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701
701
Review of The Insider  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Laurie!
This is what I consider an 'out of body experience' story, or a 'a major peyote trip' story. *Laugh* Take your pick!
Seriously though, I like the idea of this creature stalking you, and whether it was a dream or not is up to your brain to figure out. I've written a few pieces like this, some good, some bad, but I like how you brought this full circle with that last line being the first one.
Some comments and suggestions:
'I was fired from my job, depressed(,) and had subconsciously decided...'
'I was sure that it's skin was a reflective...' It's is a contraction, meaning 'It is'. Its is the possessive one. You've got it's in here quite a few times)
'A few sleeps ago, I caught sight of one of these hell-beasts.' (I love your use of words: ‘A few sleeps ago’!)
Otherwise, nice job! I was particularly impressed with your descriptions of this beast and how it split in half, but I was a tad confused as to how/why you took on the appearance of it.
But maybe some things just don't need explaining because they can't be explained...
Kee ponw ritin gon, Laurie! A trip to read, but also a pleasure!

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702
702
Review of Lost and Found  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again, NormaJean!
This is really good, but unfortunately it suddenly (and I mean suddenly!) brought back some bad memories to me.
Having Sally and Gil lose that guinea pig in the pet store was good idea for this, and your use of the prompt words was great, but my favorite part was that ending with the ssssssnake talking to it'sssssss future meal!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, NormaJean! Have a wonderful day, and good luck in the contest!
On a side note, those bad memories I spoke of? When I was a young kid I had a lot of pets, including one white guinea pig who I named 'Snowball'. One summer I took him out in the back yard and let him play around. For some reason I decided to go in the house (for a drink of water?), and when I came back out Snowball was gone. I was only gone for about a minute, and the yard was large (and completely fenced in) and Snowball was too slow to get out. As far as I knew, he just disappeared, never to be seen again!
BUT...after reading this, I think I finally figured out what happened to him. I think a large bird might have swooped down and got him! I remember there were some birds around who were big enough to pull that off!
*Shock2*
Weird!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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703
703
Review of Twin Battle  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings, NormaJean!
As the father of two daughters, I thought this was good. And even thought they weren't twins, I can certainly relate to it.
What stood out to me was the description of Julie and Marie as they described each other's 'offenses'. Petty as they might seem, I guess to 17 year old twin girls these would be enough 'fight' over.
But then again, I guess you'd have to define 'fighting', right? *Laugh*
Well done, my friend! The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and I love the way you used the prompt phrase!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a great day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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704
704
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there, Tennessee Man!
I've never written a blog, but I've read enough entries in them to know what they are. And indeed, the majority of are time sensitive, so you have a good point here. The only time I though about writing a blog (and still kind of kick myself in the head for not doing it! *Headbang*) was when this current 'president' of the US was elected. Hell, I could have written at least 5 or 6 books by now with all those blog entries!
But that's beside the point. You're only a few years older than I am, so I can totally relate to what you're saying here. I've got a lot things floating around my head too, but most of them tend to deal with more present things.
By the way, I like your helpful attitude!
Kee ponw riting on, Tennessee Man, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community, if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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705
705
for entry "~ A Snow Angel and ~" Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Ruwth!
It's been quite a while since I made snow angels, but I love your youthfulness and taking your granddaughter out to make them!
Funny thing is I was born and raised in Alaska, and I remember how a friend and I would sit in snow banks (as dumb kids) in our underwear trying to see which one of us could stand it the longest before certain very important parts of our bodies froze off! *Laugh*
Ah, yes. Those were the days! But now at the ripe young age of 53, I can understand your granddaughter's concern! I'd have said the same thing!
A snow 'butt'? *Rolling*
Thanks for sharing this, Ruwth! You're only as young as you feel, and you're definitely a lot younger than 66!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a wonderful day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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706
706
Review of Welcome  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Bon jour, Laurie!
First off, you're either way too normal or way too strange. The sad part about that is they both define the other! I don't know if you're old enough to remember the Brady Bunch, but they were considered about the most 'normal' and perfect family of their time back in the '70s. But if you look at them now, you'd seem as total freaks and geeks! Hell, they even made a movie or two about them over this very subject right after the millennium!
But you're no normal or stranger than I am, so I'm a little relieved to learn that. Just a shame you're not from another planet, though. *Martian*
Cool introduction piece, Laurie. You might be a perfect specimen to bring up to our mothership for some more observation! *Aliengr*
Nanoo, nanoo!
