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701
701
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Central Bank  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Tehuti,

Thank You. Thank You. For taking the time to put together this character profile sheet. It gives a writer somewhere to start on the development of their characters for their tales. It's simple and easy to follow. And I love the way you broke it down into the differect aspects of a person's life. BY using this worksheet, writers shall be able to create wel rounded characters other shall want to reader about. Great job.

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702
702
Review of Faith in fall  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I just read your wee, poem Faith in Fall. What an interesting take on the change of seasons. Yet it's true that things die to make way for the new. Your words paint a nice picture of autumn and the coming winter. It has a nice pace and flows smoothly from line to line. Great job.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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703
703
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I just read your poem, If Leaves Could Talk. I love the way you gave each leaf its own personality. And with each leaf describe you paint a vivid picture of human emotions. The end of this poem made me cry at the thought of losing such a dear friend.

This piece is filled with emotions and great memories. It moves along smoothly and has a nice pace. Great job.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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704
704
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I just read your poem,"Where The Winds of Autumn Take Me" and never quite looked as autumn this way before. Thanks for reminding me what a beautiful season autumn truly is with its changing leaves from bright green to the brilliant orange and yellows.

Your word paint a vivid picture of summer fading into the autumn. I can see the bear and the bird of prey. Great job. I wish I could write poetry like this.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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705
705
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I just read your wee poem, Native American Heritage. WOW! Your powerful words fil me with sadness and pain. It's hard to believe that humans can treat each other in such vicious ways. I can also hear the pride in your words when you tell of your heritage.

THis is well written and smooths nicely from line to line. I only wish my poem was even half as good as this. I'm envious.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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706
706
Review of Shed No Tears  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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OH WOW! Your peom Shed No Tears brought me to tears. From the powerful words you used I can see these proud folks being forced to march into hell yet with their heads held high. The Trail of Tears was a terrible ordeal for those who were forced to walk it.

Your words make my heart and soul ache with shame that white folks could be so vicious to those who are different.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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707
707
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I just read your wee poem, The Song of Ladyhawk. You used powerful words to paint a vivid picture. I see sadness and hear heartbreak at what greed can do. The use of rhyme pulls the reader from line to line. It made me feel sad to realize that many seek gold instead of the pleasure of the soul.

Great job.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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#1806921 by Not Available.
708
708
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I just read your poem, A PRAYER TO THE SPIRITS. WOW! What a powerful piece. The images that appear with the poem help illustrate your words. I can hear sadness in his voice and heart of how others destroyed the great Indian Nations. It brings sadenss and tears to my heart soul that greed is allowed to do such evil things.

For a short poem, it is well written and uses powerful words to paint a vivid picture. I can see a might eagle or hawk sailing in the heavens above.

Great job.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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#1806921 by Not Available.
709
709
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with TGDI Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi The last cicada,

WOW! Your file Images: Miscellaneous is quite an eye opener. The bold bright colors grabs one's attention immediately. I like rev-rev-review the best. The orange and yellow balls bouncing across a whirl pool of blue clouds with white stand out very nicely. The two beg for attention too. All three definitely light up this page.

Who ever created them did a fantastic job.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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710
710
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Natbutterflyblue,

I just read the beginning of your novel, Mists of Apalia, Chapter 1. You have the nice start to what seems an interesting tale. Several questions come to mind. Why are the Mercenaries attacking and killing anyone they come across. Who helped them gain access to the palace?

THis is the only writing mishap I spotted.
Terror gripped her every fiber as she clung to the shadows trying desperately to get to the princess without being caught. -- Need to remove every fiber. Or if you want these words rewrite the sentence.

You introduced three characters, yet other than their names there is no details as to what these folks look like. I get the impression that Faith is a loyal friend and shall kill to protect those she loves.

Writing novel is hard work. And realize that this is a rough draft. Good luck with writing this tale.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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711
711
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Central Bank  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi M,

I just read An Attack of Family - Chapter 1. You have the beginning of an interesting tale. Several questions pop to mind. Why was Ciria kidanpped? For ransom or to force her father to do something?

