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Review Requests: ON
793 Public Reviews Given
793 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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376
376
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simply written, with repetition that drives the point home. Never miss a chance to live life the way you want to. I like the explanatory notes; they add context and help us understand your feelings. I am sorry for your loss.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartB*

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377
377
Review of Quiet  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E
Hi, Brian.

A carefully written poem about losing someone, set in autumn. I really like your descriptions and setting, it makes a good picture and shows us how you feel about your loss. I don't know if it's biographical or not, but it's very touching.

Are you quite certain you want to delete this poetry collection? I see almost everything in the folder has won an award; it would be a shame for you to lose the awards and for us to lose your art. If you feel the poetry is too personal, I understand.

Thank you for letting us have it. I wish I'd stopped by sooner to check it out.

Take care and keep writing *HeartO**Leaf2R*

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378
378
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aww, this is so sweet and carries a lot of depth. The two babies are like us, wondering about what they do not know. The concepts of faith and skepticism in the mouths of preborn children is a wonderful idea and a charming way to convey your theme.

I would suggest changing the three genres to ones specific to what you've written so people can find your work. "Spiritual," "religious" and"philosophical" might be three that you can choose instead.

Thank you for sharing this with us. Take care *Smile*

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379
379
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Whoa, that was some story. I saw this bouncing around and didn’t try reading it until you dropped it in Kaden’s forum.

I love the voice you used, it feels very authentic and true. The use of the word “conscious” instead of “conscience” is ok here and gives it a rustic flair. It feels like something from Huckleberry Finn. I appreciate that you mentioned a specific herb, lobelia. Perhaps mentioning a couple of others would add to the realism.

The concept is creative and thoughtful, considering the fine line between healing the way God intended and taking control of what is out of our hands. I was a little confused about the timeline, that the old lady is reminiscing about something from way back, and at first it appeared that the father died naturally without intervention. But I read rather too fast.

A really neat story, I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing, congrats on winning an award for it, and keep writing *Smile*



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380
380
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
No, you're right, Joey. There's nary a whisper of politics here, and I love it that way. It's so much easier to form a friendly community when I'm not worried about getting cancelled because I mentioned a hot button cultural issue. X, for instance (I pretty much left the place right around when the bird died, which was around when I joined WdC) was a site that I never truly felt comfortable on; I found a certain amount of popularity within a niche Frozen fan club, but when I tried to be more expressive of my other hobbies I was mostly ignored. And I couldn't engage in the hot topics because I don't fall along stereotypical party lines and would most likely be cancelled by both sides! (As you might remember I mentioned to you in an email where climate change came up *Smile*)

Anyway, I feel more comfortable and able to express myself here than I've felt anywhere else online. It's a great place, and if there is a silent rule about "no politics" that's fine with me*Laugh*

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject. Keep entertaining enlightening us*HeartT*

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381
381
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good metaphor here, I enjoyed reading it. You handled the rhyme well without making it feel like a nursery rhyme.

The feelings are described in a unique way but they're understandable and universal. I find it hard to criticize poetry and feel like you've done a good job here.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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382
382
Review of The Angel  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A neat little story about a mysterious angel. I enjoyed the matter-of-fact style and the references to distinct locations in England. This could almost be an entry for the "regional" Journey Through Genres contest this month.

I liked that the angel doesn't have a name, but perhaps it would have made more sense if Dave had asked what his name is.

Since "music" is the primary genre, it would have been interesting if music had played a larger role in the story, but it's a good background note anyway. Perhaps your primary genre should be "paranormal" or "spiritual".

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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383
383
Review of Eight-line Poems  
for entry "Silken Wings" 
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ok, makes sense. I think the "silken wings" as applied here would be a reference to the mind of a person restrained. No matter where you are or how little physical freedom you have, your mind is free to go wherever it wants. Which isn't always a good thing.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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384
384
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow. This is a breathtaking story. I love how you incorporated the specific flowers and their meanings and colors. I also love the ending where the boy writes into the book and the library writes back. It's an amazing scenario. I think this would make a beautiful movie.

You have a couple typos, but warning! since the contest is now closed, please don't correct them until the judging is over and the winners have been announced. You will probably receive a review from at least one of the judges, that will include a link to the original contest announcement and you can check that for updates.
• "as if borne their own ideas," maybe I'm not reading it right but it seems a bit unclear.
• "using the library’s as a" I think you dropped a word there.
• "which in a word normally filled" I think it should be "in a world..."

Thank you very much for sharing this impressive work. Take care and keep writing *Heartb*


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385
385
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A fairytale reminder that life isn’t about blindly accumulating wealth, but about focusing your hopes and dreams into goals and advancing yourself wisely with whatever you have.

I appreciated your metaphor and storytelling here, it made sense without being too corny. I might suggest using a larger font, as there are many members here who need it bigger than the default. I know it’s hard to realize how small it comes out to if you’re using mobile. It’s good you picked all three genre categories to use, as that helps it get noticed when people are searching for something to read.

Thanks for sharing this with us, and keep writing *Smile*


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386
386
Review of So Simple  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, this is beautiful. You paint a sweet, simple, blissful relationship in a few well-chosen words that delicately employ all our senses.

