Bless your heart. This is great. Good form, certainly made me smile (and laugh in some places).
What we don't realize as kids is that what's uncool when we're young isn't so uncool when we're adults. Or maybe those things just don't matter as much.
This reminded me of my sister too. She walked into walls as a kid. Never could figure out why. But her daughter does the same thing.
This is a cute story. There are some places where your apostrophe's have come out as equal signs. It's always a good idea to check your stories and poems after you've entered them, so you can edit those kinds of things right away.
I know about those terriers and how they think they can guard the world.
I think this is the first time I've visited your portfolio. Welcome to Writing.com. Do let me know if I can help you get to know and understand us.
Blessings,
Kenzie
Spike The Wonder Dog (ASR) Spike the Wonder Dog. I think of him as I sit outside each morning having coffee time. #438457 by Kenzie
This line isn't proper English.....
How time has truly flied.
But "How time has truly flown" wouldn't rhyme.
How about.....How time truly flies?
I know this is something you've already given to your son, and it has beautiful sentiment. He is blessed to had a dad who cares so much. Not all are so lucky.
The lines, though, are a bit uneven. Here's what I might do with it.
How fast you have grown.
How time truly flies.
The day you were born,
You touched me inside.
Never was there a day
You didn’t give me joy.
Special in every way
My precious birthday boy.
Birthday time, here again,
Like ones that came before.
I hope ‘tis a happy one,
That they’ll be many more.
So now read my birthday words,
And know that they are true.
You'll always be my buddy,
I’ll always be proud of you.
It's certainly good as it is. But as I tell every poet, a friend of mine who makes his living writing poetry and reading it to groups, gave me some excellent advice. He told me to always read poetry aloud to see if it flows properly, and if the meter is correct. That's great advice. Sometimes, what appears perfect on paper or on the computer screen needs just a bit of tweaking to make it sound right when read aloud.
We're glad you've joined our Writing.com family. Let me know if I can help you as you get used to being here.
Interesting thoughts. But, as in most of life, I don't think things are quite this simple. My first husband was a combination of the slob and the obsessive. And what a combination that was!
This is well written and well organized. I would suggest, maybe, shorter paragraphs. I'd also suggest spaces between paragraphs to make it easier to read.
Excellent. The directions for this contest asked you to describe spring so that it could be seen, felt, heard, smelled and touched. You did that! I certainly felt that I was in the midst of that beginning of spring in your poem. And I loved the use of the cat.
Good for you. It's good to stand up for your beliefs and for your friends.
It always amazes me when organizations of any kind say, "go ahead and leave" to people who have been their supporters and their friends.
Thanks for sharing, for letting us know about the goings on of this organization. I've heard some similar stories about other non-profits from someone close to me who has served on boards. People who give and volunteer for them would be so surprised at what goes on behind the scenes.
Wonderfully written, a great ending to a mere 20 cent problem. That you thought about paying the $30+ dollars to just end this is exactly what most people probably do, rather than fight the system. But as you discovered, contacting the local news people about problems of this sort is a great alternative. Good for you.
Thanks once more for a wonderful addition to the story. I do like how you've handled having people be mostly non-judgmental about the fact that Crystal and Erik had been together a few weeks before the wedding. In the story, it makes sense. Oh that real people could always try to understand before they judge.
Thanks, Jim. You've done it again. There are many things about which a writer can write they they haven't experienced. That's what research is for. But, writing about love like this can, I think, only be done by someone who has participated in this kind of loving relationship.
I did find a few boo-boo's...
cutting the first two pieces and handed on each to Erick and Crystal (one)
I’d like to have all ht eligible bachelors here today form a group (the)
Second later Crystal screamed with delight (Seconds)
Something else. When the Pastor gave Erik and Crystal the tape, it sounded like he was talking about his own church, and not the one where the wedding was held.
Wow, what an impressive list. I have read many of them and agree that these are some of the best. I'm honored to be among these writers and their writings.
Thanks for your kind words and for the awardicon for
If you've already had a column in the newspaper...have you thought about expanding that?
I worked for our local daily newspaper and discovered that most small and mid-sized papers use freelance writers. I helped negotiate the contracts for the freelancers.
