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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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Review of Ancient Enemies  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I am reviewing your work that I found in the Simply Positive Review Forum. Please note that all comments and suggestions reflect the thoughts of one reader only. Use anything you find helpful and disregard the rest as it is meant only to provide you feedback on this specific item.

I particularly like your short, punchy tittle and interesting descriptive line. These sparked my interest immediately.
I enjoyed the symmetry of this acrostic poem. Your first verse is very enlightening as to reasons for why these animals seem to hate each other on sight. I felt your examples of the "cats" and " dogs" of Africa were particularly apt as most people have little trouble picturing the lions and hyenas of Africa and seeing something of them in thier household pets. I feel this is an important element in making the imagery in your poem come alive for readers.
When Iread your poem aloud, I felt the last line was less fluid than the rest of the poem. For me, the words, 'Now' and ' elsewhere' read a little jarring and out of sync with your earlier descriptions. The beginning and middle of your poem speak of comparing these types of animals worldwide from ancient times, but for me, the last line implies it still happens in only one specific location only. Is there another way you might be able to edit this line to keep in sync with the theme of from ancient to modern times worldwide?
Overall, an enjoyable and thought provoking read about animals many of us include in our daily lives and families.

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302
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, I am reviewing you Short Story as a student of the Rockin' Review Academy. Please note that ALL comments and suggestions are the opinions of one reader only and simply meant to provide feedback on this story. Use anything helpful and disregard the rest.

Your tittle is interesting, but I did feel it could be improved by using something a little shorter and more dramatic as one does use words during the course of a phone call.
I found your main character likeable and very believable. She is well thought out and I could picture her clearly. You did a very nice job of showing readers her emotions and reactions. I enjoyed the description of the creepy cell phone music, excellent way to raise tension. Your plot is quite intriquing.
I have a couple of suggestions that I feel would improve the flow and clarity of this story and give readers a better visual effect.
Paragraph One; try a period after cleaned. Begin a new sentence after with Margaret taking the cushions off the couch to clean. You also might want to clarify it was the vacum sucking up the food, it kind of reads like Margaret is doing this. I think this would greatly enhance the overall flow.
I'd change, ' it made her afraid, as if something ghostly was near.' to a similar statement, maybe using, ' although she could not explain why.' [ that way, it doesn't give away your story in the beginning.]
Your dialogue is clear and quite well done, although you might want to hint Margaret and her family really need this lottery money, it gives more credibility to why the father would need to call after twelve years to help with this.
Overall, an entertaining little story that could be truly creepy with just a slight bit of polishing!


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303
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest.Most importantantly, Keep Writing!


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; Tittle is interesting, however I felt your description, although catchy, gave away just a bit too much of your story.

CONTENTS; You have developed a very strong plot and storyline in such a short piece. I found the writing crisp and tight. The story flow is easy to follow and builds tension, conflict and resolution very well.

Characters, Dialogue: Your main character is authentic, likeable and well thought out. His inner dialogue is believable, moving your story foreward and giving us strong glimpses into the character's thoughts and personality.

IMAGERY; EMOTION; Strong, vivid imagery! I felt like I could hear the explosions and see the battle raging. I experienced a range of emotions in this piece, fear, hope and sadness for the character's poor opinion of himself.

SUGGESTIONS; I did note a couple of typos that need an edit.
'... illuminating a world of a world of rubble' [ delete second' of a world.']
" high pitched sirens drawing near...' [ I'd use 'drew' or similar word to replace the word 'drawing' here. maintains flow, less passive]

OVERALL THOUGHTS; A strong story that gives an excellent look at autism and how it could affect a child in a horrible, harsh time. I enjoyed the strong, tight writing and felt the ending tied up the story well. A very enjoyable, dramatic read.

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Review of Forgiveness  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed the repitition of the first verse, it cements how difficult the situation is to the narrator.
Imagery is both vivid and apt to the situation the reader experiences along with the narrator, because the situation is one all of us must deal with at some point in our lives. I felt the examples of trying to overcome the problem and failing lent credibility to the experience, thereby delivering a strong message to readers about ' not giving up' that can be applied to many situations.
The strong rythm and beat to this poem keeps the reader focused and interested, creating a strong visionary connection to the narrator. Puctuation and grammer are good, although I would suggest a slight change in Verse Eight, Line three - I'd change the period at the end to a comma to maintain the symmetry of the rest of the poem.
Overall, a lovely, uplifting poem with a strong message delivered in a very pleasing, reader friendly manner.

