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Review Requests: ON
793 Public Reviews Given
793 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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426
426
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Cool stuff here. Thanks for sharing this helpful template; I doubt I'll ever decide to run a contest, but if I do I'll keep this in mind. That's if I can wade through the Writing ML*Rolling* I need to get into coding. I'm behind the times*Laugh*

Keep up the good work... And don't forget to check in on your Review Spot requests *Smile*

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427
427
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is cute and thoughtful. I like the idea of a cat and mouse growing old together and learning to play with each other. I can see them curled up by the fireplace after an evening of fun - perhaps shocking the cat's owners *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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428
428
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Whoa. That was unexpected. Just when I was beginning to agree with and sympathize with the poor lonely conservative accountant, he goes and murders his ex. Wow.

You've skillfully crawled inside the mind of someone who appears calm, logical and civilized, and revealed the inner depravity lurking beneath the surface. He must be a real psychopath, because he was able to convince us he's in the right, right up until the last sickening moments.

Thanks for sharing. This was quite unsettling, in a good way I suppose. I see you filled in all three genres, which is always recommended, and gave it a suitable rating. Keep writing!

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429
429
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Whoa. That's telling. Who's really the toxic one here? You've painted a sharp picture in flash fiction from the first person POV, which I think is unusual.

I know I would have a hard time putting up with a guy who's always complaining about my friends. It wasn't a jealousy situation, he just couldn't stand this woman and basically presented his fiance with a choice: cut one of us out of your life. I feel pretty sure she chose the right person to cut out *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT**Quill*

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430
430
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi again! You're doing great. I see some kind of exciting twist brewing in the future. Maybe Marco is related to Tory?... By the way, you named him "Tory" for the first three chapters and now he's "Troy." Probably autocorrect.

You've done a good job of giving us the main character's lonely and haunted backstory and forming the personalities of the other figures.

As usual, I can't wait for the next installment.

Take care and enjoy your writing process*Quill* I'm glad you're here*Smile*

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431
431
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I liked this a lot; nowadays with the Coronavirus on everyone's mind I assumed you were basing it on that, but I see this was published in 2014.

It sums up the basic Christian position pretty well, although I think I take issue with the statement that Jesus didn't know he was not of this world. I thought he said to his followers "my kingdom is not of this world."

Thanks for sharing. Keep the faith and keep writing *Smile**Pray**Heartb*

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432
432
Review of Ladybug Beach  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so cute*Smile* *Ladybug* I'm proud of you for writing a poem this great at such a young age. You got the rhyme and meter down pat, and the narrative flows nicely and makes perfect sense.

Thanks so much for following in your parents footsteps and joining in the fun on WDC*BigSmile* Remember, keep on writing *Quill*

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433
433
Review of Crystal Clear  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It must be rather difficult to disclose such a close and vulnerable part of you.
Dreams are amazing things... We often learn from them or sometimes just sort things out inside our heads.

I noticed a couple of minor typos, but nothing big. Your descriptions are excellent and set us well in the different times and places.

Have a wonderful day and good luck on your contest entry *Smile*


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434
434
Review of Save Lives  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Ah, this is excellent. We all need to remember this while driving. It's a terrible thing to see irresponsible drivers who don't care about all the other people on the road.

Thanks for putting this together for us, it's brief and to the point and uses the prompt well.

Take care and keep writing *Smile*

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435
435
Review of Moon's Glance  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I may find it hard to expound upon haiku, but this is lovely. I'm not big on counting syllables, but whether this counts out or not it's quite pretty. The internal rhyme of "breezes" and "trees" adds a nice touch, and you've captured the photographic essence of the scene very well.

Thanks for sharing and write on*Smile*

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436
436
Review of island time  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Good work here. I love the little pun on "morning" and "mourning" at the beginning; at first I was going to point it out as a mistake but that's silly, of course you know what you're doing there*Laugh*

It's clever that each verse begins with a mention of time, but the time is not linear; it begins with two weeks and then moves to ten days before extending further.

Thanks for sharing, this is a nice poem that paints a picture in few words. Keep writing and congratulations on your Quill nomination *Smile*

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437
437
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

Sorry to bother you with a double review, but I just wanted to add something I feel is important.

It would be interesting if you could develop Tory's character some more, dive into his thoughts and show us a little of his past. Why was he driving his motorcycle alone with no particular destination? Does he now regret not having any family who cares about him and realizes he's missing from the world of humans? (And for that matter, does someone notice the abandoned motorcycle and trace it to him?) A theme could arise of one needing to develop connection and community with others to preserve their sense of humanity. And forming Tory more fully will help us root for him as a human being, more than just a pitiful subject of someone's mad science experiment.

Glad to see you're back with the next episode.

This is taking an alarming turn. I'm at the edge of my seat. Your writing is grim and unsettling and leaves me wondering how the central conflict could possibly be resolved in a satisfactory way. It seems as if someone's going to be killed rather unpleasantly if this doesn't stop soon.

Thanks for sharing and keep on writing. It's definitely something I'll want to keep up with *Smile*

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438
438
Review of Wheat penny  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this delicate, lightly traced poem with us. We visualize the poet speaking to a child about a certain rare penny and contemplating their uncertain future, governed by forces beyond our control. I especially like the line "no government can devalue you." It speaks volumes.

I'll have to check out your portfolio *Smile*
Have a wonderful day*Heartb*

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439
439
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Glad to see you're back with the next episode.

