Bravo! I love you wee tale The Memory Lane Malt Shop. IT's wondefully written & I love the details that bring, the malt shop, Ellen & Sid to life. It also made me cry. It's sad, yet upbeat at the same time. Is this bases on a persoanl experience?
What's a T-sipper? From its sound it implies tea sipper.
I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling, grammar, etc.
FANTASTIC JOB!
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes.
You little tale, NURSERY RHYMES is rather charming. I love mysteries & write them myself. The first paragraph gives me a good picture of Danny Norrish. The story moves at a good pace.
I did find a couple of mishaps. In the second paragraph you typed Patricia's Goylin's aunt, the 's doesn't belong after Patricia. Paragraph 5 seems a bit awkward. "Dan, second lab reports are here!" I believe it would sound & read better this way: "Dan, the second lab report is here!"
He rushed over to the chief's desk and leafed through the pages. Doesn't he refer to Dan? If so, this next sentence doesn't make sense.
"Nothing new here, Dan."
Maybe I missed something.
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly wher it wishes!
Just finished your tale, Another Storm. What a great beginning. I love the way this opening paragraph paints a picture right off. The story moves along quite nicely. It's a bit jarring where John is talking to his secertary one minute & the next he's at home. Need a space or someone to let the reader know you're changing POV or location.
That's the only minor mishap I spotted.
The story moves at a great pace & holds the reader's attention.
GOOD JOB!
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
Just finished reading your tale, The Unfinished Journal & found it quite charming yet a bit out of the oridnary. In many places it has wonderful descriptions & I can see what you're describing in my mind's eye. I like this sort of detail in a story. It makes the setting seem real, not just the figment of someone's imagination.
The only mishap I spotted was In the main body of your story In paragraph 5 you spelled Manitau Springs with a tau & in the next paragraph you spelled Manitou Springs with a tou
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly where it wishes!
Bravo! I love your tale, Mom'sChocolate Cake. It make me think of my mom who is now gone and brought tears to my eyes. Together, the cake and the coffee danced a graceful, unforgettable waltz across his tongue and throughout his mouth. What a wonderful descripption that lets the imagination conjure up a fantastic picture. It's a bit sad yet make the reader want to continue reading. I found no techincal errors such as grammar, misspelled words or omited words. And you're right most younger people don't know who Fred and Ginger are. I like the nice reference you made to them. And I love the end where Sid's dad is in heaven talk with Fred and Ginger.
Your story was well worth the time it took to read and I enjoy it very much. Great job.
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly where it may.
I just read your tale, Shadowplay and found it very interesting. I nornally don't read science fiction yet decided to give it a try. Your tale is well written and moves at a nice pace. You give just enough details to keep the reader reading trying to figure out just exactly what's going on. I didn't see any technical problems such as misspelled words, omited words or grammar errors. The only negative thing I might say it was hard to read without any spacing in the tale. I understand the need to save space on the site, yet it would have been a bit easier to read with a space between paragraphs.
Yet it's a GOOD STORY! Job well done.
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly where it may.
UFO’s aren't Unidentified Flying Objects is a rather interesting little tale. It gets the reader's attention rather quickly and keeps it. It is well written and flows with a nice pace. It peeks my curoisity.
The only thing I noticed while reading was you used learnt instead of learned. I wish there was a bit more of a description of Iora and Kai other than gender. I also wish that you told the reader more about who Iora and Kai work for. You did give a few more details about the Sojourners. Do you plan on writing more about these Sojourners and what happens now that they gave Iora and gift of foresight?
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly where it may.
I just finish reading your tale A Dinnertime Mystery and I like the twist on Goldie Lockes and the Three Bears. It is well written and moves in lodgical order and at a nice pace. Your descriptions of the Ursa family paints a good pciture. It made me think of Cousin It from the old Addams Family TV show. I didn't see any techincal errors such as grammar, spelling or omited words.
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly where it may.
For a short piece your Reflection of the Night is a well written, well thought out piece. You catch the reader's attention & don't let go. I couldn't see anything techincally wrong with your little tale. And I like the fact that the young woman was willing to help a stranger she knew nothing about.
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly where it may.
Your Chocoalte and the Five Senses made me smile. I normally don't read things like this, but I am glad I decided to give it a try. I could feel my mouth water as you described each piece of candy she popped into her mouth. It is well written and I enjoyed it very much. I didn't find any technical errors. You did a good job.
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly where it may.
I just finished reading your Soul Rift - Chapter One - Lee. You have a good beginning and it peeks my interest. It is well written and I relly didn't see any spelling or grmmar errors or missed words. The only thing I find a bit off is the following sentence: Quillar his name had been when he'd been alive. To me this sentence would sound better written this way: His named had been Quillar when he'd been alive.
Keep unleashing your imagination & let it fly where it may.
I just read your wee tale, ...Of Events. Bravo! Well done!. I could never write a story in just 300 words, yet you did a great job. I didn't see anything wrong with spelling, etc. FOr such a short piece it holds the reader's interest and moves along quite smoothly.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it run wild and free.
I just read your little tale, Monster. It's well written and moves along at a nice pace. To me your tale seems more told than shown. You telegrapghed your last sentence under edit point nine. Otherwise I didn't spot any typos and other errors. I like the idea of the Edit Points, making it easier for the reviewer to leave more detailed comments if they wish.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it run wild and free.
I loved your poem, Flowers for the Urban Fae. It put a smile on my face. I have a fascination for fairies and magic. It's a charming little tale and has a enough details to make one wonder if they just might appear.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it run wild and free.
I just read your tale, True Nature and it made me stop and think. You're right everyone harbors a dark side that is rarely seen by others. Your tale is well written and gives enough details to give the reader a vivid if somewhat bloody picture. It has a nice pace and the tale unfolds bit by bit keeping the reader reading.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it run wild and free.
Just read your poem, The Vanishing Dutchman & I loved it. I've always been fascinated with the legend of the Flying Dutchman. Your poem reads smoothly & paints a vivid picture in my mind. I don't see any typos or misspelled words. Well written.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it run wild & free.
Your tale, Typographical Terror is well written & I enjoyed reading it. The story moves alone nicely and gives the reader a mind's eye view of what Alice is like.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it run wild and free.
I read your tale, A Phoenix and Her Wizard, it's well written and gives enough details that I can see the phoenix and wizard. What does firt time mean? The only error I noticed was wideed which should be widened.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it run wild and free.
Your tale, The Rise of the Valkyrie is well written and I enjoyed it very much. You give enough details that I can see the battle scene and the warrior who's dying. I assume the warrior is female based on I was dressed in a simple dress.
I don't see any errors.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it run wild and free.
I read your tale, Picture of death and enjoyed it very much. You grab the reader's attention at the very beginning which I like in a mystery story. Then you slowly built your mystery with good pacing and enough details to give the reader a picture of what everyone and everything looked like.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
I enjoyed your poem, Keeper Of The Gate. It is well written and contains no errors. It seems to be a good beginning for a short story or novel. Have you thought about turning it into a story? I would like to know what gate she's the keeper of? WHo has locked her away during the day?
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
Bravo! Well done. Then ending of your tale of Tango with a Vampire caught me off guard. The details and the way the story flowed gave the reader that Connor was the vampire. I caught on just a moment before Rosie sank her teeth into his neck.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
I really enjoyed your poem Haunting Whispers. It paints a vivid picture and moves along at a good pace. That's a nice touch of her friend being in on trying to scare her.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
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