I love that the genders and ages are unclear, leaving room for our imagination. The free verse is perfect for the theme and you've arranged the lines well. I can't find anything to criticize about this; it's a real treasure.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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387
387
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A charming and creative use of the prompt. I like how you've incorporated the words and made it your own without just copying the psalm itself.

I'll have to look up the poetic form, I've never heard of it before *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing, keep writing and keep the faith *Smile**Pray*

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388
388
Review of Farewell  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An amusing sports story you've written here. I'm not into sports, so most of it went over my head, but I can appreciate the characters and atmosphere.

You should probably rate it 13+ for the couple of small words used, but it's no big deal.

I thought it was well done, detailed and realistic.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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389
389
Review of Malls next step  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I found this when I accidentally tapped the Random Read and Review button *Laugh*

You've created something really pretty here, a vignette of a lady with a happy secret getting ready to share it on paper. I like it a lot. It makes me wonder what her story is and what happens next.

Thank you for sharing this; I look forward to finding more of your work here. Keep on writing *Smile**HeartT**Quill*

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390
390
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An adorable little story taking three common housecleaning objects and personifying them as they go about their work. I thought it was charming and fun.

I noticed some grammar errors in these sentences:
• "as to where to find the lair of Dustbunny was." There's an extra word there, you can decide which one *Smile*
• "once again in the closet of preparation for the nigh,t" a simple typo and perhaps a change of words is required here.
• "Frufrubottom's, surprise and terrified delight, dust, and cobwebs covered..." Too many commas here.

This was a great story, I really enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing*HeartB*

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391
391
Review of In the Year 2525  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

An amusing little political satire. Glenn Beck wouldn't be alive in 2525, but we get the idea.

You've painted the scenario in few words and conveyed the situation pretty clearly. I thought it was funny and fairly clever.

I would suggest turning it into a full story of some kind, maybe telling how the US got to that state of things, or telling how someone makes an attempt to fix it. But it's ok the way it is.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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392
392
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings *Smile*

I wondered if anyone ever posts things they create using AI. This is a beautiful story, thanks for sharing. Since the AI wrote it, there isn't much to correct or suggest.

I really liked the theme and the way the community is described. It's a very pretty story. I noticed there isn't any dialogue in it.

Have a lovely day*Heartb*

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393
393
Review of Affected  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A vague and gloomy poem that manages to say a lot without saying almost anything specific. It seems to deal with unpleasant memories of someone who hasn't treated you right.

Perhaps a bit more detail would be helpful, but it allows us to fill in our own reasons for angst and this identify with the words.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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394
394
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Vivid words to describe the impact of a terrible event taking place within the family.

You convey emotions by showing more than telling, which is excellent. I can feel your pain and anguish.

Perhaps a mention of what exactly happened would help, but it hardly matters. What matters is the reaction.

Thanks for sharing, keep writing, and I hope you find peace after whatever happened *HeartB*

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395
395
Review of A NECK STUCK OUT  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I greatly enjoyed this little poem. The theme is excellent and showcases the narrator's good intentions and considers the world's lack of care for one another.

Perhaps it could be improved by switching the words in the 15th line to "stick their neck out..." Also it may make more sense to use the plural "necks."

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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396
396
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh good grief Joey, this is hilarious *Rolling* I love how you brought in those whopping numbers to show us how impressive of a site this is for hanging in there for so many years... And then you quickly descend into jolly nonsense about doggy doo.

An amusing tribute to the place we call our creative writing home.
Here's wishing WDC many more happy years!

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT*

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397
397
Review of Comfort  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting social contemplation on the brain's way of processing and dealing with one's grief over the death of someone.

I might recommend being a little more technical, but it's understandable and universal. I would also recommend picking out two other genres for your item, as it will help it be discovered on the site. Psychology and Relationship would be good additional genres.

Thanks for sharing and take care.

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398
398
Review of 40 word poems  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Short and sweet. You've captured the essence of a deep and lasting relationship in forty words.

Easy format, smooth flow. Simple and enjoyable. I like reading poems about love and devotion: who doesn't?*Laugh*

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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399
399
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A fun, rollicking little tale.

I think it's interesting you use a recurring character in your works; that's actually not a bad idea. A lot of my characters might as well all have the same names.

It could stand to have a little more drama, and it brings up the question as to why the story was told when the parting words are "tell no one" *Laugh*

Good work, keep writing and thanks for sharing *Smile*

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400
400
Review of Mosaic Masochism  
Review by
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, I checked this out because it was featured in the Noticing Newbies newsletter.

I figured you’d probably kill off the main character, which is always rather difficult to do logically when writing in the first person. I found his sardonic style amusing and realistic. He also displayed great courage in diving into that mess. Your scientific concepts are a bit foggy, but the narrative is gripping and horrifying.

I noticed some basic editing errors in the text, such as small font, oversized paragraphs, and not properly paragraphing dialogue. Each new quotation needs a new line, and paragraphs should be no longer than five or six sentences separated by a space. “As far as well can tell“ should be “as far as we can tell.”

Thanks for sharing, keep writing, and welcome to Writing.com*Smile*

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