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Review Requests: OFF
672 Public Reviews Given
673 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest, for the most part. Not hurtful, for the most part. In other words I'll try to be straight up but not step on you face while I'm about it. Oh, by the way, this points business confuses me. I don't want to charge for a review. If I have the points in the bank I'll refund you 900. Why I'm required to ask 1000 is past my understanding.
I'm good at...
Not much. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, most of the mechanical stuff. Good eye for composition. I read a lot and I can give you a reader's opinion. Most good reviews are a fresh eye.
Favorite Genres
western, sci fi , detective, general or literary fiction
Least Favorite Genres
erotica
Favorite Item Types
what, pray tell, is an "item type"?
Least Favorite Item Types
See above
I will not review...
stories about kangaroos
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 ... Next
226
226
Review of nine 21 sentry  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (2.0)
I want some of what he's smoking.


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227
227
Review of The Road Trap  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am visualizing those iconic Greek masks representing comedy and tragedy, small distance between the two don't you think? The piece was not completely comic or horrifically tragic. As a certified , bonded and petrified critic of the works of others, I must ask for more punch lines to make the jokes punchier. I do think you have a lot of grist for future milling here and thank you for sharing it.
dc


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228
228
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.5)
While not particularly religious, I do have a keen appreciation for evangelism. For years I would search the radio dial for good examples. Most of them I found a delight to the ear if not always a companion of logic. I consoled myself with the fact that religion need not be logical to be helpful. It is nice to run across a writing that is.

Oh, yes in my radio travels I visited: Billy Graham. Oral Roberts, Garner Ted Armstrong and many others; my all time favorites were J. Basil and Mrs. Mull.

Thanks for sharing.
dc


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229
229
Review of Sea-Smoothed Rock  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Why that was so pretty it was poetic. Or so pretty as to be poetic, but you get the idea. It was likeable and well written. thanks for sharing it. So much poetry I see here reeks of self indulgence. this poem was free spirited and candid. thank you for sharing.
dc


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230
230
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have now solved for all time the mystery of the missing sock. Now if I can find a way to open the parallel universe at will I will sent my odd socks over so someone on the other side can profit. I am not the sort to hold a grudge and better someone, somewhere, benefit if it cannot be me.


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231
231
Review of Silently killing  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (1.0)
You asked me to elaborate about proofreading.

The silence is killing me. My love for you is breaking me. It feels like the light betrayed me. You were supposed to cast the darkness away. Your departure from my life; ensuring it's presence in my life be eternal.

Your piece thus begins tediously with three simple sentences (before continuing with a fourth). The third is an incomplete sentence with a confused and incomprehensible meaning.


You didn't know you were the last ray of light in the otherwise encompassing darkness. I wonder, would you of still left knowing you were the peace I was aimlessly searching for.

A question ends with (?) not(.). “Have” left” not “of” left.

were the last connection left untainted;ending abruptly in silence.

This is not a sentence for the following reasons: No beginning capitalization, no subject (noun) and a semicolon used in place of a comma or dash.


This predicament creating a long phase of pondering;it has yet to end,making for long restless day's and nights.

Days not day’s. One space after a comma or semicolon. The tense has changed for this sentence from past to present for no reason.


Longing to embrace or let you go. I was so ceartain I would show you my fury should my eye's gaze upon you once more.

Incomplete sentence. Misspelling in second sentence.



Yet tonight I weep over What's been lost

“What’s” should begin in lower case.

The last one that didn't break my heart and you ran away as fast as you could in the opposite direction.

One, refers to who or what? Unclear.



If I'm such a good person as a lot exclaim,why am I forced to watch everything fall apart then float away? Why do I suffer every day;every moment my eye's are open!

Misuse of comma, semicolon, and apostrophe.


Why did she turn her back on me!

Question takes (?).


And so on....