You did a nice job giving us an idea what Myrl and Ciria look like and what they are like as people. You also gave a hint into the father's personality. Why is he sometimes cruel. I get the impression that he favored his dead son over Myrl and Myrl is trying to fill his dead brother's boots.

I spotted a couple of mishaps.

Myrl thrust the dagger upwards but missed as his intended target as the assassin recovered from his sister's distraction and danced out of reach. Scrambling to his feet, Myrl faced off against the thug. -- I think this would read better if you take out as between target and the.

Once on the horse, they were able to reach the man or very quickly. -- I think you meant to write, Once on the horse, they were able to reach the house very quickly.

And this tale seems more told than shown.

I realize this is a rough draft and just the beginning. Good luck finishing this. Writing a novel is hard work.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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712
712
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with TGDI Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Neko,

I just read Prologue: Lucifer's Glory. You have a good beginning for what seems to be an interesting tale. I like how the two prophecies rhyme.

I did notice this: Kizuato cut short, noticing the feral twist of his friends mouth. -- Should read his friend's.

I wish you would have given the reader more details about the characters. One is called Kizuato and the other is only identified by glowing yellow eyes and fangs. The reader doesn't know until the very end that the second character is Lucifer. The title only suggests that this is abut Lucifer.

It is well written and sets up a nice plot. I shall return to read more of this tale.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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713
713
Review of Eleven Parties  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi tabbycat90,

I dropped by your port simply because I love your name. I love cats and owe three felines and have two strays that we feed.

I just read your wee tale, Eleven Parties. I like how you separated each party from one another. Yet it felt a bit awkward to me. Maybe a few more details and a bit more interaction between Jo and Chase would make it read a bit smoother.

Here, her boss paused to try to stop a grin from spreading across his lined face. Unsuccessfully. -- I think it might read better if you moved the period after face and put it behind unsuccessfully like this: his lined face, unsuccessfully.

You did use enough details to give the reader a good idea what Chase and Jo are like. I like that Jo and CHase might end up together as a couple after all the pretending.

You did a good job.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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714
714
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi musunderstoodwiccan,

I just read your wee poem, great love. I like it because the words come straight from the heart. Love can be wonderful or make you sad.

Did you use small letters at the beginning of each line for emphasis? If not, I think it might be a good idea to capitalize the first word of each line. This is the way I've seen in done in just about every poem I've seen written. ANd it might be a good idea to make all the "i" capital, too.

It was mighty brave to admit this was inspired by a guy that you loved and that you hold no grudge because you no longer love him.

You have a nice writing style. I hope to see more in your port at a future date.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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715
715
Review of The Secret  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Storm Machine,

I just read your wee poem, The Secret. It's hard for me to write detailed reviews on poetry since I don't really know much about the different styles.

Your poem is simple and straight to the point. And keeping a journal can be quite dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands. It flows nicely from line to line and paints a nice picture, too.

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716
716
Review of The dragon king  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Central Bank  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi J. Hewitt,

I just read your wee poem, The dragon king and found it quite interesting. It is well written and flow line to line with a nice pace.

Your descriptive words evoke a vivd picture of battle between a knight and a dragon. It also brought tears to my eyes as the knight realizes what he has done by driving the dragon out and all the magic disappearing from the lands leaving man with dark hearts and evil thoughts.

I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling or grammar. I assume you left dragon king in the title in small letters instead of captilizing the first letter of each word for dramatic effect.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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717
717
Review of Painted  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Central Bank  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sir Paendrag,

I just read your wee poem, Painted and found it quite interesting. I can see the desert as it's being formed. I'm not an expert on poetry or the different kinds yet I like this poem.

It gives off a sense of wonder at the things nature created on this planet. I often wonder if this was by design or just sheer luck that our planet came to be.

Your words provoke thoughts of creations.

I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling or grammar.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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718
718
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Central Bank  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Higemage,

I just popped ito your port for a wee peek and found so my things that piqued my interest I shall ahve to return more than once to read everything.

