*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/huntersmoon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/27
Review Requests: OFF
3,120 Public Reviews Given
3,261 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
I'm good at...
Short Stories and better at Poetry
Favorite Genres
All
Public Reviews
Previous ... 23 24 25 26 -27- 28 29 30 31 32 ... Next
651
651
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi emerin-liseli

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Naughty Santa Claus"  [13+]. Congrats on being in this month's Comedy Newsletter *Laugh*.

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
Yep *Bigsmile* Naughty Santa indeed.

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
Very cleverly done, combining many of the familiar Christmas themes (such as the song) into a story that left me laughing. Your unique "insights" provide a wonderful explanation of Santa - the man LOL.

*NoteG* Content:
You tell of Santa's reluctant preparations for another year of Christmas as he bemoans the past and what's been lost. A compelling tale that will keep the reader moving along ... and then asking for more.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
Sorry - you want help? Don't write to doggone well *Laugh* I saw absolutely nothing to comment on.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* A wonderfully humorous tale that will bring a smile to a few readers - and a laugh to many more. Thank you for sharing your talent and eclectic imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1626620 Unavailable **
652
652
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hiya Jim...

Wickedly funny - well done. My sincere appreciation for a good laugh today. *Laugh*

Ken
653
653
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Closch ..

Well, this was definitely a dark tale ... but well written and interesting. The bit of wry humor at the end was just the perfect touch too. *Smile*

If I may - I think this was a step up from yesterday. It felt like you were more comfortable in writing this (or perhaps it's just my imagination LOL).

Well done.

Ken
654
654
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hiya B ...

My but you do have a dark side, don't you *Laugh* A "passion play" commentary on the times we live in - excellent tale, excellent telling. You really should take a few of these and expand them. I know I use this forum to plant the seeds of stories and then use them to grow larger tellings later.

I appreciate how you used the prompts in interesting and creative ways *Smile* There's nothing I can say but bravo. Well done.

Ken
655
655
Review of Mind Control  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Hyperiongate

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Mind Control"  [13+]. I thought I'd do a more formal review this evening LOL.

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
"There's more than one way to skin a ... hamster" *Laugh*

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
Very nicely done - I quite enjoyed this tale of telekinesis and desperation. It was original and kept my attention through out.

*NoteG* Content:
You write of Leonard - a young man who was induced to volunteer for an experiment. How was he to know that the Professor was a nut case? You use the magician's ruse of diverting our attention in one direction then producing a wonderfully clever twist at the end. Excellent!

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
Nary a comma out of place - great style and use of writer's conventions.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* I don't which I like more - reading your imaginative tales or stepping back and trying to see how your mind works LOL. In either case, it's always entertaining. Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1695763 Unavailable **
656
656
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi BScholl

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Working the System (2nd Place)"  [E]. I thought I'd do a more formal review this evening LOL.

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
Ahh - a tender tale of the bond between master and pet ... with a bit of blackmail thrown in *Laugh*

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
An imaginative and entertaining write - and a wonderful encapsulation of human nature.

*NoteG* Content:
You write about Vince - a would be space explorer - and his attachment to his pet. I found it very believable that he would resort to blackmail to keep the bond intact. Nice use of descriptive language and great dialogue. Very well done.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
Sold form and use of writing conventions. The only error I saw was in the next to last line where you wrote "I was not suppose to divulge it?" Grammatically, it should be supposed and really wasn't a question *Smile* I know - picky, picky, picky LOL but your technique is so solid that I had to resort to this level of detail to find anything to comment on. *Laugh*.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* A really creative use of the prompts and a very entertaining read. Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1695763 Unavailable **
657
657
Review of It's Time To Play  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi cheryl losch

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "It's Time To Play"  [E].

*CheckB* First Impression/Thoughts:
A very cute and gentle story - perfect for the young and young at heart *Smile*

*CheckR* Creativity/Impact:
It brought a warm smile to me. I happen to own both hamsters and mice as pets so I found this believable *Laugh*. I will admit, I was hoping the prompts would generate something a bit more "out of the box" but I can't fault you for going where they led. Very nicely done.

*CheckB* Content:
You tell of Charlie and Scat and thier adventure into the "real" world ... and the discovery they make *Smile*. I thought you did remarkably well - given the word limits - in building the story and leading us to the ending (no pun intended LOL).

*CheckV* Technical Notes:
For the most part, your form was excellent and followed story conventions. I did notice that at the 3rd from the last paragraph you wrote "Lot’s of good food here..." There's no apostrophe needed in lots *Smile* but other than that - really well written.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* and a *Halfstar* I found this very likeable and quite enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1695763 Unavailable **
658
658
Review of Inevitably  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello stranger ... *Smile*

I loved this. It was like looking into a hall of mirrors with images of yourself going on forever LOL. As ususal, your form is superb, there were no errors that I could see, and the ending a "Hyperiongate Special" LOL.

Thank you for your entry today - an terrifically enjoyable read. Hope to see you back tomorrow!

