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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, I found your story on the Read A Newbie Page,and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.:Your tittle, while interesting, didn't quite seem to fit the story because your characters could leave, to me, snowed in, implies you are stuck until the roads clear or the storm breaks. I did like your descriptive line, interesting and fits perfectly to your story. I felt the rating might be better suited to Adult Supervision Required because of the subject matter.

*GiftG* Contents, [Flow, Clarity]: Your contents were interesting and there was a nice touch of humour apparent in some places. I did feel confused in some areas and had a hard time deciding the sex and preferences of your character in the first two reads of the story. Your flow is good, each paragraph leads well into the others.

*Snow1* Plot: I liked the plot line of this story, it was interesting and unique, although I did feel it could have been developed a little more by using more show and less tell throughout the piece.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Your main character was interesting, but I didn't feel much connection to him, we really get no sense of him except that he's a bartender who likes free drinks. I felt you could do much more with giving readers an emotional investment in him through use of dialogue to show him interacting with other characters.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : I didn't note any typos. Suggestions for improvement would be to add in some use of setting the background by using taste, smell, touch, etc. and by expanding the character's interactions with others through dialogue and action tags.You use alot of passive sentences, there is no real conflict that is solved.

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: I feel this story has exceptional potential as a comedy, drama piece, however, Irated it at 3.5 because of items noted above and the feel in your ending that the story was unfinished.[ you might fix that by leaving out your last paragraph, or by continuing the story a little further so there is a resolution to the piece. An excellent start to what could become a highly entertaining read with a bit of editing and polishing.
Write On !



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Review of Flaming Hearts  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful tittle for this poem! Your tag line effectively creates interest in readers.
I was struck by the vivid, haunting images this poem invoked and the well of emotions it brings to life in the reader. Such sadness and emptiness at the end ! I particularly enjoyed the repitions of the words, ' Flaming hearts'.
My only suggestion for improvement is with punctuation required. Commas after each first three lines per verse, periods at ends of fourth line per verse. I also noted a couple of lines where you missed needed commas;
Line Two, verse one; comma between ' flowers' ' and'
Verse two, lines two and three; commas between ' passions' ' and' 'Adam' ' the'
Verse three, lines two and three; commas between; ' leaves' ' and' ' old' ' are' ' hearts' ' past'
Verse Four, lines two and three; commas between; ' body' ' and' ' shared' ' that'
These would keep the symetry and natural flow you created in other verses.
You have great talent !

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Review of Home Again  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very good tittle and description line ! Clear, concise and interesting.
Your verses have excellent rhythm to them, very catchy and memorable. I felt deep emotions underlying this poem, from sadness to joy at the end. I liked the poems message of ' home is where the heart is.' You did an excellent job portraying this.
I would suggest adding some punctuation to create natural resting places for readers to stop and ponder your words. Perhaps commas after each of the first threelines per verse, period at end of fourth line each verse. Other than that, I have no suggestions for improvement and thouroughly enjoyed this poem!

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked your tittle and descriptive line very much, both are a perfect match for this poem and draw the reader into reading the piece. There is an easy, contemplative flow to this poem that allows one to savor and contemplate each verse. The character of the elderly lady is so vivid and clear, I felt as though I was standing beside her and just wanted to give her a hug. She is someone I will remember for a very long time.
I experienced a multitude of emotions while reading this poem, curiosity, sorrow, anger and empathy coupled with a few tears for the unspeakable things she endured, I felt happiness that despite her pain, shedid experience at least some joy in life.
I felt the punctuation and grammer was flawless in this poem, I cannot think of one constructive suggestion for improvement, this poem touches the readers soul, and sends a clear message of the lasting effects our actions can have not only on one person, but on many future generations as well.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Forum,and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc. : Interesting tittle, however, I would suggest capitilizing the first letter of each tittle word for reader impact. Your description line would draw more readers if it gave a hint of your storyline.

