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Review Requests: OFF
4,263 Public Reviews Given
4,392 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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Review of All To Herself  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
The following is an official review for your HSP: Sustaining the Sizzle class assignment.



Hi percy goodfellow -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.


WHAT WORKED

*Checkv* Good, realistic dialogue.

*Checkv* Nice twist at the end.


WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

*Xv* Too much dialogue and not enough eroticism.

*Xv* I felt like the "getting serious" moment was a little underplayed... and more as if this were the lead-in to a potentially serious relationship rather than the actual revelation of a serious relationship.


OVERALL IMPRESSION

I liked your characters and the story. The bandits on the road provided a nice sense of danger and variety to the work, although I was hoping to see the requirements of the assignment shine through a little more than they did. In particular, I think the open, "this is the beginning of something" ending undercuts the effectiveness of making this a serious relationship-establishing moment for the two of them. The dialogue was great, but good erotic detailing was sacrificed as a result. Other than those two issues, this was a well-written and enjoyable piece. Nice work! *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 

Review Signature for the Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group.
677
677
Review of Swamp Thing  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, this is Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/31 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

Good use of the prompt, and an unexpected ending with some humor. Nicely done! *Smile*

Thanks for entering this round of the competition. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff
678
678
Review of Sugar  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I'm Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/30 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

Great story, with a great ending! Congratulations on being the winner for today's Daily Flash Fiction Challenge! Your winning GPs are attached to this review. *Smile*

Thanks for entering this round of the contest. Keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
679
679
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, I'm Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/29 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

Good use of the prompt and a great twist at the end. Nicely done!

Thanks for entering this round of the contest. Keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*

Best regards,

Jeff
680
680
Review of The First Time  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

Hi percy goodfellow -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.


WHAT WORKED

*Checkv* Good use of detail.

*Checkv* Good distribution of eroticism in the story.


WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

*Xv* The opening segment felt a little disjointed from the rest of the story, particularly with the visual section break... making it feel a bit like it was added in at the last moment. I would suggest getting rid of that visual section break and working the description into a more natural flow, so it seems that the opening description is a natural beginning to the story.


OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I really liked the characters in this story, and I think you've definitely got the hang of putting erotic content in throughout the story. Nicely done. *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 

Review Signature for the Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group.
681
681
Review of Ruse  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, this is Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/27 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

Good use of the prompt and great twist at the end. An all-around great flash fiction story. Nicely done! *Smile*

Thanks for entering this round of the DFFC! Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff
682
682
Review of Lost Magic  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, this is Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/27 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

Good use of description, and excellent application of the prompt. I liked it a lot. Good job! *Smile*

Thanks for entering this round of the DFFC! Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff
683
683
Review of School Days  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, this is Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/27 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

Good story. I enjoyed your take on the prompt. Congratulations on being the 10/27 winner! Your gift points are attached to this review. *Smile*

Thanks for entering this round of the DFFC! Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff
684
684
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, this is Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/26 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge!

I enjoyed this story... good twist at the end, and well set up. Nicely done! *Smile*

Thank you for entering this round... keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

Jeff
685
685
Review of Old Aunt Lisa!  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a very well written and engaging story. I thought you did a great job with the prompt and that you wrote a solid 300-word short story. Thanks for entering the 10/25 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge. Keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*

Jeff
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686
Review of The Handoff  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for entering the 10/25 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge! I enjoyed your story, particularly with the elegant descriptive detail, which is hard to achieve in such a short piece of writing! Nicely done!

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Jeff
687
687
Review of Daddy's Girl  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)
This was an enjoyable entry. Although it felt like it jumped around a little bit, I liked the fact that your characters were unique and distinctive, and you mixed dialogue with narrative effectively. A good effort... keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*


Jeff
688
688
Review of The First Time  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction challenge for the second day in a row! I thought this was a really well-rounded, enjoyable story with a great ending. All in all, excellent flash fiction. Your winning GPs are attached to this review. Keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*

Jeff
689
689
Review of Adventures  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good story, cheryl losch ! As the one and only entrant in the 10/23 round of the DFFC... congratulations on being the winner! Your winning GPs are attached to this review, and I'd like to thank you for your continued participation in this contest. *Smile*

Keep up the good work and keep writing!


Jeff
690
690
Review of TheTwist  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this expansion on your original DFFC story. You did a great job fleshing out the story that was inspired by this particular prompt... and is a testament to how you can grow a short few hundred words of flash fiction into a longer and more detailed short story. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter! *Smile*
691
691
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for the link to this item in my last issue of the official Mystery newsletter! I enjoyed this item, particularly the second-person perspective, which was a refreshing change from the more traditional first and third-person perspectives. It would be my pleasure to feature it in the next issue of the newsletter. *Smile*

Keep up the good work and keep writing!
692
692
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, this is Jeff and I'm your judge for the 10/21 round of the Daily Flash Fiction challenge.

I really enjoyed this story... you created a wonderful character in Tina, and you included the items from the prompt in a creative way. Congratulations on being the winner of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge for 10/21! Your winning GPs are included with this review. *Smile*

Thanks for entering the contest... keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*

Jeff
693
693
Review of Guns and Red Wine  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, this is Jeff and I'm your judge for the 10/21 round of the Daily Flash Fiction challenge.

I really enjoyed this story. The only issue I had was that the prompt said to include the listed items, and you used "slot machine" as a descriptive simile (rather than including an actual slot machine itself)... but other than that, you did a great job with this story. Very well written! *Smile*

Thanks for entering the contest... keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*

Jeff
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694
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, this is Jeff and I'm your judge for the 10/21 round of the Daily Flash Fiction challenge.

Good characters, good inclusion of the items in the prompt... all in all, a satisfying flash fiction story. *Smile*

Thanks for entering the contest... keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*

Jeff
695
695
Review of Twisted Fate  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is Jeff and I'll be reviewing your entry for the 10/20 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge. Overall, I enjoyed your story. I thought it was well written and there was a great, surprise twist at the end. Great job! *Smile*

Keep up the good work and keep writing!
696
696
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is Jeff and I'll be reviewing your entry for the 10/20 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge. I thought you did a really great job with this story... a very inventive take on the prompt and an unexpected ending. Well done!

Keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*
697
697
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great to see you around these parts again, Jim! Except for a slightly out-of-order list of demands (food, then woman? *Confused*) *Pthb**Laugh*, I thought this was an excellent entry. Everything I hoped for in the prompt and more. Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction challenge for 10/19! Your winning GPs are enclosed with this review. *Smile*
698
698
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is Jeff and I'll be reviewing your entry for the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge (10/19). Overall, I thought this was a unique and creative story that took familiar character from literature and put a fresh spin on them. Very creative! *Smile*
699
699
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, my name is Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/18/10 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

I thought you did a good job with the characters and the way you set the narrative up for the inevitable finale. Good use of detail, and an excellent take on the prompt. Nice job!

Thank you for submitting your entry. Keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*


- Jeff
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700
Review of Keys  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, my name is Jeff and I'll be your judge for the 10/18/10 round of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.

Good use of the prompt, compelling characters, and a flowing, effective narrative. All in all, a solid effort. *Smile*

Thank you for submitting your entry. Keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*


- Jeff
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