I love this. This is beautiful. A wonderful reminder. It is amazing how different and how beautiful one thing can be. I know when I am abroad and I am missing home I just look up at the sky, it is such a comfort. It does remind me of God. I feel safe and protected. You have highlighted such a beauty.
I like the style of this. A strong determination shines through this piece. You have done a really good job with this subject. A different approach is refreshing. Nice work.
I can see this piece has a lot of potential. I can't suggest specific improvements, maybe someone else will.
Keep up the writing and thanks for the strong message about accepting that we are all alone and it is OK.
Interesting piece. I could sense the twist coming on. But it makes you think. If she was really dying how much she and others would change.I would have expected that her husband would have been very angry with the lies and perhaps this great lie would have ended in divorce, but your ending is nicer. Strange thinking that even the thought of death has this effect. After all we are all in some ways dying, but yet fail to change our ways. Thought provoking piece. I liked it.
Awesome piece. Written with passion and talent. I very much enjoyed reading this interesting and action packed piece. So sorry about your crew. I do wonder how you do your job, when on the edge you must see more tragedy than most, but yes I am glad you focus on the ones you save.
A very moving piece. I have not read anything quite like this. I am close to my siblings. Most people don't write about them, but if they write about them it is usually thank you notes or such. This is different. It says a lot about you, and the situation your sister finds herself in. If only we all had the sight of observers, but we don't, she doesn't, but thank God she has you.
Salam/ Peace
Thanks for entering the "Invalid Item" . It is great to see an informative religious poem. You have touched on some very important aspects of the month of Ramadan. I thought perhaps the first verse was a question with the rest a more deeper answer. If that is so, maybe think of changing the colour of the verses? This was a well written entry, and a favourite with one of the judges. It was tough choosing between them all but check out the contest forum to find out the winners.
Thanks for entering the "Invalid Item" . I didn't realise I had tears in my eyes until they started falling down my cheeks! Awesome entry. This really spoke to my heart. You told the story so well, it was as if it happened outside my own front door. I love the way that the details of Ramadan were interwoven into this piece. I really liked Charlottes character. It is nice to see Muslims and Non-muslims getting on so well. If you were improving this piece I would suggest that you re-read it and iron out one or two typos that I spotted and then just look at the flow of the story, I think that is one small aspect that can be improved. The winners will be announced in the forum.
Just came to visit your port - great to see an award on this, and you have been winning lots of contest - well done! I agree with the points you make here. If a piece has a lot of mistakes and the content is very poor I simply move on. I usually only give very low ratings to offensive pieces. I much prefer to rate an review - so if it is a good piece then I rate highly, sure it might have some typos but that is where a good review always helps. If you rate low then it only discourages the author and tells others that this piece is not worth reading - not a good message to send out.
This is a great entry - all the best for the contest. I can see the effort that has gone into it, and thanks for adding my name to the many featured. It is a great feeling when one first gets reviews, and I think many like you and I see this place as home.
I think this piece reads better without the first paragraph, apart from that I really enjoyed reading it. It says a lot about someone trying to come to terms with change, not easy for any of us, but inevitable. I like the optimistic message. Kinda one that you need to hear daily to keep you going through the hard times. There is so much joy and pain in life, we can't escape either
I was disgusted to read your thoughts about Islam. You have attacked a most respected Prophet and have said that the Muslims are not supporters of peace and are not to be trusted.
Your other posts are incoherent, and need to be edited. The message about not having sex outside marriage is a good one, but the only thing I understood was the title of the post. Your quotes are not easily understood, and do not stand out. Your points are not made clearly.
Furthermore, apart from yourself there is hardly anyone posting in this forum. Why not put your writing skills to better use. If the ppl are not getting the message then why not try and explain it more clearly, and I would strongly urge you to consider that perhaps you are preaching the wrong message and I am not talking about Christianity but your version of it. You talk a lot about not understanding this and that verse in the Bible - it is my only comfort when you insult my religion. Know the facts before you teach them.
A very interesting piece. Yes one often sits and wonders if others think of them and if they remember the same events that they do. I like the way you have approached the subject. This poem has elegance, and is well written.
I am very sorry for your loss. It has been ever so hard to come to terms with - 25 years is a very long time. I am glad you enjoyed a loving marriage and you must have many happy memories - but still yes as this piece stresses there is the emptyness. may God give you strength with that.
A beautiful reminder to make the most of life. I love your optimism. to not notice the thorns - i only wish i did that. i have battled with depression and the feeling that i am wasting my life for so long. but thankfully, i hope it is not by no means a loosing battle. just a continuous one to keep trying to live a purposeful life. it is so important to live a purposeful life. God will hold us to account for what we did with the time we had.
You might want to look at the last line. It seemed like a poor ending.
I was expecting beautiful scenic pictures so this was a surprise. I am a little disappointed. I think some of them are a little boring. The first few are on the dull side and the W in welcome is not clear at all. I think for the price one has to pay I would expect more. I like the last few 'bits of paper', the scrawlly writing shows enthusiam and belief in the writer and I think anyone would love to receive such a card. Also cards of encouragement are great so this is a nice touch to the site.
Another very well written poem. Suicide is so hard to understand. One explanation i read recently was that it is a persons extreme lack of creativity in problem solving that they can't see any other way out.
interestingly i did an experiment on creative problem solving and although it was only one of these little experiments it found that those that were happier solved the creative problem more times.
i read this one out loud and really enjoyed the smoothly flow of it. yes if only they had someone to turn to. it must be so hard for the ones they leave behind to not be racked with guilt.
May God help those that are suffering, and give us the means to help them.
I really liked this piece. I just had to click on this piece to see where you would go with this one.
I really loved the first two verses. It really is good quality writing and I like the comparisons you have made. The third verse in my opinion was a bit flat and not as striking as the first two. I think more could be done with it, but that is just my opinion.
Beautiful. I loved this. It is amazing how the layout of a poem can really enhance the pleasure in reading it. A really touching piece. A must read. You have described both nature and love here - a real nice combination and so nice that this was written for your husband.
wonderful! this is an awesome piece of writing. i very much enjoyed reading this, and more so because i don't have children lol. it was very amusing and a very creative write.
An interesting topic you have chosen to discuss. I often focus to much on the future so it is great that you can enjoy the present.
I felt the third verse moved away from the topic of time. You begin to discuss yourself and if his was a longer piece then that might flow but here i feel it is jumbbled up with the main topic.
A very moving piece. This sounds like a really desperate situation, and a complicated one. I wish you well with it and I hope God helps you and your family to make the right changes in your life whatever they may be.
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