*GiftG* Contents, [Flow, Clarity]: You have a marvellous flow and continuity to this short story. It is easy to follow and you've done a great job of showing the conflict.

*Snow1* Plot: Well thought out and strongly portrayed. I felt sadness and jubilation as I read. You added a great dose of humour through dialogue and the character's interplay.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Strong, believable characters. Dialogue is natural and moves the story foreward well. We get alot of info from characters actions rather than an overflow of backstory. Well done !

ScotchTape: Suggestions,Typos: I'd suggest a thourough edit and polish of this piece to correct punctuation errors and a few missed words.
EXAMPLES:
' He felt a proud..' [ delete 'a', not required.]
' Brad closed the door AND turned to his wife.' [ and is a missing word.]
period after,'giggle', new sentence;'She went over to stand..'

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: A punchy and attention grabbing short story! Your closing line was a masterpiece that tied everything together with a happy ending. I rated this story lower than I wanted to because it needs editing, but would be happy to re-rate once the edit is complete.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Forum and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: Great tittle and I loved your descriptive line, great gift by the way ! *Smile* Your rating is appropriate for this story.

*GiftG* Contents, [Flow, Clarity]: I liked the lively, varied pace of this story. It gave readers time to savour events while maintaining a high level of interest in the story. The flow is even, there is no ' strain' to retaining the continuity of this piece. I particularly liked your first transition from October to a day in December - nicely and smoothly done with just one simple word; ' finally.'- to me, this is a sign of a well polished work by an author who pays attention to detail. Location was easy to visualize in this story.

*Snow1* Plot: A delightful Holiday plot with a great message behind it regarding homeless people. This plot reminds me of an old saying my grandmother used to use; ' be careful how you treat everyone, for you never know when it might be an angel your entertaining.' Good advise from her and from your storyline ! Even from this excerpt, I felt the plot was well developed and well laid out.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Your characters are well rounded and breathe life, especially Walker's children, the rusty sounding old man, Walker and the homeless man. These are all people I'd love to spend time with ! Dialogue was believable and felt natural to the characters personalities. It moved your story foreward well. I really enjoyed the feeling of movement in this piece enhanced by the children's play and the moving car.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos: No typos or grammatical errors noted. I really have no constructive suggestions for improvement.

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating:A thouroughly enjoyable and well told Holiday story. I look foreward to reading the entire book, it's going on my Christmas wish list for the print copy and I sincerely wish you the best of luck with this novel !

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Review of Winter Solstice  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked your tittle, but did feel the descriptive line could be improved to draw in readers by giving an indication of what the poem is about.
The rythm and flow of this poem had my toes tapping and brought a smile to my face. You captured the joy and meaning of a Winter Solstice celebration in exquisite, vivid detail. Bravo !
I cannot think of one suggestion to improve this poem, I enjoyed it immensely !

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found your tittle and descriptive line very appealing. They fit this poem very well.
The flow and clarity in your content was good, although I did find the poem felt a little like it dragged in the middle. I think it was only the length unbroken by verses that made me feel a bit breathless by the end, there didn't seem to be any ' natural breaks', for the reader to stop a momment and reflect on your words.[ this is simply my feeling as I read it aloud.]
I enjoyed the varied emotions from sadness to joy, from despair turned to hope that I experienced as I read. This poem is a very poignant view of a woman's life and worries for her children. I was so happy for her that she found herself and her faith at the end !
A memorable poem, more like a story, that delivers a strong message that becoming older doesn't mean life is over !

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Page and am here to provide you with my thoughts on this item.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:
*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: I really felt this had a great tittle, it really caught my interest. Your description mirrors the tittle line, however I liked the fact you added this was/is a contest entry because I think that should help in getting it noticed by more reviewers.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : Your content was well planned and executed, very easy to understand and I felt it held reader interest well. I enjoyed the strong imagery of the storm competing with the warmth of the cherry blossoms and spring sun.
I enjoyed the story of the continuity of life told by this little story.

