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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The first thing that strikes me is the deep emotion in this essay. Second would be the incredible imagery of the trees and the ice, especially the willow tree. You have set the location and added personality to the willow through personal memories, the importance of learned life lessons through the way the willow has persevered over the years and the extra emotional attachment because this was your aunt's tree and she is now gone.
I see a simile here in the willow tree's last battle for life and the final , un-winnable fight against death we all must face. Another in the weight of the ice depicting the weight of illness or age overwhelming a life.
I liked the short, punchy sentences you used to pace this piece. It is like watching a video of the events in my mind. I felt the willow's determination to live, felt the chilling bite of the wind and the crushing weight of the ice. I cheered the willow on, knowing her victory was not to be.
There is no advice I can give to suggest improvement in this piece. Grammer, punctuation, flow and clarity are all excellent. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with us.Definately rates at 5.0 stars !

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Review of Discover  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

There is a strong, driving beat underlying these lyrics. As a poem or a song, it works quite well as it is, however, in my opininion, the really harsh language spoils the symetry of the overall piece,. I'd suggest changing the lines you have about lies to ' hidden, dirty, whispered or similar word' lies. I also feel that keeps your original flow and clarity and would broaden your audience if put to music. It just seems to me the words are too smooth and the message contained in the overall piece is strong enough to stand without the harsh language of rap or heavy metal type wording.
I noted a couple of small typos in some verses,
Example: ' in life and the we die' ' the' should be 'then'.
You just need to give it a bit of an edit and polish for typos.
Overall, a strong piece with a powerful message of deceit and betrayal and a call to wake up to this fact.
Keep Writing !

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Review of Through the Storm  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Page and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: Interesting tittle ! Description should tell readers a bit of what your story is about. I'd also suggest choosing the genre- ' Short Story' in place of ' Other'.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : I would remove the second item ID # shown at the top of your stories body, it's really not required there and makes readers expect a sequel, if you have or plan one, move it to the end of the story and put ' Part Two' in it's tittle.
The general flow of the story was quite good and easy to follow.

*Snow1* Plot: Interesting, but very close to Wizard of Oz.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: I didn't feel any real connection to the characters and had trouble judging the age and sex of the main character. Dialogue was well managed and the internal dialogue was believable for Fantasy.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : I would give this story a good edit and polish, here are some of the main things I noted.
" ...in an red, rusty..' 'an' should be 'a'
The note about the spelling of colour in the UK is very distracting, if you feel it must be explained, try putting it at the end of the piece.
commas are needed after ' perfectly and powdery'
Uncles M's should be Uncle M's
I'd also suggest a period after " Otto and I" Start a new sentence with, " I knew it.." [ breaks up long, run-on sentence.]

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: You have a great flair for humour and creativity in your writing, thank you for sharing this piece, it made me chuckle with it's happenings ! I'd be happy to change my rating after you've given the story an edit and polish.
Keep Writing !

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Review of Decaying Beauty  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

This poem is filled with vivid and satisfying imagery that wecan all relate to. It made me think of how I was admiring the trees near our home on my walk yesterday. I felt a great respect and pleasure for and of nature in your words.
Just a thought, I felt that in line two, verse one; it might read better as '...summer begins..' [ from the ending lines I felt you were speaking of summer throughout in the singular form ? This line seemed to speak of plural summers instead. ]
A very beautiful poem that I hope many will take time to read.

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Review of The Only One  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I am giving you this review on behalf of the FMS Survivors & Friends Group. Anything said in this review is given as one reader's opinion only and meant to provide you feedback on your story only. With that said, here is my review;

CHARACTERS: The characters in this story are very well thought out and portrayed as three dimensional beings. They actually seemed to step off the screen into my world. I liked the distinct differences you showed between how they acted in animal and human form. Thier emotions were believable as were thier actions.

PLOT: An interesting twist on the usual shifter story. I liked the way they wanted to help the other shifters regain thier humanity against seemingly impossible odds.
There are good themes of redemption and the importance of family and beloning in this story.

GRAMMAR/ Spelling: I found no flaws or mistakes here.

LIKED:*Thumbsup*: The vivid images of the characters, it was easy to visualize the girl as a cat in the opening paragraph. Location was stronly detailed, making it very easy for readers to see, without using a massive amount of information to create breaks in the tension and flow of the story.

DISLIKED: *Thumbsdown*: This is only a personal opinion, but I felt that Dylan would have taken a little more convncing that the other shifters might be helped. He seemed fearful of them and considered them pretty much beyond redemption.. would he agree so quickly with a person still virtually a stranger to him ?

