I took a peek at your Mage Logo. I must say it's definitely different from any I've seen before on this site. I think that's great. It's unique just like you. Everone is unique in their own way. The word stands out and grabs the reviewer's attention. The shading of greys is a nice touch. WHo ever created this, did a fantastic job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your wee poem, Life is Mystery. The title draws the reader in wondering just what's mysterious about life. The bold face type makes it easier to read. My ancient eyes thank you for this. I love it being centered, in my opinion this is more appealing to the eye.
It flows smoothly line to line. It has left me with mixed emotions. I don't if I should laugh or cry. I love it when a poem touching me in some way as this one has. Great job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
The title piqued my interest and drew me in. It's easy to read and understand. You used simple common, everyday words. I like that very much. This poem flows smoothly from line to line. Your words paint a vivid picture for me. I can see and hear what's going on. I like that you centered your poem. To me this is more eye catching than lining it up against the left margin. If I find a poem like that I still read it as long as the title piques my interest.
You did a great job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your wee tale,m Afterparty. WOW! What a great beginning for a longer tale. I realize this was written for a contest and words were more than likely limited. Yet what you have here has my mind wondering all sorts of things. Who she is. Where is she? WHo are her captors? Was she taken from a party thrown by friends? DOes she know any of those who took?
I could go on with more questions, yet I'm sure you have your own ideas. If you do expand this, give me a holler I would love to see what you did with it.
I just read your wee tale, Firestorm. It is an interesting idea and could become a really neat story. My curiousity is piqued by why thecave is called the Cave of Mystery. Why everyone seems afraid of the old shack. Are there rumors about evil doing that keep folks away? Strange glows or sounds coming from it. And what draws Vaspar to it?
It seems more told than shown. And I made a couple of suggestions in the following sentences:
summoning would cause a natural disaster stronger then any ever seen before. -- I believe that then should be than.
He would always wear a long dark brown overcoat and -- I think it would read better this way: He always wore a
You have a great idea here for a stroy. I would like to know more of how the Draken was locked away. What sort of magic was used? WHat happened to the firestorm?
I'm taking Okira's Experimental Plot Challenge and she suggested reading this aritcle of yours on character development. I found it quite helpful and it gave me several valuable insights into my characters.
It is well written and easy to follow and fill out. The pencil seperating each part and the different colors are a nice touch and give it some eye appeal. It's nice to be able to use color and wee pictures to illustrate things on the WDC, yet out in the publishing world the different colors would be frowned upon. So if you decide to submit this for publication, just remember to make the whole article black and write. ANd double space with margins of an inch to 1 1/4.
Thank You. Thank You. For taking the time to put together this character profile sheet. It gives a writer somewhere to start on the development of their characters for their tales. It's simple and easy to follow. And I love the way you broke it down into the differect aspects of a person's life. BY using this worksheet, writers shall be able to create wel rounded characters other shall want to reader about. Great job.
I just read your wee, poem Faith in Fall. What an interesting take on the change of seasons. Yet it's true that things die to make way for the new. Your words paint a nice picture of autumn and the coming winter. It has a nice pace and flows smoothly from line to line. Great job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your poem, If Leaves Could Talk. I love the way you gave each leaf its own personality. And with each leaf describe you paint a vivid picture of human emotions. The end of this poem made me cry at the thought of losing such a dear friend.
This piece is filled with emotions and great memories. It moves along smoothly and has a nice pace. Great job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your poem,"Where The Winds of Autumn Take Me" and never quite looked as autumn this way before. Thanks for reminding me what a beautiful season autumn truly is with its changing leaves from bright green to the brilliant orange and yellows.
Your word paint a vivid picture of summer fading into the autumn. I can see the bear and the bird of prey. Great job. I wish I could write poetry like this.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your wee poem, Native American Heritage. WOW! Your powerful words fil me with sadness and pain. It's hard to believe that humans can treat each other in such vicious ways. I can also hear the pride in your words when you tell of your heritage.
THis is well written and smooths nicely from line to line. I only wish my poem was even half as good as this. I'm envious.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
OH WOW! Your peom Shed No Tears brought me to tears. From the powerful words you used I can see these proud folks being forced to march into hell yet with their heads held high. The Trail of Tears was a terrible ordeal for those who were forced to walk it.
Your words make my heart and soul ache with shame that white folks could be so vicious to those who are different.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your wee poem, The Song of Ladyhawk. You used powerful words to paint a vivid picture. I see sadness and hear heartbreak at what greed can do. The use of rhyme pulls the reader from line to line. It made me feel sad to realize that many seek gold instead of the pleasure of the soul.
Great job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
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I just read your poem, A PRAYER TO THE SPIRITS. WOW! What a powerful piece. The images that appear with the poem help illustrate your words. I can hear sadness in his voice and heart of how others destroyed the great Indian Nations. It brings sadenss and tears to my heart soul that greed is allowed to do such evil things.
For a short poem, it is well written and uses powerful words to paint a vivid picture. I can see a might eagle or hawk sailing in the heavens above.
Great job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
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WOW! Your file Images: Miscellaneous is quite an eye opener. The bold bright colors grabs one's attention immediately. I like rev-rev-review the best. The orange and yellow balls bouncing across a whirl pool of blue clouds with white stand out very nicely. The two beg for attention too. All three definitely light up this page.
