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Review of Enough  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Buenos dias, Normajean.
This isn't bad, but you had a lot of words left in this where I think you could have put a little more 'meat' into it. Or maybe given a little more to the ending.
I just noticed this: are saying you were the 'metaphoric' fly on the wall, or the 'real' fly on the wall? Because one or the other could have semi-different outcomes on how people see this.
Regardless, the spelling and grammar were good, as was the spelling and your use of the prompt words. It was just that I thought the ending was a little soft.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean, and have a great day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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627
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Review of Time Changes...  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hi, Jenn!
For your first piece on here, I thought this was pretty good! In fact, I didn't think you were new here at all when I read it. Most Newbie's 1st pieces are usually something different.
I don't blog, and to be honest, I didn't know there was that much interest in them. But you've opened my eyes, and even though you've been successful with it up to this point, I can understand why you feel it's time to step down and spread your wings some more, so to speak. We all have to try to keep moving on, and your line about getting on to the next chapter in your writing career says it all. Even in life, we have to move on to other chapters!
Very well done, my friend! But don't be too sad about leaving that chapter behind. It's kind of like reading a really good book; we can't wait to get to the end of it and find out how it turns out, but when we do, we suddenly don't want it to end!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Jenn, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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628
628
Review of Rugged  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Bon jour, Laurie!
Of the few items of yours I have had the privilege to read, this, my friend, is your magnum opus thus far!
I realized this was for the PersonITfication contest, but about half way through I was beginning to have my doubts. Most, if not all the stories I’ve read for this contest are usually comedy, so when you began talking about being able to move yourself, I had a feeling something was up. And when I got to that part about your ‘fibres dancing skyward as if they are a mighty cobra’, I knew something was up!
That paragraph was golden, by the way!
Having a rug come to life and become one with its owner to seek revenge for how she treated you was ingenious, and you couldn’t have done a better job of writing this! The descriptions you used as you slid down her throat and the soft cracking of her bones left me shaking my head in awe! *Shock2*
And that creepy ending was perfect!
Bravo, Laurie! A standing ovation! My only regret is that I can only give this 5 stars!
One niggle:
‘...with my jute-backing took a lot longer(,) although I eventually managed the same trick’
Kee ponw ritin gon, Sir Razor! Thanks for sharing this, and have a terrifying terrific day!
PS-I’m going to put a ribbon on this, but I have to wait a couple of weeks so you’ll get your Community Recognition. Two Awardicons or Merit Badges within 14 days to the same person, from the same person, nullifies the CR credit.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Generation Gap  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Normajean.
I’m 53, and I actually remember black and white TV and some of those old commercials that were on back then. While I agree that some of them were nonsensical, the majority of them weren’t bad, especially when you compare them to what we have to watch today. Which is exactly what you did with this piece.
My father was 81 when he passed away in 2004, and even then I don’t think he understood half of the commercials that were on. Not because he was senile, but because the commercials were becoming so computerized and animated that he didn’t even know what they were selling. Hell, I had a hard time understanding them myself, and I was only 38 at that time!
It’s been 15 years since he died, and there’s some commercials I still don’t know what they’re selling!
As far as them selling us things we can’t afford, I think that’s always been around, and it’s never going away.
But just because you don’t understand them doesn’t mean you’re getting old.
The world has changed. We haven’t! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean, and have a wonderful day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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630
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Review of November  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi, Maggie (Shelley?).
This is very beautiful tribute to your mother, and I know she's looking down at it (and you) with pride in her eyes.
I can see that your words come not just from your heart, but from your soul as well, and the way you expressed yourself and the feeling you held/hold for your mom was very well done.
Poetry, when done with finesse (as you've done here), can have a very powerful meaning. But even if the poem isn't perfect and the words don't rhyme or the poem seems bumpy, the words make all the difference!
Excellent job, my friend, and very worthy of that ribbon.
My favorite stanza was:
Deep down I'll always know,
That a Mother’s love can glow,
Through the darkness of a long and empty night;
When my soul is softly weeping,
You will come, and I'll be sleeping,
And you'll wrap your arms around me with delight.
My mother also passed away at a relatively young age. She was only 47, and I was just 11. But like you, I know she's always be with me.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend. Thank you for this beautiful poem, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Ivan & Flint  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Osiyo, Laurie! (that’s ‘hello’ in Cherokee)
Have I ever been on the precipice of death?
