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13,132 Public Reviews Given
13,388 Total Reviews Given
Favorite Genres
Horror
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Romance
Favorite Item Types
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Public Reviews
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551
551
Review of Path  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Unforgiven.
After reading your portfolio introduction, I can see that this is obviously an analogy of your life and all the paths you've taken and not taken in it so far.
Please don't be depressed, my friend. Nobody has ever taken all the right paths in their lives, but I can tell that you're a very strong person (regardless of what you think!).
You made some really strong points in this, whether you know it or not. 'I never give up.' 'I walked with the biggest hope and excitement.' 'Yet, I'm still walking...'
And you can see new paths coming along your way!
Life is full indecision, but just because you might make the wrong one once in a while doesn't mean you make the right on next time!
Hang in there, my friend! And if you get tired, just sit down by another willow tree, watch the shooting stars again, and take a breather! There's no need to rush through this life!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Unforgiven, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (for whatever reason!), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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552
552
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Winchester!
Dang, my friend! You are a very gifted story teller, and you have my utmost admiration! For only 501 words, you created a beautiful piece. It's kind of mix between a memoir and a folktale (there's a real word I'm looking for here, but I'll be damned if I can think of it right now!).
There really are rivers like this that appear every so often, mostly in the dryer parts of New Mexico and Nevada where they only get rain every so often, but when they do, it floods big time!
I love the idea of this Jason Pete loving the river so much that he wanted his ashes tossed into it, as did his daughters. And then to have you go over that Niagara Falls at the end so you could be with them when you knew your time was up was beautiful in its own sentimental way. You finally understood what the old man was talking about.
This gives me the same feeling I had when I wrote my short story "TIME for some reason. At least that's the type of story I was trying to think of earlier.
Great job, my friend! My only suggestion would be to expand on this--perhaps give it a little more detail--but then again, why mess with it if it's fine just the way it is? That's exactly why I've never expanded on most of my own stories!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Winchester! 'Twas truly a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic day!


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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553
553
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Noa!
I like this. It’s a really sentimental, nostalgic piece, and I can see that it comes from your heart and how much your grandfather meant to you. Those references to Blueberry Lake and the trips you two took to them to fish really stand out, and it’s a great tribute to a man you miss and admire.
But no matter what, please know that you are very blessed to at least have those memories!
I remember catching my first trout with my own grandfather in California when I was about 7 years old, and it’s something I’ll never forget. It was on an old fly rod, and as soon as I hooked it I jerked it out of the water so hard it went flying over my head! Seriously!
You don’t have your bio up yet so I don’t know how old you are, but as far as Heaven ‘taking’ your grandfather away, that’s just something we all have to go through.
There’s a few grammar and spelling mistakes in this, but I’ll only touch on one major one. The main thing is the subject of this, anyway.
‘roaster’ should be ‘rooster’
Well done, Noa. Your grandfather is indeed looking down and reading this, and I guarantee you he’s smiling at those memories!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Noa, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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554
554
Review of It Ended That Day  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Howdy, Paul!
This is a sad and heartfelt piece, but it's very well written. It says a lot about what happens to the elderly when they lose their spouse after having spent so many years together, and I can totally understand what they must have to go through.
To use the word 'die' isn't that far off. There's even been some scientific proof lately that some people have died of a broken heart shortly after losing their loved one! They simply have no reason to go on anymore.
And even if they don't die in the literal sense, they die in their minds at least. So I can see how poor David would just go 'blank'.
Good job, Paul. Nice (albeit somewhat unusual) use of the prompt words, and that ending said a lot too. I can understand how it won! Congratulations!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a wonderful day!


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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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555
555
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there, Kåre Enga!
I thought this was really cool, and I can see why it got Honorable Mention in the FF contest. Congratulations, although I think it should have won!
Even for a short FF like this, you didn’t waste any time getting to the action in this with those passengers freaking out about that gremlin, and you did an excellent job of using that prompt phrase. I also like how brought it full circle by starting out at Dolly’s Donuts and ending it there. I don’t know why, but those types of stories have always appealed to me, as do twisted/surprise endings, which in this case was the icing on the cake!
One tiny niggle:
‘Sticking it's tongue out.’ (its)
Otherwise, bravo, my friend!
One question though: you never did say what exactly that gremlin was waving. I guess I could use my imagination...*Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kåre! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day/flight!


