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Public Reviews
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576
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Bon jour, Tursk!
This is good. I know it was for the Dialogue 500 Contest, but this the only story that dealt with a talking fish (I think).
What's neat about this is that you're arguing with a fish (named Paul? *Laugh*)over whether or not he's dead, and it comes full circle after you try to convince him he's NOT while he maintains he IS, only to have you both agree that he is DEAD! And now he's DEPRESSED because he REALIZES he's dead!
What really stood out though was you pointing out his smell. There's nothing like the smell of rotting fish! *Sick*
Good job, Tursk!
A couple of tiny niggles:
“I’m dead(,) you know!"
"No(,) Paul... You are dead."
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for the chuckles, good luck in the contest, and have a great day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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577
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Aloha there, Harry, and happy 17th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
My folks had some friends with a horse ranch when I was a kid, and sometimes they let me ride their horses. But thankfully I never had an encounter like your dad did!
A true tale, eh? Glad he didn't get hurt!
I'm no expert on poetry, but the meter (syllable count?) in this seemed a little bumpy. But for getting your story across, it worked well.
Overall, nice job, Harry!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
PS-On the few times I did ride horses at that ranch, I wound up not being able to walk the next day because my legs and butt were so dang sore! *Laugh*

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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578
578
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Kevin!
I'm a 49er fan, but I've never had anything against the Eagles. In fact, on the like or dislike level, I like them.
But to what you're saying here, I know you've been through some tough times up until a couple of years ago when you beat Brady and his sad sack Patriots in the SuperBowl! I think the whole country, sans New England, was rooting for you!
And I too, despise the cowgirls! America's team? Maybe decades ago, but now they suck, and they will forever suck until they get rid of their owner and head coach and most of the team!
Anywho, thanks for the history lesson. I knew some of it, but not that part about losing the #1 draft pick!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kevin! From one football fan to another, have a great evening, and don't throw any more snowballs at Santa! *Laugh*

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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579
579
Review of Gingerly does it  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Bon jour, Cherry Koshi!
As a lover/reader/writer and judge of horror, I thought this was a cool story, and the concept of this gingerbread man coming to life was a good concept (and rather unique, too). It was a little weird trying to wrap my head around how the whole family had evil twin gingerbread people of themselves now, but that’s not very important for a short story like this. However, if you ever decide to expand on this (and I seriously this could be expanded!), then maybe you could go into more detail with some explanation for it.
Comments and suggestions:
‘Till I saw one winking back.’ (nice! *Smirk2*)
Also, I don’t think you need that comparison at the end (‘like Gingerbread People’), since that’s already been suggested that that’s what they were.
‘...and throwing her arms open wide, dramatically.’ (this sounds kind of awkward—maybe drop ‘dramatically’?)
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Cherry, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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580
580
Review of Where Am I?  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ahoy, Pernell!
This is good. I like the creep factor of getting lost on what was once a semi-familiar road, and using that Garmin GPS was a really nice touch.
Great job using that prompt phrase, too, but the ending was a little sudden. Don't get me wrong; I've written a lot of these 300 words stories, and sometimes you have to bring them to a screeching halt whether you want to or not.
Regardless though, I like the plot of this, and if you ever to decide to, I think you could expand on this!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Pernell! Thanks for sharing this, have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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581
581
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Livp!
This is really, really good for your first piece on here, and I love your sense of humor! Not only are your ideas for this new system of determining how we should elect our next president hilarious, but they sound feasible too! After that fiasco in our last election, I'm all for getting rid of the electoral college!
Using a game show format, especially the ones with Jeopardy and the Kardashians (which I'm not fond of all, but I think it work for the purpose!), would be great to see how smart these political buffoons are and how they go about their daily lives. Maybe we could add a 'Survivor' thing in there too?
Very well done, my friend! The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and the entire piece read smoothly and professionally. It's obvious you have some writing experience in your background, if not journalism as well. In fact, this would be an excellent perfect Op-Ed piece!
An 'idiot-in-chief'? *Rolling*
My only suggestion would be to put this in a larger font and double space (or indent) the paragraphs.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Livp, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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582
582
Review of Push the Button  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Normajean!
I thought this was neat. The idea of the fate of all mankind resting on a single button is, sadly, based on reality, thanks to the invention of the A Bomb. But you took it in a different direction with this. I wasn't sure what you meant when you said 'floating', but you quickly answered that at the end. Just adding 'pieces of the moon' was the perfect giveaway!
And that final line couldn't have been any better!
Just a shame they were both males, otherwise they might have a had chance to procreate and bring back mankind as new Adam and Eves. But I guess they would have needed another planet, huh? *Laugh*
Well done, Normajean!
Kee ponw ritin gon, and have a wonderful day!

