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Review Requests: OFF
672 Public Reviews Given
673 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest, for the most part. Not hurtful, for the most part. In other words I'll try to be straight up but not step on you face while I'm about it. Oh, by the way, this points business confuses me. I don't want to charge for a review. If I have the points in the bank I'll refund you 900. Why I'm required to ask 1000 is past my understanding.
I'm good at...
Not much. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, most of the mechanical stuff. Good eye for composition. I read a lot and I can give you a reader's opinion. Most good reviews are a fresh eye.
Favorite Genres
western, sci fi , detective, general or literary fiction
Least Favorite Genres
erotica
Favorite Item Types
what, pray tell, is an "item type"?
Least Favorite Item Types
See above
I will not review...
stories about kangaroos
Public Reviews
Previous ... 4 5 6 7 -8- 9 10 11 12 13 ... Next
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Review of The Realization  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have much higher expectations for the education of cats than I. In my experience cats teach us. While I appreciate it that a cat will bury its scat I know I will never teach the cat to change the litter. But the point is not cat. The point is writing and this cat poem is a good representation of your notions about cats.


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Review of Sweet Magpie  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I also like birds and the songs of birds. Do they rehearse far away form me that when I hear them I have their best effort? It must be so. They never falter. And no Prima Doña these singers, fancy dress is optional. The Brown Thrasher flopping around gracelessly in dungaree color is a different bird in the tree top. There she is Queen of the Night and sings for Pappageno, Pappagena, and for me.

Thanks for sharing.


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Review of Great First Lines  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins.” — Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
"All children , except one , grow up." J.M. Barrie Peter Pan
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth." Included in the Bible

So many great lines to open a great story; all of which have this in common; they intrigue or involve the reader in some way.


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179
Review of Moonlight And You  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thus grief is turned to joy by the glorious intercession of pure love. Refined desire is a counterfeit of that love, the purest love is of a mother for her child. Fathers can never duplicate the like, for theirs is only the rough ore of that golden treasure a mother bore.


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180
Review of A new dawn  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like a hopeful attitude. Really cool poem. Thanks for sharing.
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181
Review of Alien  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Got a nice beat and you can dance to it, I give it three stars Dave.
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Review of It's Monday  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Kurt Vonnegut wrote a story once called "Goodbye Blue Monday". the title, he alleged, came from the slogan of a washing machine company that made Monday a traditional wash day much easier. Maybe Mondays got a bad rap from stuff like that. Who knows?


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Review of Cleanse  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Liked the lock reference, thought that one was a pip. The proximity of the grass ripples in the breeze to the singing in the tress makes a vision of grassy trees that is unfortunate. there at the end it may be hard for some readers to stay with the idea that barking dogs and crying children are soothing.
DC


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184
Review of Elisa  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
"You're" is the contraction of "you are." First paragraph has a sentence fragment. Rooms aren't completely dark with lamp posts shining in. Lamps on lamppost shine, lamp posts
support lamps, street lamps solves the issue.

Also:

"as I stood n fair" " stains.she " "she was only wearing shoe" "and she had a psychotic"

Just needs a good proofing.


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185
Review of Gaystreaming  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Well Archie since you wrote this piece in 2014 a lot has happened. I guess the question now is "How do you like those apples?" Or alternatively, "So you thought things would get better, eh?"

On the bright side the LGBT has added Q and A to the inventory since those bleak old 2014 days. Now if we could, as Pat offers on Wheel of Fortune, buy a few more vowels we might actually turn alphabet soup into a word. Let's work on it for the next decade or so.


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Review of Strip Tease  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Lovely joke. I am still smiling. Hope you won the contest. It is very difficult to communicate in writing with only a hundred words in the tool kit. A poem or a joke will fit that guideline most of the time. Personally I vote joke. Everyone is starved for a good laugh.

Thanks
DC


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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Good idea,however,the writer screwed it all to pieces with inattention to logical order and a seriously wandering point of view, but who knows? Maybe they will write like this in the future. I hope not, but I'm the one that thought mini skirts would go on forever. Missed that call, drat.

I see the copyright on this is 2016 so we must have a decade or so to go before the ambidextrous point of view comes into vogue.

Dc


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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Decent prayer I'd say. Was that the writer's intent, to write a poetic prayer? The next King David, right? Or was it the writer's intent to write a poem, prayerful in nature, observant of the Judeo-Christian culture, but still a poem? Either is fine by me.