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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556
556
Review of Ugly  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Beholden!
I thought this was great! I write horror, but I also love comedy and trolls, because like Grubmuncher (love that name), I don't they get enough respect!
I knew this was comedy, but from the way this was going, I thought those humans were going to shoot him, considering the way the were acting. But you sent it down a whole different road, and a funny road it was!
I love the descriptions you used to describe Grub as he wandered through the forest enjoying Nature and all she has to share. And that part about him 'melting into the shadows of the trees' was a nice touch! Kudos on that!
But to mistaken for an ogre? Wow! That IS bad! *Laugh*
Well done, my friend! Great use of the prompt phrase, and the spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!).I'm surprised this didn't win the FF contest!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a marvelous evening/tomorrow!
PS-You now have new fan!


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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557
557
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Buenos dias, B Scholl!
This isn't bad for a short FF piece, and not only was it humorous, it also makes a sad commentary about what's happening to today's youth! Unfortunately, there really are kids like this who practically live for their video games! That seems to be all they care for, and everything can fall by the wayside!
Good job with the prompt phrase, and the spelling and grammar were well done, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
'Her familiar ringtone pierced the quiet(,) indicating a text had arrived.'
Otherwise, well done!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a great day, and good luck in the contest!


A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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558
558
Review of The Drift  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Bon jour, Sir Bill!
I'm surprised I've never seen this in your portfolio before, so I'm glad you put it out on the Newsfeed!
For a short piece, this is another of your fantastical horror pieces, and to be able to write something like this about something so mundane just once again shows your talent!
Bravo!
Your descriptions were excellent. The reader can feel Jon's fear as this/these drifts gradually overtake his cabin, and then to have them actually get inside just made it all the more creepier. I especially enjoyed that line about him being 'in the belly of the beast.'
A sad ending, but what else could he do?
Great job, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Bill! 'Twas a pleasure to read (as always), and have a fantastic day!


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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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559
559
Review of Fat  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Bon jour again, Rduane!
This is a very well written—albeit a bit odd—piece, but I like the way your mind works.
I like this idea of Mrs. Grimm teaching a classfull of morbidly obese children who have obviously inherited their parent’s eating habits (nice touch with that ‘drool’ comment!), but I’m not sure how their weight and dim wittedness have any connection. I think that’s a stereotype that really doesn’t have any basis, but I see your point.
I was also a little confused about Lucy and her dead mouse and how that worked into this, unless it was just filler.
I did like the ending, though; if there was any connection between those kids drooling and her safety (think cannibalism here*Smirk2*), then she was smart to get the hell out there while she still could!
One thing I noticed was that there’s a few more commas in this than you need. For example:
‘Pulling out of the parking lot, Mrs. Grimm headed north(,) for about sixteen blocks...’
Comments:
‘a Musca domestica assault’? *Laugh*
‘After a few minutes of immersion in a conversational pool of flatulence and professional wrestling...’ *Shock2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Rduane! Thanks for the chuckles, and have a great day!


A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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560
560
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello there, Nixie!
This is cool. Technology will only be as perfect as humans make it, and we all know that humans aren’t perfect, as poor Shayla found out the hard way. Just a shame she didn’t listen to her husband and daughter in the first place, but I guess she'll have to listen to those I told you so’s for the rest of her life now that she’s caught in this eternal ‘loop’.
This is a perfect example of why people should be happy what they have, because there’s so many that have a lot less.
Flawless spelling and grammar, and you did a nice job using those prompt words.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Nixie! ‘Twas a pleasure to read, and have a great day!
PS-Personally, I think technology will eventually lead to the downfall of civilization!


