Jeff's (jeff) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

4,263 Public Reviews Given

4,392 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.

I'm good at...

Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.

Favorite Genres

I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.

726

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#3366436

Review of Thirst

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Excellent story, Moriarty! I know from experience it's not easy to tell a story in such a short span of words, and you did a great job creating a quick flash fiction tale with consistent mystery elements. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

SoCalScribe

727

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14 days may be credited.

#3366426

Review of Making the Cut

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.0)

I thought this was a great item, Shade Knight

. The structure and imagery were great, and it was very well written. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

SoCalScribe

728

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14 days may be credited.

#3358534

Review of The New Beginning

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

Hi Charda

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Good use of erotic elements

Interesting story

Engaging characters

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Felt rushed

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I really liked this story. It was fun, entertaining, and sexy. Ultimately, I felt that the story felt a little rushed without a lot of setup or resolution. While that tends to happen with "quickie" stories less than a thousand words, your entry came in at 733 words... and I felt like those remaining 136 words allowed by the Weekly Quickie contest rules could have really helped round this story out a little more. Other than that, though, I thought it was a very enjoyable story, and it would be a pleasure to feature it in the next issue of the Unofficial Erotica Newsletter. Good work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

729

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#3357926

Review of A Rose Upon The Sill

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi AlyCatAuthor HAPPY 4th!

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Angel Army review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Great structure

Good imagery

Elegant writing

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Nothing comes to mind

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I really enjoyed this poem. You did a great job with the structure and imagery, and your writing was elegant, well paced, and flowed well. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter. Great work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

730

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14 days may be credited.

#3357899

Review of Typographical Terror

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hi Winnie Kay

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Angel Army review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Good concept

Great ending

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

The lead-in chat conversation was a little easy to spot.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I thought you did a really good job creating an engaging, creepy, tragic story. I would suggest making the initial chat conversation a little longer, and burying the "I like seeing you in that T-shirt" line somewhere in the middle of a much longer exchange; the current one was so short, the line really stuck out, and the reader spends the next three paragraphs wondering how Alisa didn't see it... until she does. By masking that line a little better, I think you'll keep your reader guessing. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter. Good job!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

731

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14 days may be credited.

#3356699

Review of Jane Austen, Emily Bronte

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi Princess Megan Rose 22 Years

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Brilliant concept

Great execution

Demonstrated knowledge of both authors' literature.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

In the first paragraph, "Jane sat in her favorite blue velvet wing tip back chair." To the best of my knowledge, "wingtip" is a type shoe, and "wing back" is a type of chair.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I thought this was an excellent piece of writing. I thoroughly enjoyed the concept and execution, which was entertaining, engaging... and I would think should teach people a little about both of these must-read authors if they haven't experienced their work before. Excellent piece of writing!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

732

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#3355455

Review of Don't Build a Shrine

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Legerdemain

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Elegant

Convincing

Well written

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Nothing

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was a great item that paralleled my feelings about building monuments to those that have been lost. While I certainly understand the desire to memorialize where someone was lost (particularly in the event of tragedies like car accidents and such), I also think it's important not to dwell on the loss itself, but on who the individual was as a person. Thanks for sharing such a well written and evocative piece of writing. Always a pleasure to read your work.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

733

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#3353757

Review of Paper World.

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi khaki

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

As a longtime fan of super-short flash fiction contests (100 words, 99 words, 55 words, etc.), I can definitely appreciate the skill and difficulty involved in completing an entry at all, let alone one as sophisticated as this one. While most writers would struggle to even tell a basic story with a beginning, middle, and end in the span of only 55 words, you also managed to work in strong thematic elements and some powerful imagery... not easy to do! Well done!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

734

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14 days may be credited.

#3353755

Review of HAIKUS (about trees)

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi khaki

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

As someone who has just recently ventured into the realm of poetry (and fell in love with the haiku form), I have to say that I really enjoyed these two samples of the form. They were elegant, well written, and evocative. 🌕 HuntersMoon

is an excellent poet (and gave me incredibly helpful advice on my first haiku); I would suggest also possibly requesting that he review this item, as he is infinitely more well-versed in this form than I am... But as far as my opinion goes, I like what I see!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

735

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14 days may be credited.

