*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/deadzone/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/29
Review Requests: OFF
13,132 Public Reviews Given
13,388 Total Reviews Given
Favorite Genres
Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Romance
Favorite Item Types
Horror
I will not review...
Romance or pieces longer than 3,000 words!
Public Reviews
Previous ... 25 26 27 28 -29- 30 31 32 33 34 ... Next
701
701
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hi, Sunflower (Patrice?), and happy belated 'birthday' on WdC!
My daughter has bipolar disorder, so I know some of what you're going through from a relative's perspective. But now they think they might have gotten her diagnosis wrong and think she might have borderline personality disorder, or even a possibility of both.
Regardess, she's slowly making progress, but it's not easy for her since she's raising 3 sons, two of which are teenagers.
Anyway, I'm so happy you're publishing this book, if you haven't already. I see that this was written back in 2015, and another piece you wrote about it was dated last year. Personally, I really liked 'Bipolar Kaleidoscope', but apparently you've put that one to bed.
Anyway, I hope things are going good for you now and your book is successful. I don't see why it wouldn't be, considering how many people are being diagnosed with these afflictions these days.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

Angel Army Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
702
702
Review of Ringing  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hi, Yellow Rose.
I know you aren’t here physically, but I know you are in spirit, which is why I’m reviewing this.
This is a really nice, beautiful tribute to your grandmother and her garden, but I don’t think you knew how special it really was when you were writing it. The idea of these blue bells ‘ringing’ to alert you when she was near was a great idea, and I know you’re with her now. You spoke of her age and how she was getting older, but you also mentioned how she told you that those ‘faeries’ at their conventions would ring those blue bells to let you know that they were carrying your messages to her in the Great Beyond.
I guess that’s what I’m doing today with this review, Rose. It’s spring here now and flowers are starting to blossom, and although I don’t have any blue bells, I know they’re ringing somewhere and those faeries are carrying my message to YOU!
Thank you for allowing me the pleasure to be your friend while you were here with us, Rose.
Write on forever, my friend! You will never be forgotten!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

Angel Army Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
703
703
Review of Pretty Convincing  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aloha, Trailerpark!
I thought this was great! I've actually tried to mess around with people's heads before by talking in an accent, but it never works. Mainly because I simply can't do it! But the idea of Scott pulling this off for who-knows-how-long and then having to own up to it was perfect!
'What a tangled web we weave...' *Laugh*
But hey, at least Carly's getting a trip to 'down under' for 3 weeks! *Rolling*
Flawless spelling and grammar (thank you!), and that ending line couldn't have been any better!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Trailerpark, PLEASE! Thanks for the chuckles, good luck in the contest, and have a wonderful day/evening!

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
704
704
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Bon jour, Señor Ken!
This is a good thinking piece, and I like the way you wrote it. Having these two space pioneers/time travelers trying to seek out the beginning of the universe (and time, for that matter) was a cool concept. I also like how you didn’t get too scientific or ‘crazy’ with the terms; it was easy to understand and had a realistic ending.
The reason I say ‘realistic’ is because I don’t think we’ll ever be able to see the beginning of time. At least in here in our physical forms. The same goes for being able to prove there’s a God. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying there’s no God, but I just think there’s some things we aren’t allowed to know. Too much knowledge can be a dangerous thing (think of the atomic bomb!), and I believe there’s some things we just aren’t meant to know.
Oddly enough, I wrote a short story that deals with this same subject, and ends in the same way!
Anyway, well done, Ken! Thanks for sharing this, and I’ll try to give you some competition!
'It was possible to go anywhere and anywhen ... and Alex had proved it.' (nice!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, and have a great day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
705
705
Review of Machine Learning  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Irised!
For your first piece on here, I thought it was pretty good!
I like the idea of a machine that helps people find love, yet it can't find love for itself, and you did a great job of portraying that irony with this. It/he's just a machine, so it's not supposed to have feelings, but it obviously has knowledge (the knowledge we gave it), so it knows what feelings are! So now it's asking itself why it doesn't have feelings.
Too much information...overload...can't process... *Laugh*
The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and the whole piece read smoothly!
Well done, Irised!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
706
706
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Ray!
This is pretty cool! I've never entered this contest, but you did a great job with that picture prompt. Your puns were good, and I like the idea of these chairs discussing an afterlife for their kind. That's pretty creative, and that line about 'the great office in the sky' was perfect! *Laugh*
Now let's all bow our heads and have a moment of silence for Old Rocker...
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a great day, and good luck in the contest!
PS-You're getting as bad as bobturn! Where do you guys find the time to write all these stories? Don't you ever sleep?

