day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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