*Snow1* Plot: Excellent metaphorical tale about the circle of life.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Not really applicable, as I didn't really get that emotionally attached to one form of character, but I did enjoy the visualizations of the snow falling and it turning to a shower of blossoms.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : No typos or grammer errors seen. This is a pretty piece as is, I can offer no constructive suggestions for improvement.

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: This piece reads and looks in form, more like poetry than a short story. It has a rhythm and beat to it more in accordance with poetry than a short story, it was listed under reviews as a short story, if I've mixed that up - please forgive me, it's my error - also please let me know so I can adjust my rating from the given 4.5 to 5.0 stars.
Thank you for sharing this uplifting piece ! Write On !

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Review of Still Loving You  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

The beautiful imagery and deep emotion of this poem held me captivated throughout, I could not stop reading !
Flow, clarity and rythm are constant throughout this piece, the reader feels the longing of the narrator for home and roots.
My only suggestions for improvement to this piece would be to Capitilize each first letter of the words in the poem's tittle and to center it on the page for maximum impact in drawing readers interest to reading this very special poem.

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Review of Imperfection  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

An interesting and thought provoking letter from one friend to another. I liked the fact the letter was written by a teenager who is able to see both herself and others for whom they are and does not define people only by how they look. I think there are many teenagers who view the world with this clarity of view and I think it's important that this point is illustrated by writers. We hear too much in the news headlines of the 'bad' teenagers, it is nice to read of one unafraid of showing thier true self and being unswayed by peer pressure.
I did not notice any grammatical errors in this piece. The flow and clarity of thoughts is well done and the letter is both thoughtful and easy to understand.
Keep Writing !

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Rated: E | (5.0)
A great activity and effort by all ! Included are my sponser gift points for my writers. I sure hope this is the correct place to send them, as I didn't see a ' bank' link. A very nice job you did on promoting and hosting this activity - see you again next year !
To Group #1546311
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

A poem with a very interesting concept and a definate dark flavor. I could easily see this poem written out in story form.
I liked the underlying sense of hope and salvation in this piece. The imagery is very strong and the rythm is fluid and smooth.
Overall, a memorable and thought provoking read that lovers of the darker pieces will enjoy very much.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)

I enjoyed the vivid imagery in this poem, however I did find some of the lines a little confusing as you seem to be telling two poems at once, this is particularly apt for me in Verse Two. The thoughts and feelings expressed in this piece however, are very beautiful and invoke great feelings of happiness in the reader for the couple who found each other.
Overall, an enjoyable read with an interesting last verse on the color purple.
Write On !

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Review of Follicular Folly  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Forum, and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc. : The tittle and rating fit this piece well and your tag line of description did catch my interest well.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : I felt this little story flowed in a lively, clear manner that any reader could relate to. All guys would need do is switch little bits around. *Smile* Flow was even and smooth, the incidents each smoothly flowing into each other to create excellent reader interest, I felt right there beside this poor woman for the entire story.

*Snow1* Plot: This doesn't really apply here in an essay, however as the piece reads more like a short story; [ you might want to list it as a short story, actually] anyhow, I wanted to say that I loved the sense and feelings of humour mixed with irony throughout this piece. It made me smile the entire time I was reading. The ending was a perfect tie-in to complete the piece.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Your main character/narrator was clearly visible to readers, you give us plenty of information about her in few words. Nicely done ! Internal and outer dialogue is believable and well handled.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : No typos were apparent, although while I read, there was one small thought that crossed my mind.... where you have her imagining the headline of her arrest..I'd suggest making this a seperate sentence in caps to set it apart from the rest and add drama for readers. [ just my humble opinion here]

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: A wonderful read that I am certain many would enjoy as a nice break from holiday stress. I really felt this was more like a short story than essay and because of that and the part about headlines, I didn't give it a 5.0 star rating, however I did enjoy it and the rating part was a very hard choice. Keep Writing !