#3353752

Review of Destiny... (The Move Ahead)

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi khaki

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I really enjoyed the message in this poem. I think the last two lines really drove home the point and made an elegant philosophical statement. The structure was sound, the writing was concise and had a good flow to it; all in all, I thought this was an excellent selection of poetry. Nicely done!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

736

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14 days may be credited.

#3353749

Review of Lie To Me My lover

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hi Lunarmirror

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I think the narrator in this story is engaging and complex. You did a good job of presenting her life and the conflicts and struggles she has endured in her relationships. I was hoping for a little more character development for her husband (Eric), to make him more of an active, dynamic antagonist, but otherwise I found this to be a compelling, interesting story. Nice job.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

737

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14 days may be credited.

#3353746

Review of Wounds In Bones

Review by Jeff

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi Lunarmirror

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

Overall, I enjoyed this story. There was clearly a lot of originality and creativity that went into writing a story like this; your characters were excellent, and the story was well-presented with consistent atmosphere and tone. The two suggestions I have are to make the opening dialogue a little less expository (many of the lines were on the nose), and to flesh out the story with some detailed narrative description, in addition to the dialogue. When a piece is composed primarily of dialogue, it feels more like it's written for the stage or screen rather than the page... and the way you present that narrative is often one of the defining characteristics of an author. Still, this was a very well written piece, and I greatly enjoyed reading it. Good work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

738

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14 days may be credited.

#3353741

Review of Lullaby

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hi Just Aniece!

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

Overall, I enjoyed reading the item, but ultimately felt that it was a bit unfinished. In this relatively short piece of writing, the reader is thrown into an unfamiliar situation (a narrator who has a conversation with a bed), and the events of the story are concluded rather abruptly. I was a little confused about who the narrator is, why he would have a conversation with the bed (and what makes a bed "wise") about bedbugs, and where the man comes into play.

I definitely think there's potential for this story, but in its present form, the point of view needs to be clarified and the work, in my opinion, needs to be developed and expanded so that the reader can have a clear picture in their mind about who this narrator is, and why they are reading this story.

All that said, the overall concept intrigued me, and I would like to read more.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

739

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14 days may be credited.

#3352086

Review of Fluffy

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi kittiara -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Engaging dialogue

Interesting story

Great ending

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

The section breaks made the item feel slightly disjointed

OVERALL IMPRESSION

This was a fun story. I love the Dialogue 500 Contest, and you did a great job telling a story through dialogue. I thought that the section breaks made the story feel a bit segmented and jumpy, but other than that, you did a really good job with this entry. It's hard to get dialogue right... and even harder to tell a story with ONLY dialogue... and in that respect, I think you did an excellent job. Good work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

740

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14 days may be credited.

#3350509

Review of I'm Here

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hi tearsdelilah

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Concise

Clear

Good imagery and tone

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Inconsistent structure

Could use a little more variety in rhymes

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I enjoyed this poem, but thought the structure needed to be consistent between the two stanzas (a,a,a and b,c,b) and that there could have been a bit more variety in the rhyming words, since all the "a" lines repeated the word "near" and all the "b" lines repeated the word "here." Repetition can sometimes be an effective way of emphasizing a point or giving the reader a feeling of rhythm and comfort, but in a short piece like this, I would recommend finding alternative words that rhyme with 'near' and 'here' (e.g. beer, cheer, clear, dear, deer, ear, gear, hear, mere, peer, pier, queer, rear, seer, sheer, spear, sphere, steer, tear, we're, year, etc.) to give the poem a little variety and sense of diversity. If this were a longer piece, I think the stanzas you have would work really well... but with only six lines, I was hoping to see your poetic structure have a little more diversity.

Also, from the short description of your item ("A lost soul... looking for a way home..."), I imagined this poem would be a little more about someone trying to get home, rather than questioning what it is the narrator is afraid of, when the person she needs is sitting next to him/her.

Other than that, though, I thought this was an entertaining short poem, and it would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

741

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14 days may be credited.