OVERALL IMPRESSION: A powerful story that grabs readers from the opening line and uses dramatic tension and conflict to keep them reading to the end.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I would enjoy following the adventures of this pair as they come to know each other and seek out the other shifters. You certainly have enough plot here to make a much longer work from this story.

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331
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tittle and description fit this poem perfectly.
I liked the slow and gentle pace of this piece. It flows softly and smoothly, lulling the reader into thier own memories of love. The last line speaks volumes, a dream of being loved unconditionally by a special someone in our lives, unreqited love, love only dreamed of, as the human spirit ever strives to reach for the unconditional love we all desire so deeply.
A touching and thought provoking poem that I hope others will read.

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Review of Roses in Heaven  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Tittle and description fit the contents perfectly. This is a beautiful, heartfelt poem about a daughter's love for her Mother that transcends death itself. I was touched by the beautiful thought of God picking roses and giving them to a mother on her daughter's behalf on a special day.
The poem itself has a simple, but smooth flow to it. The cadence is not broken anywhere and emotion shines throughout it's verses.
A poem that is well worth a read by anyone. I hope many other people give this a read.

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Review of Room at the End  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

I found this to be a wonderful poem on remembering one's lifetime as age takes it's toll on body and mind.
The momments were sharply defined, and the imagery powerful and emotional. I experienced feelings of loss, joy, happiness and success right along with the narrator.
I have too many favorite lines to list, but the two that stand out the most are line one, verse one and the entire last stanza.
I am not familiar enough with the various poetry forms to offer tips on form, however, this one seems to match all the requirements in that area compared to similar poems I've read.

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Review of Gazing  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

The form of this poem as explained by the author seems to be written exactly as required.
I enjoyed the clarity and power of the images portrayed in this poem, they made me feel I was right there on the ski trip with the narrator. The flow and beat of this piece is lovely, uplifting and with an underlying sense of adventure.
I actually experienced a wonderful serene feeling as I read and an anticipation of snowy days to come.
Favorite Line;
' A guard watching silent o'er cold, slate gray waters'
I cannot offer any constructive advise for improvement to this piece, I think it was well thought out and it's message beautifully portrayed as it is.

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Review of A Day on the Farm  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you wish and ignore the rest. Happy Writing !


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; Interesting tittle and the description fits perfectly. The rating was well matched to story content.

CONTENTS; The contents were both humourous and a little creepy with the ease the chickens accepted and even relished each other's fate. Well done, it certainly holds reader interest high !
The dialogue was believable and well done, it moved the story ahead nicely while giving us a good look into each character's personality. It was very easy to visualize the location and events in this piece.

IMAGERY; EMOTION; The imagery was sharp and well planned. I felt laughter, sadness and even anger at some of the character's reactions as I read.

SUGGESTIONS; I have no constructive suggestions for improvement as I really enjoyed this short story. Transitions, spelling and punctuation were all well managed.

OVERALL THOUGHTS; An engaging story with a unique plot.

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Review of Lost  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A haunting and memorable poem about roads not taken in life.
I enjoyed the powerful imagery in this poem and the metaphors used are perfect for creating the maximum emotional impact from the reader. The poem actually tells a story of how the narrator feels and what brought the person to that point in life.
After reading the form requirements at the end of the poem, I could see no errors there. The poem flows as smoothly as water along a creek bed.
Favorite Lines: [ too many to list all, here's two; ]
" Darkness enshrouds as desire's light fails,"
" faint echoes remind me of chances I've missed,"

A highly recommended read !

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337
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, I am giving you this review on behalf of the FMS Survivors & Friends Group. Anything said in this review is given as one reader's opinion only and meant to provide you feedback on your story only. With that said, here is my review;

CHARACTERS: I found it rather difficult to connect with the narrator of this story. I felt that with a life rich in friends, perhaps she'd just change how she went about meeting new men.

PLOT: You did make some excellent points on how suddenly life can change and the various interests of specific age groups, but I thought you'd include more then just ' meeting a guy' from your story's description line.

GRAMMAR/ Spelling: No errors noted.

LIKED:*Thumbsup*: It's very easy to visualize the bar scenes you describe and you do make valid points on the bar scene.

DISLIKED: *Thumbsdown*: The implication that this woman felt her whole worth seemed to be based on having a man.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: I felt lonliness was the key theme here and I would love to see the story developed to describe the woman's lifestyle further, her values, work, friendships, why does she feel so pressured to find a man ?