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305
Review of Deep Well  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A touching and emotionally stirring poem of awakening the lifeforce within one's spirit.
I particularly enjoyed the symbology of a well for forgotten, abandoned dreams. It touched a deep chord of resonance in me because I tend to ' think in pictures.' Another metaphor I related to and felt fits the author's message well is ' clear the path'..' to find the water' - to me this represents shedding all your resentments and broken ideals to find the richness hidden in your current life.
The poem flowed well, although I did feel Line three, Verse One was a little less smooth in comparison to the rest of the poem, almost as if a word is missing that's needed to maintain the poem's rythm. I did think that an addition of punctuation, commas and periods would aid this, helping readers to focus on the rythm the author heard as they wrote it.
Overall, a poem that delivers an important message through words rich in imagery and symbolic visualizations.

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306
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest.Most importantantly, Keep Writing!


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; An interesting tittle that fits the piece well. Your description provokes interest and the rating seems right for this story.

CONTENTS; I loved the idea behind this story of an unknown and generous benefactor caring enough to give a wonderful, lasting gift. The story unfolds easily in the timeframe it is built around.

Characters, Dialogue: I didn't really feel a true emotional connection to your main character, perhaps because she/he seemed more focused on the flowers and gift cards than the incredible gift the annonymous sender had given. That part rings a little untrue to me as I felt the person would be more interested in exploring the new home than tasting food baskets.

IMAGERY; EMOTION; There is a very good use of imagery in this story. The description of the fancy gifts and the one small one wrapped in newspaper was very easy to imagine. I felt I was there looking at it with the character. I didn't get too much of an emotional feeling from this piece, partly because the main character didn't appear to feel many deep feelings.

SUGGESTIONS; I noted a couple of points that seemed inconsistent in the point you were trying to get across to the reader. In the first paragraph, you make note the character lost all thier family in the hurricane, however, later in the story that family appears at the birthday party. Is this a different part of the family? You may want to clarify this point in the story for readers.
Your main character's only emotion seems to be curiosity about the key and address, however once that mystery is solved, the character again descends into almost blankness. I would think, speaking for myself, I would be imagining many possibilities and be moved to tears when the truth of the gift became known to me. You might want to give this a bit of an edit to make the character more three dimensional.

OVERALL THOUGHTS; A wonderful, uplifting premise for a story. I think this story has the potential to become excellent in every aspect, it just needs a little polishing to be so, because I did feel strongly about its potential, I have rated it lower than I feel your plot deserves.
If you do edit or enlarge this piece, I'd be delighted to re-read and adjust my rating.

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307
307
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest.Most importantantly, Keep Writing!


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; Interesting tittle that fits the story well. I did feel the descriptive line would attract more readers if it were changed to give readers a hint of the story-line. [ you could always add an Author's note at the end on the contest it was written for]

CONTENTS; An interesting plot and storyline that shows great planning and creativity. The story flows very smoothly for the most part, there was only two spots where I was slightly confused by events and I think that might be due to a probable word count for contest reasons.
Clarity is very good in this story, imagery is clear, dialogue is believable and helps move the story foreward for the reader. It was very easy to maintain interest in the story from beginning to end.
Your plot was interesting and it was nice to see witches portrayed in a good way, rather than as a Hollywood stereotype.

Characters, Dialogue: Characters are very likeable and it's easy for readers to imagine sitting down and talking with them. Dialogue is smooth and realistic within the story's context. I enjoyed how you used the dialogue tags to show the characters personalities and story location.

IMAGERY; EMOTION; Imagery was realistic and vividly described. I could see the forest surrounding the cottage, imagine working with the plants. The characters as well were very vivid and quite easy to visualize in my mind as I read.
Reading through this piece I experienced a number of emotions. Laughter at Penney's irritation at her friend's ability to always know when she'd arrived, wonder at the simplicity of thierlife in the woods, sadness, joy when the main conflict was resolved. There was even a sense of camaradery between reader and characters.

SUGGESTIONS; I only have a couple of suggestions on improvement, these would be a transition line or short paragraph to help the reader stay focused. One would be between where Penney is exclaiming over Tarot, they sit down to eat and suddenly Penney is speaking of the nightmare when prior to this, it would seem she had no knowledge her friend suffered from it the night before. [just a personal opinion, I had to read that section twice to be sure I hadn't missed something] The second is when Penney asks about the box Tarot arrived in, how did she see it outside under the window when she was already inside?

OVERALL THOUGHTS; A wonderful uplifting and humourous story of two young witchy friends who enjoy helping thier neighbors. The ending is the perfect finishing touch that wraps up the loose threads with humour and a light touch of a great lesson about life. Keep Writing, your scope of imagination is truly wonderful !