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

My latest 'Angus' signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
707
707
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Bon jour, Ray!
I must say, you do have a 'taste' for the macabre, don't you? *Laugh*
Seriously though, this is really good, and what's trippier yet is that it's based on a true story? Wild!
You couldn't have done a better job writing this, Ray. The whole piece flowed well, from Michel eating that silver serving lid and platter to how he got hooked up with Kaspar and that painting that would kill anyone who viewed it! That ending was the icing on the cake, though. I remember the ending of Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind where all those missing planes and ships and people (presumably many from the Bermuda Triangle) came off the space ship, and that's sort of what it reminds me of. I can just picture his wife seeing all those 'meals' suddenly appearing in that bedroom! *Shock2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ray! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a tremendously terrorific *Smirk2* day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

Rawrrrr...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
708
708
Review of "Tit-for-Tat"  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Howdy, Alexis!
This is kind of weird, but considering the prompt, I also thought it was pretty good! And I can understand why it won!
I was honestly thinking about tossing my hat in for this prompt, but there were just too many possibilities to imagine, one of which stuck in my mind: the male version of something shrinking on him, but I just couldn't bring myself to write about something like that! *Shock2*
Great job with the 'perky' descriptions, and the concept of jealousy over breast size was a great idea to write about!
Cool ending, too! *Devilish*
Kee ponw ritin gon, congratulations on the victory, and have a wonderful day, 'Darling'! *Laugh*
PS-You've only been on here for less than 2 months? Seems like a lot longer than that...

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
709
709
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ahoy, Jennifer!
For only 499 words you did a great job with this, and I love the concept!
The idea of this student’s curiosity getting him into trouble might not be unique, but considering what he was curious about was perfect. The whole piece flowed smoothly with him finding those newspapers in the garbage, but it was the ending that made this shine. I honestly didn’t know how you were going to pull it off. I knew he’d turn into a leafy figure, but the elegance (for lack of a better word) with which you did it was excellent. Having him standing sentinel for the next 200 years as he was gradually joined with other students who obviously shared his curiosity to form a ‘a leafy army of silent soldiers’ couldn’t have been any better!
Bravo!
This reminds me of Stephen King’s The Shining where little Danny goes out in front of the motel and watches as the topiary beasts come to life. It also has the flavor of Harry Potter with the magic.
One niggle, one comment:
‘...so much excitement(,) he couldn’t keep his hands’ (don’t need that)
‘Even a few fish had disappeared from their bowls.’ *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Jennifer! PLEASE! I hope to see more of you entries in "SCREAMS!!!" , and have a fiendishly fantastic day! *Smirk2*

