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Review Requests: OFF
672 Public Reviews Given
673 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest, for the most part. Not hurtful, for the most part. In other words I'll try to be straight up but not step on you face while I'm about it. Oh, by the way, this points business confuses me. I don't want to charge for a review. If I have the points in the bank I'll refund you 900. Why I'm required to ask 1000 is past my understanding.
I'm good at...
Not much. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, most of the mechanical stuff. Good eye for composition. I read a lot and I can give you a reader's opinion. Most good reviews are a fresh eye.
Favorite Genres
western, sci fi , detective, general or literary fiction
Least Favorite Genres
erotica
Favorite Item Types
what, pray tell, is an "item type"?
Least Favorite Item Types
See above
I will not review...
stories about kangaroos
Public Reviews
Previous ... 7 8 9 10 -11- 12 13 ... Next
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I was rocking and rolling with the reading up until the paragraph that began in italics:-To his certain knowledge. My eyes glazed over for a while at the large amount of information I was required to ingest. It wasn't really that much so it was probably just formatting. I think the same words with a paragraph break at "He held his eyes steadily on ..."
Would get the beam out of my eye and keep the flow flowing. Just a thought.

The presentation of the facts of the case are clear and have a good even rate and flow. Thanks for not doing what I see in so many fantastic yarns - front loading the story with prologue or introduction. I hate that. Tell your students, acolytes, and minions, Cooper hates that.

I guess your history in in order. I presume it to be so. I have no idea what Northumbria's political and geographic position was in 1066 relative to Wessex. I trust you do, cause everybody's an expert with Wikapedia.

All around? A good first chapter. I druther have had him emerging from the Tardis into a blood spilling melee, but that's just the romantic in me.

By the way, I could not access "The Eye."
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Review of Camp VR  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It took me a few minutes to figure out that RPGs weren't rocket propelled grenades but I worked it out.

A tale with a moral that incorporates the hero myth nicely. Campbell would be proud of you for writing this. I enjoyed the story despite my lack of game experience so something is working there.

Good dialogue, it seemed natural. There were a few swifties in the tag lines but for the most part the adverbs were handled well.

Thanks for sharing.
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jones thanks for your recent(five minutes ago) message. Sure I'll try this I just couldn't figure it out before. Probably still can't but here goes:

Once upon a time there was a _ravishing young virgin who was born into a rich and socially elite family ________________________. Everyday,_ she pined for a handsome virile young man who would relieve her of her tiresome burden____________________________. One day, a horse broke down in front of her parent's villa. the rider was a traveling knight busyly recruiting _virgins for the king's annual dragon feeding. He at once saw the damsel as valuable asset , a solution to filling his quota. He begged the young woman's father for a bed for the knight until his horse could be repaired. The father, suspecting the knight of less than honorable intentions had his game keeper make a pallet of straw for the knight's night in the barn.__During the night the ravishing young virgin crept on satin slippers, past the sleeping game keeper into the barn. The R.Y.V. took a firm hold of the sleeping knight's baldric and gently shook him awake. Weeping great wet tears she disclosed her pitiable condition and begged the knight that very night to relieve her of this burden. The knight fiercely resisted, he had, after all, a quota to meet, and truth be told he wasn't all that attracted to girls. The R.Y.V. knew she was doomed; that tomorrow when the horse mechanic repaired the knight's mare, she (the R.Y.V. not the mare) would be dragon fodder. She wept bitter and even wetter tears in her dread and anguish. _____________________. Because of that,_noisy weeping the game keeper awoke and was moved to comfort the R.Y.V. Upon hearing her tale he arrived at a solution. He kept arriving at the solution until the cock crowed, and crowed ,and crowed about five or six times. __________________________. Until finally,__the sun came too and the disappointed knight rode off on his hastily repaired mare. The game keeper was promoted and the ravished young girl was thus spared her visit to the dragon. The knight found consolation in the recruitment of a handsome young squire who wanted to see the world and gain those exciting new experiences he couldn't find in his straight laced hick town. Thus they all lived happily for the next nine months.__________________________.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I think you have the makings of a good novel. I like the character sketch and the set up for a plot. Granted, while I love the bricks later on I, like any reader, will want to see the connecting mortar and experience the action without being told about it in outline. That will come soon I prophesize cause an egg as good as this one hatches sooner rather than later.

I saw you name in the "Newbies" section so welcome, as a new one also I feel you pain.