One itty bitty nitty point, the giving of a lump of coal kicked me entirely into Santa Claus mode and kicked me entirely out of prayer mode.
DC


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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Seems to me that for a fire there wasn't much heat. I don't say I'm disagreeing with the premise, yeah old people do the love thing in a different nostalgic sort of way from the young'uns, but this piece advertises itself as poetry, not sociology 101.

DC


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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
"Bring me the head of Santa the Claus!" Amazing poem, not amazed by the writing, just the bloody idea. You meant it so, did you not? Of course you did, naughty child. Bet you got coal or ashes last Tuesday? Right? You bet I'm right.

As to the poem, the rhyme is sweet but the beat hopscotches a wee tinsy bit. Oh, bet you meant "reins" although the "reigns" is nicely Freudian.

Good bizarre writing
DC


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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
An interesting story. The dialogue was stilted and needs to be punched up a bit until it does justice to a fine story. The word limit, if there was one, may be the culprit. The dialogue seemed rushed as if it had to be gotten out of the way to get on with the action.

DC


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Review of Energy Crisis  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Well that was weird. I lost count of all the movies tropes but The Postman figured large. Did you meant to put in all the misspellings. some were pretty funny so if you just can't spell don't worry it all worked out. All in all it was a real riot.
DC


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Review of Painting  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was a cute story and I'll bet it wasn't cribbed from a Wilson cartoon. It would be amusing for some clever writer to start a contest for cartoonless captions. The reader would (in a perfect entry) be compelled to visualize the cartoon from the caption the contestant supplied.

"On second thought maybe a giant chicken eating frog is not the right animal to bio-engineer."
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Review of Big Puzzle  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Interesting, I'll bet that is delicious with Ranch Dressing.
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Review of Scratch Away  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Be honest, encouraging and respectful..." Hello Keaton. I copied that blurb that always appears at the top of the page because it seems like a bushel of equine by- product. I fail to see how honesty and encouragement are conjoined twins. Respectful? Maybe I'm missing something?

All that aside, what about your poem? I like everything about this piece except its shape. What is it with you and the balusters? Some kind of Freudian thing? The sense and context of your writing are excellent and entertaining. Excellence and entertainment are absolutely not conjoined twins. Sometimes I think they are orphans.

I appreciate the mental vigor you put into this thing and want to be honest and encouraging. That other thing just ain't in me, but I'm working on it.
DC


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Review of Foolish and Old  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Boy, old Harry sounds a lot like me, just jumpin outta windows hoping for a Hollywood awning to catch him and give one big bounce into the windshield of the taxicab carrying his ex-wife down the street to meet her latest flame and then what happens... well you tell me. you got me into this situation.


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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked it. Greed is a powerful motivator - one of the best. But adventure? Adventure beats all. We can say we are in it for the money. We aren't. The people who made money during the California gold rush were the wagon makers and shovel sellers. Most of the prospectors went bust, but the stories, the golden stories, are about the risk takers and dare devils. Your piece went to the place that adventurer would go.

Thanks for taking me along.
DC


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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
My sister worked as a receptionist/secretary in the same building as I did, so I saw her often. I noticed one day her pencil eraser was worn out. Being a wise acre I asker her "What can I say about a secretary who wears out her eraser before she wears out her pencil?" She didn't think a whole minute, before retorting, "She catches her mistakes." She was right. It isn't a mistake if you catch it.
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Review of Free will  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Delia,
I received an email today inviting me to review this piece of writing. I have read it and find no flaws in either the mechanical aspects of writing or the logical presentation of your assertions. I think most people nowadays hold that they have free will. The people I know think they at least have a choice. It seems to me that if, and I may be wrong, people are already convinced that free will exists and they have it, then you are preaching to the choir. By that I mean presenting to a group whose reaction is "yes, of course."

If you want to expand into how to beat peer pressure, how to not follow blindly, how to be your own man or woman; that piece of writing would be more useful and interesting.

Personally when I read a tract, and this is a religious tract, and see instruction from someone just as human as I that informs me what (capital H) He wants, I'd like to get some authority for that instruction. I'll bet you have the instruction book there with you. Cite your authority and your assertions will carry more weight.

Thanks for asking me to read and comment.

Delmar Cooper


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Review of Sarcasm for all  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This one defines bitterness. I like the title but I would have liked "With Sarcasm for All" better. Has a ring to it. I'd like to meet the face to face liar. I think that would be an interesting character to write about. Maybe, maybe not. I think a writer as good as you could make it so. Maybe. Maybe not.

Thanks for sharing.
Delmar Cooper


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