Hi Andrea,
This was written in just 15 minutes?????? WOW!! This was such an enjoyable piece, and the repeating of the coat folding, showed it's significance. I wonder what she actually found in that paper though, how he was murdered, maybe? I like the slow unfolding of events here, and you showed way more than telling, which is also good. Was this written for a contest? Did it win anything?
So, what did they end up making? Pancakes and Tuna minus the syrup? I could actually visualize those two as I read. But batter on the ceiling? what magic did they do there? I hope the family did enjoy their meal that day after all.
Whoa! That was an entertaining, but grotesque scenario. I wouldn't want my loved one slurping blood out of packaged meat! I would love to know more about the couple before the incidents happened. They seem so madly in love, tell me more about that love if you can.
Okay, I'm definitely coming back for more of this. I love the headers here too. I'd rather comment on the stories as singles, instead of reviewing the whole thing.
Well hello there, soon to be birthday girl, that's the portrait of a literal monster husband, but maybe that's what cheating does to someone! I just wish the murder didn't have to happen though, the way it did!
Keep writing, this was another great story as always.
I had tried apple pie quite a number of times, many years ago, and it really is yummy! Is this a poem, 0r a story or somewhere in between? I wish you'd also share a little cooking process of the sweet dish for those who can't cook it.
Curious mind wants to know, was this written specifically for someone? The Washer experience can be so frustrating, I don't know what I'd do without clean clothes? so happy at least you get to do your writing no matter what! This was a relatable, enjoyable poem!
Now that really was a cute one. I enjoyed the firefly part as we don't get to see that much here in our country. Why was the guy so shy, though? Rather the girl was clever with her strategy. I'd love to know what happens next though?
That was both heartwarming and heavily emotional at the same time. I can't imagine a girl killing her whole family killing her family the way it happened here in this story. And losing a best friend was also truly heart wrenching.
Ha ha ha ha! Two little naughty girls trying to hone their magical skills (maybe NOT!) I could actually visualize the girls dancing around the fire. Too bad the parents didn't teach them the pie spell, what would they do if they're hungry the next time?
Hi,
Beauty always lies in the change of perspective, and not really in materialistic things. This story displays that well. As a reader, I’d also like to know what exactly Mala did, that helped the nuns to help others.Also, why was Mala so obsessed with external appeararance?
An unusual and interesting approach to the prompt. I’d love to see willow as a shape shifter, maybe turn into a dragon? I was enjoying the chemistry between Martha and the photographer. Did not quite understand Bright’s role in the story though.
All the best with The Writer’s Cramp
I wonder why the prince did not wish to marry the princess though. And I actually was searching for Nature elements in it, but the genre seemed a little too much into Fantasy instead. Also, just because he wants to be free, doesn’t mean he can hurt a woman’s feelings the way he did.
Awww, poor woman. But old legs? I was wondering how old this woman was, and was also wondering what she looked like. You can try adding some physical or personality details in, if time permits. And also, the poor woman was waiting for a proposal maybe, but this man was so unromantic!
All the best with the writer’s cramp!
The universe is always filled with possibilities, but how to pull up when one feels down? And by the way, you have forgotten to put your line count in the header of the forum post. All the best with the writer’s cramp. Keep writing!
Hi,
I hope you have found a way to keep your health issues at bay. Looks like you had a good day on your birthday. Remember, your mental health also matters, so please take good care of that as well. Looks like you’ve been shying away from writing these days. Please pick up your pen and share some of your wisdom with us.
Oh wow! I never knew feeding carrots could turn a baby orange. I bet that was really scary. Do you by any chance have a photo of her orange days? Did she live on a strict carrots only diet back then? I bet this incident still makes her laugh hard, if you ever retell it.
One of the things I like about your story is the easy to read font. And yes, true inspiration can hit when we least expect it. I just wish Sara all the best with her writing, and hope her story took her a very long way. Is this, by any chance, inspired by true events?
All the best with the Writer’s Cramp!
Thank you for the tiny little trip to the USA. Got a glimpse of quite a few of the states through your story. It made me kinda laugh and cry at the same time. Hey, Alaska has Salmon fish, that’s yummy, right? I do agree about the adapt part, though, just layer up and grab a cup of hot coffee.
All the best with the Writer’s Cramp
I could completely relate to the story as I have more than one similar experience. Today, even I work as a freelance writer, thanks to my teachers. I’m sure being creative since childhood has helped you in more than one way.
Keep writing!
I didn’t know polar bears had black skin, I enjoyed seeing the bears, growing from cubs to adults. I wonder why Ahana Bear was so afraid of humans, though? They’re such gigantic creatures, they can certainly fight back, or can’t they? This was such an enjoyable story, I’m sure children would love it. I’d surely want to know more about Ahana’s adventures as an adult.
Keep writing!
Hi Kiya,
That cute little explorer on your folder lured me in, and I flew onto this one. What I loved most about this story, were the Muslim characters, who possibly migrated into the USA. Being a Muslim, and an international student somewhere in California for a few years, these characters seemed very relatable. I love the way the story unfolded, the little sensory details, the chubby cute little hands swallowed into winter wear, just so cute. I love the positivity this story radiates, life may be rough but do not give up!
If I may suggest, you could add a little bit of mischief from the little kid, and show the young couple’s romance a little more, as you still had some words left.
Keep writing!
Oh my God! Poop! Hahaha, yes, very true, it’s important, yet forgotten at times. And that little boy, so clever, he would never eat his veggies no matter how hard his mother tried! That monster did not seem scary, though! I’d love to know what happened next? All the best with the Writer’s Cramp.
Keep writing!
un: 
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