For this stop I chose your sig, Highmage's Signature. Who ever created this from TGDI did an excellent job. A warrior heading off the battle or perhaps returing from one. The oranges and browns used make it pop and draws one's attention. The red lettering of HIghmare TGDI stands out quite well.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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719
719
Review of Children of Babel  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Luis,

I just read your wee poem, Children Of Babel. Oh wow! It brought tears to my eyes. With a few simple yet beautful words you paints a too vivid pciture of 9/11. Plus it's a grimm reminder that being even careless for a moment has serious and grave consequences.

Have charted their course,and have sought a new route -- needs a space after the comma. I'm sure you overlooked this while writing a piece so full of emotions. Thanks for the reminder of such a tradegy day and all those who lost their lives or someone they loved.

The pace flows smoothly throughout the piece. And the repeating of Children of Babel makes it complete. Sorry I'm not trying to rhyme.

Great job.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug

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720
720
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi brom21,

Or should I say good morning to Dracula?

I just read your wee poem, The Doorway to the Place of Mystery. I enjoyed it very much. Your descriptive words paint a vivid picture. The rhyming of the words tugs the reader along. And I can see this tree with its magical doors. In fact this has given me a great idea for a story.

Through the stone doors where the mystery is centered. -- Wouldn't began work better at the end of this line?

I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling or grammar. You did a great job. To me writing poetry is hard.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug

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721
721
Review of Absence  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Airila,

I just read your wee poem, Absence. What a different way to show lost love but to compare it to a hurricane gale. Your words paints a nice picture and tug the reader along at a nice pace.

I only spotted one mishap with spelling. The "i" & the "e" next to be reserved. So theif is spelled thief. Other than that this is well written and worth the time it takes to read. Good job.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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722
722
Review of My Dragon Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Lord Norry,

Your port is a tough place just to take a peek at. You have so many interesting things that caught my eye, which made it hard to choose just one.

For this stop in your port, I read your wee poem, My Dragon Heart. I chose this one because of the title. I have a thing for dragons you see.

THis poem paints a vivid picture of a dragon rider who's dying and must yield his beast to another who shall face this same task. I like that this is easy to read, because your words tug the reader along at a nice easy pace.

I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling or grammar.

Good job.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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723
723
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Central Bank  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Bearclaw,

I just read your wee tale, Grandpa's Basement. You have a nice story here. Your words draw the reader in and you have set up a nice wee mystery to be solved.

I did notice several mishaps that I listed below.

Everytime they would go for a visit to the farm, his older brother Dave would -- I believe there should be a comma between brother and Dave.

The Basement was big. Jason could not see the otherside and it was old. -- There should be a space between other and side.

Maybe even older then Grandpa. -- Then should be than.

Squeeky hindges sent shivers down his spin. -- You missed the "e" on spine.

I like this wee tale, yet wonder if you have plans on expanding it into a large scary tale.

As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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724
724
Review of Alone  Open in new Window.
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Lady Foxx,

I just read your wee poem, Alone. I can feel her pain and despair.

I spotted two minor mishaps in spelling. Betryal should be betrayal. And rageing, should be raging.

I think this would make a good story. Pehaps about lost love or even being betrayed by a friend or someone you thought you could trust. Have you thought about doing this?

As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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725
725
Review by Ladybug Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Fall of Rome,

Catchy name.

I just read your wee tale, The War to End All. I love the way you spaced this. It makes it easier to read.

You have three separate ideas here. If they tie together, I don't see it. Each seems to be a story by itself. All three are interesting and would make great stories. If they're meant to go together you need to make this more clear.

Many years ago in a time thousands of years ago there had been our first ancestor -- Many years ago & in a time thousands of years ago is a bit redundant -- use one or the other -- me I would use In a time thousands of years ago.

Waiting for the day until the would become decadent enough for The Children of Romulus to take their righful place in their ancestral home -- do you mean until the world became?

The fates are cruel and wilk tale everything from you. -- Do you will take everything?

You need a space after each comma. I realize things like this are easily overlooked. A good rereading shall catch all mishaps such as this.

As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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