 Un Milione di Baci~ Chapter Three Open in new Window. ()
Inventing Melody from Melania at the House.
#1303005 by Michelle Jeanette Author IconMail Icon

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583
583
Review of Blending In  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Normajean!
This is neat. I like the dialogue, and sadly, I've had conversations like this with rude people before too. But it had nothing to do with green hair.
What's funny is that in this day and age, it seems everybody is dying their hair some wild color! So what used to look out of place not too long ago looks normal in today's society.
But I see what you mean about that fifteen foot human frame. That's probably going to stand out no matter what decade you're in! *Laugh*
I also like that comment about trying to blend in here on Earth. I've had the same problem since I arrived on this planet! *Alieng* *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! It was a pleasure to read, good luck in the contest, and have a wonderful evening!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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584
584
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Howdy, Ruwth!
This is pretty good. I like how it's a story inside of a story, and you even brought attention to a disorder that NEEDS more attention!
I've run across a couple of people who I believed had autism, but to this day I'm still not sure. I knew of one young man (a special needs student at the college) who could remember anybody's birthday if you just told him once. I only ran into 'Andy' very seldom, but one day about 5 years after I'd told him my BD, I asked him again. Sure enough, he not only remembered the day and the year, but he also remembered where I was born!
Nice job with this, Ruwth. A cheap umbrella? If I saw that pic and didn't know what the prompt was for this month, I'd say it looks like a woman being stabbed with a broom!
One suggestion:
'but his sentences were usually off the wall things(,) not answers.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a wonderful day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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585
585
Review of Lucky Find  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Normajean!
First off, nice job building up the suspense by not letting us know what Joey and Benjy dug up till the very end, and there’s nothing better than a nice twisted/surprise ending. But to be honest, I should have seen that coming. *Headbang*
The spelling and grammar were flawless, and you did a good job of using that prompt phrase.
I guess the life of dog ain’t so bad after all, eh?
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a great day/evening!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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586
586
Review of |..^..|  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi there, Wolfie~Spirit, and happy belated 2nd 'birthday' on here!
This isn't bad considering how short it is (I know you had a word limit). What's real scary about this is sleep paralysis is real, and to have these voices and other sounds happening while you lay there helpless would absolutely be freaky!
Well done, my friend! The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!) and it was definite 8 on the creep factor!
Kee ponw ritin gon, good luck in the contest, and have a sleep-filled and peaceful night! *Smirk2*