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Review of Tatsuwa's Cloud  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I am giving you this review on behalf of the FMS Survivors & Friends Group. I found your item on the FMS Review Forum Page.
Anything said in this review is given as one reader's opinion only and meant to provide you feedback on your story only. With that said, here is my review;

CHARACTERS: Your characters were both believable and memorable. I liked both of your main characters very much and you used thier actions in a way that gave readers alot of background without overwhelming so one lost interest in the story. I was actually drawn right into thier lives as I read and was sorry when the story ended.

PLOT: Very well thought out and executed with clarity and great attention to the historical setting.

GRAMMAR/ Spelling: I saw no areas where I could offer suggestions for improvement.

LIKED:*Thumbsup*: The believability of the characters and dialogue. I also enjoyed the manner in which you used the growing cloud to heighten drama and foreshadow the upcoming conflict.

DISLIKED: *Thumbsdown*: The only area that seemed a bit jarring to reader believability was the description of the strangers mounts, wouldn't they have simply ridden horses or mules and not strange, seemingly antlered beasts ?

OVERALL IMPRESSION: An excellent tale that spells out the trials and lies of these times in a way that draws readers into the characters time period so we see it through thier eyes.

FINAL THOUGHTS: An entertaining storythat illustrates the message of paying attention to nature and your surroundings.

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Review of I AM  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

Your tittle and descriptive line are catchy and interesting. They suit this piece to perfection.
I like the sharp, clear images in this work. They make for a very intense read and I could feel this being speaking to my soul. I did feel that your last line was a bit abrupt in comparison to the deeply felt visionary lines of the overall piece. Is there a way that you could, perhaps lengthen that line to fit the flow and cadence of the overall piece ? Maybe something like;
' You may call me God, for I Am all and I am love.' [ also ties in your tittle tighter to the piece.]

A beautiful, inspirational message and read. Keep Writing !

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The first thing that strikes me is the deep emotion in this essay. Second would be the incredible imagery of the trees and the ice, especially the willow tree. You have set the location and added personality to the willow through personal memories, the importance of learned life lessons through the way the willow has persevered over the years and the extra emotional attachment because this was your aunt's tree and she is now gone.
I see a simile here in the willow tree's last battle for life and the final , un-winnable fight against death we all must face. Another in the weight of the ice depicting the weight of illness or age overwhelming a life.
I liked the short, punchy sentences you used to pace this piece. It is like watching a video of the events in my mind. I felt the willow's determination to live, felt the chilling bite of the wind and the crushing weight of the ice. I cheered the willow on, knowing her victory was not to be.
There is no advice I can give to suggest improvement in this piece. Grammer, punctuation, flow and clarity are all excellent. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with us.Definately rates at 5.0 stars !

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Review of Discover  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

There is a strong, driving beat underlying these lyrics. As a poem or a song, it works quite well as it is, however, in my opininion, the really harsh language spoils the symetry of the overall piece,. I'd suggest changing the lines you have about lies to ' hidden, dirty, whispered or similar word' lies. I also feel that keeps your original flow and clarity and would broaden your audience if put to music. It just seems to me the words are too smooth and the message contained in the overall piece is strong enough to stand without the harsh language of rap or heavy metal type wording.
I noted a couple of small typos in some verses,
Example: ' in life and the we die' ' the' should be 'then'.
You just need to give it a bit of an edit and polish for typos.
Overall, a strong piece with a powerful message of deceit and betrayal and a call to wake up to this fact.
Keep Writing !

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Review of Through the Storm  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Page and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: Interesting tittle ! Description should tell readers a bit of what your story is about. I'd also suggest choosing the genre- ' Short Story' in place of ' Other'.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : I would remove the second item ID # shown at the top of your stories body, it's really not required there and makes readers expect a sequel, if you have or plan one, move it to the end of the story and put ' Part Two' in it's tittle.
The general flow of the story was quite good and easy to follow.