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232
232
Review of Silently killing  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (1.5)
The writer needs a serious proofreading of this piece.
dc


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233
233
Review of Crossroads  
Review by Dee C
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

The symbols we use are consistent with our culture. Crossroads, the concept, has always been interesting. The physical manifestation of a spiritual or psychological dilemma make for great symbolic poetry. You used this device well in your poem. I still see our speaker standing in the dust of a real crossroads looking each way.

thanks for sharing.
dc


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234
234
Review of Bare Hand  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (5.0)
So well done. I thought this writing was for lack of a better word, exquisite. ( I would have to invent a better word.) The characters are intimately drawn in the fewest possible words, the reader closely involved without any intrusion from the writer because the writer is completely invisible to the reader. This story is born like Topsey without parentage. It simply occurs in the head of the reader.

Thanks for posting such a good example for other aspiring writers.
dc


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235
235
Review of Last to Know  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (2.5)
I hate it when that happens. It's like meeting the perfect soul mate and through that old debbil' procrastination dilly dallying around until the ink fades on the number.


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236
236
Review by Dee C
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
To cool for school. I'll search the internet high and low to see what you have seen.. I expect I'll start with the low search and work up. Wish me luck.
dc


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237
237
Review of Lake Erie Feud  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (2.5)
Rockin and rollin rhyming, but the rhythm ain't right. Get the beat on and look for a gold record in record time.
dc


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238
238
Review of I Wish  
Review by Dee C
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
But, if you only had one wish....?
dc


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239
239
Review of His eyes  
Review by Dee C
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ah, to find that perfect lover with baby blue eyes and plated feet.
dc


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240
240
Review of Ways of life  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (5.0)
I despaired because I had no shoes until I met a kangaroo who had no bicycle.
dc


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241
241
Review of My Plea  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well done. I had never heard of a Cornish sonnet. Now I have.
Thanks
dc


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242
242
Review by Dee C
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I recall the Sixteenth St Baptist Church bombing vividly. Sad times. There are those who have no real feeling for the fellowship of humanity. Theirs is the really sad life.
dc


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243
243
Review of I asked God  
Review by Dee C
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
As a youth I prayed earnestly, for a pony. God didn't answer me. I think it was because he was too polite to call me a sap.
dc


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244
244
Review of Sportsquake  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (3.5)
That was funny, in a macabre sort of way.
dc


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245
245
Review by Dee C
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Would, could, should all head slappers- words that imply a regret at that missed zinger of opportunity. But did you know there is a real expression that covers this situation? It is from the people who gave us deja vu and the French fry.

Copied here from our friends at Wikipedia:
L'esprit de l'escalier or l'esprit d'escalier ("staircase wit") is a French term used in English for the predicament of thinking of the perfect reply too late. This name for the phenomenon comes from French encyclopedist and philosopher Denis Diderot's description of such a situation in his Paradoxe sur le comédien.

So now we still don't have the zinger in our quiver when we need it, but we do know what to call it.
DC


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246
246
Review of Christmas Mixup  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
A sweet story with a satisfying ending, thanks to the sympathetic character the writer created in the wise aunt. the character of the narrator is well drawn also and the reader feels the same stress that he or she feels. It might have been a good idea to let the aunt name the narrator and also name the aunt, but it works well enough as it is.

Thanks for sharing.
dc


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247
247
Review of Christmas Acronym  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.5)
Bringing mistletoe to the nudist reunion
Another mug of strongly spiked eggnog
Home in time for the four AM milking

Holiday Sales
Urgent reminders to pay for holiday sales
Many happy tax returns still unfiled
Bring more eggnog
Universal Fits All Gifts that aren't and don't
Gee, don't you wish Christmas was every day?
248
248
Review of The Invitation  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (5.0)
Had the whiff of seduction right up until the "even when times are rough " line. So, I guess one thing led to another and we are now happily married or very nearly so.

Best wishes
dc


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249
249
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and thank you for posting this interesting contest. I am new here and it takes me a while to catch on to the workings of this forum. I want to know if I am eligible for this contest. If this is the wrong place to ask perhaps you can refer me to the proper place.
Thank You, Delmar Cooper.
250
250
Review of Jessica Strong  
Review by Dee C
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
The first thing you need to do is re-write the opening sentence so that subject and verb agree in number. "A hundred bullet is" won't work. "A hundred bullets are..." will work.

Fix that and re-write your introduction into complete intelligible sentences and get back to me.

Delmar Cooper

PS If you send me points I will send them right back. Don't bother.


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