What most of our freelance writers discovered was that they could create one column for numerous papers. Our cooking columnist was more than willing to share information about her experiences and earnings.
Gin's column appears in 15-25 mid-sized papers throughout the country. With us, she received $45 a week. If her earnings with those other papers were between $25 and $50 each, she was earning a decent income with just the cooking column. She was able to work at home. And she often worked weeks in advance, so she could travel with her hubby.
Personally, I've just been invited to write for a web site. They are going to give me 1 or 2 assignments each week and pay $100-150 for each one. They found me; I didn't inquire of them. How? They found my writings at another site that paid me only $15 per column.
The work of writing for a living is not an easy task, but it can be done. I belong to an online mom writer's group. Most of those members earn over $12,000 a year. That's not a living wage, by any means. But for moms staying home with their kids, it helps the family finances. Most of them will tell you that they started out writing for free or for peanuts, just to get exposure.
One of those moms took my advice about finding a niche column to write for multiple newspapers. She now writes a travel column for 15 newspapers each week.
There are ways. I think writers have to be willing to be creative in finding markets. And they need to be versed in marketing - themselves and their writings.
You've done it again, Harry. I always love your storoems, and this one was no different. I did like the setting, the chivalry, and the prophecy fulfilled.
This is beautiful free verse, about such a sad event. We do tend to remember our loved ones, long after they are gone, on their birthday. Children we've lost will always have a different kind of special place in our hearts. And birthdays will surely be remembered.
I saw this Texas winter - as I was traveling in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. Sure was different than where I live south of Houston. Good description. I thought about writing about what I saw outside the window. You did it well.
Well written, to be sure. And this certainly made me smile. Vacuuming in the dark? Not me. I turn on every light and open the blinds, so I can see that I'm reaching all the dirt.
Guess we'd make interesting friends. I think I'm like your mother. Let they sunshine in! (They do call me Ms. Merry Sunshine, after all.)
This is well written and shows your true emotions about your disorder, and about the teasing you've gotten over the years about being skinny.
Although I cannot say I ever had that problem, "some of my closest friends were skinny." I was always amazed at the things people would say to them. Or, as you mentioned, that people would have the nerve to grab their wrists to see exactly how skinny they were. They wouldn't do that to a fat person. What gave them the right to do so to a thin person?
You've handled this well, it seems.
Congrats on the size 7's. I think that's a great size - whether one has gained or lost weight to get there.
I think you're on to something with this story. It must explain why some folks have to visit said fast food places every day. And why others look on in disbelief as their friends insist on fast food again.
Good job. There are a few places where you have 2 sentence fragments that could be combined to make sentences. They'd be long sentences, though.
I have close relatives who have worked for the same company for 23 years. From the day she was recruited in college, she was put on the fast track. They knew they needed women in high places, and she was groomed for that. Her husband was finally wooed from his company to hers, so that they could be transferred together. He worked in project and plant management, she in corporate management. And so they were groomed. And so they changed.
With each subsequent promotion, move, and increase in benefits, these 2 people have changed. In 23 years, they've changed dramatically. They don't see it themselves, but those who haven't been on their merry-go-round ride can see it. The longer they work for big daddy, the more they are willing to overlook everything that company does that is bad for the company, bad for the community, bad for everyone except those who have climbed high enough on the ladder to be unaffected.
Pointing these things out to the couple is useless. They spout the propaganda that graces local newspapers and magazines - about the wonderful things their company does for the economy and the environment...as lawsuits are still being settled for the mistakes they've made over the years. They think everyone not affiliated with "their" company is just jealous - of their "successes" and their rise in the community, in the size of their home, in the amount of wealth they've accumulated. Still, in the back of their minds, they know that over the years they've replaced people of the age they've now reached. And, finally, they worry that they might be the next to be let go - before they reach that magic number of 25 or 30 years and the added retirement perks that would mean to them.
Most folks don't change overnight. It takes years for values to be eroded. Society is the same way. There are so many things in today's world we now take for granted, that we would not have tolerated years ago. Gradually, our sensibilities, our integrity, has eroded. Gradually, we've become what we are today. And changing back would take one big tragedy, I'm afraid. No one wants to give up the so-called perks that Uncle Sam has given us.
Sorry to rant. I'll be sure to check back on this one.
Blessings,
Kenzie
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