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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587
587
Review of Restless Soul  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Margeret Manders!
This is a very well-written piece for your for your first one on here!
I like how you told us of your quest for peace and relaxation. Not only did you provide us with the details, but your descriptions were excellent! I just wish you could have found what I refer to as your 'happy place' *Sad*
I've spent a lot of my life working and hiking in the woods, and I've always found my own 'happy places' to be near waterfalls with the same natural wonders you mentioned, and usually with a good book.
Mother Nature rules, so I'm surprised your itch couldn't be scratched. But don't give up! Hopefully the next time things will work out better for you.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky):
'It started out strong(.) A little bit of Janis can go a long way(,) but by the time...'
'...my current state of mind, I don't know what it...' (is)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Margaret, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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588
588
Review of The Cursed Gun  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi there, Jim, and happy belated 11th 'birthday' on here!
Saw this in the Horror Newsletter and had to check it out. Glad I did!
For writing this in only 15 minutes is pretty impressive--I don't think I could do that, with or without a prompt--and you did a great job of writing this western scene.
The idea of a man making a deal with the devil to collect souls, regardless of which side of the law they're on, was cool. It's obvious this gunslinger doesn't want to take any more souls, but as they say, the devil made him do it.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
“Let her go.,” He heard himself say. (go," he)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing8 this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on here!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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589
589
Review of The Big Decision  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Kathy!
This is a nice feel-good story about a mother and daughter's relationship, and it shows just how much some parents are willing to sacrifice for their children. Sadly though, some parents, no matter how many jobs they have or how hard they work, still can't afford to do things like this, especially in this day and age.
Sorry, I digress.
Great job using the prompt, and other than a couple of minor typos, the spelling and grammar were flawless.
“I can’t decide which college I should attend(.)” Aaron says. (should be a comma)
(")Well, it’s a highly selective...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kathy! Thanks for sharing this, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Do it Right  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Howdy, Normajean!
That was a kind of a strange way to use that prompt phrase, but it worked pretty well for this.
Supervisor Smith might know his way around the shop (I personally think he’s got a screw loose!), but he definitely needs some help with his vocabulary! I know what widgets and gadgets and doodads are, but I’m not familiar with geegaws. *Bigsmile*
I just hope you and your classmates managed to get that shebang put together correctly! *Rolling*
Great job, Normajean!
‘None of us wanted bangs or booms.’ (*Laugh* Nobody wants bangs or booms, and certainly not kablooeys!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for the laughs, and have terrific day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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591
591
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, there, Tanith!
This is a nice little tale narrative about a nephew and his aunt, and I can see that you’re a very kind person. I’ve spent a good deal of my life in the forests enjoying Nature, and to have Aunt Frida tell Jimmy about sharing that gift of the fireflies with others was a beautiful (and touching) sentiment.
The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and I can see why this won the contest! Congratulations!
‘her aluminum tumbler of iced tea sparkled like her smile’ (this might seem like a simple simile to you, but I think it’s great--same with the other one--similes and metaphors just don’t come easy to me for some reason)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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592
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, JustinRock!
This is pretty good!
I like the idea of this neighbor reporting their neighbor might be dead, and you did a great job of telling it. I was especially impressed with the dialogue. Butt (pun intended!) it was that ending that made this shine! I guess the cop got the last laugh! *Laugh*
Flawless spelling and grammar, and the whole piece read smoothly (thank you!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, JustinRock! Thanks for chuckles, and have fantastic evening!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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593
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Review of Dziadzia's String  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there, Rojodi!
This is a nice inspirational piece about believing in things that would otherwise might seem impossible, and it says a lot about this young man's belief in his own grandfather.
If only kids today would listen to their elders and their wisdom, perhaps the world would be a better place.
It's a shame that the young man had to endure that attack, but at least he was smart enough to keep that piece of string with him all the time.
One tiny niggle:
'...and slowly removed the brown piece of string out.' (don't need that)
This reminds me of story by Clive Barker about an old man's ball of knots and the curses that would be brought down on whoever untied them. Oddly enough, a young man who had it had it stolen from him before he even tried to untie the knots, but the new 'owner' did manage to start untying the knots.
And guess what happened to him? *Smirk2*
Anyway, nice piece, Rojodi!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day? evening? tomorrow?

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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594
594
Review of The Suit  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Howdy, Kathy!
For one of your first pieces on here, this is good. And for a 295 word FF piece, it’s great!
I like the short bit of backstory you gave to it with the good points and bad points of having 3 sisters (not a lot of writers would do that—they’d think it was ‘unnecessary’), and the story read smoothly from beginning to end. The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), and although you don’t mention, I think this might be based on your own experience?
Great use of the prompt phrase, too.
Well done, my friend.
On a side note, I used to enter this contest a lot, and I know that Arakun the twisted raccoon really enjoys surprise/twisted endings. Just wanted to let you know that if/when you enter it again.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kathy! Thanks for sharing this, good luck in the contest, and have a wonderful day!

A RAOK REVIEW!