FINAL THOUGHTS: A good start on a piece that carries a valid message on the shock of getting older and the realization that one never really feels older until faced with a changed situation that was once familiar.

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Review of Tradition!  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

An interesting and informative article told with humour and a faint hint of irony. I did like that the author included both the place where she had first recieved the information, the date and the fact the story may or may not be factual. It shows an open mind and honest professionalism in the piece.
The story was told in a well ordered fashion and I liked the idea the author asked readers to participate in researching some of thier own Church's traditions, showing research to be a fun and valuable tool.

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Review of Beltane  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, I am giving you this review on behalf of the FMS Survivors & Friends Group. Anything said in this review is given as one reader's opinion only and meant to provide you feedback on your story only. With that said, here is my review;

CHARACTERS: Wonderfully alive and three dimensional. Kieran and Janelle are both people I could easily sit down and sip some ale with !

PLOT: I liked the plot of this story, ' A young man breaks the ties binding him and sets out on a journey of self-discovery.' It's well planned and very believable in the way the story unfolds, I'd definately enjoy following him and Janelle farther in thier lives !
GRAMMER/ Spelling: Grammer looked good to me. One spelling/typo; Where Janelle runs into the forest..' 'of' should be 'off'

LIKED:*Thumbsup* The wonderful imagery and poerful descriptions of Beltane in the beginning. Made me long for spring to come and the circle to open ! I also enjoyed the clarity and easy flow of this story, it's entertaining, dramatic and easy for readers to follow.
I also enjoyed the scene between Kieran and Janelle. You build up conflict here to a tight edge, followed by a beautiful love scene. Very effective for building suspence and letting us see these character's hearts.

DISLIKED: *Thumbsdown* My own ' nit-pick' and let me first say, I understand why you used the word ' commune', but it did sound a bit '60's hippy, instead of using the correct name. Still, not all readers would see the difference and many would be more comfortable with ' commune.'

OVERALL IMPRESSION: A haunting story that gives a delightful view into a special night and tells the story of two young lovers trials. It is filled with hope, dreams and promise and I felt both joyous and sad as I read through the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS: A haunting tale for all fantasy/ romance readers. I'll definately read more of this Author's work !

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Review of The Triangle  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you wish and ignore the rest. Happy Writing !


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; Interesting Tittle that gives nothing away of what's to come, yet sparks many possibilities. Description is good, but I felt you needed a couple more key words than Contest, maybe,Drama, Crime?

CONTENTS; I enjoyed the sharp, crisp sentences in this story that kept the pace fast, yet was clear and straightforward to hold readers deeply engaged throughout. A very easy story to read and follow.

IMAGERY; EMOTION; Opening paragraph is excellently polished and dramatic. Plenty of short, sharp descriptive words to engage readers from the start. My curiosity was piqued right off. I loved the storyline and the flow is solid and even throughout, it doesn't miss a beat.
You don't waste words on unrequired backstory or long narrative that might confuse or bore readers. The action was easy to follow and the characters show themselves well through thier dialogue and actions. There is awonderful sense of foreward motion throughout this piece. Jack, in particular, was very easy for me to visualize.

SUGGESTIONS; I think you meant to say; ' don't hold your breath for the money.' ?

OVERALL THOUGHTS; The plot, story arc, flow and believability of this story are all there in spades ! I enjoyed the repitition of the phrase, ' exactly as planned.' Great foreshadowing and way to tantalize readers into watching for the unexpected which you deliver with great skill at the end !
I had to give this one a 5.0 ---and I highly recommend this story to all who love drama, humour and irony all mixed together to create one highly pleasureable tale !

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
An excellent poem of an original fairytale told in a humourous and highly upbeat manner that is difficult to resist at any age ! Excellent flow and rythm throughout this poem, it almost makes you want to tap your toes !
I saw no spelling, punctuation or grammatical errors and I think this is a poem any Fantasy lover would enjoy, a great poem to share with children at bed time ! *Thumbsup*

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Review of Foggy Morning  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

A very surreal poem - there is a strong visionary imagery throughout this poem to engage readers imaginations.
I was slightly confused in verse three where it speaks of the professor and his farm, I wasn't quite sure of the connection here to the narrator. At the end it seemed they'd kept in touch, but it's not too clear in verse three. [ perhaps it was just my perceptions that were off. ]
I did like the mention of the box of cherished postcards and letters, a way of holding past friendships and memories always close to ones heart. The poem carried a strong message of the importance of staying in touch with old friends.
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