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
710
710
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, xyz_and_abc.
This isn’t bad, but it feels incomplete. I know you only had 300 words to use (you still had 49 left), but the reader doesn’t have enough information. About all we know is the father and uncle had a physical confrontation where Curio got the worst of it, but other than it being about money, that’s all we have. It obviously wasn’t a ‘happily ever after’ ending since they conversed in ‘silent stares’, and you did a nice job with the prompt phrase, but I just think there should have been more ‘meat’ (substance) to it, if you know what I mean.
Please don’t take this as criticism of you or the story; I’m only trying to help. This is simply my humble opinion, for what that’s worth!
Hint: I used to enter this story a lot back in the day, and I even won a few times. Something you might want to know about it is that Arakun the Twisted Raccoon really loves surprise/twisted endings, so you might want to consider that the next time you enter.
Kee ponw riting, xyz_and_abc! Thanks for sharing this, and have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
711
711
Review of Story  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Ryley (not your real name, btw *Laugh*)!
I don't write fantasy, but I've read enough of it to know that one major advantage the writer has is the limitless use of his/her imagination, which leaves the possibilities endless! The same thing with science fiction (which is kind of weird because some of the things they 'imagined' in Star Trek have actually been developed! *Shock2*).
I don't see any reason NOT to go with this, even though you didn't give us too much information. But I wonder if you're going to be a 'pantser' (one who writes without a plan), or are you going to make an outline? It doesn't really matter, as long as it works for you. Some famous writers are pantsers, some make an outline.
But you have to start, and that means writing that first sentence!
On a side note, I see that you're only 19. I hope you're serious about writing, and I only wish I'd been more serious about my writing when I was your age! I was always told I should write a book, but I didn't get serious about it until I joined this site about 8 years ago. I'm still banging my head against a wall *Headbang* for all those wasted years!
So in conclusion, I say GO FOR IT! There's no time like the present, and just writing a few words every day will add up a lot quicker than you know! I'm currently trying to write a book, and being the turtle that I am, I know that slow and steady will win the race!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (as much as you like to read), then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

PSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
712
712
Review of Life is Dukkha.  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Buenos dias, Xarthin!
For your very first contest entry, I thought this was pretty good, and congratulations on winning 3rd place with it!
I'm so glad you explained what 'dukkha' is, and this story is a the real meaning of it. I can understand why Hat would initially be angry with her mother, and maybe she should be. Whether or not she lost her daughter to the big city, she still should have been more encouraging instead of telling her she couldn't do it!
But alas, I guess the heart always wins over in the end...
Nice job, Xarthin. It was easy to follow, and the spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!)
'feeling her nails carve the plastic screen' (Dang! She must've been pretty darn angry!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic day/evening!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

Angel Army Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
713
713
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Solitary!
This is a nice tribute to a chicken you obviously liked a lot, provided this is a true story), and I like the way you told it. Your descriptions of Black Ayam were great, and even though he probably could never match up to True Blue, he still 'tried his luck' with the ladies when he had a chance.
But now with True Blue gone, it looks like he's going to be the cock of the walk, so to speak, which is likely why he's crowing up a storm!
Can't say I've ever read a tribute to a chicken before, but like I said, you did a good job with it.
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
'...caught out in the cold loosing toes ' (losing)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Solitary! It was a pleasure to read, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
714
714
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hi there, Turtlemoon (Susan?), and happy 13th (wow!) 'birthday' on here!
I like this! It makes me think of how many things I should have written down during some the things I experienced in my life. But as a teacher? Yes, I'm sure you could have volumes of teenage antics you witnessed!
You did a nice job of giving us a few examples. I'll bet there's a few of those students you'll never forget, too! Hey, when I was in school I made it a point to be remembered, whether it was for better of worse. And it was most likely for the latter! *Bigsmile*
But like you said, at least you have that one lasting Kodak moment! And you'll always have the memories!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
715
715
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Ray.
This is a really good eye-opening, informational piece, and I thank you for sharing it. I’ve known a little bit about this type of oppression toward women, but it was something that was always in the back of my mind, as I’m sure it is with a lot of people here in the U.S. Reading this opens a whole new window into what they have to go through if they try to escape.
Oddly enough, I don’t see a lot of chase/escape scenes in the horror that I read (and I can’t write them either-might have to take a course from you!), but you did a great job with this as this woman gets away from her pursuers on the plane, only to be captured later by…her uncle of all people! *Shock2*
I think it was only a year or so ago that women in Saudi Arabia and/or one of those countries was given the right to drive a car!
Very well done, my friend!
One niggle, one suggestion:
‘Any usurpers would mysteriously vanish, never to be see(n) again.’
‘In a daze, I passed through them to the promised land beyond.’ (I’m not sure since I think this could go either way, but I think the correct term is ‘promise land’, even though here you're referring to it as the U.S. instead of their Mecca or whatever it is.)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ray! It was a pleasure to read, and have a really groovy day!
PS-For some reason, I have a strong feeling that this could be/should be published somewhere. Where I don’t know, but maybe you could put out some feelers on here asking for suggestions.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
716
716
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Greetings, Marvin, and happy 6th 'birthday' on here!
I don't know if this a real experience of yours or not, but it could very well happen, and I'm sure it has.
You did a great job of writing this. Using an accident scene is a perfect example of what can happen when people don't pay attention to their driving, and they not only risk their own lives, but the lives of others!
I've never heard of WhatsApp, but if they're aiding people to text and drive, then they certainly should be sued, if not shut down completely!
This sort of thing really boils my blood. In fact, I have a short essay about texting and driving if you'd care to read it: "Texting And Driving." . It also deals with an accident, although this one is true and somebody was killed! This is something that's still going on in a few states (including Texas where I live!), and it needs to stop!
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
"I can't really say," Sheriff Taylor answered. (")It's an accident scene...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

