Wow! What a creepy story. It held my attention all the way through. I can see Janet searching the house and the look of dsbelief as Norm tells her about what was rumored to have happened in the barn. The mirror painting is also very visible. Great job on the details.
I enjoyed reading your story & it brought tears to my eyes when Alexander lost his new friend, Melvin. Using the word new over and over was a bit jarring. Yet your descriptions of Whisper, Chase, Bob and Melvin made them come to life for me. I thought it very clever at how Melvin and Alexander took care of Melvin's mischievous cousins.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
I really enjoyed reading your story. The descriptions of Gretta, Corby & Droleen made me see them as if I was there. You caught me off guard by what happened to Gretta after making her wish. I thought something really bad would happen to her. Instead she lost Corby and seemed happier. This made me a bit sad, that she'd reather lose Corby than change just a little for him.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
i loved the rich details. i could actually see the watering hole & imagine the tiny men chasing Joe & his friend. in one place i noticed an extra word that didn't seem needed. in another place i noticed this: The man then repaired to the local saloon. did you mean retired or am i missing? or is it a local way of saying things?
this reminded me of a lost love of mine. it brought tears to my eyes. the story runs smoothly except in 2 places where it shifts scenes without warning. the first spot being beween The elegant hand fell to the side, lifeless.
Balthazar sat in his study, his eyes bloodshot and vacant. His study was dimly lit and books were scattered
and the second lace being Yes, he would search for Arcadia, wherever she was.
Somewhere, somehow, thousands of worlds from Balthazar's world, a young woman with golden blonde hair lay in bed, her hair fanned out on the pillows while her pure white blankets partially covered her in a haphazard way.
this grabbed my attention from the start. i can see the characters as if they were right in front of me. the stop came alive with the vivid descriptions of the way the tables looked, the security glass to protect the human barkeep. the lead character Athenais stands out as a no nonsense type of person, willing to kill to get what she wants. since i've never reviewed anyone's writing before i'm not sure i see need for improvement. this chapter held my attention & i'd love to see the next chapter.
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