Ken

PS GPs going back LOL
659
659
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi B *Smile*

I really liked this morality play *Smile* I was sure this was heading in the Dorian Grey direction but you made a great "U" turn on me *Laugh* Your form is great, there were no errors that I could see, and I think the twist made a clever ending. Great work!

Thank you for your entry today - a very enjoyable read. Hope to see you back tomorrow!

Ken

PS Yes, I'm returning your GPs *Smile*
660
660
Review of Caffeine  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Helene - Missing being here!

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Caffeine"  [E].

*CoffeeG* First Impression/Thoughts:
My favorite subject *Laugh* As a coffee-holic, I can identify with the last two lines.

*CoffeeB* Creativity/Impact:
An Ode (even if it's written in senyru form) is always unique since it reflects the author's love (or hate *Smile*) for the subject. I like how you managed to relate it your relationship as well - truely, coffee is a part of the fabric of our lives (LOL - no pun intended - I spill occasionally too).

*CoffeeR* Content:
You write of coffee - and, bless you, you involve the senses! Well done. From aroma to taste to the tactile - you wrap the reader in the emotional relationship of coffee to each day.This was pretty darn near perfect. My rating decrement (half-star) is really just my opinion that the opening stanza seems to imply that water yields the aroma ... rather than "bubbles to boiling point" you could introduce the magical relationship between water and coffee and that would tie into "a gift from my love". Just my thought.

*CoffeeT* Technical Notes:
You note this as a senyru "chain" (which, in modern haiku really isn't distinguished from the traditional nature focus) and you've kept true to the form. I saw no errors so I'll give you no comments - other than a well done! *Smile*

*CoffeeP* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* and a *Halfstar* A most enjoyable read and a sure hit with those of us addicted to the nectar of the Gods *Smile* Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1695763 Unavailable **
661
661
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nicely done - good ending! I think you did a great job of capturing the excitement of this story in the limited space.

Now - as to format. There are some conventions to stroy writing (that I've learned the hard way LOL) that would really enhance the story - make it more readable. Since this is so short, I've taken the liberty of editing so you can see what I mean:

I went flying through the tree's feeling the wind choke me, but I could not stop. I had to get to my father before it was too late.

“Your You’re going to regret this,” my sister yelled to me as we continued to run. I thought you were flying *Smile*

“No, I'm not! I have to see dad,” I yelled to her. I had to slow myself down or I was going to fall over flat before the night was over.

“You know there they’re after you right,” she questioned me as I shot a glare back in her direction and almost tripped over a rock.

“Yes, I know. Don't remind me,” I warned. Just as I said that I heard a high pitched scream as something big and black flew overhead and then disappeared.

“There They’re closer, !!!!!!!” my little sister exclaimed frantically.

“I know,” I yelled back as 5 of these big black creatures landed in front of my face.

My little sister looked at me as I pulled my sward sword from my sheath. “David...are you strong enough to fight them all of by yourself?”

I looked at her as one of the beasts started moving forward. “I will have to be....duck,” I yelled as she instinctively dropped her head just as one of the things made a swipe at her. I quickly stabbed one of the “things” before it came any closer and it dropped to the ground. Another one came forward and soon had me pinned to a tree by the sword. What sword? Did the creatures have swords – it seemed that you had implied they were attacking with claws. *Smile*

“I told you, you'd regret this,” my little sister said as she turned into ont one of the big black creatures herself.

I hope you found this useful - and I look forward to reading your next entry.

Ken
662
662
Review of Reflection of Us  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent story and I quite enjoyed the twist at the end - I think you did really well with this.

The story was smooth, the detail sufficient to create the images needed to put me into the story, and the humor (and wisdom *Laugh*) of the witch just the right touch to make this entertaining.

Hmmm - the only thing I noted was that you referred to the witch as a "sorcerer" which (as a layman) I would associate with male rather than female (witch).

Great job!

Ken
(and yes, I'm returning your GPs - I should be paying you LOL)
663
663
Review of Beyond Soap  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
LOL - A great twist that sent waves of pain through me. As always, I love the wry humor you infuse every write with. With this one, it's closeness to reality made it both funny and poignant.

Excellent story - hope your book(s) are going well enough that you continue to pop in now and then and brighten my day *Smile*

Ken
664
664
Review of The Journey Home  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Bravo Jace ...

I salute you for using the last half of the opening line - it never occurred to me LOL - and based on their "definition" perfectly fine. You are a creative and imaginative poet!

As far as I can tell, you followed the form perfectly, wrote a creative and well flowing piece. I'd say you've outdone yourself for a final effort *Laugh*.

Thanks once more for a most enjoyable read.

Ken
665
665
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Shi *Smile*

What a terrific write! I know a little of the history and this was a brilliant interpretation of the prompt.

On the positive side: I love that you worked in history on this. You retold the story of these brave men and women in a wonderful form.

On the not so positive: while there is no specified meter for a Rondeau, each line should have the same meter. You were close but off in a few lines, varying from 6 to 9. The rhyme is aabba aabR aabbaR which means there are only two rhymes in the poem. All a's must rhyme and all b's must rhyme.

Regardless of form, this was an excellent interpretation and a very enjoyable read. Well done!