Angel Army Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
717
717
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, SandraLynn!
Saw this in the Author's Newsletter and had to check it out. I'm glad I did!
This is good. I like the unique way you used those prompt words. It's true that the best intentions oftentimes go unanswered, but in the case of this poor forklift driver, they died with him.
Or was he the analogy of best intentions? Either way they're both the same thing.
And now it doesn't look good for your main character, either!
'My trembling spear of light poked a prone man in coveralls.' (great line!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, SandraLynn! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a wonderful day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
718
718
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Greetings, Lezismore, and happy belated 4th 'birthday' (again?) on here!
I thought this was great! I'm guessing those mythological stories are true, but even if they're not, you did a splendid job of having Cupid relay them to us and use them as excuses for his alleged crime. I never did trust that little snot-nosed, diaper-wearing brat from the beginning. He's done nothing but cause pain for me, and millions of other people as well!
I also like how distinguished who speaking by having each speaker use different colors, and the dialogue was impeccable!
One suggestion, one comment:
'Their poison motivates disharmon...' (disharmony?)
“Occupational hazard.” *Laugh*
Great job, Jungle Jim!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for the laughs, and have a wonderful evening/tomorrow!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

Angel Army Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
719
719
Review of Out of Place  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ahoy, 🏳‍🌈 Me ~ Duf ♏ (a.k.a. 'D')
This is a nice tale about a lost (and perhaps abused?) pooch, and I enjoyed the simple way you told it. It had kind of an old Disney flavor to it, at least for me.
The reason I think he might have been abused was his mistrust of people. He was leery of this stranger, even after he gave him food for a while, so I was a little surprised that he suddenly cozied up to him so quick. Usually dogs don't do that-it usually takes time, but I've seen stranger things happen. I guess when he realized the hand that feeds him might not show up again he changed his mind.
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles:
'The(n) licked his muzzle to clean up the tasty morsels.'
'He peaked out and could smell the feast awaiting.' (peeked)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Meduf, thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