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308
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

A quirky, humourous poem about a human and a werewolf. I felt there was a great mix of horror and humour in this poem that makes it both entertaining and gives a bit of that ' Alfred Hitchcock' flavor.
Verses flow seamlessly into each other and the added punctuation within the verses give the reader particularly well planned breathing areas to contemplate what they've read. The visual imagery in this poem is well done and manages to leave room for the reader's imagination to fill in much of the visual effect, a very effective tool in crafting anything horror.
I noted no grammatical or punctuation errors and I hope many will give this one a read, it's certain to bring a grin to your day!

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Review of Small Blue Box  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your tittle was excellent for this story. I did feel your descriptive line could use more work to bring in more readers, it doesn't really give a hint to the storyline. Your characters were very well developed for such a short piece. Dialogue was well written and believable and moved your story along very well. I felt Iwas there listening, waiting for the inevitable to be said. Well done !
You need to give this piece a good edit for missed words.
EXAMPLES;
' do as', try ' do as he..'
' handing back' ' handing IT back'
I enjoyed this little story very much, you have a wonderful talent for creating characters that are alive!

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310
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, I found your story on the Read A Newbie Page,and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.:Your tittle, while interesting, didn't quite seem to fit the story because your characters could leave, to me, snowed in, implies you are stuck until the roads clear or the storm breaks. I did like your descriptive line, interesting and fits perfectly to your story. I felt the rating might be better suited to Adult Supervision Required because of the subject matter.

*GiftG* Contents, [Flow, Clarity]: Your contents were interesting and there was a nice touch of humour apparent in some places. I did feel confused in some areas and had a hard time deciding the sex and preferences of your character in the first two reads of the story. Your flow is good, each paragraph leads well into the others.

*Snow1* Plot: I liked the plot line of this story, it was interesting and unique, although I did feel it could have been developed a little more by using more show and less tell throughout the piece.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Your main character was interesting, but I didn't feel much connection to him, we really get no sense of him except that he's a bartender who likes free drinks. I felt you could do much more with giving readers an emotional investment in him through use of dialogue to show him interacting with other characters.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : I didn't note any typos. Suggestions for improvement would be to add in some use of setting the background by using taste, smell, touch, etc. and by expanding the character's interactions with others through dialogue and action tags.You use alot of passive sentences, there is no real conflict that is solved.

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: I feel this story has exceptional potential as a comedy, drama piece, however, Irated it at 3.5 because of items noted above and the feel in your ending that the story was unfinished.[ you might fix that by leaving out your last paragraph, or by continuing the story a little further so there is a resolution to the piece. An excellent start to what could become a highly entertaining read with a bit of editing and polishing.
Write On !



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311
Review of Flaming Hearts  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful tittle for this poem! Your tag line effectively creates interest in readers.
I was struck by the vivid, haunting images this poem invoked and the well of emotions it brings to life in the reader. Such sadness and emptiness at the end ! I particularly enjoyed the repitions of the words, ' Flaming hearts'.
My only suggestion for improvement is with punctuation required. Commas after each first three lines per verse, periods at ends of fourth line per verse. I also noted a couple of lines where you missed needed commas;
Line Two, verse one; comma between ' flowers' ' and'
Verse two, lines two and three; commas between ' passions' ' and' 'Adam' ' the'
Verse three, lines two and three; commas between; ' leaves' ' and' ' old' ' are' ' hearts' ' past'
Verse Four, lines two and three; commas between; ' body' ' and' ' shared' ' that'
These would keep the symetry and natural flow you created in other verses.
You have great talent !

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Review of Home Again  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very good tittle and description line ! Clear, concise and interesting.
Your verses have excellent rhythm to them, very catchy and memorable. I felt deep emotions underlying this poem, from sadness to joy at the end. I liked the poems message of ' home is where the heart is.' You did an excellent job portraying this.
I would suggest adding some punctuation to create natural resting places for readers to stop and ponder your words. Perhaps commas after each of the first threelines per verse, period at end of fourth line each verse. Other than that, I have no suggestions for improvement and thouroughly enjoyed this poem!

