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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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451
Review of Pas de Deux  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: I thought your plot had much potential,this could be quite a captivating piece with a little editing work.I liked your opening line, it really inspired my interest, but I felt the story needed more detail, who are they? What causes the character to grieve?
COMMENTS/SUGGESTIONS: I found your use of the brackets very confusing, you seemed almost to be writing from two seperate plot ideas? Perhaps, in the first lines, you could remove the bracket and add clarity and better flow by changing the opening line to something like: 'I can almost see them dancing althoughfrom my fall off the tower.' Then perhaps the character/narrator could shift attention to or describe who he'd wished had grown her hair back and why, perhaps as inner dialoge rather then in brackets? They really seemed to lose the focus and flow of the story for me. A transition paragraph or line about a ball ocurring and then giving the reason for it would flesh out your story, details of whom 'he' is would helpand create another character for interaction. Pretty much the same thoughts for the rest of the piece, more description of the Duchess, a bit more explanation on how the character tried to provide a normal life for one generation, how other generations were abnormal maybe? You have the promise of an excellent Fantasy tale here,I'd enjoy reading it again after you edit it. Great ideas and interesting characters. Keep Writing!SM Ferguson
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Review of They Wait  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A very astute view of life in a Retirement Home.I liked the fast pacing of this Story achieved by short paragraphs filled with detail and action.It added depth to the urgency the Ladies felt while waiting for visitors that never arrive.Dialogue was realistic, catching reader interest both by the conversation and the ladie's intent interest each time a car slows out front. The dialogue also provides excellent insight into both the personalities of the characters as well as the limited scope of thier world. This story contains a poignant message to how 'society' tends to 'hide away' and isolate the elderly rather then take time to listen and learn from thier experiences. I enjoyed the light, humourous tone used to convey a powerful feel of the combined loneliness and never-ending hope of the elderly that one day, thier children will not be too busy to spare them some time. Your ending sums this story up with both flair and emotion. I found no grammer, spelling or punctuation errors, if they were there, the powerful draw of the story far over-shadowed them. Well Done! SM Ferguson
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453
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed the history of Marie Laveau and her daughter, it added a great depth for getting a feel for the lyrics.Your choice of music was perfect, especially the deep toned drum beats.Goes with the subject matter perfectly.[A Few good guitar slides like T-Rex was famous for could add a hint of mysticism as well] Tittle is great and would be eye catching on a CD list. Lyrics flow seamlessly- each verse leads perfectly to the next, weaving the story around the reader. Words are powerful, clear and simple. People could easily memorize and sing along as well as have them haunt the subconscious-always great for a replay *Bigsmile* If you enjoy lyrics that tell a story, give this one a read- you'll be glad you did ! SM Ferguson
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454
Review of A Day To Remember  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Humour sparkles out from your poem," A Day To Remember", that combined with the effects of aging on mind and body viewed in the same half-humourous, half serious way it's presented, serves to give one insight into the importance of remembering and the joy of experiencing love at any age.
FAVORITE LINE: 'My bones creak and my mind grows colder'.
SUGGESTIONS:I found the use of all capitals a bit distracting, but it did emphasize the points of the poem. You might want to just capitilize the first word in each verse and then use writingML to put the whole poem in bold or perhaps also put some lines in italics to emphasize and make lines stand out - the end of the last line in particular to emphasize the joking intention. I noticed one typo- you put SHELL, I think you meant SHE'LL ?
This was a great and fun read I highly recommend to anyone.I really enjoyed this poem. Great Work!
SM Ferguson
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455
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: produces strong feelings of despair tempered by undertones of hope and a desire to move foreward a stronger person. Very nice rythm to these Lyrics, with a ballad type presentation. I liked the use of the images of water cleansing body and soul-creates a strong message of inner renewal.
FAVORITE LINES:"She stands in the shower- Tears running down her face", "Through the distance and time- She always kept the faith"
LINES FELT NEEDED WORK: Verse [A] One; 'The pain feel inside', rythm is off here- perhaps you meant 'felt' instead of 'feel'?
Verse [B]; I felt the word 'stronger' would have more impact then just 'strong'- smoothes out the rythm. The comma might work better after 'again'
[A] Third Verse; First two lines sound off- I felt they might work smoother as something like;
'The water washes her body
'As she tries to cleanse her soul'
spelling error- 'bare' should be 'bear' in this context.
OVERALL; A powerful, moving set of lyrics with an excellent message.I enjoyed this piece and feel with a bit more polishing, you'd have an outstanding set of lyrics here.Good Work! SM Ferguson
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456
Review of Blood on my Hands  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A Poem rich with emotion and feeling. It holds a very broad message to ponder over. This piece invoked feelings of sadness, lost innocence and the loss of the soldier's, a part of himself.