The poem at the beginning is a nice touch in this story and provides readers a good sense of what's to come.
I found it easy to empathize with the POV character, he's very three dimensional. All the characters are very life-like.
The story contains two very clear messages on how we tend to treat those whom we perceieve as different from ourselves along with the secondary theme of the importance of familys sticking together.
Overall, a fun and imaginative read for all ages.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Although I found line two, verse one a bit of a mouthful at first, it gives credibility and location to the poem. I liked the short, descriptive lines describing how the lion's call sounded. It made me feel I could actually hear him roar.
There is alot of ' documentary type' content throughout the poem that maintains the readers interest well. It is interesting to learn new facts in unexpected places. Well Done ! I also enjoyed the comparison between the scientific and poetic viewpoints of the roar's meaning. [ poet being my favorite one ]
This poem draws many conflicting emotional responses from it's readers. Admiration, respect, awe and even sorrow, regret and anger at the old cat's fate.
A compelling and interesting read of lions and life.
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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An excellent job of ' showing, not telling.' I found your closing particularly effective in this story. [ wow, no wonder Bobby had problems ! ] I particularly liked the thread of dry sattire running throughout this piece. Readers get to know Shmidt early on, you managed to slip in the reason he was so paranoid very deftly, which let the reader feel instant empathy for this individual.
I also liked your use of sound to emphasize certain triggers to his affliction and the coping mechanisms introduced that let him function within his world view parameters. I would love to see this piece expanded, the character is compelling and one hopes he overcomes his problems in time.
All in all, an enjoyable and highly creative read. Well done !
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Review of The Climb  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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I liked how this poem is not only one of loss, but also of closeness and the importance of Family. It tells us the story of two brothers life experiences from childhood through adulthood and impending loss. I particularly identified with the themes of caring, closeness and the importance of ' being there', for another family member in great need.
There is also a strong message of acceptance and faith in a higher power.
I did feel this piece would hold more reader impact if given a good edit for punctuation, mainly a few missing commas in some verses. [ Verse five is a great illustration of the correct punctuation. ]
I also noted two typos;
Verse One, Line 2 ; ' missing a word.. maybe, ' the' ?
Verse Four, Line 3; ' to' should be ' too'
Overall a heartfelt and truly inspirational poem.
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Review of The Pain  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This is a hauntingly beautiful poem about lost love. It is unigue in it's use of water to illustrate emotion. A very unigue take on this subject.
SUGGESTION; Verse One, Line Five : Delete the word ' of', it breaks the dramatic flow of this verse.
I loved how each verse leads seamlessly into the next to create a full story with a beginning, middle and end that draws the reader into the piece so we see and feel what the person in the poem does. I do not see that impact in many poems, very well presented ! *Thumbsup*
A highly emotional and vivid read that all romantics are sure to enjoy.
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Review of Mermaids  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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I liked the easy rythm of this poem. The two opening lines are captivating and beautifully crafted as are the two closing lines. I did feel that lines three and four could use a bit of polishing as they just did not have the same reader impact shown in the rest of the poem. [ Please remember this is just my humble opinion and you should leave the words as you see fit. ]
Overall, I found this to be a sweet and enjoyable poem and encourage all lovers of fantasy to give it a read !
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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I felt this poem conveyed strong emotions of anger, disillusionment and jealousy tucked throughout it's strong and vivid words. Each line was well designed to pull a strong, emotional response from it's readers.
I did feel that some verse breaks and a bit more punctuation would help make the poem more dramatic, while slowing it's pace slightly so the reader could catch thier breath and get a better comprehension of what the writer is trying to get across. I was left feeling slightly breathless and confused at the end and had to re-read it a few times to grasp it's concept.
The poem does contain strong dramatic content and I do feel many readers would enjoy this poem.
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Review of Just a Fairytale  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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The lyrics in this song clearly show the jilted lover's state of mind. The song tells the story of a love and life gone wrong very well. I felt verse six could use a bit of polishing, ' mud on me', was a bit jarring, however this might not remain the case once it's set to music.
I did strongly feel that you needed to add a catchy, repeating chorus to make the song memorable to it's listeners. Something easy to sing along with. Your verse beginning with " You left me branded.." would be good for this, I thought. [ forgive me if you'd planned that and it simply didn't show in the written version. ]
Overall, a heartfelt and promising set of lyrics.
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