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726
726
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi brom21,

Or should I say good morning to Dracula?

I just read your wee poem, The Doorway to the Place of Mystery. I enjoyed it very much. Your descriptive words paint a vivid picture. The rhyming of the words tugs the reader along. And I can see this tree with its magical doors. In fact this has given me a great idea for a story.

Through the stone doors where the mystery is centered. -- Wouldn't began work better at the end of this line?

I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling or grammar. You did a great job. To me writing poetry is hard.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug

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727
727
Review of Absence  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Airila,

I just read your wee poem, Absence. What a different way to show lost love but to compare it to a hurricane gale. Your words paints a nice picture and tug the reader along at a nice pace.

I only spotted one mishap with spelling. The "i" & the "e" next to be reserved. So theif is spelled thief. Other than that this is well written and worth the time it takes to read. Good job.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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728
728
Review of My Dragon Heart  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Lord Norry,

Your port is a tough place just to take a peek at. You have so many interesting things that caught my eye, which made it hard to choose just one.

For this stop in your port, I read your wee poem, My Dragon Heart. I chose this one because of the title. I have a thing for dragons you see.

THis poem paints a vivid picture of a dragon rider who's dying and must yield his beast to another who shall face this same task. I like that this is easy to read, because your words tug the reader along at a nice easy pace.

I didn't spot any mishaps in spelling or grammar.

Good job.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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729
729
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Bearclaw,

I just read your wee tale, Grandpa's Basement. You have a nice story here. Your words draw the reader in and you have set up a nice wee mystery to be solved.

I did notice several mishaps that I listed below.

Everytime they would go for a visit to the farm, his older brother Dave would -- I believe there should be a comma between brother and Dave.

The Basement was big. Jason could not see the otherside and it was old. -- There should be a space between other and side.

Maybe even older then Grandpa. -- Then should be than.

Squeeky hindges sent shivers down his spin. -- You missed the "e" on spine.

I like this wee tale, yet wonder if you have plans on expanding it into a large scary tale.

As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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730
730
Review of Alone  
Review by Ladybug
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Lady Foxx,

I just read your wee poem, Alone. I can feel her pain and despair.

I spotted two minor mishaps in spelling. Betryal should be betrayal. And rageing, should be raging.

I think this would make a good story. Pehaps about lost love or even being betrayed by a friend or someone you thought you could trust. Have you thought about doing this?

As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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731
731
Review by Ladybug
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Fall of Rome,

Catchy name.

I just read your wee tale, The War to End All. I love the way you spaced this. It makes it easier to read.

You have three separate ideas here. If they tie together, I don't see it. Each seems to be a story by itself. All three are interesting and would make great stories. If they're meant to go together you need to make this more clear.

Many years ago in a time thousands of years ago there had been our first ancestor -- Many years ago & in a time thousands of years ago is a bit redundant -- use one or the other -- me I would use In a time thousands of years ago.

Waiting for the day until the would become decadent enough for The Children of Romulus to take their righful place in their ancestral home -- do you mean until the world became?

The fates are cruel and wilk tale everything from you. -- Do you will take everything?

You need a space after each comma. I realize things like this are easily overlooked. A good rereading shall catch all mishaps such as this.

As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

732
732
Review of The Stop Off  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi stuckintime,

I just read your wee tale, The Stop Off. It quite a creepy tale. It is well written with a good pace. Yet being so short it leaves my curiosity on full alert. The spacing between paragraphs makes it easy to read.

Do you intend to write more of this tale? I for one, would love to know exaclty what was in that room. Who or what they might be? How they came to be trapped in that room.?

I didn't sppot any mishaps with spelling or grammar.

As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
733
733
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Piper,

I just read your wee poem, Ghosts of the Lonely. The descriptive words you used paint a vivid picture for the reader. It made me a bit sad to think of how many out there feel abandoned and bare scars of neglect whether they be physical or mental. I didn't spot any mishaps with spelling or grammar. This is written well and I like it very much.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. -- William Wordsworth

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
734
734
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with TGDI Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi ally,

I just read your wee poem, One Misty, Moisty Spring. This poem really touched my heart and brought a few tears to my eyes. Your descriptive words paint a vivid picture for the reader to see. Fairies dancing and flying about.

The only thing I can say that might be a bit negative is moisty. I looked this up and couldn't it. I think moist would sound okay. Yet this is your poem and you may have used moisty for a visual affect. If that's the case, just ignore this part of the review.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
735
735
Review of The Scribes  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Lottie,

I just took a peel at THe Scribes and found this to be an interesting contest. I like the pictures that grab at the reader. And using the two colors give this wee item a nice and pleasant look that appears to the senses. The spacing between the lines makes it easier to read.

It is well written witout any mishaps in spelling or grammar that I could see.

