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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/huntersmoon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/23
Review Requests: OFF
3,125 Public Reviews Given
3,266 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
I'm good at...
Short Stories and better at Poetry
Favorite Genres
All
Public Reviews
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551
551
Rated: E | (5.0)
A really great entry. We hope to see you back this month!

Happy New Year.

Ken
552
552
Review of Home Fires  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
One of my all time favorite forms! *Laugh* You should also check out the Inverted Refrain and the Lento - both a challenge and a joy to write! I'll admit it - I'm a form junkie LOL and love the challenge of finding the beauty in each. If you're a form lover, you should check out "A Poem A Day Contest " Open in new Window. which will challenge you with 5 or 6 different forms a week. Lots of fun *Laugh*

I loved the story you wove into this. Like you, I chafe at mimicing words to describe an image but rather look for the story that's contained in it. I thought this was much better than HM material - but I'm not the judge and as we both are aware, you never can tell what they're looking for.

Nonetheless, a really well done Trijan Refrain and I appreciate the work that went into it ... and the story that came out *Smile*

Well done! With wishes for you for a new year with maximum happiness ... and minimum drama *Laugh*

Ken
553
553
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Princess Megan Rose Author Icon

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "For The Love Of A Troll" Open in new Window. [ASR] on behalf of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
A wonderfully fun story in the mold of classic fairy tales. A sure winner for children (of all ages *Laugh*)

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
While this follows the pattern of traditional tales, you've added a few twists (such as the troll who is not a troll) that keep a freshness about the story.

*NoteG* Content:
You tell the tale of Princess Colleen and Davon - star crossed lovers who find that love does conquer all. The foil - Andre - is just evil enough and the heros of the tale are just good enough. You've found a great balance in the story. I personally enjoyed the introdution of Benson *Smile* since all great stories include animals! LOL. A sweet story, well told.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I saw a few minor blemishes - nothing that would deter the story or the pleasure received from reading it. I'll email you an annotated copy with a few suggestions.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* You have a talent for telling stories and while this one seemed geared toward a younger audience, it recalls the tales that we grew up with and brought a smile of rememberance. Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1802302 Unavailable **
554
554
Rated: E | (5.0)
"When I reach home's warmth, I smile" much like your flowing words made me smile this morning. *Smile*

Beautifully done!

Have a wonderful holiday!

Ken
** Image ID #1833363 Unavailable **
555
555
Review of Once Again  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nicely done - and I love the use of internal rhymes in the final four stanzas. It really intensifies the emotions and just makes the flow feel so much more natural. I think if the meter was more consistent, the overall flow could be improved but even at that - I found this very engaging and thoughtful.

Great write, great entry *Smile*

Happy Holidays,

Ken
** Image ID #1833363 Unavailable **
556
556
Review of Pandemic  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hmmmm Thought provoking but there's (to me and you know I'm strange LOL) a streak of dark humor in this that left me smiling. You always come up with a unique vision of the world and always make me think. Shame on you *Laugh*

Obviously you've incorporated both the elements of free-verse as well as structural elements made popular by Ezra Pound. Still, I look for a relationship between position and message. The centering of "DO NOT PANIC" doesn't seem to add to the message. The capitalization, the repetition - all great elements.

Just my humble opinion. An enjoyable read, nonetheless. Keep writing and I'll keep thinking (in spite of the discomfort LOL)

Happy Holidays,

Ken
** Image ID #1833363 Unavailable **
557
557
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a terrific write. I saw this form posted in today's Poem a Day and went to Google it - and here you are *Laugh*

I love the power and message you were able to squeeze into this tiny form. Great job - great poem!

Ken *Smile*
558
558
Review of FINAL FLAME  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1647708 Unavailable ** What a great story and homage to those who risk all for neighbors and strangers. Bravo, Julie - an inspired write!

Ken
559
559
Review of Overcoming Fears  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good form! This was an iteresting form, I thought, but the awkward and short syllable counts made it harder to really get a flow going. You didn't seem to have that problem *Laugh* although line 6 is a good example of what I mean. "The Divine will tame my fears" versus "My fears the Devine will tame." Still, overall, you made it work. *Thumbsup*

I like your statement of faith and I loved the self-responsibility tone. We can't just sit idly by waiting in God's welfare line *Smile* - it's up to each to "pick up the pace!" Amen *Smile*

Nicely done.

Ken
560
560
Rated: E | (5.0)
It seems the even small nonsense
can raise one's hackles in defense
and keep us hanging in suspense.
It's just pretense, it's just pretense!

*Smile* Well done and a fun read!

All the best,

Ken
561
561
Review of The Perfect Car  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
LOL 5 *Star* for optimism! If you can come up with that car, you'd be worshipped by the commuters around here *Laugh*

Thank you for the fantasy and the smile. Very enjoyable!

Ken

Hmmm - look at line 4 - I think it should be "floats"
562
562
Review of NO TIME  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Deanna *Smile*

Nicely done! I'm not a big fan of free-verse (sue me, I'm a rhymer *Laugh*) but this form gives such a great visual and you've used it to perfection. I can see the sand falling through the hour glass in it's shape until ... it runs out - late!