Angel Army Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
720
720
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Konnichiwa, D.L.Robinson, and happy 12 ‘birthday’ on here!
This is a neat little story about growing up and a father giving his son a brief glimpse into the world of the birds and the bees, and you did an exceptional job of telling it!
What I enjoyed most about was the ‘natural’ way you told it, from the setting of the father working on his car to his son’s ‘event’ at being told he was cute by a pretty girl to the way he explained to him why he was having those ‘belly aches’.
And the dialogue couldn’t have been any more perfect!
I had two girls so I didn’t have this discussion, but I do remember asking my own father as young boy about what the difference between girls and boys were.
Excellent job, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, DL, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
721
721
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aloha, Victor!
This isn't bad, and you did a great job with the prompt. The dialogue was realistic and natural, and I enjoyed that touch of humor you added about the 'normal first date type stuff': sniffing his armpits, making sure no weird smells are coming from his body. *Laugh*
That ending was good too with Cosmo being short for Cosmopolitan. I have a book I'm writing called Penny and Nickel; Penny being short for Penelope, and Nickel being short for Nicholas.
Anyway, nice job!
One tiny niggle:
'You know(,) normal first date type stuff.'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Victor! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful evening!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
722
722
Review of Prologue  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Bon jour, Nadeem!
This is purty darn good for a book introduction, and you’ve definitely set the hook.
You did a good job with the descriptions of the night and how this creature managed to get his ‘kill’ to the cave, not to mention the description of the creature itself. The reader can see that it’s an abomination, but of what we’re not sure because it does have some human resemblance. AND it has intelligence (how much we also don’t know) and emotions as proved by him silently apologizing for not burying his victim.
These are the kind of things the reader wants to know more about, as well as why he killed that person, of course.
It reminds me of The Hunchback of Notre Dame or Frankenstein (the monster of).
So far, so good! You’ve certainly got the mystery and horror in it!
Suggestions and comments:
‘...or to look around himself to ensure he was not being followed’ (don’t really need that)
How far does this cave go? He thought. (actually, I think this would be better since it’s not technically correct (with or without the apostrophes): ‘How far does this cave go,’ he thought.
Or better yet, put it in italics (without the apostrophes): How far does this cave go, he thought.)
spiralling should be spiraling
Kee ponw ritin gon, Nadeem! You’ve got talent, and I sincerely encourage you to keep writing this!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
723
723
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Wuzzup, Paul?
I like a good ghost story, no matter how short they are, and this isn’t bad. I was a little confused the ending, though. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with an ambivalent ending where it’s left to the reader to imagine what happened, but this was just a little too ambivalent.
I can see that the ghost and this living guy have come to a deal, but then the ghost is cut off mid-sentence.
The more I keep reading this, the more I think I missed something. If so, let me know.
One tiny niggle:
“Well, your daddies wrong.” (daddy’s)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Paul, and have a great day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

My latest 'Angus' signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
724
724
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hi, Shiki!
I'm no musician, so I can only by what I think you mean, but I do like this.
First off, I love horror and everything dark, and this is certainly dark! From what I gather, you start out as a slave to your impulses and the voices in your head, willing to take down anything and anyone who gets in your way. But as time goes on and a female vixen comes into your life, you let your shields down and no longer listen to those voices or let those impulses rule you, and together neither of you are 'haunted' anymore.
That's what I see, anyway. Am I at least close?
Regardless, I'd love to hear this set to music because it does have meaningful words! In other words, by all means you should 'rejuvenate' it!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Shiki, and once again, welcome to WdC!

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
725
725
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hi, Vivian, and happy 17th (WOW!) 'birthday' on here!
I'm so glad I found this folder! I was born in Anchorage and spent many summers in Seward fishing in the Seward Silver Salmon Derby back in the 70s, so to see this picture brings back a lot of great memories to me!
THANK YOU!
One thing that wasn't there in the 70s is the prison they have now. I haven't been back to AK since the 80s, so I've never seen it, but I can only hope it didn't take away too much away from the scenic views of Seward.
Dang! I guess I'm older than I thought, because I don't remember any cruise ships stopping there.
One thing I really remember about the Derby is that nobody had caught the $10 thousand dollar silver salmon for a few years, and every year Seward (it was only about 3,000 people back then) would fill up with all these fisherman from the lower 48 spending big $$$ on charter boats and tackle and going miles out to sea to try to catch this elusive fish. Back then they had 2 $5,000 fish (I think) and one $10,000 fish. I don't know what it is now. Anyway, after about 5 or so some years of nobody catching the big one, a family from Seward who were on financial aid caught the $10,000 fish in a row boat by the buoy just outside of the harbor! I'm serious! This must have been around 74 or 75 I think.
Oh, and I remember the 4th of July run up that small mountain!
Anyway, thank you so much for the memories! I'm going to check out the rest of your Alaska pictures, so you might be getting another review from me soon!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks again, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!


my signature
5,178 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 208 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/deadzone/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/29