#3350503

Review of The Tower

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hi smizwaz

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Good characterization

Excellent, exotic location

Intriguing concept

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Ending was a little abrupt

Needing some more mystery/tension throughout

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was a fun, entertaining item. You did a really great job capturing Cassie's excitement for traveling to Greece, and nailed that feeling of going somewhere on vacation, waking up, and being amazed by even the smallest things, which all seem so fresh and new. If there were one area of improvement, it would be to work the tower into your story a little more, and create a sense of foreboding (and irresistibility) about it. As is, the story feels a little more like a recounting of the little things on Cassie's vacation, and then leaves us when she just happens to see the tower and heads inside. If the tower were more prominently featured, and Cassie were to have avoided it a few times, until curiosity got the better of her, it would make the pull on the audience that much stronger.

Other than that, I really enjoyed the story, and it would be a pleasure to feature it in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

742

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3350355

Review of Wherever You Go

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi Josh T. Alto

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Good use of tone

Easy, straightforward style

Good mystery elements

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Some grammatical errors, particularly the need for commas in complex sentences (e.g. "As the newspapers described it later, there must have been..." / "Between the storms, she looked totally normal...")

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was an enjoyable mystery story that was effectively presented, with good character development, structure and pacing. With a little work on the grammar, I think this could be an excellent story, and it would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

743

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14 days may be credited.

#3350348

Review of Haunting Whispers

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Susan Gilson

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Consistent tone

Good structure and rhyme scheme

Great twist at the end

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Another stanza or two to really build up the suspense before the twist at the end

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. I thought you did a great job creating an entertaining tale that took the reader in one direction, and then surprised them with a twist at the end. I think a little more content would have helped establish the atmosphere a little better (and more effectively bring home the twist at the end), but other than that, this was a really excellent piece of poetry. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

744

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14 days may be credited.

#3348718

Review of A Vile Visitor

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi Tammy~Catchin Up~

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

Really great job with this poem, Tammy! I thought you did a wonderful job capturing a creepy, terrifying atmosphere with this poem, and keeping the reader engaged all the way through. The structure was solid, the words were effective, and, overall, I really enjoyed this piece. Nicely done!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

745

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14 days may be credited.

#3348712

Review of Listening to the Rain

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I really enjoyed this item. I thought you did a great job with the rhyme scheme, structure, and imagery. It was an interesting concept executed very well. Great work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

746

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#3343011

Review of Dear Harriet

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi Than Pence,

I'm sorry that it took so terribly long to get to the May round of Beyond The Water's Edge judging. The Talent Pond Tennis event had me booked up and I just completely forgot to get back to these entries. Unfortunately, there weren't enough entrants this round to award any places, but I did get a chance to read your story and I really enjoyed it. I thought you did a great job with the prompt, and really enjoyed the format of the letters. I am enclosing your consolation prize for the May 2010 round. I hope you'll continue to enter the contest, and I promise to finish the judging more punctually next round.

Thanks for entering!

SoCalScribe

747

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14 days may be credited.

#3342994

Review of Was it a dream?

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (3.0)

Hi reader

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Good concept

Interesting characters

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

The piece felt a little rough

Some point of view conflicts (between second and third person)

"*Flashback*" could be better integrated into the story. Rather than stating it, try to present it to the audience as an intrinsic part of the narrative.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I think there's a lot of potential in this work. It was interesting, engaging, and I wanted to know more about the characters. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

748

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3342992

Review of An Occult Experience

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi YearoftheKitty

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Imaginative concept

Interesting characters

Entertaining story

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Nothing that I could find

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I thought this was an excellent piece of writing. It was original, entertaining, and interesting. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in next week's issue of the official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

749

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14 days may be credited.

#3342984

Review of The Promise

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Persephone

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Good description

Strong characterization

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

A little more tension and atmosphere

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I really enjoyed this story. I thought it was an intriguing concept that was well written and well presented. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in next week's official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3341763

Review of Tea Kettle In Awe

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Daizy May

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Excellent structure

Great rhyming vocabulary

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Nothing that I can think of

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this poem. It was entertaining, enjoyable, and very well written. All in all, an excellent piece of poetry. Great work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"