Yes, I have to agree. While I can understand doing good deeds anonymously, if one is offering one's "wisdom" in the form of criticism, one should certainly do so proudly and not cowardly. There are certainly those who will object to any criticism, and maybe anonymous is hiding because of that. But, like you, I've discovered anonymous likes mostly to offer unkind and snide remarks when criticizing. I suggest just ignorning nasty anonymous reviews. After all, we cannot check the profile of such a person. And they may not be qualified at all to offer such advice.
BTW, there are 2 places, I think, where I might change sentences so they didn't end in "to" and "with." Hmmm. One might have been a phrase that ended with "with." Is that confusing enough?
Amen! I agree wholeheartedly. When I look at public reviews, sometimes I just cry for the poet whose works have been torn apart and put back together again, looking nothing like the original "work of heart." I usually liken poems to abstract art. Their meanings may be obvious to some and not to others.
It also makes me cringe when someone states categorically that poetry should not be trite or should never use slang or cliches. Who said? You're right. Poetry does come from the soul, and when we attack poetry, I think we're attacking the very being of a person.
I write in many forms, but most of my best writings just come tumbling out, with my fingers typing quickly to keep up with my brain. When that happens, I look back when the writing (story or poem) is finished and just say, "Ah." I'm satisfied, and quite frankly, except for corrections in spelling or grammar, I probably won't change what "feels right" to me. As you aptly pointed out, it is my baby.
The only thing I might change about this one is to think of a way to not end this sentence with "at."
Some you will like; some you will wrinkle your nose at.
I have to agree with lifewriter on this one. It shouldn't be classified as a children's story.
Even though this might actually happen in our children's world, as parents we want our children to read things just a bit better than their real world. That's why, when I was a kid, Dick and Jane were the books used to help us learn to read. That's why our parents pushed us to read Trixie Beldon and classics, rather than comic books.
Also, to me, having the teacher use "gonna" instead of "going to" just didn't ring true.
Horray Winklett. What an awesome idea - to recognize those who go about being kind and recognizing others. Seems that there's a circle of love forming here. We're passing it on...just as it should be.
Your description says it all...
"For those whose kindness is richly apparent and sincerely admired."
Thanks for posting this. We need to be reminded of the kindness of others. (Our world seems to be so unkind. It's nice to have this corner of the world that is just a bit different.)
This is both good...and sad. I think we've all felt that same feeling of losing a friendship or love, and of feeling betrayed. You've said this well. Often the disappointment of not having someone close with whom to share our inner selves is what hurts most.
Good poem. No wonder you were one of the winners. I like this. But as I read, I kept thinking, "This is what family SHOULD BE. Not necessarily what it is." Guess that's because my family only criticizes, never helps. Friends and strangers are more help than family in my book. Maybe they're the real family...
Wow, what a story. Perfectly told, I think. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same times as the jilted bride. No wonder you got an awardicon for this one. It was well deserved.
Thanks for sharing. You're right. This is not what I would call an ideal vacation.
Wow, what a story. Perfectly told, I think. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same times as the jilted bride. No wonder you got an awardicon for this one. It was well deserved.
More good writing and good thoughts. I think much is wrong with our public school system. Not only are we not developing tomorrow's leaders, we're not even encouraging young people to love learning.
We're not making them responsible for their own actions or inaction. Parents are leaving education up to the schools. I don't even think there are PTA or PTO's in our area anymore. There just isn't enough interest. Or parents claim they are just to busy to be involved.
Yes, funerals can certainly be funny. We could just set up tape recorders to say those same things that people always say.
And you're right. Real friends are the ones who show up after it's all over and everyone else has disappeared after saying, "Let me know if there's anything I can do..."
You write well. I'm just not sure I agree with everything you have to say.
About airport security... I had a friend who worked for an airlines at the gate. The computer selected many of those who were to be searched, based upon certain criteria - like when and how the ticket was purchased. The computer doesn't know the race or age of the purchaser, just when and how. And there are some things that just trigger searching.
Beyond those computer selected searches, the airline personnel were also required to search 10% of the passengers and to select them randomly. If they didn't, they could be fined $11,000. And you know what? If you were a terrorist who thought that senior citizens and children would never be searched...wouldn't you think about using them? Think about it.
And news people? Frankly, I think sometimes we show too much about what's going on. Everything that we saw on CNN news is/was available for our "enemies" to see too. We should have investigative reporters showing them even more? I don't think so.
You always write well and make us think. For that, I thank you.