Ken
666
666
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Cleverly done - a great take on the prompt. The concept of sharing without regard to what others think, the idea of an open heart - many layers of thought in this.

Really - an enjoyable read and a thought provoking write. Excellent work, Jace ..

Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination!

Ken
667
667
Review of Help The Homeless  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi SS -

Congratulations! This was the hardest form I've ever had to do - and you make it look easy *Smile* I love the approach and subject you undertook in this. Your descriptions are vivid and really bring the plight of the homeless into sharp relief.

I think you did really well with a difficult form. Thank you for sharing your passion and your talent with me.

Ken
668
668
Review of Money  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi SS...

A unique view of the prompt -- I really like that you wrote of your feelings about the image rather than just about a pink pig *Laugh*. Your form is perfect and your subject well expressed. I will admit, however, that you seem to be quite the optmist*Smile*. "Hit the lottery" indeed *Laugh*

A very enjoyable read. Well done.

Ken
669
669
Review of Solicitude  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lucky...

A unique view of the prompt -- I really like that you wrote of your feelings about the image rather than just about a pink pig *Laugh*. Your form, however, needs just a bit of work on line 4 - which has (by my count) 9 rather than 7 syllables.

Your subject is well expressed and the read was enjoyable. *Smile*.

Ken
670
670
Review of Destination  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done, Koyel. Congratulations on the recognition. I look forward to reading more your insightful and powerful words.

Ken
671
671
Review of Life  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent take - such a poweful image should have powerful words and that's just what you delivered. (Don't share - but this was my pick for Day 1 winner *Smile*). Great job and congratulations on the recognition.

Ken
672
672
Review of Tears  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sheba

My name is Ken - and I'm returning the kindness you showed in looking at my poem and leaving me your thoughts. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Tears"  [E].

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
Hmmm, judging by your write and the choice of poems you've read, I'd say someone needs a smile *Smile*

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
I like the use of a repetitive refrain - it allows you to look at differing aspects in meaning and tone as you expand on each line. That said, your words are terse - and I'm left to explore my own feelings rather than share and understand yours. Consider expanding your prose a bit if you're writing for others. They don't have access to your emotions except through your words.

*NoteG* Content:
You write of "feeling lifes grip." Obviously, life is holding you a bit tight right now *Smile* My only comment is that this is a sad poem about what has made you feel this way ... but the last refrain shows a bit of hope. Perhaps (just a thought) the tears don't need to fall at the end? Hey *Laugh* - it's your poem and your feelings - this is just my reaction to it. Take it for what it's worth.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
No errors in grammar, spelling, or form. Nicely done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* I for one enjoyed this and really think you have promise - Of course, it would help if you'd post a few more *Laugh* but that will come with time. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1695763 Unavailable **
673
673
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi VictoriaMcCullough

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Portrait of Osceola"  [E] on behalf of the Native American Picture Prompt Contest.

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
Nuggets of gold in a stream *Smile*

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
A bit meandering - I had a hard time picking up the thread of meaning most likely because I wasn't familiar with your references. There is a beauty in your words and images but without context, some of it was lost on me.

*NoteG* Content:
Now, Osceola I was familiar with *Smile* but as I read deeping into this rich tale, I didn't see a connection except in a general sense - native americans. I love your approach but some editing would benefit this. For example, you write "The revealing marks of the Indian face, pressed beautifully parched in the hot heat ... " A comma after "beautifully" would have improved clarity. "pressed beautifully parched" made me stop and decipher what was being said. You want the reader to flow with the story. The sadness of our collective loss was apparent and your story was successful in the telling. As Walt Whitman said, "Be curious, not judgmental " and I did find that your story made me want to know more.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
No errors in grammar but some editing would help the flow. Perhaps for those of us who are ignorant of the great poets *Blush* a few notes to put this context would help. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* A nice telling - even if some of the subtleties were lost on me *Laugh*. Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1695763 Unavailable **
674
674
Review of Faded memories  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very emotional, very dark (like the prompt *Smile*)

A wonderful take on the image. Nice use of the form which you did perfectly (except for L2/S2 - maybe add "Her ... heart")

I was with you all the way to the last line. In my mind, "destroyed by deciet" was the clincher ... Maybe (just my humble opinion) you should refine the last line so the power of those 3 words forms the climax of the poem? A thought.

Thank you for sharing your talent (which is underscored here) and your imagination (reflected in this tale of sadness) with me today. Best of luck!

Ken
675
675
Review of Zephyr Cove  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Duchess Laughing Lemurs

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Zephyr Cove"  [E].

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
A delightful fantasy - sure to bring a smile to anyone who reads it.

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
Very clever write. You kept the best for last *Laugh* - nice twist at the end.

*NoteG* Content:
You write of lovers - Saul and Andrea - and his secret life that 's about to be opened. Nice set up, building the suspense until the final curtain is raised - and the ultimate twist is revealed.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I saw nothing to comment on. A well crafted and edited story.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* A very imaginative story that's sure to give a smile to anyone reading it. Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today!

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1695763 Unavailable **
1,019 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 41 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/huntersmoon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/27