I still have several of the old prompts I intend to use in future tales.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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736
736
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Friendly THinker,

I just popped into your port for a peek, and Me as a dragon rider caught my interest. WHat cool and bright signature. THe colors used make viewing this quite a pleasure. I have seen some rather neat black & white, or silvery grey with black, or blue on blue, yet the prefer the multi color ones.

The dragon looks a bit miffed as being used for carrying a rider. THat sword seems mightly big for the soul wielding it. Much be stronger than he looks.

Alexia Wind did a fantastic job creating this sig for you.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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737
737
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Top of the Morn, Maryann

I just took a peek at your In and Out, Imagination Alphabet. What a cute an fun concept. "X" seems to be the next in line, I tried my best to come up with a word of my, yet failed. Yet it was quite a challenge.

Thanks for taking the time to give the readers at WDC a niffty wee challenge.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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738
738
Review of Ending  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just read your poem Enidng. WOW! What a powerful piece.

I can see the world ending both ways. Fire raging out of control and devouring everything in it's path. I can feel the cold from the creeping ice.

This poem give everyone something to think about. If we don't change our destruction shall be quite painful no matter which way the world end.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams,” Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** A gift to the CSFS from Dragon Master Alexia.
739
739
Review of Poison Pen  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just read your poem Poison Pen. Very nice.

Your choice of descriptive words paint a vivid picture.

The pace of this poem flows smoothly. You put a small mystery within. How clever.

I like this very much.

I stopped by your port more on whim. Mainly because I like your name.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams,” Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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740
740
Review by Ladybug
Rated: E | (3.5)
I just finish reading Welcome Back Molly.

This tale is a bit confusing.

One was ripped in half, Twisted Nerve a 1968 film. I picked up the two pieces of torn paper. One half had my first boyfriend Ralph Federico, the other had me. -- Was a movie poster ripped in half or a picture of the character & her boyfriend. The way this is written I'm not sure which way it's suppose to be.

May I suggest. One was ripped in half, Twist Never a 1968 film. THen I noticed what seems like a familiar picture among the torn posters. I picked up the two pieces of torn paper. One half... you get the idea.


Setting: With the setting you sort of jump around from place to place without much of a warning or none at all.

Characters: From what little detail you gave of the main character, I assume this character is female, a vampire, the daughter or Dracula.

Plot: This story starts off with someone reporting a crime, then jumps to the character's mother's place, then jumps to the hospital. I think this would read better with a few more details to give the reader a better feel of what's happening.

Grammar: I look around the room it was an apartment with a couple of movies posters on the walls. I believe you need a comma between room & it. Take the "s" off of movies.

General: I found this difficult to follow. First, you saying the main character is Dracula's daughter, then you have her father in a hospital dying from cancer. This would be easier to read with more details to explain more of what's happening and why.

My review is only my opinion, and is only meant to be helpful to you. If you don't agree with something I said or suggested, that is your right as the author. No matter what though, Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Proud member of the Supernatural Group
741
741
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just read your wee poem, Silent Voices. Your use of descriptive words paints a vivid picture for the reader.

I can see the desperate butterfly's fear of dying and longing to be free. It touched my heart and made me a bit sad, knowing such a beautfiul critter shall die because of someone's curiosity.

The pacing draws the reader in and gently tugs them to the end.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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742
742
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a great wee tale.

Setting: Your use of despriptive words painted a vivid picture of a wee girl who is full of energy yet hates to shop. I can see the doll sitting on that high shelf.

Characters: I can see the little girl bouncing around and then caught by surprise when she saw the doll. I get a great sense of this child.

Plot: Your tale paints a picture of a little girl who understands more about how hard life can be for one so young.

Grammar: I noly saw one misspelled word. It's in the third paragraph from the end.

General: This is well written and gives the reader something to think about. I really liked this and it brought tears to my eyes. THanks for touching my heart.

My review is only my opinion, and is only meant to be helpful to you. If you don't agree with something I said or suggested, that is your right as the author. No matter what though, Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Proud member of the Supernatural Group
743
743
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this wee poem. The use of the green color uses the winter cold a touch of warmth. The size of the print makes this easy to read which I like very much.

Your descriptive words paint a very vivid picture of the world dressed in snow or ice. And I can feel the pain the character speaks of.

You did a great job.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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744
744
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Setting: You did a good job giving the reader enough details for them to see the animal control officer, the cage and other things within this wee tale.

Characters: By writing in the first person in such a short piece, most of the time we the readers might not learn the character's name. I had to smile at the size of the character and the fact she does a difficult job. Some dogs can weigh as much if not more than she does. I wish you had told us how she feels about capturing those poor animal to be killed or if her opinion on the matter changed after she spent time in her own trap.

Plot: He plot is simple and easy to follow.

Grammar: I only notice one mishap. You missed the period at the end of the very last sentence.

General: All in all it was a well written piece for such a wee tale.