*Snow1* Plot: Interesting, but very close to Wizard of Oz.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: I didn't feel any real connection to the characters and had trouble judging the age and sex of the main character. Dialogue was well managed and the internal dialogue was believable for Fantasy.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : I would give this story a good edit and polish, here are some of the main things I noted.
" ...in an red, rusty..' 'an' should be 'a'
The note about the spelling of colour in the UK is very distracting, if you feel it must be explained, try putting it at the end of the piece.
commas are needed after ' perfectly and powdery'
Uncles M's should be Uncle M's
I'd also suggest a period after " Otto and I" Start a new sentence with, " I knew it.." [ breaks up long, run-on sentence.]

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: You have a great flair for humour and creativity in your writing, thank you for sharing this piece, it made me chuckle with it's happenings ! I'd be happy to change my rating after you've given the story an edit and polish.
Keep Writing !

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Review of Decaying Beauty  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

This poem is filled with vivid and satisfying imagery that wecan all relate to. It made me think of how I was admiring the trees near our home on my walk yesterday. I felt a great respect and pleasure for and of nature in your words.
Just a thought, I felt that in line two, verse one; it might read better as '...summer begins..' [ from the ending lines I felt you were speaking of summer throughout in the singular form ? This line seemed to speak of plural summers instead. ]
A very beautiful poem that I hope many will take time to read.

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Review of The Only One  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I am giving you this review on behalf of the FMS Survivors & Friends Group. Anything said in this review is given as one reader's opinion only and meant to provide you feedback on your story only. With that said, here is my review;

CHARACTERS: The characters in this story are very well thought out and portrayed as three dimensional beings. They actually seemed to step off the screen into my world. I liked the distinct differences you showed between how they acted in animal and human form. Thier emotions were believable as were thier actions.

PLOT: An interesting twist on the usual shifter story. I liked the way they wanted to help the other shifters regain thier humanity against seemingly impossible odds.
There are good themes of redemption and the importance of family and beloning in this story.

GRAMMAR/ Spelling: I found no flaws or mistakes here.

LIKED:*Thumbsup*: The vivid images of the characters, it was easy to visualize the girl as a cat in the opening paragraph. Location was stronly detailed, making it very easy for readers to see, without using a massive amount of information to create breaks in the tension and flow of the story.

DISLIKED: *Thumbsdown*: This is only a personal opinion, but I felt that Dylan would have taken a little more convncing that the other shifters might be helped. He seemed fearful of them and considered them pretty much beyond redemption.. would he agree so quickly with a person still virtually a stranger to him ?

OVERALL IMPRESSION: A powerful story that grabs readers from the opening line and uses dramatic tension and conflict to keep them reading to the end.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I would enjoy following the adventures of this pair as they come to know each other and seek out the other shifters. You certainly have enough plot here to make a much longer work from this story.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tittle and description fit this poem perfectly.
I liked the slow and gentle pace of this piece. It flows softly and smoothly, lulling the reader into thier own memories of love. The last line speaks volumes, a dream of being loved unconditionally by a special someone in our lives, unreqited love, love only dreamed of, as the human spirit ever strives to reach for the unconditional love we all desire so deeply.
A touching and thought provoking poem that I hope others will read.

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Review of Roses in Heaven  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

Tittle and description fit the contents perfectly. This is a beautiful, heartfelt poem about a daughter's love for her Mother that transcends death itself. I was touched by the beautiful thought of God picking roses and giving them to a mother on her daughter's behalf on a special day.
The poem itself has a simple, but smooth flow to it. The cadence is not broken anywhere and emotion shines throughout it's verses.
A poem that is well worth a read by anyone. I hope many other people give this a read.

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Review of Room at the End  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

I found this to be a wonderful poem on remembering one's lifetime as age takes it's toll on body and mind.
The momments were sharply defined, and the imagery powerful and emotional. I experienced feelings of loss, joy, happiness and success right along with the narrator.
I have too many favorite lines to list, but the two that stand out the most are line one, verse one and the entire last stanza.
I am not familiar enough with the various poetry forms to offer tips on form, however, this one seems to match all the requirements in that area compared to similar poems I've read.

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