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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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426
426
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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This story holds reader interest from beginning to end. I would definately say it should be continued. I rated it as a four only because it is unfinished.
I liked all the foreward motion in this piece, it never leaves the reader floundering to remember what just happened. Characters are alive and three dimensional. Settings are sharp and dialogue crisp and believable. I liked how you didn't clutter the story with dialogue tags, it read much better as it is.
Your plot is interesting with a fresh and rather surprising outlook on a pirates personality and beliefs. Very enjoyable!
Once completed this story would stand out as a most refreshing and well read piece. A compelling read as is.
SM Ferguson
427
427
Review of I Wonder  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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This poem speaks of the interconnection of all things and how each choice affects others. It whispers of questions that can never be answered, yet keep us awake nights. I liked the metaphors of 'full dance card' and 'hiding behind the door'.
I felt this piece flowed well when read aloud, it has a natural rythm to it that allows the reader to stop and ponder it's full impact.
A good read with a heartfelt message.
SM Ferguson
428
428
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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The 'Set-Up' section of your story is an excellent sidebar to this story.
A heartwarming story of hope and new beginnings. You captured the symbology of the dream with great precision. Even the color of the bedroom spoke of 'brighter futures'. I found your story both interesting and inspiring.
The ending was packed with emotion and the vivid imagery of one released from grief. It speaks of life, love and the cleansing ability of tears to ease the overpowering sadness of grief.
Thank you for sharing this story. SM Ferguson
429
429
Review of My Plea  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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A haunting, memorable poem full of deep imagery and emotional impact. The pace and flow of this poem are well done. I particularly enjoyed the first verse, it grabbed both my attention and empathy.

I did note a few lines that read a little rough in comparison to the rest of your piece. [ Please keep in mind this is simply my personal thoughts as I was reading and you should write as you feel best fits your writing.]
LINES TO POLISH;
"But tonight my neck is kinked, averting my stare."
is there a similar way to write this with different words then 'kinked' and "stare"? They feel slightly off, more confrontational then question.

"It is the alchohol rambling, stammering to defend."
Can alchohol ramble and defend itself, or is it more the person under it's influence doing this?

"To learn what it is that feverishly grabs, drawing you."
I would delete 'grabs' and just use 'draws you.'

An excellent piece full of drama and real life trauma that so many must deal with daily. Thank you for sharing this poem. SM Ferguson
430
430
Review of Power  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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A dramatic and powerful flow of imagery from start to end. I liked the theme behind this piece, but it felt like a glimpse into what could have been a very powerful and compelling story if developed into a longer piece.
For instance, who is this main character? Can you develop a bit of backstory to let the readers see and identify with him?
YOUR LINE;
'The goblins were everywhere.'
SUGGESTION:
Use this point, or just prior to it, to establish a setting the reader can also walk through.. are they in a forest, clearing, city? Are there smells or sounds?
YOUR LINE;
..'his three companions..'
SUGGESTION;
Another great place to expand the story and let the reader enter in emotionally. Who are these companions, why are they with the main character? How is it they don't know of the POV's 'power'?
I would also like to suggest that your story would flow a little smoother if you added in some paragraph breaks, rather then giving it to the reader all in one 'gulp', so to speak. A good place for starting new paragraphs is where scenes or lines of action change.
EXAMPLE:
..NOT EVEN ASH REMAINED OF THE GOBLINS.... then a new paragraph for ,' HE THEN TURNED TO FACE HIS COMPANIONS..'

Your ending is very satisfying and dramatic. It fits this story very well and leaves the reader asking questions in a way that makes the entire story memorable. You have a wonderful flair for developing dramatic and vivid scenes. I really enjoyed your style of writing.
SM Ferguson
431
431
Rated: E | (4.0)
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I enjoyed the rythm of this poem. I also enjoyed the clear images you used to represent the colors and meanings of the flag. They painted vivid pictures for your reader, making it easy to lose oneself in the poem.
MY FAVORITE LINES:
'My flag cascades..'
'..with a rush of dazzling light..'

PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS/OPINIONS:
YOUR LINE:
..'it's tenderness urges..'
This line felt a bit awkward to me in the sense of ; 'can a flag feel tenderness or would it rather inspire tenderness? Perhaps there is a way to convey this thought more clearly?
I loved the emotions and sentiments this poem expressed. A very delightful read. SM Ferguson
432
432
Rated: E | (3.5)
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There is a very good rythm to this poem, although I felt a line between stanzas would define each verses message better for your readers.
I did note a couple of punctuation errors or typos.
LINE 6; you have both a period and comma after 'sheer.'
LINE 13; try using a comma between 'weary' and 'eternities'.
I would also suggest capitilizing the first word of each verse.
LINE 2; the word 'astound' read a little jarringly. Could you use another word here or perhaps the full,'astounded' to smooth out your rythm?
Overall, I felt this was a lovely, heartfelt poem. Keep Writing!
SM Ferguson
433
433
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I enjoyed the way you mixed narrative and song lyrics to write this story. It kept the readers interest alive while adding a fresh twist to an old theme. Well Done!
You did an excellent job of setting mood and atmosphere early on and made it very easy for readers to identify with your main character. I also thought you painted a very clear perspective on Beth with the way you wove details into the backstory.
Your ending was satisfying, clearly showing the lesson behind the story without being heavy-handed or preachy. A truly enjoyable read.
SM Ferguson
434
434
Rated: E | (3.5)

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Your story maintains a consistent reflection of speech patterns throughout for the time period of the piece. I felt your plot had been well thought out and you gave the story a fresh twist. The ending felt rushed as a short story, but leaves many interesting threads for a book or a series of shorts.

MY PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS/SUGGESTIONS;
I thought this would be a much more dramatic read if you broke up some of the longer sentences with shorter ones. This varies the pacing to hold reader interest in a stronger way.
EXAMPLE;
Opening line, try placing the period after 'were dispatched' and begin a new line with 'These were..' Use a comma after 'place' or re-write for a tighter sentence.

YOUR LINE:
' Day and night they travelled and yet never did they feel weary...'
SUGGESTION;
'.. yet never did they nor thier steeds fall weary, despite the heat of a midsummer sun.'

Paragraph three could read much smoother if edited so it was not one continous sentence. You could add a bit more action to show how the people reacted to these men and why they reconized what they were. Did they have a distinguishing feature or talisman such as a crest or banner? What caused the people to react as they did? Details place the reader into the storys world and actions let us feel the emotional impacts.
I enjoyed reading your story because I felt strongly that it has great potential to become a truly fresh and dramatic read. It just needs some polishing and a good editing to bring out it's full potential. You have a great start here and I hope you continue working on it to develop the sub-plots hidden within the main story.
Write On! SM Ferguson
435
435
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A heartwarming story of a lovely family memory. I liked the warmth with which it was written and it is easy to feel a part of that snowed-in family gathering.
Your background settings were easy for your reader to picture. I felt I could hear the laughter and muffled whispers. Very nicely written. The inclusion of the recipe was a wonderful addition that I am certain many people will appreciate and enjoy.
Keep Writing! SM Ferguson
436
436
Review of In the Dark  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Great flow and a good sense of movement in the background. I enjoyed the building of suspense as well as the openings for reader imagination to fill in details. Readers get a very good sense of setting and characters.
The ending is an excellent summation and very satisfying!
Just one slight suggestion/opinion.
YOUR LINE;
' The room, now in total darkness.' read just a touch awkwardly in context to the action.
SUGGESTION:
' The room was plunged into total darkness.'
A tightly written and enjoyable read! Great job!
SM Ferguson
437
437
Review of Saturday Morning  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