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313
313
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked your tittle and descriptive line very much, both are a perfect match for this poem and draw the reader into reading the piece. There is an easy, contemplative flow to this poem that allows one to savor and contemplate each verse. The character of the elderly lady is so vivid and clear, I felt as though I was standing beside her and just wanted to give her a hug. She is someone I will remember for a very long time.
I experienced a multitude of emotions while reading this poem, curiosity, sorrow, anger and empathy coupled with a few tears for the unspeakable things she endured, I felt happiness that despite her pain, shedid experience at least some joy in life.
I felt the punctuation and grammer was flawless in this poem, I cannot think of one constructive suggestion for improvement, this poem touches the readers soul, and sends a clear message of the lasting effects our actions can have not only on one person, but on many future generations as well.

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314
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Forum,and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc. : Interesting tittle, however, I would suggest capitilizing the first letter of each tittle word for reader impact. Your description line would draw more readers if it gave a hint of your storyline.

*GiftG* Contents, [Flow, Clarity]: You have a marvellous flow and continuity to this short story. It is easy to follow and you've done a great job of showing the conflict.

*Snow1* Plot: Well thought out and strongly portrayed. I felt sadness and jubilation as I read. You added a great dose of humour through dialogue and the character's interplay.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Strong, believable characters. Dialogue is natural and moves the story foreward well. We get alot of info from characters actions rather than an overflow of backstory. Well done !

ScotchTape: Suggestions,Typos: I'd suggest a thourough edit and polish of this piece to correct punctuation errors and a few missed words.
EXAMPLES:
' He felt a proud..' [ delete 'a', not required.]
' Brad closed the door AND turned to his wife.' [ and is a missing word.]
period after,'giggle', new sentence;'She went over to stand..'

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: A punchy and attention grabbing short story! Your closing line was a masterpiece that tied everything together with a happy ending. I rated this story lower than I wanted to because it needs editing, but would be happy to re-rate once the edit is complete.

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315
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Forum and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: Great tittle and I loved your descriptive line, great gift by the way ! *Smile* Your rating is appropriate for this story.

*GiftG* Contents, [Flow, Clarity]: I liked the lively, varied pace of this story. It gave readers time to savour events while maintaining a high level of interest in the story. The flow is even, there is no ' strain' to retaining the continuity of this piece. I particularly liked your first transition from October to a day in December - nicely and smoothly done with just one simple word; ' finally.'- to me, this is a sign of a well polished work by an author who pays attention to detail. Location was easy to visualize in this story.

*Snow1* Plot: A delightful Holiday plot with a great message behind it regarding homeless people. This plot reminds me of an old saying my grandmother used to use; ' be careful how you treat everyone, for you never know when it might be an angel your entertaining.' Good advise from her and from your storyline ! Even from this excerpt, I felt the plot was well developed and well laid out.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Your characters are well rounded and breathe life, especially Walker's children, the rusty sounding old man, Walker and the homeless man. These are all people I'd love to spend time with ! Dialogue was believable and felt natural to the characters personalities. It moved your story foreward well. I really enjoyed the feeling of movement in this piece enhanced by the children's play and the moving car.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos: No typos or grammatical errors noted. I really have no constructive suggestions for improvement.

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating:A thouroughly enjoyable and well told Holiday story. I look foreward to reading the entire book, it's going on my Christmas wish list for the print copy and I sincerely wish you the best of luck with this novel !

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Review of Winter Solstice  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked your tittle, but did feel the descriptive line could be improved to draw in readers by giving an indication of what the poem is about.
The rythm and flow of this poem had my toes tapping and brought a smile to my face. You captured the joy and meaning of a Winter Solstice celebration in exquisite, vivid detail. Bravo !
I cannot think of one suggestion to improve this poem, I enjoyed it immensely !

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317
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found your tittle and descriptive line very appealing. They fit this poem very well.
The flow and clarity in your content was good, although I did find the poem felt a little like it dragged in the middle. I think it was only the length unbroken by verses that made me feel a bit breathless by the end, there didn't seem to be any ' natural breaks', for the reader to stop a momment and reflect on your words.[ this is simply my feeling as I read it aloud.]
I enjoyed the varied emotions from sadness to joy, from despair turned to hope that I experienced as I read. This poem is a very poignant view of a woman's life and worries for her children. I was so happy for her that she found herself and her faith at the end !
A memorable poem, more like a story, that delivers a strong message that becoming older doesn't mean life is over !

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318
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Page and am here to provide you with my thoughts on this item.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:
*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: I really felt this had a great tittle, it really caught my interest. Your description mirrors the tittle line, however I liked the fact you added this was/is a contest entry because I think that should help in getting it noticed by more reviewers.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : Your content was well planned and executed, very easy to understand and I felt it held reader interest well. I enjoyed the strong imagery of the storm competing with the warmth of the cherry blossoms and spring sun.
I enjoyed the story of the continuity of life told by this little story.