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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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561
561
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Bon jour, Boilerman, and happy 12th (WOW!) 'birthday' on here!
This is a nice nostalgic piece that brings me back to my own childhood, and I'm proud to say that yes, I do remember many of those shows! I also grew up on Captain Kangaroo (I can still remember Mr. Moose asking knock knock jokes of the Captain and all those ping pong balls falling on him!)
I was born in 1965, and although I wasn't around for Howdy Doody (or not old enough?), I do have minor memories of Petticoat Junction. Gunsmoke and My Favorite Martian, too. And who would think that Vinnie Bobarino would wind up on the big screen as the King of Disco in Saturday Night Fever?
Wow! I'm older than I thought! I just had my 54th birthday Tuesday, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.
Great job, Boilerman! Thanks for the memories!
One tiny niggle:
'a quick change of chanel' (channel)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!


A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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562
562
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Konnichiwa, Paul!
This is cool, and I totally relate to it!
I'm not sure what contest this was for, but I like how you wrote it all in dialogue (which flowed naturally and realistically I might add). Many women aren't very appreciative of the smell of a nice tobacco, and this female seems to be one of them. I don't know if it was because of the age of the tobacco or the fact that it also smelled like 'cat droppings' *Laugh*, but at least her husband wanted to try it out.
The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and that ending was perfect: "Yes, dear." God, how many times did I say that when I was married? *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Paul! Thanks for the laughs, good luck in the contest (although I don't think you'll need any), and have a wonderful evening/tomorrow!


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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563
563
Review of Coding  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Vicda!
This isn't bad for your first piece on here.
I started to take computer programming in college, but sadly I didn't last the semester. I do know a bit about it though, so I understand some of this.
You did a good job of showing Victor's relief first at finishing his 'session', and then his frustration and sadness after he watches all that hard work (and his 'dream') just disappear on the screen right before his eyes. I know his computer didn't crash, per se, but I know how he feels.
As for the technology of coding and whatnot, a few years ago they came out with a speech program that would recognize your voice and do the typing for you! You didn't even have to touch the keys-it was all done by your voice alone. I tried it, but it takes a while to clearly recognize your speech and speech patterns.
Anyway, good job!
One tiny niggle:
"It's finally done.", he says to himself. ('done," he says')
Kee ponw ritin gon, Vicda, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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564
564
Review by Angus
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hello there, Mystery Box, and happy 1st ‘birthday’ on here!
Being a major Stephen King fan and seeing this title, there was no way I couldn’t read and review this, and I’m glad I did!
This is different. Good, but different.
That first paragraph kind of threw me at first because you made it so believable, and I was still believing it most of the way through. But I think this is more fantasy than little S.K.’s daydream since I don’t think he liked his babysitter too much. Then again, Mr. King has a rather twisted imagination, so it doesn’t surprise too much!
Writing this in the first point of view was a good idea, and the spelling was great.
Comment and suggestion:
‘I flew through the air like a rocket and fell with all the grace of the Challenger.’ (excellent metaphor!)
‘...so you can finally ride a bike(.)” Annie said.’ (should be a comma)
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, MB, and may you have many more ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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565
565
Review of A Blade of Grass  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Bill!
I used to cut firewood for a living, and I’ve seen some things in the woods that a ‘city-slicker’ couldn’t even imagine. I’m also a huge lover of Nature, and this piece makes think of that old adage, “Some folks can’t see the forest for the trees’. Just as you say that some folks will only see the field and the dew, those who truly appreciate Nature and all its beauty will see those billions of prisms reflecting the dew’s view!
Very well done, my friend, and I can understand why it won that 2nd place ribbon in the contest! At first I was thinking you could expand on this, but on second thought I think it’s best just as it is with its simplicity!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Bill! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day!