Been shot at (twice)
Fell out of my Jeep and landed on my head resulting in being a coma for 24 hours with a blood clot on my brain (cerebral hematoma).
Had a tree almost fall on me (twice) while cutting firewood
But hey, I’m still here!
Anyway, this is indeed a frightening story, and I totally understand why you’ll never forget that night, or this nutcase’s comment.
I’ve never been in a situation like this (knock on wood!), but if I ever were, I’d hightail it out of there too! Especially at the first mention of ‘how easy it was to skin people alive’!
“We didn’t get them.” That’s proof that real life horror can be scarier than fictional horror.
When I was a kid growing up in the 70s, school shootings and child abductions didn’t exist, or if the latter one did, it was extremely rare. My mother ‘kidnapped’ me after my folks divorced, but that was a different matter. After a few weeks she gave me back to my father. My dad didn’t press charges, and she didn’t get in any trouble because the laws were different back then. These days it’s out of the parent’s hands, and if that happened now she would be facing some serious jail time.
You didn’t say where this happened, but I’m guessing it might have been in a large city. But even if it wasn’t, weird things like this happen everywhere these days, regardless of the population.
I was born in Anchorage, AK, and the pop. in the 70s was about 150,000.
When I was 11, my dad and I moved to a small town in California (Weed, to be exact-yes, it’s a real town-google it! *Bigsmile*). 10 years after I graduated, I came across an old friend from high school who was constantly getting in trouble with the law. He ended up moving in with me for a few months. Oddly enough he had a brother up in Anchorage who wanted to help him, so he sent him a plane ticket and told him to go up there so he’d stay out trouble.
Here’s where it gets really weird.
After he went up there, he kept on getting in trouble (a lot drinking didn’t help) and his brother kicked him out of his house. He wound up living in Rocket Park. Within a year of leaving Weed, I found out he’d been stabbed to death in the park, which ironically was 10 blocks from the house I grew up in! I used to ride my bike in that park a lot when I was a kid!
So to sum this up: I left a big city where there was a lot of violence and moved to a smaller town where it was safer. I was getting in trouble up there and starting to hang out with gangs, which was partially why we moved.
I meet a dude in the small town who’s getting in trouble there, and he moves up to a big city to get out of trouble, and ends up getting killed!
The distance from Anchorage to Weed is approximately 1,786 miles as the crow flies, so for him to die 10 blocks from my old house blows my mind!
What are the odds?
Sorry. I digress.
Anyway, I’m surprised you guys didn’t call 911 and report this Ivan freak. Or did you? The idea of him possibly being out there somewhere is chilling!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Laurie! Thanks for sharing this true childhoold nightmare-I’m sure it wasn’t easy to write-and have a great day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Misguided Methods  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Konnichiwa, Laurie!
This is great! And I mean that from the bottom of my bloody, beating(?) heart! It reads like Dr. Frankenstein’s diary, and to say I’m impressed with not just the story, but your vocabulary, would be a major understatement!
I wasn’t sure if that ‘instinct’ prompt would get any takers, but you grabbed it and ran with it!
The idea of bringing these mannequins to life was very unique, at least for this genre, and writing it in the first person and this ‘please help me’ form was perfect. The spelling was flawless (thank you!), and other than a couple of tiny comma niggles, so was the grammar. The reader can feel your fear as you cringe in that corner of your basement awaiting your ultimate fate by these ‘wooden monsters’!
I’d come try to rescue you, but alas, you forgot to leave your address! *Laugh*
Bravo, my friend!
Comments and suggestions:
‘Making teacups dance was one thing, but seeing something dead come back to life was something else entirely.’ *Thumbsupl*
‘so (I)* replaced them with store-bought art mannequins’
‘I started small, with mice and birds(,) then moved my way up to cats’
‘I lost interest in the conversation after a short time(,) although my excitement grew’
‘so (I)* left the screwdriver jutting from my skin’
‘Lena bled thick resin from her bifurcated body’ (nice! *Smirk2*)
‘homunculi’? (where do you come up with these words? *Bigsmile*)
*Considering the style you wrote this in, I’m not sure these are necessary. Grammatically, yes. But with author’s license, no.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Laurie! It was a pleasure to read, and I want to see more of your entries "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window.! PLEASE!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Pony Tale!
