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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dejavu/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/15
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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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Review of Divergence  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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An interesting and dramatic opening that sets both location and mood perfectly. Excellent use of phrase repitition to keep readers alert and focused on the story. Characters are well- rounded and believable.
I enjoyed the acute sense of drama and the unexpected plot twist you managed to create in such a short piece ! *Thumbsup* The use of the opening line in the story climax leaves readers completely satisfied, with all loose ends tied up. It also ensures the reader will remember the story long after they finish the read.
I would definately recommend this story to other readers who enjoy a spooky tale !
352
352
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I enjoyed the way each verse progressed smoothly into the next to take readers from a state of calm enjoyment to pulse-pounding drama in such a short piece. Very nicely done ! Your last two verses proved to be a great twist that made this piece truly shine.

The dramatic imagery in the words made me feel I was standing there on the shore cheering the young man on !
Grammer and punctuation were well done, I saw no mistakes.
An excellent read I feel fans of all types of fiction would enjoy !
353
353
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Clear and imaginative images fill this poem. Readers quickly get caught up in the emotional messages of pain, abondonment and hopelessness this poem portrays.
Verses flow smoothly into each other to create a story for the reader and the final verse leaves one with plenty of food for thought on how society treats the old, sick and homeless of this world.
A sobering reflection on how we treat strangers. I highly recommend you give this a read !
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354
Review of Dark Seasons  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Although I have not heard of this form of poetry previously, I did enjoy this piece. It paints vivid pictures for it's readers with well chosen words that open up the reader's imagination very well. The writing was sharp, concise and the cadence of the poem flowed very smoothly from verse to verse.
The only word I found ' jarred' the reader's concentration slightly was ' anew.' Perhaps you might want to give it a read out loud to see if you agree with my opinion.
Overall an enjoyable read with a well done twist in the final verse. *Thumbsup*
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355
Review of Your Poem  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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An interesting concept, more of a story then a poem. This piece definately gives readers a taste of a wide variety of images and emotions in an almost ' Fatal Attraction', kind of way. *Thumbsup*
Favorite Line: ' And I will read your poem.'
A poerfully written piece about how deep the feelings of love can truly go.
356
356
Review of Accused  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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A unigue opening paragraph that piqued my curiosity to keep me reading. I liked your use of repitition with the line about ' fog ', to enforce the reader's comprehension of the character's state of mind. Setting was well done, although a little more detail would have drawn readers deeper into the story location. Examples; was there background noise, smells, other inmates taunting him ?
Your story provides strong, vivid images of the character's actions, coupled with a strong, believable inner dialogue that let's it's readers feel they've witnessed his actions. His remorse is also well shown and helps pull readers into your story.
Your ending was satisfying in that it provided a glimpse of the character's possible future. I really felt you had enough plot in this story to flesh it out into a much longer piece, it would definately be an interesting read !
The only things I felt could be slightly improved here was a bit more information about the main character to spark reader empathy, is he young, his background, etc. >..
Overall, an interesting and thought provoking story I would definately recommend to others.
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357
Review of Her Tears  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I liked the note at the top of this poem, it sparks reader interest and opens the mind for the message. Nice touch.
A very serious and compelling poem, it definately makes readers think and reflect on thier relationships. I felt a full range of emotions etched into the imagery of the words, grief, despair, sorrow and hope that the message could save another woman who's suffering.
My only suggestion would be to try a comma between ' spared ' and ' hid'.
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358
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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It was very easy to imagine oneself in this lady's life and family. Readers can understand how she grew up, her values and her views on life. This is a person I'd love to spend time talking with.
The limerick itself was well phrased and touchingly humourous, it certainly held my attention all the way through.
I have no constructive advice to improve this piece as I thouroughly enjoyed it as it stands.
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359
Review of The Dark...  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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The first verse is very well planned and written. It's my favorite because of all the possibile things to follow.