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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566
566
Review of Laugh  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Kumar!
I'm no expert on poetry, but I thought this was great! The meter seemed good, and the rhyming words weren't bad either.
But it was the subject that I liked best. As your last line says, laughter is the best medicine, and considering the way the world is these days, that's probably what we need the most of, right behind LOVE!
Well done, my friend! You have a nice outlook on life!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kumar, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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567
567
Review of Thanks  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Juul!
This is a little different for your first piece on here, but I do understand it!
A lot of people are scared of their ego being hurt, and because of this they tend to put others down who they think might be better than them. Therefore, you're telling them that the only thing their criticisms did was made you better, albeit in a bit of sarcastic manner. But that's to be expected after what they did to you!
People who don't believe in you are NOT your friends, as I'm sure you know, which is why this piece is appropriately titled.
It's a little short, but overall, not bad.
Kee ponw ritin gon (Keep on writing on), Juul, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page under Community on the left hand side.

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568
568
Review of The Cat's Cradle  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Bon jour, NordicNoir!
This is pretty good. Although the idea of somebody visiting a certain place that has been gone for years isn’t exactly unique, you still put your own touch on this and did a good job of telling it. The Cat’s Cradle, eh? Yeah, that sounds like a perfect name for those ‘cats’ to get down with their jazz music!
The spelling and grammar were excellent (thank you!), but I did spot one tiny niggle:
‘I hollered to a(n) old man walking along the street.’
Otherwise, well done! I also like the dialect you used for that cabbie.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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569
569
Review of Toys... HELP!  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Bon jour, Katrina, and happy early 9th WdC ‘birthday’ on here!
This is pretty neat! Limericks and free verse are my two favorite styles of poetry (to read, not write! I can’t write poetry worth a dang!), and I thought you did a great job with this. It’s a little short, so I’m guessing you had a line limit. It’s sweet, simple, and to the point.
This reminds me of a poem I wrote when I was about 12 years old (when I thought I could write poetry!) that parodied ‘Twas the night before Christmas. My bedroom was a disaster and I knew my grandmother, who helped me raise me, was coming to clean it. The poem actually turned out pretty well, and I wish I still had it. My dad found it and showed it to my grandmother and they both thought it was great.
The only thing I remember about it was the opening stanza:
‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the gloom,
The mice were not stirring,
There just wasn’t room’

Anyhow, great poem!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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570
570
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Hi, Reneabri.
First off, I commend you on being so open about your past. Not a lot of people would open to strangers like this, but at the same writing your feelings (or you past) down can very therapeutic.
You don't have you bio down yet, so I don't know how old you are, but from what you say here you've been through a lot in your younger years.
You kind of ended this on an ambiguous note. In other words, you left the ending kind of open. But that's not to say that we can't figure out what happened after that guy gave you that ride.
One thing I want to say here is please don't feel down and out, as though life has no meaning. I see at the beginning of this where you're still keeping a positive attitude, and I salute you for that! You WILL grow up and you WILL see the meaning of life like it's supposed to be! *ThumbsUpL* Life is going to have its ups and downs, but I know you're strong, and no matter how many times you get knocked down, you're going to stand right back up and keep fighting even harder than before!
Lord knows how many times I've been knocked down!
The main thing is, Reneabri, keep you chin up and keep that positive attitude! It's people like you who go a long way in life, and I can tell you're one of them!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
By the way, if you ever want/need to talk to somebody, don't be afraid to ask. There's always somebody on here 24/7 willing to listen (including myself), and if they/I don't get right back to you, they/I will soon!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
571
571
Review of Whistler  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Beholden!
I like this, and I can totally relate to it.
You did a great job of telling about this possible once-in-a-lifetime wildlife encounter, so it’s no wonder it would have been cemented in your memory. Your descriptions of your surroundings were well done, as was the game you played with Rufus. But what stood out to me was the effect that waterbuck had on you by seemingly making itself appear as a man as it stood face to face with you! I don’t know if these animals know they’re doing that (you mentioned you’d read about it), or if it’s built into their genes as a ‘self-protective’ kind of thing, but it’s still cool.
And that line about you being one with the buck was a perfect way to end this.
Bravo!
I was raised in the country, and I spent a good portion of my life cutting firewood in the forest. I’ve seen things in the woods that ‘city-slickers’ couldn’t even imagine! The one that I’ll never forget was the day when we were taking a break eating lunch. My partner and I had been cutting in this same area for a couple of days and we’d seen some deer grazing at a distance, but we left them alone and they left us alone (naturally!). But on this day I was sitting on the tailgate of my truck eating an apple when a doe suddenly walked up behind me and just stood there looking at me! I don’t know if it was mentally challenged or what, but it wasn’t scared of me at all! I think I even said, “Well, hello there,” (but it didn’t say anything back *Laugh*). For some reason I held out my hand with the apple and the doe took it in her mouth, dropped it to the ground, and proceeded to eat it right there in front of me! Then when she was done, she just casually strolled away back into the woods!
I don’t expect anybody to believe this, but my partner, who was sitting about 20 yards away, witnessed it.
And that, my friend, will not be forgotten!
By the way, please don’t give up on getting published! I also used to think it was impossible, but since it was one of my dreams, I made a promise to myself back in 2012 that come hell or high water, I’d get something published.
Fortunately, somebody turned me onto a site called duotrope that lists thousands of places to get published! With them, I ended up getting three short stories published before the year was out!
You really should check it out. They even have a free 30 day (or longer?) trial basis!