Good for you. You've explained yourself rather well, and have done it to "near perfection" - thus the 5. You're right. Many have written about this. Many have explained their rating systems. But it's always nice to find out why another reviews as he/she does.
Like you, I've encountered many who rave about how wonderful something I've written was, then give it 4.5. I've even received glowing reviews from some who then give a 4 rating or even a 3.5. Depending on the mood I'm in, I might respond asking what could be improved.
Perfection, like beauty, must be in the eye of the beholder. I find much "near perfection" here. Besides, there are plenty of folks willing to attack other writers and even get ugly in their public reviews. I prefer being an encourager. And if something is REALLY bad, I prefer making suggestions in private.
Amen. Kindness is certainly the answer to so many of the world's problems. Jesus told us that loving God and loving our neighbor were the most important things. Loving them means we'll honor and respect them.
You're right. Even in the midst of problems, we all have blessings...if we'll just look around to see them.
Good for you. It's important that we try to understand each other. Tollerance is a word everyone tosses around. But tollerance is just putting up with people. Better that we love them, honor and respect them. And learn to understand.
You're right. Dreams is a fine representative. Every religion has its fanatics, the ones who make the news. Here at Writing.com we have folks who don't makek the news, but live the lives.
Good job. The stories are similar no matter where the homeless are located. My brother is one of the homeless in Pittsburgh, PA. Thanks for showing the humanity of these people. We need to realize that most folks don't wake up one day and think, "I think I'll be homeless when I grow up."
Indeed. The principle of ETCH belongs in all of our relationships. If only it were so...
In business, it seems so many are taking short cuts. Not thinking of the customer, and certainly not the employees. Employees respond by not caring about the customer....and certainly not about the boss or owner.
Like smiles, these things are easily passed along - the good and the bad.
One mistake....
misunderstoo - needs a "d" on the end.
Aren't kids great? Looks like you're doing a fine job in raising these kids.
At 5, my son was baptized and the next week he wrote a song and sang it in church and taught it to the congregation. His dad accompanied him.
At 8, he attended confirmation classes and joined the church. The next day, he went to the pastor's office to ask him what job he could do to serve. He took his membership vows quite seriously - that he would give his time, his talents and his tithe. (The pastor made him the editor of the kid's newsletter.)
I would suggest.....I hear the following....would be better as "I heard the following:"
What a great description of the church, the wedding party, and the walk down the aisle. I liked that you mentioned one journey was ending and another beginning. All that was missing, I think, was just a tiny explanation of the thoughts that made her lips quiver.
Wow. This is quite a story. And, with the number of abortions performed every year, this is a story that could be true for so many.
I do have a few suggestions:
that everything changed (Maybe better as "when everything changed"?)
After spending a mundane youth in sharp contrast with the big-budget Hollywood movies I thrived on, I slowly became resigned to spend the rest of my life in the same fashion. (After spending a mundane youth in sharp contrast with the big-budget Hollywood movies I thrived on, I slowly became resigned to spending the rest of my life in the same fashion.)
Every adult I know says it was the best time of their lives. (Every adult I have known said it was the best time of their life. Or "All adults I've known have said it was the best time of their lives.)
I found myself hoping for that knock more everyday (every day)
then who needed God anymore. (any more)
opening and closing his arthritic hands as he tries to warm them. (tried)
“Hello John,” she tells him, (told)
I hope she’s not still sleeping. (I hoped she wasn't sleeping.)
Wow. Well done. You turn a phrase well. Obviously know enough about cars and jumping this way to make it sound possible. And the reaction of the man, the panic, sounded real as well. Good job.
There are some wonderful thoughts here, some great word phrases. But the problem comes in having it in all capitals, and that your apostrophes ended up being question marks. These are a distraction of what could be more beautiful.
I'd also suggest arranging this differently on the page. Perhaps like this.
I know what you are.
You are a thief, the word's greatest.
What you take, you keep forever.
Your grasp will never let go.
Hiding my treasure has never stopped you.
You know just how to fool me.
When I ask for it back, you disappear.
I am weak; you are untouchable!
or
I know what you are.
You are a thief, the word's greatest.
What you take, you keep forever.
Your grasp will never let go.
Hiding my treasure has never stopped you.
You know just how to fool me.
When I ask for it back, you disappear.
I am weak; you are untouchable!
Boy that was a special delivery and you've told the story well. I don't think I could have responded as calmly as you did to a co-worker about what you did over the weekend, though.
"My daughter and her partner had a baby boy yesterday, I was there, he was born at home you know."
That is a perfect ending to the story.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
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