PS-Geminis rule!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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707
707
Review of Switch  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Howdy, Jeff, and happy 16th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
This is cool. This is a perfect example of why people should be more careful of what they put on their phones, as well as their flash drives (I'm guilty of the latter, and if I ever lose it and somebody sees what's on it, well...*Blush*)
I like that surprise ending. I wonder if Bryce is going to be getting any birthday presents from Chloe now! *Laugh*
To be honest, I was thinking this might go another way: that Chloe was selling pictures of herself! Guess that's what I get for thinking, huh?
I don't know what the prompt was for the contest was or even what contest it was, but it looks like a winner to me.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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708
708
Review of You Have My Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Pernell!
As a lover of horror, I thought this was great!
I like the way you wrote it, and of course that ending with Tyler's heart inside the box was this icing on the cake. And his ring finger was a nice touch too.
I was a little confused about that car that was following her, but I presume they had something to do with Tyler's demise, right? And perhaps Claire's own ultimate demise?
Regardless, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and thank you for sharing this bloody Valentine's Day story with us!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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709
709
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
THIS IS A WDC SUPER POWER REVIEWERS REVIEW RAID!

Hi there, G.B. Williams!
I really needed to see this piece, and I can't thank you enough for sharing it. You've made some good and very valuable points with this, and ones that I'm going to take to heart.
Seriously!
I'm 53, and I've always worried about something. Didn't matter what it was, big or small, I was always sweating about something. At one time in my life not too long ago, it got to the point where I was scared to answer the phone or a knock at the door cuz I figured it a was a bill collector or somebody bringing me bad news!
I'm not that bad now, and after reading this, hopefully I never will be again!
One comment and couple of tiny niggles:
'Because we can't fix them, they remain a noose around our minds.' (That, my friend, says everything!)
'...look around and see what we can fo about it.' (do)
'...but I would not go hungry or nake.' (naked?)
Otherwise, great piece!
This reminds of a Bob Newhart skit I saw years ago. He was behind his psychiatrist desk and this woman is telling him she worries all the time. His answer for her was simple and direct: "STOP IT! Just don't worry anymore, Mrs. X. Just STOP IT!"
I still laugh at that!
Kee ponw ritin gon, G.B.! Thanks for sharing this (I really needed it!), and have a wonderful day/evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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710
710
Review of The Perfect Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
THIS IS A WDC SUPER POWER REVIEWERS REVIEW RAID!

Ahoy, Ken!
I accidentally stumbled on this in the Romance/Love Newsletter, and seeing as it was you, how could I pass it up?
My friend, you hit the nail on the head with what the perfect love is! I think back about all the dogs I've had in my life, and there's not a single one I would have changed for the world! Yes, they all had their own personalities and whatnot, but they always showed and gave me unconditional love, which is something you rarely find in the gentler sex of the human variety. Granted they might not be the best physical partner for a relationship, but like you said, not once did they complain about the damn toilet seat! *Rolling*
Excellent job, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ken! Thanks for the laughs, and have most fantastic day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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711
711
Review of Self-Esteem  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Greetings, Victor!
This is interesting, and you've asked a good question: how does one measure their self-esteem?
Well, like you said, it can't be measured by wealth, at least not in my book. Nor can it be measured in physical appearance. So I guess that leaves it to a mental attitude. What does one think of oneself?
Here it can be tricky. If we're proud of ourselves or our accomplishments, then that should qualify as a good measure. On the other hand, too much pride can also be a bad thing. Pride can only go so far.
However, if other people are proud of us and we feel good about ourselves and what we do, then that should be the best measure. At least in my book.
Sorry to overthink this, but I just did another review where I had to think like a psychiatrist, so maybe I'm not down from that yet.
Well said, Victor! You've not only asked a good question, but you came up with the right answer!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day!
PS-What is 'ish'? Never heard that term before.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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712
712
Review of Reflection  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Greetings, Freya!
This is really well written, and it so true.
You're saying that we're going through storms every moment of our lives, 24/7, and we need to learn how to ride out these storms! I couldn't agree more. But one thing I can't agree with is that sometimes our own personal storms ARE larger than other people's. I'm not saying that happens often, but having a hurricane going on in our lives as opposed to somebody else who's merely having a thunderstorm are vastly different.
But on the flip side, I DO agree that we need to resist the temptation to lash out at others, or least try to as hard as we can! There's certainly no point in rocking the boat any harder than it needs to be when you're already sailing in rough seas!
Well done, Freya!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and I hope to see back here soon! We miss ya, and you've been MIA for a few months now!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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713
713
Review of Procrastination  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Greetings, Gocreate!
This is neat, even though it's about something I hate about myself.
I like how you wrote this. I'm no expert on poetry (mainly because I don't understand half the time), but from what I can see you didn't stick to any strict poetry rules with this. Yes, the words rhyme well in some of the stanzas, but it felt more like you were just trying to get your meaning out, and that's exactly what you did.