*Snow1* Plot: Excellent metaphorical tale about the circle of life.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Not really applicable, as I didn't really get that emotionally attached to one form of character, but I did enjoy the visualizations of the snow falling and it turning to a shower of blossoms.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : No typos or grammer errors seen. This is a pretty piece as is, I can offer no constructive suggestions for improvement.

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: This piece reads and looks in form, more like poetry than a short story. It has a rhythm and beat to it more in accordance with poetry than a short story, it was listed under reviews as a short story, if I've mixed that up - please forgive me, it's my error - also please let me know so I can adjust my rating from the given 4.5 to 5.0 stars.
Thank you for sharing this uplifting piece ! Write On !

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Review of Still Loving You  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

The beautiful imagery and deep emotion of this poem held me captivated throughout, I could not stop reading !
Flow, clarity and rythm are constant throughout this piece, the reader feels the longing of the narrator for home and roots.
My only suggestions for improvement to this piece would be to Capitilize each first letter of the words in the poem's tittle and to center it on the page for maximum impact in drawing readers interest to reading this very special poem.

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Review of Imperfection  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

An interesting and thought provoking letter from one friend to another. I liked the fact the letter was written by a teenager who is able to see both herself and others for whom they are and does not define people only by how they look. I think there are many teenagers who view the world with this clarity of view and I think it's important that this point is illustrated by writers. We hear too much in the news headlines of the 'bad' teenagers, it is nice to read of one unafraid of showing thier true self and being unswayed by peer pressure.
I did not notice any grammatical errors in this piece. The flow and clarity of thoughts is well done and the letter is both thoughtful and easy to understand.
Keep Writing !

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Rated: E | (5.0)
A great activity and effort by all ! Included are my sponser gift points for my writers. I sure hope this is the correct place to send them, as I didn't see a ' bank' link. A very nice job you did on promoting and hosting this activity - see you again next year !
To Group #1546311
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322
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A poem with a very interesting concept and a definate dark flavor. I could easily see this poem written out in story form.
I liked the underlying sense of hope and salvation in this piece. The imagery is very strong and the rythm is fluid and smooth.
Overall, a memorable and thought provoking read that lovers of the darker pieces will enjoy very much.

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323
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)

I enjoyed the vivid imagery in this poem, however I did find some of the lines a little confusing as you seem to be telling two poems at once, this is particularly apt for me in Verse Two. The thoughts and feelings expressed in this piece however, are very beautiful and invoke great feelings of happiness in the reader for the couple who found each other.
Overall, an enjoyable read with an interesting last verse on the color purple.
Write On !

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Review of Follicular Folly  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Forum, and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc. : The tittle and rating fit this piece well and your tag line of description did catch my interest well.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : I felt this little story flowed in a lively, clear manner that any reader could relate to. All guys would need do is switch little bits around. *Smile* Flow was even and smooth, the incidents each smoothly flowing into each other to create excellent reader interest, I felt right there beside this poor woman for the entire story.

*Snow1* Plot: This doesn't really apply here in an essay, however as the piece reads more like a short story; [ you might want to list it as a short story, actually] anyhow, I wanted to say that I loved the sense and feelings of humour mixed with irony throughout this piece. It made me smile the entire time I was reading. The ending was a perfect tie-in to complete the piece.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Your main character/narrator was clearly visible to readers, you give us plenty of information about her in few words. Nicely done ! Internal and outer dialogue is believable and well handled.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : No typos were apparent, although while I read, there was one small thought that crossed my mind.... where you have her imagining the headline of her arrest..I'd suggest making this a seperate sentence in caps to set it apart from the rest and add drama for readers. [ just my humble opinion here]

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: A wonderful read that I am certain many would enjoy as a nice break from holiday stress. I really felt this was more like a short story than essay and because of that and the part about headlines, I didn't give it a 5.0 star rating, however I did enjoy it and the rating part was a very hard choice. Keep Writing !

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Review of I AM  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Your tittle and descriptive line are catchy and interesting. They suit this piece to perfection.
I like the sharp, clear images in this work. They make for a very intense read and I could feel this being speaking to my soul. I did feel that your last line was a bit abrupt in comparison to the deeply felt visionary lines of the overall piece. Is there a way that you could, perhaps lengthen that line to fit the flow and cadence of the overall piece ? Maybe something like;
' You may call me God, for I Am all and I am love.' [ also ties in your tittle tighter to the piece.]

A beautiful, inspirational message and read. Keep Writing !

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