Poem has a nice, easy rythm to it, allowing the reader time to reflect on it's message. I did note one spelling error or typo in verse one, last line,, I believe you meant the word 'wost' to be 'worst'?
A very nice job. Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
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457
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Your short story, "The Smallest Rebellion", hits all the right buttoms. Great building of suspense and a feeling of anticipation in the reader all through this piece.Jimmy is a fully fleshed out character who just jumps off the page. Background details are well done, one gets a feeling of being there yet they are subtle enough to lead the reader's mind into many possible scenarios before the ending- I pictured two, computer techs revolting after a merger and a counselling/support group revolting over unfair treatment. *Smile* You got me, I laughed until I cried at the ending.Great Job! If anyone needs cheering for any reason - this story is a must read ! SM Ferguson
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458
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your questions were well thought out and interesting.I liked the option to view the correct answers after taking the quiz as well, a very nice touch there. Favorite question was 'which of these is not written by Stephen King', least favorite was about the name of the son in Cell- I felt a change of question from naming characters would add interest. *Smile* The only thing missing here I'd have liked to have seen as a slight change of pace were a question on some of his earlier novels, example, what was Stephen King's first novel. Again, that is just my quirky and humble opinion. I would recommend this to all King's fans. Well Done. SM Ferguson
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459
Rated: E | (2.5)
Your poem holds within it a deep sense of inner loneliness and confusion. The idea being expressed here intrigued me. You might want to try breaking the long lines down into shorter ones so the piece flows with better rythm, Example:
"When I cry I cry alone" [ begin new line] Also your second line I felt was confusing, what do you mean by 'mom alone', I assume you refer to being a mother, but the line as it is doesn't make sense to me, perhaps something like 'When I am mom, I stand/work alone? I liked the line 'When I die I am reborn', but the line, 'When I fight for the greater good seemed to have no relevance here, maybe add a line before or after as a type of explanation intro to this feeling?
'When live am sworn too defend too the bitter end', first, the too in this line should be with one 'o' as to. Again this line is out of context, defend what, to the bitter end of life or the battle? Your second verse seems a little redundant as it simply repeats the first. Perhaps you'd want to change a few words here to reinforce your idea but from a slightly different perspective, maybe the battle is finally won, maybe it continues in a different way? Your imagery in this piece is good and I think with a little work it can be a really good piece. Keep Writing! SM Ferguson
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460
Review of The Sonnet  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An amusing and informative little sonnet, First line explains 'There's only fourteen lines in a sonnet", this is good for one studying to write sonnets, then the piece goes on to describe just how hard it can be to achieve those fourteen lines and the sheer determination of a writer to ' get it done no matter how long it takes as well as his emotional state while doing so.' A very nice look into a writer's mind and world. Favorite Line:" If the bug hits you, you will know it's true". I enjoyed the humouros spirit and imagery created in this entire piece. The ending is a perfect summation as you know the writer is going to be up writing of sailors or love in the very near future and you cannot wait to read of those efforts.
Wonderful read and I couldn't find one thing I'd change, I did notice what I felt was a spelling error in line 12, did you intentionally use the spelling 'repitwar' ? Or did you mean ' repitoire'? It is perhaps my newness to this type of poetry that caused the confusion for me here.
Keep Creating ! SM Ferguson
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Review of Memories Unmade  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
The excerpt from your upcoming novella 'Yellow Bandana', is so full of plot possibilities, absolutely fascinating, I look forward to see where you take this piece. I especially enjoyed 'the trees know it all', and 'It's because thier perception of time isn't continous.' Now that raises interesting possibilities for readers.Completely opens up the imagination. I loved the easy flow of this piece, characters are likeable, dialogue believable and paces the story well. Held my interest from opening line to where you went on to the poem. 'Unmade Memories', is a very enjoyable read and fits nicely with your novella. Wonderful use of imagery to bring up the possibilities of timelines and alternate realities. Speaks of questions in quantum physics. Overall mood is one of wonder mixed with regret, leaves the reader contemplating it long after they finish reading. The only part I didn't like were the two lines at the end where the Bloom speaks, I think it just needs some punctuation to break it up, I found I needed to read it a couple times to catch the flow again. I am looking forward to coming back and reading this piece as you get more posted, a most refreshing and contemplating read. Great start to what should be a wonderfully compelling novella. I'd be delighted to return and re-evaluate my rating once it is more complete. Keep Writing!