I wake a lot of mornings saying I need to get this done before the day is done, and then it's noon, and then it's dusk, and then it's the next morning again! Aaaaarrrgghh!
What's tearing me up lately is I'm trying to write a novel, and I've been stuck on the 2nd chapter for the last two months! It's just a small piece, but I can't seem to get the way I want it. I know I should just skip over it and come back to it later, but I don't work that way. I think I'm going to have to learn that way though, otherwise, this book ain't never gonna get wrote!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon (I know I'm going to try to!), thanks for sharing this, and have a great day!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community, if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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714
714
Review of TO END A UNIVERSE  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a WdC Power Reviewers Raid Review!

Hi there, Isolated Pawn!
This isn't bad, but it's a little confusing. The segue from the snow globe to the people being stuck on the glacier was a kind of sudden, and I'm not sure who 'they' were that pulled it back at the beginning. From what I can tell, 'She' was up there with the globe in a brutal snow storm, and I guess she's some giant in the universe playing around with our tiny little world with it by shaking it?
Don't get me wrong; if that's what you were going for, I love it. But it was just confusing in the way you portrayed it.
But if I'm completely off base, please let me know and explain it so I can give this another review!
Kee ponw ritin gon, I.P., and have a wonderful day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Lilypad!
This is good for a nice, feel good piece, and your character obviously got that job she wanted. And if my memory serves me correctly (not that I'm that old! *Laugh*), scarab beetles were indeed good luck charms for the ancient Egyptians.
What really stood out to me was how well you told this, particularly the dialogue and Courtney's friends reactions to seeing that beetle. Heck, it was in amber, for Cleopatra's sake! Yet, Rachel has to go running away like it's going to jump up and get her!
*Rolling*
The ending was a tad soft, but otherwise, nice job! The spelling and grammar were flawless, and the whole piece flowed smoothly.
Kee ponw ritin gon, lilypad! Thanks for sharing this, and have a marvelous evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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716
716
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there, Ken!
What can I say that I haven't already? You're one of best poets I've ever come across, and this is just another excellent example of your unfathomable talent!
What amazes me is that you can poetry in probably every style imaginable, and this one in particular stands out to me because you're telling a story with it, and from what I believe, a 'true' mythological one at that.
Poor Persius did indeed have to suffer an indescribable fate, and for eternity, no less.
Well done, my friend. I'm speechless.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ken! PLEASE! Thanks for sharing this, and have a magnificent evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Valentines Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Bm Pasehly!
This is a really nice inspirational piece you have here, and I know a lot of people besides me are thanking you for sharing it.
I can't say I don't admire those who are in love, or even in a relationship, but since I've been divorced I've had a hard time finding love. Maybe I just haven't looked hard enough, or maybe I've become too much of a loner, but right now in my life I could take it or leave it. I don't mean for that to sound harsh, but it is what it is.
But I thank you for letting me know that there are indeed people who love me. I have my daughters and grandchildren, as well as a few friends who still enjoy my company, so I'm not too bad off.
Anyway, excellent piece, and since tomorrow is Valentine's Day, you had the smarts to put this out here just in time!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and you obviously do since you have that book published - Congratulations!), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Whispers of Hope  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Kiya.
This is a sad, but also inspiring piece, and I thank you for sharing it with us.
There are so many people in this world who have it a lot worse than most of us could even imagine, so not only should we feel blessed for what we have, but we should also work to help those who are less fortunate. I know that might sound cliché, but we know that's the truth.
Why is it in this day and age we still have starvation, senseless murders, and mindless of raping of women in foreign countries, not to mention our own? It just doesn't make sense!
I like how you used this auto breakdown as an example of how missing your deadline might have opened your eyes to these tragedies, and hopefully more people will have the insight you have to make things better in this world. Just by you writing this I'm sure you've opened up a few others!
Write on and rock on, Kiya, and have a wonderful day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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for entry "Why do you read?" Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, Teresa!
This is neat, and I'm surprised I didn't ask this question before to members of WdC.
First off, I absolutely love to read. Loved it ever since the day I could read! I even remember going to our school library when I was in the 1st grade!
Second, I think I have to read. Seriously. Like you, it's an escape from the every day humdrum we live, but also an escape from reality! And I love to see how writers can create their characters.
Another reason why I read is to help my own writing. I've seen a couple of people on here claim they were writers, but they hate to read! WHAT?!?! They makes no sense at all! You can't be a writer without reading! And after reading some of their stories, I can only say that I hope they kept their day jobs, because any dreams they might have of becoming even decent writers are worthless!
Great piece, Teresa, and thanks for sharing it and asking us this question!