https://duotrope.com/

Kee ponw ritin gon, Beholden! Thanks for sharing this, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and according to your portfolio introduction, you do), then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
572
572
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Lena!
This is good, and having been born and raised in Alaska, I can relate to this! When I was just a kid I'd sit in the snow in my underwear (it was a game I used to play with a friend to see who could last the longest!). Wait. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. Anyway, I do know how snow can affect people physically. Some folks say that if you're caught in a snowstorm, you should actually bury yourself under the snow as a way of insulating your body. That might work for a few minutes, but eventually your body heat will start to escape and your internal core temperature will quickly plummet! And yes, people have been known to go to sleep up!
Overall, nice job! But it was that last line that really made this shine!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
573
573
Review of The Door  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hi, Ron, and happy early 'birthday' on here!
I'm no poetry expert (mainly cuz I don't understand it most of the time!), but I thought this was pretty good. And I COULD understand it!
The idea of these two lovers dying together in a car crash (right?) and then avoiding going to 'the light' was a cool premise, and then to have them realize later that they could no longer express their love physically was even better.
Decision time, but at least the had the chance to change their minds!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
574
574
Review of always help  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Ari!
For your first piece on here, this isn't bad. I like the fear you put into this as your character tries to evade her stalker, but you did a little more telling than showing*. And that ending almost seemed a bit humorous; how would you know NOT to wear heels if you were being chased by a stalker? In other words, it's not everyday you get chased by a stalker! See what I mean?
But that's kind of irrelevant. You still made your point.
One major niggle:
'I thought I could felt the warm breath, the back of my neck.' (I think this would be better: 'I thought I could feel the warm breath on the back of my neck.')
My only other suggestion would be to lengthen this, but seeing as this is just your first piece and you wanted to get something in your portfolio, I wouldn't be too concerned about that. You have plenty of time to write other stories!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ari, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
*If you want know more about telling vs. showing, click on this: ""Telling" Vs. "Showing" - Part 1.
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
575
575
Review of The Resting Place  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hello there, Audra, and happy 11th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
I'm kind of known for writing horror and dark stories, and this is certainly dark! And very well told!
What's weird is I think I've heard of something like this happening before on one of those real life detective shows or something. The idea of this young man just wanting to be acknowledged by this 'queen', so to speak, was a cool plot, and then the irony of her not knowing him at all (even after sitting beside him in all those classes for all those years? What's up with that?) costing her her life was a good, albeit sad, way to end it.
But at least she wound up in a perfect resting place! *Smirk2*
Nice job, Audra! Especially for such a short piece!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
PS-I checked out your bio and saw what you said about having to write with no desires of becoming famous: 'For even if an author's writing speaks to no one else, it speaks to its creator.' (I've said this to a lot of people when they have no one else to talk to. Just writing one's feelings down is proven to be very cathartic!)


GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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