SM Ferguson
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462
Review of My soul's calling  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved the depth of emotion and imagery in this poem. It resonates with the cry od a need for a spiritual outlet. Each stanza flows well into the next, keeping the reader interested as well as emotionally engaged. My only two suggestions here would be an edit of Line 2- stanza one, it is a touch out of context with the rest of the piece- I understand the thought behind it, but the wording makes it murky. the part ' yet is so intact' might be edited to something like, 'yet does not feel intact', would get point across clearer. The parts of this piece I especially liked were the lines about thoughts being trapped in the head and the spirit's energy needing to flow. Also the last stanza's from, 'I see the beauty in people around' and continuing to the end of the piece were all full of great emotional impact and give marvelous insight into so many of our lives where we know change is needed, understand how we need to create the change in our lives but just keep putting the process in action until a later that never comes. A beautiful motivation for following the teachings to turn thought into action. Your work shines with talent and I truly will enjoy reading more of your work. You are a wonderful addition to this site! Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
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463
Review of Letter to a Ghost  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really liked the emotional impact of this piece overall. In first verse, I would change 'I'll' to 'cannot' or I will',to smooth this area out.Also, in the second verse, I think you have a typing error, ''your gone to me forever..' did you mean 'gone from me forever'? Things I really liked about this piece were the lines,' It's so cold up in the north.. and to me your just a ghost.' good symbology there. Third verse is also full of great imagery. Your chorus is perfect, speaks of the confused, battered emotional state of those left behind in a relationship.
Things I liked least were, verse 6- could sound better as ' tears swelling in my eyes' and in main verse 2- the line about 'worms', although it works, loses the ambiance of the lyrics, is there a word that could hold a similar idea, but is not quite so jarring to rest of lyrics? Short verse 3- 'so do you', again loses impact. I would enjoy hearing this to music, perhaps you could add an Author's Note as to the type of music/ beat you envision this piece as to help reviewers feel the lyric more? Great Work, Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
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464
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
An excellent guideline for all authors who want good, honest reviews of thier work. I particularly agreed with the points about whining and attacking the people who review your work, it is always nice to be thanked for trying to provide helpful feedback for other authors. It is also nice when they return the favor.
Your advise on leaving space between each paragraph is particularly helpful as not all people know they should do this. I personally had simply never thought of doing this until it was helpfully pointed out in a contest entry. Great advise for newbies here. All together a well thought out and well presented help topic for anyone wanting to be read. Thank you for taking time to write this piece. SM Ferguson
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Review of Please Don't Cry  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
The opening lines are short and crisp, they spark rapport in the reader and draw them in. Excellent hook and strong storyline. Characters are believable and well detailed. Good build-up of suspense. Ending was sad and a bit of a surprise. Good use of emotion and inner struggle there. Just a note on a couple of typos- in first paragraph, 'tares me up" should be 'tears me up', also correct spelling of I'am ' again. Use either 'I'm' or full 'I am'. One line spoiled your flow a little, ' 'I think I was going to stay home today..' could be shortened to maybe,'I think I'll stay home today'. Story is confusing where Vanessa appears in his room.. do they all share living quarters? Did he dream her? Clarify this for reader to continue original flow. Spelling error again, 'know one would care' should be 'no one would care' Again a nicely done story, you have great potential, I enjoyed this story very much. SM Ferguson
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466
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good plot, story is well crafted, I could feel the emotional confusion and sense of loss tempered with hope. Just a couple of small points on spelling, typos.. you keep using "I'am", should be either "I'm "or "I am". In opening paragraphs, one line needs edit- "Sometimes it feels like it was long ago though.."- did you mean it felt long ago or not so long ago? The way it's written previously I rather think you meant not so long ago? I would suggest dropping the word "though" and not using it so often so close together, it breaks flow and concentration. This is a great beginning to a wonderful tale, great background detail, feel for the character and the general storyline flows smoothly. I look forward to reading the rest, Great work ! Please send me an email when you've finished this one, I'd enjoy reading the rest! Keep Writing!
SM Ferguson
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Review of The Dream Machine  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story, The Dream Machine, caught and held my interest from the opening line through to the end. Excellent use of background imagery, dialogue and perfectly well rounded, living characters make the reader feel they are living this story right along with Chancy. I especially enjoyed how you introduced the supernatural aspects beginning with the lily pond and troll, leading up to Chancy's dreams. Use of the Model-T sets time and location flawlessly. The ending was a total surprise I never saw coming, I actually felt real loss at this ending. Both the plot and characters are perfectly crafted, no grammer or typing errors. A wonderful, eerie little tale I highly recommend to everyone! Wonderful work and I really liked your writing style, I cannot see one thing requiring change. SM Ferguson
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Review of Bumble Boy  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your Short Story, The Prodigy is excellent from start to finish, I saw no spelling or grammer errors. It drew me in instantly and kept my attention to the end. One feels an instant empathy with Jonathan, his father personifies all those who unwittingly damage thier children trying to relive thier lost youth. Wonderful use of background and memories to fill in family life and the depth of Jonathan's final despair. The ending is haunting and the story stays in memory long after one finishes reading. I'd definately recommend this to anyone. Keep Writing, your talent is wonderful.
