A very interesting and informative article. I like the way you have covered such a difficult topic in an easy to understand manner. I learnt a lot!
I am glad you are still pursuing your dreams. After all - you have the ideas and the effort, spell checker and proof readers can help with the rest. It is the talent that will take you far, and determination which I see you have
I think this piece is also a very useful addition to your port because then you might get less reviews pointing out your 'silly' mistakes.
I am glad I came across this. Good luck with the writing!
I can't believe even after all I wrote in "Invalid Item" that this happens. It sounds like the deceit was bad. And I am sorry for that. You are right about the predator, he is or will be a very lonely and sick individual. People like that...you have to feel sorry for them and for how low they can fall.
I realised that I have not rated this so here I am. I love the way you opened this up. There are so many ppl who have posted in here. I bet you are glad you created this to catch all the lurkers in your port (well the ones that wanted to be identified anyway )
A very gripping read. I was hooked from the start. You create a whole lot of interest. You don't say if this is true or not. I am guessing it is not. A really good piece. And what a job you did that night. I am sure the kids really appreciated you being there. You tell the story well. I would have liked to have seen a few more descriptions though. Clothing, state of house, more about the kids etc.
I like the lesson in this piece. Very deep. You explain things really well, and I really felt for you when you were sitting in the car. It is not easy watching other ppl hurt. A very difficult job.
I am glad I have found this page because I need a detailed review. I am trying to get published and for writers like me who are looking for serious reviews this is a good idea. Obviously it does not yet have the exposure that the plug page does, but I hope the top reviewers still find it.
I know this was not supposed to be taken seriously. But I think you have wasted your talents writing such offensive material. I have rated this a 2 because you can clearly write and I am sure the quality of your writing deserves some recognition. But really why attack the homeless?
I saw this piece on the side, and was very interested. As a fellow Brit, I am concerned about the homeless problem. Now you, on the other hand are just having a laugh.
I find it offensive that you would use such a vunerable group in this way. I would have rated this piece lower, but as a newbie I wanted to encourage you to write on.
Homeless people neeed our help. It is a serious problem. Not one to be made fun of. To me reading this piece it is highly offensive. I am not sure what other members will make of it. I do hope they read it so you can get a better idea of your audience.
A very uplifting piece. I really enjoyed reading it as I am on the road to try and get published. I am at the beginning of it, but everyone has to start somewhere. I love your enthusiasm, and positive energy.
Well done on getting this published. I hope you brought the frame for the letter
I think anyone going in for 'burn the rejection letter' contest and for The success story group should read this.
Despite the last paragraph this seemed like a very depressing read. I think we all have regrets, but when you regret so much how can you accept what you have. Like if you married late, then you would nver have married the person you did. And if you only wanted one child, what about the other two.
I was perhaps thinking that there would be this big twist at the end...and you would say how you love your life now.
I loved hearing about your dreams...all that travelling etc sounded cool.
Loved this! I wish everything I read was of this high standard. Loved it all. You have a great talent here. Love the humour in this. The little touches of love and kindness were very cute, and the ending ...lol...how cute was that
I like it when someone can tell a story so well. Description is good. The reader really gets involved in the story, and you have us sympathising with the main character.
Just a really good read. You should be published! Keep up the great work.
How sweet is the ending! What a story. You could get this published! I loved it.
Quality writing. A great build of the characters. Nice description. You have all the elements here.
Love the emotion. The characters are interesting. You really feel for Tom.
And how touching was that ending. Yeah sure the Julie thing was a bit predictable, but what she said...ahhh that really touched me. Didn't expect that.
'wearing. 82 and' you might want to write the number out.
I really enjoyed this piece. So insightful. So much fun to read. Very inspiring. Yes your confidence in yourself is inspiring. I don't believe it is laziness. A lot of ppl are lazy, but confidence is something else. You are spot on about old ppl. They are amazing. How comfortable are they in their skin. It is a great age to be at when you just don't care. That kind of self acceptance is priceless.
Your questions were interesting..a few too many perhaps, but I have often thought the same questions. Ever thought of studying psychology?