This is taking an alarming turn. I'm at the edge of my seat. Your writing is grim and unsettling and leaves me wondering how the central conflict could possibly be resolved in a satisfactory way. It seems as if someone's going to be killed rather unpleasantly if this doesn't stop soon.

Thanks for sharing and keep on writing. It's definitely something I'll want to keep up with *Smile*

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440
440
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, since your title asks for revision advice, here are some friendly ideas.

First, I find it quite long-winded and repetitive. You use "family" 36 times and the phrase "lasting memories" 4 times, and I noticed the bottom paragraph, after "those who have yet to be," is entirely a jumbled repeat of previous sentences.

Second, I'm not sure what your goal is in writing it; if it's intended as a college level persuasive essay, you should organize it better, with a beginning (thesis) statement, some research and citations to defend your argument, a concluding paragraph, etc. If it's a more casual piece of writing, it could still be helped by paring down some of the repetition and using guiding/transitional phrases such as "next" "also" or "in addition" to separate and navigate the paragraphs.

Also, spaces between paragraphs would help it to appear neater and not so overly long.

I appreciate your sincerity; the warmth of your feelings about the issue at hand comes through the writing. Just a bit of tidying and polishing up and it's an excellent piece.

Thanks for being brave enough to ask for advice; take care and keep writing and sharing *Smile**Quill**HeartB*

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441
441
Review of A Double Dog Dare  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I found this featured in this week's "action/adventure" newsletter.
A quick and cleverly written tale about two colleagues who find themselves in an escalating competition to come out on top. This culminates in them attempting something they're both terrified of and coming out alive and with a better understanding of each other.

I thought the story was funny and the characters were cute. The narrative flowed smoothly and simply. A highly recommended read.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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442
442
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this a lot. It makes me curious to know what sort of adventures he might have as a lighthouse keeper, or if he's merely a vignette.

I see you subtitled it "my main character" so that may mean the story continues. If so I would be happy to read it.

Your description is compelling and captures the essence of an elderly man standing bravely against the wild seas.

Thanks for sharing and congratulations on that lovely award icon*Smile*

(Sorry for the double, I forgot to add my Angel Army signature at the bottom*Laugh* )

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443
443
Review of The Storm  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simple and well written, this six line poem conveys the danger and strength of a tornado without actually using the word. It flows freely and uses onomatopoeia and alliteration skilfully to paint the scene.

Thanks for sharing and also for including the prompt. Keep up the good work *Smile*

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444
444
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this a lot. It makes me curious to know what sort of adventures he might have as a lighthouse keeper, or if he's merely a vignette.

I see you subtitled it "my main character" so that may mean the story continues. If so I would be happy to read it.

Your description is compelling and captures the essence of an elderly man standing bravely against the wild seas.

Thanks for sharing and congratulations on that lovely award icon *Smile*


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445
445
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I appreciate your honesty in recounting your childhood experiences as a "circus boy." It had me chuckle a couple times at those silly boyish antics.

Your spell check is working great, and grammar is pretty good, but the sentences tend to be rather long and disjointed. However, one understands your theme well enough, and being autobiographical, the stream of consciousness style adds to the overall feel.

Thanks for sharing and keep the faith *Pray* *Heartb*

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446
446
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey, good work here! I'm happy to see chapter 2. You've swung the perspective around to someone who could turn out to be the unwitting hero and supplied him with a scatterbrained lady who drops unnerving clues. I'm quite pleased with this episode.

Can't wait to see what happens next*Smile* This looks like a great story. I hope it has a happy ending; I feel bad for poor Tory.

Congratulations on your progress and keep on writing!

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447
447
Review of Chinese New Year  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A well written acrostic free verse poem about celebrating the new year and looking forward.

It could perhaps have been improved by being more culturally relevant to the Chinese New Year specifically, but as a poem about new beginnings in general with the added bonus of being an acrostic, it's good.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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448
448
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A grim and alarming portrayal of the hellishness of someone's mental pain. The descriptions are detailed and creepy, and the metaphor is so strong we wonder if they are literally in hell or if it's all in their disturbed mind.

Well written and drives home the theme in an unforgettable way. Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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449
449
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings from a newbie here!

I enjoyed your language and metaphor, it’s deep and memorable. The resilience of a solitary flower growing in an unnatural place is expounded upon and built into a touching musing upon a difficult life, culminating in the expression of the desire to rise above it all and find something better.

Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work *Smile*

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450
450
Review of Beholder's Bloom  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I found this on the “please review” page. these are just my humble thoughts and ideas about your poem.

I admire your vocabulary, but I find it somewhat difficult to picture exactly what is being described here. What is the significance of the flower sprouting from the person’s hand? Is it one flower in one hand, or a plant growing between two people, or what? And why is it so difficult to keep the flower safe? If it was given enough time to appear in the first place… and why is it so important to keep it alive? What exactly is the flower a metaphor of? And why does the flower have to change its ways for survival? Wouldn’t it be easier for the people nurturing it to simply take better care of it?

I’m sorry, that was probably too many question marks *Laugh* *Blush* I really like your basic concept, theme and imagery here, it’s striking and memorable. If we could just have a little more clarification of what the point is, that would be lovely.

I look forward to checking out your portfolio. Take care, thanks for sharing and being brave enough to request reviews, and keep on writing *Smile* *HeartB*

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