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi, Thankful Sonali, and happy early 12th 'birthday' on here!
This is kind of different, but I thought it was good. I'm guessing you're the owner of a Basset Hound or a big fan of the breed, otherwise you wouldn't be advertising their dancing moves. *Laugh*
Or since you wrote this on Christmas day, as evidenced by that final line of 'Merry Woofmas!', perhaps you received one for Christmas?
Regardless, I like the cheerful sentiment of this, as well as the colors!
Now, I was raised around Great Danes all my life, so I wonder what kind of dance I could write about for them? *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, TS! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Fifty things  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, Mrs. Whatsit!
This is quite an extensive list, and I share quite a few of these with you. And I also loved (and also agree) with some of those ones that WOULDN'T bother you not to do!
As for me, I don't have that many, but I would like to see Australia and have a book published, preferably a novel that was at least decent.
I'd also like to see my youngest grandannachild graduate, but she's only 1 and 1/2 right now, and I'm not sure I'll live long enough to see that.
And like you, fame also doesn't appeal to me. Or sushi! *Sick*
Let me get back to you on this and I'll try to come up with a longer list, but for now, thanks for making me think about it! There's no time like the present, so I hope we both accomplish our goals while we still can!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Mrs. Whatsit! It was fun reading this, and have a wonderful day (and life!)
PS-Fudpuckers? I only just heard out this place(?) a few days ago! Yeah, I'd like to check that out too! *Bigsmile*

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Head Games - FF  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Howdy, Ken!
This is cool. I wasn't sure how the title was going to fit into this until the very end, and even then I was a tad confused. But then I remembered watching The Clash of the Titans so very many years ago, and it all came flooding back to me!
I'm a little surprised Zach and Alan didn't just steal their prize outright instead of considering a higher fee, but that doesn't really matter. It would have really shown their greed, though!
Regardless, Perseus, slayer of The Kraken, will still prevail with Medusa's head!
Great job, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, good luck in the contest, and have abnormally fantastic day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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598
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Review of I Believe  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Norma Jean!
I thought this was pretty good, and not just because I AM a believer and I can relate to it. It’s because…well, you’re probably not going to believe this! *Laugh*
I’ve only seen one spirit in my life, and that was my mother shortly after she passed away when I was 11. I was in my bedroom one night and the only light on was coming from 12 inch B/W TV. The only other source of light for the room was a bare bulb in the center of the ceiling, and that one was off. Suddenly a bright light appeared over the television, but I wasn’t scared at all, because for some reason, I KNEW it was my mother! The light grew brighter, and I said, “Mom?” The light grew even brighter for a few seconds, and then slowly faded away.
My mother’s name was Gloria!
I’ve told this story to several people, and some of them said it was just the wishful imagination of an 11 year old kid. But I KNOW what I saw, and I KNOW it was my mother! It was too vivid and too memorable to be anything else.
Anyway, thank you for sharing this, Norma Jean, and thank you for the memories! *Heart*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a wonderful evening!
By the way, you telling me that you smile when you see me reviewing you made ME smile! *Smile*

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of The Umbrella  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wuzzup, Bill?
This is good, but I’m still trying to figure out why it's good. Seriously, it’s kind of ambiguous, and I think different people are going to interpret it in their own particular ways. But I think that’s what you wanted, right? Unless I missed something here.
I see you have it under ‘death’ and ‘dark’, and I can interpret this man rushing through the rain to give this man an umbrella as having something to do with the Grim Reaper, but only vaguely. Don’t get me wrong, though; what I enjoy most about it is how open to interpretation you left it!
Or as I said before, maybe I just didn’t get it?
One comment, one niggle:
‘as if he were whispering a confession into the private chapel of his cupped hands’ (nice simile!)
‘a(n) acrid odor’
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a great day/evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of 2’s  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Jillian!
I'm not a poetry expert, but I thought this was good.
I agree that we were made to be in '2's, even though your poem seems a bit contrary to that (I peeked at a couple of your pieces, like "Prison" Open in new Window.). But I see what you mean.
I've had my share of lost loves over my lifetime, but it took me a long time to get over my last one. And even now I'm still not sure if I could go through that pain again. That last line of this pretty sums it up for me: that all I need is me.
I wish it weren't that way, but the idea of giving my heart to another and risk having it torn apart again is just too great at this stage in my life. Maybe, hopefully, I'll feel different one day.
Very nice poem, Jillian. I can tell you wrote it from the heart, and it says a lot for only so many words!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here (I know you've been on here since February), perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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