A dramatic, tightly woven opening that makes you need to know what happens next. I loved the melding of sharp, rapid pacing with actions and dialogue.
I also enjoyed the humour in this story. It is a great compliment to the dramatic first scenes. The reader is not only placed into the story, but can relate to the main character because we've all been in his place.
A satisfying and hilariously ironic ending. This one is a must read.
SUGGESTION/ OPINION: I felt the line beginning with "Three hours later..." was a bit of a run-on sentence. Perhaps it would flow a bit smoother if made into a couple of shorter, punchier sentences. [ only a thought, it's great as is.]
A truly enjoyable read. SM Ferguson
438
438
Review of I Got Stoned  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is an excellent, humourous little story well worth the read.
Grammer and spelling were perfect.
Story flow is smooth and draws the reader right into the character's mind. The reader has a clear insight into the thoughts and world of the POV character.
There is an excellent, vivid use of imagery that puts you right beside the character. My personal favorite; 'Blue-berry pancakes and thick sliced maple bacon.' You can smell and taste these- made my mouth water!
I would highly recommend this story to anyone who enjoys a light, humourous look into another's life.
Well done, keep writing. SM Ferguson
439
439
Rated: E | (4.0)
An interesting viewpoint on a very real side-effect of the season. I enjoyed how this poem tells with dramatic, easily visualized images the two opposing sides of Yuletide, from the glittering lights to the darkness that can manifest within the soul.
As I read, I felt a multitude of emotions rise within, from joy, to wonder, to a deep empathy for anyone suffering the pain of seasonal disorder. I was very touched by the doubt tempered with hope invoked by the last line and in fact, that was my favorite line in this poem;
'Because I still shiver when it snows'
This poem strikes cords I am certain we all have felt to some degree when the holidays come upon us. I enjoyed the depth of feeling in this piece and will definately be reading more of this authors work.
Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
440
440
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
An interesting story told from the POV of the victim. Very vivid background details, I liked how all five senses were used in the description. Dialogue in french gave great credibility and brought characters and setting to life.
One gets an excellent feeling for the time period this story was written in from the description of the crowd and the main character's defiance in the face of impending death.
I did note one spelling error near the beginning, 'tastes buds', should be 'taste buds'
Story is easy to read and holds the reader's attention easily. Keep Writing!
SM Ferguson
441
441
Review of The Book  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

I liked the strong visual images in this story,
{i{EXAMPLE: 'smiling, dimpled, blonde haired moppet with hundreds of questions.'
This story has a smooth, powerful flow and I liked how the backstory was woven into the main narrative.
Characters were believable. This story made a good point about how young people can be drawn into bad experiences by books written on delicate subjects by authors with no real knowledge or moral obligation to thier subject matter.
This story does a good job of building horror and suspense, the ending is satisfying while leaving room for the reader's imagination to explore it's possibilities.
I would definately recommend this story to other readers who enjoy darker tales. Great Job!
SM Ferguson
442
442
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I found the beginning of this story to have an excellent hook, it caught my imagination with the many possibilities of what was to come. Characters and dialogue were believable, background details were nicely woven in. I felt the pacing and overall flow of the story conveyed the urgency of the situation. It was a very easy read.
The only thing that could have improved the story in my opinion was that the ending felt a little out of sync with the opening. It's hard to picture the family relaxing in front of smoky fires as they look at the remnants of thier burned home just days after a harrowing flight in which they nearly lost thier lives.
Just my personal opinion.
All together this is an enjoyable read I think most readers would enjoy. SM Ferguson
443
443
Review of Path Not Taken  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I enjoyed the rythm and flow of this Poem, there is a deep underlying tone of regret coupled with the understanding one cannot undo the past.
Images are sharp, clear and the reader can easily identify with the experience of the piece, don't we all wish we could change some part of our past? Reverse one wrong choice?
I did feel some punctuation would strengthen this piece and help the reader focus, thus drawing on thier imagination and experience to enhance the read,
SUGGESTIONS/ PUNCTUATION a question mark after 'atone.' Perhaps a period at the end of each stanza? How does it read to you with a comma after ecery second line- where thoughts change- such as after line 2?