I was born an only child, but I do have older 1/2 brothers and sisters. It's odd that you mention your brother pulling you on a sled. I was born in Alaska, and one of the memories I have of my 1/2 brothers is them pulling me on a sled too! I can't say that's the best memory, because we really weren't that close, but it is kind of strange that that was the one thing you wrote about for this short piece.
As for the poetry, the words rhymed well, and the syllable count seemed good too. I also like how you brought it full circle with you thinking about his back.
Nice job, Pony Tale!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this (and the memories), and have a terrific day/evening!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Hide and See  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Normajean!
I like this. The idea of George (stupidly) carving off a hunk of bark from a Redwood tree was rather unique, but it worked well for this. I always love to see they myriad of ways people use Arakun the twisted raccoon's prompt phrases.
I've been through the Redwoods many times, and you're right about the Service Rangers keeping a close eye on people. I don't think I'd consider them a death squad though, but a person can get a pretty hefty fine for messing around with Mother Nature!
Well done, my friend, and I love the humor you added to this!
'Or surely knot, as the case may be' *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fascinating and wonderful day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Predator  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there, NL*.
♥HOOves♥ directed me here, and I'm glad she did.
This is a really sad but sobering piece about just one of the things that's wrong with this world, but it's a very important one that needs to be dealt with.
As the father of two daughters (who are all grown up now), I actually had one of these filthy creatures living just down the street from me! He even watched my daughters a couple of times before he was found out, but fortunately nothing happened!
As I said, this is a real eye-opener, and I thank you for sharing it. Hopefully (and I know this isn't realistic) maybe one day we can get these monsters off our streets so our children and their children will be safe!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thank you for sharing it, and I hope to see back here soon. You've been MIA for quite a while now, so I hope everything's alright!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, HOOves!
It’s funny how we can recall certain episodes from our childhood so vividly (even though your family kept reminding you about it through the years *Frown*), and you did an excellent job of relaying this to us, not mention ‘confessing’ to your temper.
As for your teacher, I think she had good intentions, but sometimes they backfire, as I believe that might be the case with you. Sometimes justice is blind, but at least you weren’t sent to the real electric chair!
‘a hard-headed Thinking Chair Parolee’? *Laugh*
By the way, I can’t tell you many times my own 4’11” grandmother went after my 6 foot grandfather at the kitchen table and threatened him with a knife for arguing with my cousin! She was a sweet little church-going lady with the heart of a Saint, but she could be a ball of fire if you made her angry. And my stubborn, senile grandfather was the only who ever did!
Kee ponw ritin gon, HOOves! It was a pleasure to read, and have a marvelous day! Now I’ll go check out NL*.

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Review of PTSD  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Ran!
I like this, even though it's a little sad. You did a nice job of showing us how you (or the character-I'm not sure which since you mentioned in your port intro about having PTSD) have to deal with these people who are constantly telling you to just 'live with it' and having no sympathy or understanding for what you're going through.
I also like the style you wrote it in. I'm guessing it's a free verse type of poem, but since I don't know much about poetry, I really shouldn't be commenting about it.
Regardless, I thought it was pretty good.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ran, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (other than in your journal), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of A Bunny's Tale  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aloha, Ken!
As I've said before, I don't know how you do it. I thought this was great, another of your masterpieces!
The idea of this chick finding the Easter Bunny on the side of the road was a great idea, and how you can write such great poetry AND make it into a story is just another added talent to add to your resume!
You used those prompt words perfectly, and even managed to drop that pun in there at the last moment!
Very well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ken! It's always a pleasure to read your items, and this was no different. Have a wonderful day, and good luck in the contest, even though I doubt you'll need any!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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639
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi, Sunflower (Patrice?), and happy belated 'birthday' on WdC!
My daughter has bipolar disorder, so I know some of what you're going through from a relative's perspective. But now they think they might have gotten her diagnosis wrong and think she might have borderline personality disorder, or even a possibility of both.
Regardess, she's slowly making progress, but it's not easy for her since she's raising 3 sons, two of which are teenagers.
Anyway, I'm so happy you're publishing this book, if you haven't already. I see that this was written back in 2015, and another piece you wrote about it was dated last year. Personally, I really liked 'Bipolar Kaleidoscope', but apparently you've put that one to bed.
