Mighty good thoughts about waiting on the Lord. We're impatient folks, and between fast food and microwaves, we're certainly used to getting things right away!
But God's timing is not ours, and that's often a hard lesson to learn.
Hey, thanks for the information on rejection letters. It's nice to hear from someone who was on the inside - even if for a short time. There have been times in my writing career when I've had all of these literally papering the wall!
Hey, I just realized I hadn't finished reading these chapters. As usual, this one kept my interest. And made me wish for such a love... Not that I would wish for the physical problems, mind you.
Tell me...what kind of research did you do for this??? (The physical stuff - not the love stuff. I know you're experienced in that area!)
Good job. It's fun writing with prompts, and you did a fine job. Good dialogue. Funny. I almost knew when the lady found one piece of corn in her soup that there should have more. I was right!
Only one problem:
offcourse tonight’s meal is on the house (should be "of course tonight's meal lis on the house")
This is pretty good for a first attempt at poetry. My only complaint is that it's too short. It does speak volumes in a few short words, of course. But I'm guessing you have much more to say.
Excellent, as usual. The flow of life is like a river!
I've read this three times now in the last 15 minutes, and loved it each time. And focused on different parts of the life cycle/river flowing each time.
Of course, I like best the part that talks about nourishing others...
Excellent. I love this! I'm always marveling at God's earthly creatures. You've taken that a step farther by, then, approaching the mirror and seeing God's child.
I really love the last part...
The greatest Love
In all creation
Is calling your name.
Excellent points. I thought I'd seen everything written thus far about reviewing, but I missed this one. I love that you mentioned that giving reviews is another way of practicing our own writing. Sometimes I cringe at reviews that use horrible grammar or spelling.
I have noticed, too, how many reviewers are using lots of smiley faces or colors. I'm always afraid to do that - since there isn't a button to check to preview before sending.
Great story. Just enough suspense. A bit of humor. Kylie was shown using different senses. I'm glad she was sensible enough and curious enough to explore that broken glass. It could have been something far worse.
Interesting poll. Okay, so only 34 have responded thus far...but itn's it interesting that 68% knew they enjoyed writing before age 15? I'm supposing that's true. I think it's the same for reading. I think one has to develop a love of words early on.
Think I'll check back after more responses come in.
Just curious.
I wonder, at the beginning where you have 2 verses starting with My heart...and having 4 lines, if the next verse might need a 4th line too.
My heart,
feels the loss
he has suffered
(Maybe
My heart
feels the heartbreak
he has suffered
with this loss)
Just a thought.
Anyway, welcome to Writing.com. You bio says you're homeschooling your kids. Good for you! My son was homeschooled from 4th through 12th grade. What a job that is!
Hope you've arranged for your kids to write here too. I'd be glad to read their work....
What interesting thoughts/opinions. I'm one of many women, though, who enjoy flowers from afar, but cannot understand wanting them arranged throughout the house. They die there! (Besides, the cost is outrageous and could be spent on more practical things.)
I'm glad I read this one, though. Certainly food for thought.
Welcome to the Writing.com family. This poem is pretty good, but I noticed as I read it aloud that there were places where I would have broken the lines differently to make it flow better. As it's written, the lines have between 3 and 13 syllables.
Hey, good job. Making a PB & J sandwich isn'g easy to explain, is it? I used to use making PB & J sandwiches in "training the trainer" classes. One group would demonstrate only - no words. Another would use words only. Third group would use words and actions.
Hmmm. I think poetry is like abstract art. Some appeals to some folks, others appeal to other folks. Not every poem (or story for that matter) is going to appeal to everyone.
The thing is...if you're a good writer/poet and try writing a bad one, it still comes out pretty good. Ever notice? It's like great singers trying to sing badly.
Hmmm. Interesting story poem. I do think you need to read it aloud to adjust the length of some of the lines.
I guess the story part just emphasizes some of society's problems. Falling in love that quickly? Hiding single parenthood? Questioning a single parent's motives or priorities?
Anyway...definitely interesting.
Welcome to the Writing.com family, by the way. I look forward to reading more of your work. Give a yell if you need any help.
Yes, I have to agree. While I can understand doing good deeds anonymously, if one is offering one's "wisdom" in the form of criticism, one should certainly do so proudly and not cowardly. There are certainly those who will object to any criticism, and maybe anonymous is hiding because of that. But, like you, I've discovered anonymous likes mostly to offer unkind and snide remarks when criticizing. I suggest just ignorning nasty anonymous reviews. After all, we cannot check the profile of such a person. And they may not be qualified at all to offer such advice.
BTW, there are 2 places, I think, where I might change sentences so they didn't end in "to" and "with." Hmmm. One might have been a phrase that ended with "with." Is that confusing enough?
Blessings,
Kenzie
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