Who ever created them did a fantastic job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read the beginning of your novel, Mists of Apalia, Chapter 1. You have the nice start to what seems an interesting tale. Several questions come to mind. Why are the Mercenaries attacking and killing anyone they come across. Who helped them gain access to the palace?
THis is the only writing mishap I spotted.
Terror gripped her every fiber as she clung to the shadows trying desperately to get to the princess without being caught. -- Need to remove every fiber. Or if you want these words rewrite the sentence.
You introduced three characters, yet other than their names there is no details as to what these folks look like. I get the impression that Faith is a loyal friend and shall kill to protect those she loves.
Writing novel is hard work. And realize that this is a rough draft. Good luck with writing this tale.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read An Attack of Family - Chapter 1. You have the beginning of an interesting tale. Several questions pop to mind. Why was Ciria kidanpped? For ransom or to force her father to do something?
You did a nice job giving us an idea what Myrl and Ciria look like and what they are like as people. You also gave a hint into the father's personality. Why is he sometimes cruel. I get the impression that he favored his dead son over Myrl and Myrl is trying to fill his dead brother's boots.
I spotted a couple of mishaps.
Myrl thrust the dagger upwards but missed as his intended target as the assassin recovered from his sister's distraction and danced out of reach. Scrambling to his feet, Myrl faced off against the thug. -- I think this would read better if you take out as between target and the.
Once on the horse, they were able to reach the man or very quickly. -- I think you meant to write, Once on the horse, they were able to reach the house very quickly.
And this tale seems more told than shown.
I realize this is a rough draft and just the beginning. Good luck finishing this. Writing a novel is hard work.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read Prologue: Lucifer's Glory. You have a good beginning for what seems to be an interesting tale. I like how the two prophecies rhyme.
I did notice this: Kizuato cut short, noticing the feral twist of his friends mouth. -- Should read his friend's.
I wish you would have given the reader more details about the characters. One is called Kizuato and the other is only identified by glowing yellow eyes and fangs. The reader doesn't know until the very end that the second character is Lucifer. The title only suggests that this is abut Lucifer.
It is well written and sets up a nice plot. I shall return to read more of this tale.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I dropped by your port simply because I love your name. I love cats and owe three felines and have two strays that we feed.
I just read your wee tale, Eleven Parties. I like how you separated each party from one another. Yet it felt a bit awkward to me. Maybe a few more details and a bit more interaction between Jo and Chase would make it read a bit smoother.
Here, her boss paused to try to stop a grin from spreading across his lined face. Unsuccessfully. -- I think it might read better if you moved the period after face and put it behind unsuccessfully like this: his lined face, unsuccessfully.
You did use enough details to give the reader a good idea what Chase and Jo are like. I like that Jo and CHase might end up together as a couple after all the pretending.
You did a good job.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your wee poem, great love. I like it because the words come straight from the heart. Love can be wonderful or make you sad.
Did you use small letters at the beginning of each line for emphasis? If not, I think it might be a good idea to capitalize the first word of each line. This is the way I've seen in done in just about every poem I've seen written. ANd it might be a good idea to make all the "i" capital, too.
It was mighty brave to admit this was inspired by a guy that you loved and that you hold no grudge because you no longer love him.
You have a nice writing style. I hope to see more in your port at a future date.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your wee poem, The Secret. It's hard for me to write detailed reviews on poetry since I don't really know much about the different styles.
Your poem is simple and straight to the point. And keeping a journal can be quite dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands. It flows nicely from line to line and paints a nice picture, too.
I just read your wee poem, The dragon king and found it quite interesting. It is well written and flow line to line with a nice pace.
Your descriptive words evoke a vivd picture of battle between a knight and a dragon. It also brought tears to my eyes as the knight realizes what he has done by driving the dragon out and all the magic disappearing from the lands leaving man with dark hearts and evil thoughts.
I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling or grammar. I assume you left dragon king in the title in small letters instead of captilizing the first letter of each word for dramatic effect.
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your wee poem, Painted and found it quite interesting. I can see the desert as it's being formed. I'm not an expert on poetry or the different kinds yet I like this poem.
It gives off a sense of wonder at the things nature created on this planet. I often wonder if this was by design or just sheer luck that our planet came to be.
Your words provoke thoughts of creations.
I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling or grammar.
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just popped ito your port for a wee peek and found so my things that piqued my interest I shall ahve to return more than once to read everything.
For this stop I chose your sig, Highmage's Signature. Who ever created this from TGDI did an excellent job. A warrior heading off the battle or perhaps returing from one. The oranges and browns used make it pop and draws one's attention. The red lettering of HIghmare TGDI stands out quite well.
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
I just read your wee poem, Children Of Babel. Oh wow! It brought tears to my eyes. With a few simple yet beautful words you paints a too vivid pciture of 9/11. Plus it's a grimm reminder that being even careless for a moment has serious and grave consequences.
Have charted their course,and have sought a new route -- needs a space after the comma. I'm sure you overlooked this while writing a piece so full of emotions. Thanks for the reminder of such a tradegy day and all those who lost their lives or someone they loved.
The pace flows smoothly throughout the piece. And the repeating of Children of Babel makes it complete. Sorry I'm not trying to rhyme.
Great job.
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!
Ladybug
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