Anyway, I hope things are going good for you now and your book is successful. I don't see why it wouldn't be, considering how many people are being diagnosed with these afflictions these days.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Ringing  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hi, Yellow Rose.
I know you aren’t here physically, but I know you are in spirit, which is why I’m reviewing this.
This is a really nice, beautiful tribute to your grandmother and her garden, but I don’t think you knew how special it really was when you were writing it. The idea of these blue bells ‘ringing’ to alert you when she was near was a great idea, and I know you’re with her now. You spoke of her age and how she was getting older, but you also mentioned how she told you that those ‘faeries’ at their conventions would ring those blue bells to let you know that they were carrying your messages to her in the Great Beyond.
I guess that’s what I’m doing today with this review, Rose. It’s spring here now and flowers are starting to blossom, and although I don’t have any blue bells, I know they’re ringing somewhere and those faeries are carrying my message to YOU!
Thank you for allowing me the pleasure to be your friend while you were here with us, Rose.
Write on forever, my friend! You will never be forgotten!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Pretty Convincing  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Aloha, Trailerpark!
I thought this was great! I've actually tried to mess around with people's heads before by talking in an accent, but it never works. Mainly because I simply can't do it! But the idea of Scott pulling this off for who-knows-how-long and then having to own up to it was perfect!
'What a tangled web we weave...' *Laugh*
But hey, at least Carly's getting a trip to 'down under' for 3 weeks! *Rolling*
Flawless spelling and grammar (thank you!), and that ending line couldn't have been any better!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Trailerpark, PLEASE! Thanks for the chuckles, good luck in the contest, and have a wonderful day/evening!

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Bon jour, Señor Ken!
This is a good thinking piece, and I like the way you wrote it. Having these two space pioneers/time travelers trying to seek out the beginning of the universe (and time, for that matter) was a cool concept. I also like how you didn’t get too scientific or ‘crazy’ with the terms; it was easy to understand and had a realistic ending.
The reason I say ‘realistic’ is because I don’t think we’ll ever be able to see the beginning of time. At least in here in our physical forms. The same goes for being able to prove there’s a God. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying there’s no God, but I just think there’s some things we aren’t allowed to know. Too much knowledge can be a dangerous thing (think of the atomic bomb!), and I believe there’s some things we just aren’t meant to know.
Oddly enough, I wrote a short story that deals with this same subject, and ends in the same way!
Anyway, well done, Ken! Thanks for sharing this, and I’ll try to give you some competition!
'It was possible to go anywhere and anywhen ... and Alex had proved it.' (nice!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, and have a great day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Machine Learning  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Irised!
For your first piece on here, I thought it was pretty good!
I like the idea of a machine that helps people find love, yet it can't find love for itself, and you did a great job of portraying that irony with this. It/he's just a machine, so it's not supposed to have feelings, but it obviously has knowledge (the knowledge we gave it), so it knows what feelings are! So now it's asking itself why it doesn't have feelings.
Too much information...overload...can't process... *Laugh*
The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and the whole piece read smoothly!
Well done, Irised!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of "Tit-for-Tat"  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Howdy, Alexis!
This is kind of weird, but considering the prompt, I also thought it was pretty good! And I can understand why it won!
I was honestly thinking about tossing my hat in for this prompt, but there were just too many possibilities to imagine, one of which stuck in my mind: the male version of something shrinking on him, but I just couldn't bring myself to write about something like that! *Shock2*
Great job with the 'perky' descriptions, and the concept of jealousy over breast size was a great idea to write about!
Cool ending, too! *Devilish*
Kee ponw ritin gon, congratulations on the victory, and have a wonderful day, 'Darling'! *Laugh*
PS-You've only been on here for less than 2 months? Seems like a lot longer than that...

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ahoy, Jennifer!
For only 499 words you did a great job with this, and I love the concept!
The idea of this student’s curiosity getting him into trouble might not be unique, but considering what he was curious about was perfect. The whole piece flowed smoothly with him finding those newspapers in the garbage, but it was the ending that made this shine. I honestly didn’t know how you were going to pull it off. I knew he’d turn into a leafy figure, but the elegance (for lack of a better word) with which you did it was excellent. Having him standing sentinel for the next 200 years as he was gradually joined with other students who obviously shared his curiosity to form a ‘a leafy army of silent soldiers’ couldn’t have been any better!