PS-One of the reasons I love to write is...and don't think I'm some nutcase...because I can control my character's lives! Yes, maybe I am a little sick, but I can do whatever I want to with my characters! I can make them fall in love, be rich or poor, or even kill them off if the mood strikes me! And since I write horror, I've killed off quite a few of them! Of course, I always have the option of bringing them back to life (if rewrite the story), but where's the fun in that? *Smirk2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a fantastic day!
By the way, a good example of what I was saying is in my short piece, "Character Assasination" Open in new Window. if you'd like to read it.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
Aloha, Ken!
Dang it! I saw this on the Newsfeed yesterday and I meant to review it! *FacePalm* Seriously!
Well, now that I have, I see that this Cupid fella isn't what he's cracked up to be. Not that I ever thought he was, but this just reinforced my opinion of the little s**t!
That diaper wearing brat screwed my life up too!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my fiend friend, and have a wonderful day!
Oh, and sorry about the rating, but somebody told me to rate this low! In truth, I only gave this a 1/2 star, but the WdC Gods don't allow that, so it's going to show up on your end as a whole star.
Sorry...

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Review of The New Path  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Howdy, Jacky!
This is a neat little piece, and I like the 'otherworldly' feeling you gave to it, especially with the two young (spirit) girls and Jeff's gramma walking toward the lake. And the idea that Gram could find that place and start on her new path of being a writer of ghost stories was a dream come true, or at least it would be for me! *Ghost* *Smirk2*
Well done, Jacky!
Kee ponw ritin gon, have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Jock vs Baal  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings again, Laurie!
Once again, I'm impressed!
I mentioned in my last review that you have a neat way of expressing yourself, kind of like telling stories around a campfire where you're speaking directly to the reader (which makes him/her more comfortable), and you did the same thing here, only more so.
After reading the first couple of lines I was going to bring up that you shouldn't have telegraphed what it was that ruined your date, but you weren't trying to hide it at all. Heck, you even told us in the byline (which I was also going to bring up)! No, you just flat out told us what this 'humongous goat legged demon monster' did, and not just to your date, but to your car as well!
How dare he!
Granted, this might be nonsensical, but it still made a little sense. It has characters, a plot, and an ending (which I also enjoyed! *Laugh*). I've woke up a few times trying to figure out where I was, and for all I know there very well could have been some giant goat involved!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Laurie! It really is fun to read your items, and I hope to see more of them in the future!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of A Stranger Story  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello there, Laurie!
I like this. Although it might not necessarily be a story, per se, of your own, you still did a nice job of telling it.
The fact that this happened in a town close to you makes it more personal, and everybody likes a good mystery, even those revolving around a strange suicide. And although you've left us with more questions than answers, it plays on the reader's imaginations to try think of what might have happened to Julian (or James, or John *Laugh*) and his 'harem'.
Personally, I like ambiguous endings, and I've written a few of them myself.
Well done, my friend! The spelling and grammar were good, and I like the simple way you told this. It was kind of like sitting down around a campfire and listening to a ghost story, even if it wasn't scary.
Oh, and regarding what you said in your portfolio intro: NO, you're NOT a terrible writer, and NO, you should NOT quit!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Laurie, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Eleyna  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Tony Hamid!
This is interesting. I like the way you told it (mainly the descriptions), and you kept the reader's attention as we wondered what was up with this odd woman in this out-of-the-way café. It's only when the stranger enters and approaches her that we know there's a connection between the two.
But...here it got a little confusing. I know this probably went right over my head, so I'm taking a shot at it: I'm supposing that this strange man is Elyna's killer, and she doesn't seem to know that she's dead yet? Ergo his reluctance to 'break her heart' by telling her the truth?
As I said, I'm taking a stab at it, since that's the only conclusion I can come up with. And if that is the way you intended it, you did an excellent of slipping that in so inconspicuously!
Great spelling and grammar, Tony, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles (Yes, I know you're a literature teacher):
'...were visible at odd points (around) her neck and sleeves'
'...asked the barman, standing closely(.) - too closely.'
You have Elyna spelled two different ways in this (Eleena), but I guess you did that on purpose since the man mispronounced her name.
Otherwise, great job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Greetings, The Crossing, and happy 8th 'birthday' on here!
I'm no expert on poetry, but I do love anything dealing with ghosts and the supernatural, and I thought you did a good job with this.
The meter of it seems smooth (again, I'm not expert, but the syllable count is good and the words rhyme well), and I like how you described the 'ghosts of the dawn'.
And considering how a lot of people fear ghosts, you've made them friendly (for lack of a better word) with this. At least that's how I saw it with that last line. They are indeed promising us better times by letting us know that this life isn't where it all ends and there's something else to live (or die? *Laugh*) for.
Kee ponw ritin gon, The Crossing, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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