I am so glad Life writer created her forum otherwise I might never have read this.
A powerful piece. I sense there is a lot more to this piece, but by only touching the surface all the emotions are there.
Many of us have felt both anxiety and fear, and you describe your feelings very well. I hope you are able to move on from the events that led to them. Time and maturity help.
Sweet, but a bit disappointing when it was finally revealed what all the tears were about. I was hoping for a more complicated ending. but you did have me hooked. The story was told very well, although I did think it went on a bit too long in places. A bit of editing might help that. I loved the main character. You really brought him to life. I thought this was very touchingly written. Just a thought but how old is Emily - 15? bit strange to be with her dad at that age.
all the best
Dreams
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A interesting piece...I had to read it out loud and enjoyed it more because of it. It is very different to anything I have ever read, and I especially liked the beginning. I liked the over all meaning - we like the quiet but need the noise, but at points this was very confusing. I would go over this line by line and see if you can add clarity to this piece.
all the best
Dreams
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #798620 by Not Available.
I love this. Very cute. I liked all the descriptions. You really made it easy to imagine. A very enjoyable read. I was wondering how you were going to end this, and it was really good.
Glad you found your passion for writing. It is great when you can have so much fun with just pen and paper. I liked this little piece and the fact that you set it around a home environment. Perhaps add a few more details of that to break up your thoughts. This piece did feel a little unfinished, but the note at the end did help.
I thought this could be better phrased. 'I had entertained not thought into where I was going to tie the loose ends together.'
Hope you continue to enjoy your writing.
Glad you found faith. You tell the story well. I am a Muslim but can appreciate your journey. It reminds me of the sisters group that I use to attend at my local mosque. It was a world away from anything else. Muslim girls my age, and older would gather together. We would talk, learn off each other and discuss. Society needs more of these groups, so like minded people can help each other, whilst also having fun. It is a great way to bond, find faith and have fun. The fact that there were older members (but not too old) meant that we got the correct guidance and supervison.
The questions you ask at the beginning of this piece, I think everyone asks. Even after we find faith, everyone hits ruts in their life. But the blessing is coming back to the truth.
I love this! I am thinking of setting up a new contest and your work came to mind. I wanted ppl to write a dream scene/story about a dream job, environment, building their own house etc. The focus is on detail, and really transporting the reader into their dream world for that short time. Hence your work came to mind. Any feedback on my idea would be appreciated.
The build up in this piece was great. I just loved it when it came to this line 'How can I possibly destroy the moment by starting a chainsaw?' and I agreed with you, and so glad you sat down and told us more of the environment.
I really liked the beginning. You set the scene so well. Temperature, atmosphere etc. I find when I read your work I am transported to a time and place that have never seen and know nothing of. I want to read contest entries like that.
I love this item. Well laid out and even helpful for me (who has been here like a lifetime!). It is a nice summary and tells me not to give up hope, I will get reviewed lol.
I recently found the page that holds all the newbiews work. So I am still learning, and this page has made it really easy for me to support the new members.
Recently I have found it very disheartening that people are not reviewing as much. I have new work that is not getting any feedback! Oh well. This piece is uplifting because you have highlighted many ways to try and get more exposure.
This is heartbreaking. I wish fathers would take more responsibility. But I know it is not all fathers that I speak to because some want to see their children but are forced to stay away.
Is this true for someone you know? It is so sad that this is a common problem that is faced by children. I can't imagine the distress and psychological damage this does.
Was this sent to David?
As a piece the message is clear. The rhyme is a bit shaky but is pretty good, although at the end it goes a bit. Also check for typos. Maybe add some colour.
I know your new. So welcome to this great site. I hope you enjoy it here and get lots of feedback
How sad this is. I believe that it does happen. In society there are unfortunately people who take advanatge of those that are vulnerable. It is sickening. I have heard of it with a disabled friend. She has to pay for home carers. But they have no compassion and expect payment for doing nothing! It is just so sad. I am wondering was there no official board that you could report them to? I hope you are happier with what you do now, and it has not stopped you working in this field.
wishing you all the best
Dreams
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