SM Ferguson
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Review of Guardians  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A nice outline for what could be an interesting read. Your outline seems well thought out with the general timeline in mind. Characters are already well rounded, just need a bit of tweaking to breathe full life into them. Rachel, Dagan's old charge whom he is very protective of could add some excellent plot twists here as could Diego. I would definately come back to read this as you get it into chapters. Go for it !
Write On ! SM Ferguson
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470
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wonderful imagery in this poem!I also like the continued use of the line," When the moon fell.", keeps the reader focused and catches attention for each new verse. My only question here is, 'if the world is dark,' how can the moon be still shining? Nice uses of symbology in the theme as in your use of 'the moon falling' represents the end of time, the rising sun signalling the future. A very old theme in folklore- dawn and east- where sun rises meaning new beginnings. Your ending in relation to this poem also seems to symbolize a death/ rebirth theme. Very nice work and a lovely, thought provoking read. Keep Writing !! SM Ferguson
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Review of KIRA  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Prologue:ngood background details.One felt the area's poverty and the exhaustion of the two men, characters are well defined and rounded. Generates a good feeling of empathy with the abused child and the anger of Robert. The child seemed to respond really quickly considering how she was found- a bit surprising, but her character is well thought out. Dialogue was crisp and believable and caught the readers attention back nicely just when one felt the story was dragging. I enjoyed the prologue, but felt it a bit long.
Chapter ONE: Attention grabbing opening, focuses reader right back into story and further defines Robert's temperament. Dialogue keeps a good pace. Background detail is good, but is all the information important to the story? Spelling error in paragraph beginning ' It was late 1970', did you mean ' but the shouting rather then 'bar' - paragraph is a bit long and detail dense, creating confusion, who took holiday? Maybe clarify here? Condense into two shorter paragraphs to keep reader focused? Bridget could use a transition to introduce her, it is a very dramatic change between Robert's thinking and Bridget's actions- she is a bit out of character at times, wouldn't she be kinder to Robert to allay his suspicions? Again, I'd break paragraphs down into more then one, say, where Robert muses about Bridget, then begins cooking, then introduce dogs? [ Just an opinion] The writing itself here is very good and one comes to understand Robert's life and feelings well. The start to a very good novel ! I look forward to reading more, Isaw no obvious grammer mistakes and this was a very good read.
Keep Creating !SM Ferguson
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Review of Distractions  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your thoughts and concept are very good, but the spacing was confusing- is this poetry or short story? It sounds like the first draft of an excellent story. You might want to add a bit more information as to who she is showing these things too, whose view are welooking at the old woman from ? I enjoyed your use of imagery and background detail. Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
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473
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I liked your opening two lines- they remind me of my neighbors ! Good flow to your poem, thoughts flow into each other quite well, one could envision a young girl dreaming away a rainy evening. Carries an underlying feeling of loneliness, even regret at life's unfairness. No grammatical or typing errors I could see. Great job ! Write On,
SM Ferguson
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474
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Your tittle and intro on the plug page caught my interest right off. This piece is nicely crafted and flows well, I did get a touch confused as to whom was the point of view character in a couple places in the first and third paragraphs but it was easily cleared up in the following sentence and makes a reader really concentrate on each line- it works well, actually helps draw the reader into the story deeper, nicely done! Background details are exactly enough to set the time period and mood. Dialogue was crisp and moved the story along well. Uses of the crystals to hold and project the magic were believable as were the forbidden aspects of bindings vs healers.Characters were very strong and well rounded, one could mentally see the emotional struggles of each. I saw no grammatical nor typing errors. An excellent story, I look forward to more ! Well Done !
SM Ferguson
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475
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your story'Let's Play The Devil's game has a great, punchy opening paragraph, lots of description and emotions that conflict to make one want to keep reading. Intriguing description of the intern, it works very well, one can just picture his desperation to change Jeremy's mind. Excellent pacing all through the story. The only thing I could see wrong was a few typing errors where you need to correct a few words. Example in chapter four, you put 'towards his the Phoenix Cafe', you probably meant 'the'. Great use of character and plot description with a nice twist at the end although I felt the story hadn't quite resolved itself? I look forward to reading more of your work. Excellent job. SM Ferguson
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