Verse two could use a bit of polishing on lines one and two, line one seems to contradict the flow of the rest of the poem, maybe it needs an additional word ? I also felt the line; ' to get me a date,' might read smoother as to ' find a date' [ just my humble opinion]
Overall, a funny little read that left me laughing, your ending was a great touch !
360
360
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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A well put together and thought provoking piece on improving the quality of your writing style. The author uses a good mix of examples in her piece so the advice is easily understandable to even beginning writers.
I particularly liked the example of " The Sound And The Fury' by William Faulkner as this ' moral' question seems just as relavant to society today. I had not previously thought about adding a moral need to my characters make-up, however it makes sense. As this writer so eloquently writes, the most memorable works are ones that cause readers to think deeply about thier own moral value system.
I would highly recommend reading this piece to authors of any skill level as it is sure to give you a wealth of inspiration for your own writing, no matter what your genre.
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361
Review of Emily's Room  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A wonderful journey for all ages back into the world of childhood where all things are possible !
Dialogue and tags are crisp, realistic and move the story ahead in a warm, humourous manner. Ahhh, the secret room........ this brought back for me a lovely memory of my own ' hidden cave' in the depths of an ancient willow tree ! I found it extremely refreshing to read a tale so captivating with no bloodshed, violence or prejudices involved. *Thumbsup*
Give this one a read, you'll be glad you did so !
362
362
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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An interesting read of a personal experience that deeply touches it's writer. The descriptions used let readers feel a bit of the experience along with the writer and carry a great theme on the message that ' music is food for the soul.' I found this piece to be an enlightening and enjoyable read.
363
363
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Excellent flow and rythm grace this poem. I enjoyed the many varied and vivid descriptions of birds, trees and flowers. The poem is strong and powerful in theme and has an uplifting effect on it's readers.
I was a little confused at the capitilization of some beginning lines and not others, I did feel the ' a ' in the last line needed capitilization. I found the present form a bit distracting on my first read-through, however, as I do not feel qualified to judge each form of poetry correctly, I cannot comment constructively as to whether the capitilization issues need editing.
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364
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A very fitting poem for the photo that accompanies it. I liked the rythm and changing images in this piece, together they held my interest well. I also enjoyed the changing mood of the poem as it moved into the middle and end, very well done !
All together, I felt this was an uplifting and happy poem that could effectively lift one's spirits on a weary day.
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365
Review of Starting Over  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I am not familiar enough with this form of poetry to offer constructive advice - however I very much enjoyed the subject matter and philosophy of life portrayed in this piece. I felt the flow and rythm of the poem was smooth and the subject matter well thought out and well presented. An extremely enjoyable read for all ages.
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366
Review of Autumn  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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I appreciated the addition of an explanation of what a count down form of poetry entails.
The poem itself held my interest through it's clear images of a changing season. The writing is strong and tight throughout, with the correct form for this piece adhered to well. A touching and hauntingly vivid poem to read.
367
367
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very helpful article on a subject I myself have pondered many times. I particularlly appreciated the suggestion of donating to a reviewer's contest or charity and the one about sending a C-note. What a great way to brighten someone's day while showing appreciation for a job well done.
I felt that much thought and research went into this article on ways to reward good reviews with gps in various ways. I also felt the part about just sending a simple and heartfelt thank-you was an excellent suggestion, after all, everyone enjoys being reconized for a job well done.
I would highly recommend this article to everyone here at WDC, give it a read, it is a great inspiration for showing appreciation to reviews that you recieve.
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368
Review of Storm-story  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A strong and humourous opening. I can see this character clearly in my head. One very intense person ! You maintain pov well in this piece, there's no head hopping, we see and hear all the action and experiences through your pov characters eyes and thoughts.
I enjoyed the dramatic burst of action followed by the calm, rather reflective ending. A very entertaining read for such a short piece. It has a great flow to the story that manages to hold readers mezmerized and I'd love to see this character and her story fleshed out into a full length piece.