Bravo!
This reminds me of Stephen King’s The Shining where little Danny goes out in front of the motel and watches as the topiary beasts come to life. It also has the flavor of Harry Potter with the magic.
One niggle, one comment:
‘...so much excitement(,) he couldn’t keep his hands’ (don’t need that)
‘Even a few fish had disappeared from their bowls.’ *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Jennifer! PLEASE! I hope to see more of you entries in "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window., and have a fiendishly fantastic day! *Smirk2*

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, xyz_and_abc.
This isn’t bad, but it feels incomplete. I know you only had 300 words to use (you still had 49 left), but the reader doesn’t have enough information. About all we know is the father and uncle had a physical confrontation where Curio got the worst of it, but other than it being about money, that’s all we have. It obviously wasn’t a ‘happily ever after’ ending since they conversed in ‘silent stares’, and you did a nice job with the prompt phrase, but I just think there should have been more ‘meat’ (substance) to it, if you know what I mean.
Please don’t take this as criticism of you or the story; I’m only trying to help. This is simply my humble opinion, for what that’s worth!
Hint: I used to enter this story a lot back in the day, and I even won a few times. Something you might want to know about it is that Arakun the twisted raccoon really loves surprise/twisted endings, so you might want to consider that the next time you enter.
Kee ponw riting, xyz_and_abc! Thanks for sharing this, and have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Story  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Greetings, Ryley (not your real name, btw *Laugh*)!
I don't write fantasy, but I've read enough of it to know that one major advantage the writer has is the limitless use of his/her imagination, which leaves the possibilities endless! The same thing with science fiction (which is kind of weird because some of the things they 'imagined' in Star Trek have actually been developed! *Shock2*).
I don't see any reason NOT to go with this, even though you didn't give us too much information. But I wonder if you're going to be a 'pantser' (one who writes without a plan), or are you going to make an outline? It doesn't really matter, as long as it works for you. Some famous writers are pantsers, some make an outline.
But you have to start, and that means writing that first sentence!
On a side note, I see that you're only 19. I hope you're serious about writing, and I only wish I'd been more serious about my writing when I was your age! I was always told I should write a book, but I didn't get serious about it until I joined this site about 8 years ago. I'm still banging my head against a wall *Headbang* for all those wasted years!
So in conclusion, I say GO FOR IT! There's no time like the present, and just writing a few words every day will add up a lot quicker than you know! I'm currently trying to write a book, and being the turtle that I am, I know that slow and steady will win the race!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (as much as you like to read), then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Life is Dukkha.  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Buenos dias, Xarthin!
For your very first contest entry, I thought this was pretty good, and congratulations on winning 3rd place with it!
I'm so glad you explained what 'dukkha' is, and this story is a the real meaning of it. I can understand why Hat would initially be angry with her mother, and maybe she should be. Whether or not she lost her daughter to the big city, she still should have been more encouraging instead of telling her she couldn't do it!
But alas, I guess the heart always wins over in the end...
Nice job, Xarthin. It was easy to follow, and the spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!)
'feeling her nails carve the plastic screen' (Dang! She must've been pretty darn angry!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic day/evening!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Greetings, Solitary!
This is a nice tribute to a chicken you obviously liked a lot, provided this is a true story), and I like the way you told it. Your descriptions of Black Ayam were great, and even though he probably could never match up to True Blue, he still 'tried his luck' with the ladies when he had a chance.
But now with True Blue gone, it looks like he's going to be the cock of the walk, so to speak, which is likely why he's crowing up a storm!
Can't say I've ever read a tribute to a chicken before, but like I said, you did a good job with it.
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
'...caught out in the cold loosing toes ' (losing)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Solitary! It was a pleasure to read, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi there, Turtlemoon (Susan?), and happy 13th (wow!) 'birthday' on here!
I like this! It makes me think of how many things I should have written down during some the things I experienced in my life. But as a teacher? Yes, I'm sure you could have volumes of teenage antics you witnessed!
You did a nice job of giving us a few examples. I'll bet there's a few of those students you'll never forget, too! Hey, when I was in school I made it a point to be remembered, whether it was for better of worse. And it was most likely for the latter! *Bigsmile*
But like you said, at least you have that one lasting Kodak moment! And you'll always have the memories!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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