This is a great example of matching form to subject and another reason why contests such as yours are important. Great poem well executed!

Ken
563
563
Review of Ain't she my kin  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi CREEK Author Icon

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Ain't she my kin" Open in new Window. [E].

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
So true! Although I quiver at the use of "ain't" *Laugh* I love the message.

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
You highlight all the wonderful aspects of nature that we take for granted each day, posing her as the nuturer, the sustainer, the mother who gives to her children and goes without. An important message and one that should resonate with all.

*NoteG* Content:
From creation through today, you make the case for all the good that the earth has done. I think you could have gone a bit further and made the case that we, in return, owe a debt. I have been through this with my own kids and it's a lesson they had to learn just as we, as responsible family, must learn about this beautiful world we live in. I thought the ending "though she is dying" left a negative image. Unlike us, she doesn't have to. This is a case more akin to murder than the natural cycles that we as temporal beings are subject to. Okay - enough pontificating on my part *Laugh* The message was wonderful and you get 5 *Star* for that!

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I noted a few minor grammatical mistakes that can be easily remedied if you choose to do so *Smile*.
Line 1: "who created. Past tense to keep consistency of voice.
Line 4: "who hugs." Verb conflict - hug is singular; us all is plural.
Line 8: "who quenches my voracious ... " Quench is first person but here you're refering to her actions.

Nothing major - just minor distractions that don't diminish the impact or creativity of this wonderful poem.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* A thoroughly enjoyable read! A little polish and this jewel will shine! Thank you sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the happiness of the season,

Ken
** Image ID #1626620 Unavailable **

PS I'm returning your GPs - The pleasure was all mine and no other rewards are required! *Smile*
564
564
Review of Warning  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi April *Smile*

Perfect form and dark words - a great combination! My hesitation lies in line 2 ... some what? I'm assuming that you meant "people" or "souls" but the way it's written it just seems to leave me hanging waiting for the next word. Perhaps you meant that ambiguity ... it does add an element of mystery but then again, so does the poem *Smile*

Nicely done.

Ken
PS I'm returning the GPs. This is what we do for each other LOL. There's no other reward needed.
565
565
Review of Indulge!  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
You're evil *Laugh* I'm off to bed and know, instead of hot dreams all I'll be able to think of is food!

Great form, evil words ... but well done.

Ken
566
566
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Beautifully said. In this, of all seasons, we should never forget the less fortunate for they are among our blessings.

Bravo!

Ken
567
567
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi MagicMoneyMike Author IconMail Icon *Smile*

A dark but interesting story well told. I will admit I don't get the connection between the title and words but that's most likely my failing *Smile*

I really like the story that's here and the innocence of children is shown but not overplayed. There was one small convention error - typically if you're using dialogue it's in quotes. I say, "No," but I have. True enough, it could be seen as a telling so I'm just pointing it out .

This is totally free-verse so I'm concerned that the judges won't see this a narrative poem which does have some conventions. Rhyme is typical, although blank-verse is totally acceptable. In my research for this form I found that the consensus was that "Narrative poems are usually nondramatic, with objective regular scheme and meter."

Regardless of the judges decision, I really liked your poem - and a poem it is indeed. *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing this with me today.

All the best,

Ken
568
568
Review of Chew on This  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Liam ...

What a rollicking read *Laugh* I love the meter and form you've chosen - it skips and dances and makes the words vibrant.

Fabulous - need I say more? *Bigsmile*

Ken
569
569
Review of A Mermaid's Tears  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Bertie

And you were kind enough to send me encouraging words - I can see that you need few. This was beautiful and tinged with all the emotions that love has to offer. Congratulations on winning the contest - you have touched many with your words.

Ken *Smile*
570
570
Review of Dog  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Heart warming and a brilliant write. Doesn't take too many characters to say that *Laugh*

Ken

PS - no need for GPs - reading this was reward enough *Smile*
571
571
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a collection *Shock* What a legacy of the *Heart*

Ken *Smile*
572
572
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Plain spoken, plain truth *Smile* You are the epitome of your lyrics, my friend. You carry that sunshine within you and share it with all you meet. Thank you for sharing your talent and your warm sunshine *Bigsmile*

Ken
573
573
Review of Loving Hands  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very nice take on the prompt - going beyond the visual to the emotional content. It's not the gift, it's the giving.

Great form. My only comment is that this isn't an "18+" poem *Smile* unless you had images in your head while writing it! *Laugh* I'd lower it to "E" so that more folks will have access to read it.

Well done!

Ken
574
574
Review of The Small Gift  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Spoken like a true "chocoholic" *Laugh* Nicely done with perfect form and sure to bring a smile.

Excellent take on the prompt.

Ken
575
575
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done *Smile*

The contrast of the two families amply illustrates that no matter where we find ourselves, there's always something to give thanks for ... and there's always someone listening.

Well done,

Ken
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