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Review of Special Delivery  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This story has a strong beginning and one gets a good idea of the main character's temperament and condition. The story has excellent detail that sets the mood and location for it's readers, one feels they are right there on the beach with the POV character.
The opening holds great promise of mystery and intrigue that has both taken place and is yet to come, the middle is interesting in it's detail. However, I found the ending didn't quite tie things together for me, but was actually a starting place for more conflict to arise, I definately feel this story would work well and be highly entertaining as a longer piece.
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370
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very well crafted story. The opening paragraphs capture readers imaginations with a few well chosen words and by the time you read the equally mezmerizing ending, you'll be intrigued. Suspense and mystery pepper this story all the way through.
It is filled with strong details of everchanging and spectacular scenery, vivid and strong characterization. The main character's personality vibrates with life and you'll want to accompany her on her journey. I was instantly drawn to this person.
The middle of this piece is as finely crafted as the beginning, no lagging interest will trouble you here ! As you read along with Sarah in Saffron's amazing shop, your imagination will soar with possibilities. Nicely done !
A wonderful tale of suspense and paranormal that will leave you begging for more.
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Review of The Invisible Man  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story starts with a wonderfully humourous look into the main character's life. From there, readers get an excellent look at how a child's perceptions and life experiences shape them into the adult they'll become. We also get a look at the importance of role models.
This story is rich in sensual details, touch, smell, sight, etc. and equally rich in it's emotional impact on the reader. The ending is a magnificent twist that brought tears to my eyes and will remain etched in my memory for a long time to come.
I highly recommend reading this story to anyone who is curious as to what ' makes a person who he is.'
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Review of Broken  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your main character is well crafted and four dimensional. Readers feel they could share a cup of coffee with this character, he is so easy to relate to. The plot of his broken bones chronicling major events and changes in his life is both fresh and entertaining.
Readers get a deep look into Mile's temperament right from the opening paragraph and you maintain the tension well throughout the story with each new mishap. I particularly liked your well played hook at the end of paragraph one !
The mood and atmosphere in this piece is constant throughout as readers wait to see what will happen next in this man's life. Your ending was done with a wonderful touch of humour that let the reader walk away laughing and wondering what lay in store next for poor Miles ! It was very satisfying and tied up the story ends perfectly.
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Review of The pain within  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This poem invokes a deep sense of hopelessness and melancholy in it's readers, one cannot help but empathize with the narrator. Your verses flow together well.
Your writing is strong and crisp, my only suggestions for improvement would be to capitilize the first letter in every word of the tittle and to add punctuation to two, I think two of the sentences could use commas to hold the style and rythm of the overall piece.
A very emotional and well thought out poem.
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Review of Solitude  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Your opening paragraph provides a great sense of location while building tension that hooked my interest immediately. I also enjoyed your use of short, descriptive paragraphs. They work very well to provide the reader maximum information without long, boring narratives. I felt this added immensely to this short stories charm and readability.
You provide a good sense of mood and atmosphere throughout this piece. Readers can relate and empathize with the POV character while using thier own imaginations to fill in blanks as to looks, age, etc. There is also an excellent use of internal dialogue that moves the story foreward.
The ending was both realistic and satisfying, tying up this short story in a most enjoyable manner.
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375
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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In general this poem had a smooth, readable flow to it. The subject was an unusual, but delightfully fresh topic for a humourous piece and worked quite well. It certainly held my attention, although I did get slightly confused about whom the narrator was talking to about ' inspecting' the predicament.
I did feel that Lines one and two in the last verse could use a bit of a polish, they read rather abruptly compared to the rest of the piece.
FAVORITE LINE;
" Be still my heart, or still you'll be" *Thumbsup*
FAVORITE VERSE: Hard choice, I have to choose One and Two with equal enthusiasum !
Overall, a delicious and macabre read !
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