Thanks for sharing.
dc


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of I.Hawkins  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear She Who Writes,

Good morning, Thanks for sharing your work. I am, that most valuable of commodities, an average reader of average perception and common misperception, that often makes me useful as a reviewer. Am I too modest in my modesty? Or maybe the opposite? The average reader does not read the first two to five pages of a book. This reader skips all the information about, publisher, copyright, dedication, typeface used and introductions and prologues. Sad, but true, I know I do, and I've already established my credentials for averageness. We average readers go right to the page marked Chapter One and hunt for the first line, "It was a dark and stormy night..."

The intro is probably inserted for the benefit of the members of this forum. Bad idea, this reader thinks. This reader believes a piece should appear as the writer would place it before and editor. No, I don't believe editors relish introductions and prologues either. Editors may ask for a prologue or suggest an introduction, but this is just editorial hubris and prerogative, let them have it if you ask me.

Your tale begins with a delightful immediacy, your verb tenses have a whiff of the passive voice to them, and you might review that at leisure, or not. Although not as severe as "It was a dark and stormy, etc." The tale does begin with the weather, ah me, so it goes.
The characters are quickly drawn and the reader gets to actually "see and hear" them un-channeled through the guts of a writer. This is wonderful to behold after reading ten stories in which the reader is fed pabulum by the erstwhile writer. Bless you and all your progeny.

I could go on for another acre of text but "She Who Must Be Obeyed" is summoning me to my duties.

Quickly before I go: father not gather (oops) and please for the sake of your soul omit all adverbs from your tag lines.

Thanks for sharing and reading (if you did) my blathering.
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Review of Angels  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Good Morning Hunter's Moon,

Love that name by the way. I am an avid read of the Old Farmer's Almanac and the names of the various moons are both useful and poetic, so good choice.

"Though hope has died, he still has pride which time cannot rescind"

Beautiful line with both interior and end rhyme. Perfect. However in context it does not ring true. The poem gives no evidence of pride or its companion hope. That's a shame. A poem that has an agenda, say take care of our own, or be generous and charitable to others, must be compelling. I was not compelled to action. Pity? Perhaps, but not action.

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Review of Vessel of Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I have heard about this form, it is better to see an example. I wonder if these are ever set to music, having such a nice repeating refrain-like line.
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Review of The Hunt  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Very informative. I had no idea the Burmese Python killed by injecting venom.
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Wonderful idea to let us all know about your work.
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very imaginative story and thanks for sharing it. Your spell checker missed the "bate" for "bait" spelling but otherwise the text looks clean and error free to me.
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
That could wring a tear from a stone.
Thanks for sharing
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Think you'll get any response to this contest?
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was a really good idea. And gracious as all get out to boot. You show me plenty.
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Gotta love a time travel story. A guy whose advice I respect told me once that if I was going to write fiction I should go ahead and get the time travel and deal with the devil stories out of my system early on. So, how's you devil story working out?
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is the type information a fiction writer relishes. Take a good report, add lies and embellishments, change a few names to protect the innocent or shield the guilty and presto a story. dc
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Review of "THY WILL"  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Way cool prayer. Don't see enough prayer in poetry anymore. My all time favorite poet isKing David. Now, that was a king.
Thanks for sharing.
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Review of The Catacombs  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That was well done. Particularly enjoyed the dialogue between two absolutely different personalities. I can see you put a lot of thought and effort into this piece, right down to using every word allowed. The word limit was 500, right?

Thanks for sharing.
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Review of Justice  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Pure justice, what a concept.
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Review of Coffee Infusion  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A good response to the prompt. Loved the way you skirted the "forbidden" words. At one point I wanted to scream in the faces of the prompter "COFFEE!."

Thanks for sharing.
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Review of Confused Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a good thing to find such expression of passionate love. It is also a good thing to remind the rest of us what it was like. Thank you for sharing this.
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
These were very pleasant to read. Really enjoyable, especially the first one. I'm still smiling.
Thanks
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed the double speak device you employed and thought it was very effective. A convenient way to let the reader enter the thoughts of the characters. thanks for sharing,
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
A well written call to humans, the top predators and despoilers of nature. I liked this line especially, "a snarling mass of mean". That was spot on.
thanks for writing and sharing.
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Light verse is not easy. You did a good job of this.
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Review of Honor  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thanks for sharing this poem so appropriate for the 100th anniversary of The Great War.
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