I really enjoyed the emotional depth of this Poem. It has a haunting quality that lingers long after the read, you'll want to read it more then once.
SM Ferguson
444
444
Review of The Journal  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I loved the strong opening to this Story, it gives one an immediate feeling of understanding and kinship with this character that remains throughout the piece. He could easily be your brother, close friend or relative going off to meet a destiny he should never have been called to face. Also an excellent contrast in thinking and showing of emotions between generations when the Father is introduced. Well Done! This story illustrates perfectly how quickly life can change.The ending is total 'shock treatment', that leaves you remembering this story long after you stop reading.
Setting and background images are clear and vividly given without stopping the flow of the story. Foreward movement remains strong throughout. I particularly liked how the moonlight was used to illustrate the landscape and open the soldier's thoughts to describe the constant tension brought about by the dust itself.
Many emotions are at play in this story and they fully engage the reader in thier grip.An irritation and frustration with how his life is turning out to a powerful sense of 'time moving too fast,' plays on the emotions well. There is a sense of deep family love too seldom expressed and deep sadness coupled by weary acceptance of an experienced officer at the horrendous tradgedies and waste of life in war. This story screams at you to question why humans insist on destroying good people and the planet fighting wars that cannot ever be truly won. Excellent Writing! I recommend you take time out to give this one a close read.
SM Ferguson
445
445
Review of Anna  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: I enjoyed the mood this Story inspires of deep contemplation of life and how our decisions affect others.Your opening was crisp and grabbed my attention and interest quickly.I enjoyed the mixing of short with longer sentences which kept the pacing consistent with the tone of the story.Description was very good although I would have liked to see more of the senses such as taste, smells and colors used to describe the 'treasures one could behold', and 'the delights of the island.'I think this would have more vividly placed the reader in the scenes. I did like the way you introduced the backstory which gave a glimpse that these people had lives prior to the story. I felt a bit of dialogue might have broken up the narrative and helped the reader get a feel for the old man's anxiety more as he attended to his hurt wife and raced time to get her help. Also to make the story stronger where James and Mary were trying to convince him to leave.
SUGGESTIONS: The paragraph describing Anna felt slightly out of context in the middle of the tradedy taking place,you might want to try shuffling it to just prior to the walk where Anna actually is hurt, I felt this would maintain the flow better with the accident and her husband's desperate attemp to help Anna. The paragraph where James and Mary leave is a little rough in places, perhaps shorten the second line from;'all on his own.' to simply 'alone.'?
Your closing paragraph sums up the story nicely but I found the second to last line a bit confusing, perhaps 'change 'as' into 'to' or a similar word? Altogether a very enjoyable read with excellent drama and self reflection. SM Ferguson
446
446
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