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

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745
745
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for putting spaces between the paragraphs. It makes it easier to read when the print is so small. You might go into Writing.Com Tools and check out the writingML to enlarge the print size. There are other things in there you can use if you choose.

Setting: You use enough details that I have a good sense of where your story is taking place and how the characters feel about this place.

Character: You use enough details to paint a good picture of all your characters. I like it when I can tell one character from the other by a picture detail or a behavior.

Plot: I can see by the way the characters talk they are excited about entering high school. I also get a sense of sadness from Serrony as she realizes she's growing up.

Grammar: If you think about it, it has only been fifty years since they realized there was life o other planets. You missed the "n" on the word between life and other.

Hi Serrony!” Yelled Kylie. You missed the quotation mark at the beginning.

Kyles little sister. This should needs an apostrophe in Kyle's.

I'm a bit confused, first you call the school Tally Middle School then switch to calling it Galaxy Middle School. Both are good names. Yet it would read better if you used the same name all the way through your tale.

General: You have the beginning of a good novel for pre-teens. I normally don't read this kind of tale, yet the title caught my eye, so I decided to take a look.

My review is only my opinion, and is only meant to be helpful to you. If you don't agree with something I said or suggested, that is your right as the author. No matter what though, Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Proud member of the Supernatural Group
746
746
Review of The Paperboy  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with TGDI Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Morning FictionFlasher,

I just finish reading your tale, The Paperboy. You have a wee bit of a mystery here.

Setting: You give the reader enough details to picture the unmarked package but other details are sketchy.

Characters: I have an idea what the main character is like, yet no idea what this person looks like. I'm not sure of the gender either.

Plot: Like I already said, it's a bit of a mystery. What was in the box? Who sent it? Did the main character ever open it?

grammar: If it had been a gift, there would have been a card--even if the giver wished to anonymous. I believe you left remain out between to and anonymous.

I know you don't want to hear this America, it ruins your Norman Rockwell version of the world, but paperboys a social deviants not to be trusted---if you only knew what they are capable of. I believe you have wanted are between paperboys and deviants.

But he wouldn't go, said he'd wait with me until his mother game. So we waited. I believe you wanted came not game.

After finish writing a story, it's a good idea to put it away for a day or two, then go back and reread your creation. You'd be surprise at what you find that you missed. The other day, I forget to do just this and posted a story to the site for a contest. It was full of glaring errors and one of the judges pointed this out. Unforunately for me, this particular contest doesn't allow editing after the entry has been posted. SImply because I failed to reread a tale it may not do too well.

General: I did enjoy reading this tale.

My review is only my opinion, and is only meant to be helpful to you. If you don't agree with something I said or suggested, that is your right as the author. No matter what though, Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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My review is only my opinion, and is only meant to be helpful to you. If you don't agree with something I said or suggested, that is your right as the author. No matter what though, Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
747
747
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Oh wow! What another great detail filled part to this tale. And the ending leaves the reader wondering what's going to happen to Melissa. I'm pretty good at figuring out mysterious and I'm sure I know who's begging for help and why the monster grabbed Melissa and hauled her into the house. Yet I won't ruin it for future readers or those who haven't read this far.

Please tell me me you intend to write more of this tale. You definately have a great beginning for a novel. And so far this tale moves along at a good pace and pulls the reader along.

Great job. I shall peek into your port from time to time to see if you've added to this tale. ANd I shall check out some of your other tales.

Proud member of the TGDI, Supernatural, WDC Power Reviewer & CSFS Groups

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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748
748
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Oh boy. Only again you did a gret job with the details. The grass acting like snakes coiling around their ankles. I could see Rebecca as she vaninshed in and out through the walls.

and now the monster may be loose after a storm destroyed the old house. I look forward to reading the last part.

Proud member of the TGDI, Supernatural, WDC Power Reviewer & CSFS Groups

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
749
749
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with TGDI Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Fantastic. I love the way this tale is moving along. Giving the reader just enough to continue on. Boy, what a hateful sisters poor Amanda has. And what a shame that the family hide Grandma's grave as if they were ashame of her. I'm not sure yet it seems to me that maybe Rebecca's sisters were jealous that she shared the gift with their grandmother when they didn't.

As before this is well written and grabs the reader and won't let go. Great job.

Proud member of the TGDI, Supernatural, WDC Power Reviewer & CSFS Groups

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
750
750
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Morning, arakun the twisted raccoon

I just finished reading the third part of the Witch's Diary. And once again I'm touched with emotion after reading it. It is well written and captures the reader's attention. There is enough details scattered throughout to paint a vivid picture of the characters and scenes. I like this in a story.

I want to be able to see and hear the characters, and see where they are. And in a short piece that is difficult to achieve sometimes.

You did a great job once again. I look forward to reading the rest of this tale.

Proud member of the TGDI, Supernatural, WDC Power Reviewer & CSFS Groups

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes!

Ladybug ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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