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A Truly moving and heartfelt Poem that speaks of love,pain, loss and sorrow.The background imagery of the yellow dog, the siamese cat and the female energy all serve to lead the reader vividly into the experience. I felt sadness at the Father's passing mixed with joy for his release from pain. The overall emotional impact of this piece is excellent, I particularly liked how the last two lines were seperated as well as the words themselves.
I did find myself a bit confused by the sudden subject change from the description of the house and tree to the mother's bluebird- it felt a line was missing here that broke the rythm slightly.However that very omission serves to emphasize the sudden absense felt after a loved one passes-it works as a metaphor of the vacancy left by death. I also felt at least every second line should be capitilized at the beginning to mark a new sentence/thought starting. It took much courage and caring to share this poem, well done and may the song of the mocking bird ever soothe you. SM Ferguson
447
447
Review of Please Choose Me  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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A Short Story laced liberally with charm and humour.I could picture young Jeremy clearly,looks,emotions,fears,hopes,dreams-all were there, salted tantilizingly throughout this story. I was particularly taken with the description of Jeremy's care not to step on the white tiles,all children have these little 'good luck rituals', it took me back to my own childhood.
Jeremy's thoughts and actions raise a wealth of bittersweet emotions in the reader as they share his yearning for a family.Had he been a child I met in real life,I'd adopt him myself,who could resist him?
The plot and flow of this story was excellent, supporting characters were all clearly defined and I saw no spelling, punctuation, grammer or typing errors. I was a bit dissapointed that the ending didn't reveal if Mariana adopted Jeremy or not, but one's heart said she did and it certainly inspired me to write a similar story of an abandoned child finding his perfect family along with all the doubt at remaining with them and the final jubilation of realizing that the child was indeed home. A Great read and a creativity inspiring story for all who value family life. Excellent work. SM Ferguson
448
448
Rated: E | (4.5)
An enjoyable Short Story with a wonderful message for all. I enjoyed the light way the author got thier point across in this story.The opening sentence quickly catches the imagination with it's unigue tone. I enjoyed the short, no fluff writing style which succeeded in salting enough vivid background images throughout to let the reader's imagination take hold and really see this house as thier own. I love pieces that allow the reader to use thier own imagination as well. Excellent use of suspense building as one wonders whom the final victor will be. The ending summed up the story well and left me completely fulfilled from the read. Only two little nits that are just a humble opinion. I felt the very last sentence might read smoother by changing 'and welcomed'; to 'who welcomed' as well as changeing 'and be' to the words;'to be'. I'd recommend this as an uplifting read for all. Keep Writing,SM Ferguson
449
449
Review of The Magic Shop  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed the flow and rythm of this Story from start to end. Paragraphs and events flowed smoothly one to the next and your characters were strong, richly drawn and believable. I saw no errors in spelling, grammer or punctuation. I particularly enjoyed the way the grandmother taught the little girl that magic exists in all people and existence - well done! Exellent slant and message in the way the grandmother tested the young man's motive and inner strengths before offering him a 'potion' of a kind where he actually helped himself. Exellent portrayal there of how true magic is performed by witches. A beautifully crafted and enjoyable story I would recommend to anyone.
Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
450
450
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:First thing that jumped out was your tittle line, it would be more of an attention grabber if centered on page with Chapter One spelled out below tittle. Your opening dialogue is interesting, believable and conveys immediate urgency and empathy in the reader. It puts the reader right into the scene. Your plot is good, original with an interesting sequence of events that could flow well into the next chapters. Chapter One does need some editing and poloshing to get the reader there with you wanting to read that next chapter however. I did like your ending to this chapter as one immedialetly wonders how Jeff plans to change the world.
SUGGESTIONS: I found your paragraphs very long and suggest you break them up into shorter paragraphs to hold the rythm you began with, urgent, quick.One way you might do this is to end your first paragraph with the fact the baby was born stillborn. Begin a new paragraph when you describe the hospital. Dr, Oconnell coming on duty could be a third, etc. I'd also suggest editing your second line to end at 'visible in the air.', If we can see his breath, it's cold- but why is it so cold in the hospital? It can be cold and brisk outside, but it wouldn't be so in a delivery room.You might want to re-think that line. A hospital bed cannot be 'numb', it's inanimate, Make this two sentences or delete numb. I also noted a few other inconsistencies that really detract from holding your reader due to confusion and believability. The Doctor might well be thinking he'd wished he'd come in later, but he'd be focused on the situation-he might have those thoughts as inner dialogue as he gave orders to the nurses to remove Jeff or told him he'd have to leave, but it would be a quick flow of impressions. Nurses would not 'throw' the husband into the corridor, they'd escort him there or call orderlies to take him to a waiting room. Nurses don't get shoved into corridors to give people bad news- they'd sue the hospital and the Doctor would be the one to give the patient status, news of death to the husband. Your story is out of sequence here- earlier you said she was dead on the doctor's arrival, then she dies after husband is removed- you need to edit and clarify this- the Doctor's dialogue and facts of death are excellent and he'd give time of death in the room to be recorded by nurses for death certificate, he would also however be the one to go out and give the husband the news and offer condolences, sympathy.
Your story 'Tells' too much of the details, let the reader's imagination work some here too. When Jeff arrives at his burnt out house- let them see, smell and feel the scene through Jeff, maybe through his inner dialogue. Was the fire the cause that led to the wife going into labour or is the burnt out house an added and unexpected surprise for Jeff? You need to clarify here. The neighbor is not just going to hand Jeff an insurance form, he's going to want to know about Jeff's wife, how Jeff is- you can use this section to build emotion, empathy for Jeff in the reader, add drama to your story. No matter what, Jeff isn't going to just get the money the first day, buy a car and boot out of town. He has to bury his wife, wait for insurance money- it's just facts of life. Use that time to show his grief, his inner conflict, his decision to change the world, he talks out loud to his wolf, a great medium for adding these details.
You have the beginnings of a wonderfully exciting tale and novel here. Get the story down on paper, edit, check and re-check your notes to keep story sequence in flow and go for it! This one has great promise and if you let me know when you've edited and added another chapter, I'd be delighted to change my rating and read more of this novel. Keep Writing! SM Ferguson
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