This is sad. What's most sad is that kids and young adults who feel they are different feel the need to take such drastic actions. Yet it happens every day. Sigh. We're supposed to be different and unique - each of us.
I would suggest that you divide this into paragraphs and put white space between paragraphs, making it easier to read.
What a hoot! Your humorous poem about Southern "girls" was write on. When one arrives in the South, all that is evident is the chewin' folks. After a while, the eyes adjust enough to be able to see the charming ones as well.
I'm glad my son was raised in FL and TX. He learned to call his elders Ma’am or Sir (or Mrs., Miss, Mr...)
Now that I've moved north again, it bugs me that everyone just assumes they have the right to call me by my first name without asking. I got used to that Southern respect.
What an interesting twist to some old stories. Well done. Kept me interested throughout. Made me laugh.
Signs of a good story to me. (That...and there weren't any glaring and annoyingly obvious mistakes.)
Wow. This says it's comedy. Maybe I'm just not in the mood for any kind of bashing today....
Okay, for the most part, this was well written. There were some sentences with a few too many commas and others ending with "to" or "about."
(Perhaps we can blame this on the fact that some country music crept into your thoughts?)
Its songs are played on more radio stations than they were originally designed to. Might be better as...Country music now finds its way to stations originally designed for other types of music. Or some such.
All the songs are written about domestic abuse, suicide, alcoholism, and personal problems nobody really wants to hear about. Correct grammar would be...All the songs are written about domestic abuse, suicide, alcoholism, and personal problems about which nobody really wants to hear.
Of course, that statement isn't correct. No one? As one who has experienced domestic violence, whose has known families touched by suicide, and who has close family members who are alcoholics, I can tell you this. The messages cannot get out enough about these horrible life events. And music is one way to get messages out.
When I lived in the north, I didn't like country music either. I thought it was all "twang-twang" and about cheating on your wife.
Then I moved to Texas and discovered a wide range of country music. I watched the entire country music award show and was really impressed. I think Alan Jackson's "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?" is the most beatiful song I've ever heard.
Anyway, you don't have to worry about giving Texas back to Mexico. Most Texans really want to become their own country again.
And what the world really needs is to learn to stop making generalizations about people - based on their location, skin color, gender, etc.
This was an excellent way of looking at discrimination. Children don't see differences like adults do. When my son was in kindergarten, he really didn't know that the girl sitting next to him was of another race. He did know that her skin was darker than his, but he was so pale that everyone was darker.
Wow. What does one do when reading/reviewing a poem which the poet introduces as bad? If it is, indeed, bad, then the poet has succeeded. Does that, then, make it a good poem? Or a good effort? Too complex for me tonight.
Anyway, I think you were above average in creating something you wanted to be bad. Figure that one out.
This is an excellent tribute to your grandmother. Too many kids today don't have the opportunity to get to know their grandparents or to learn from them. Even those that are close by - like your siblings - don't know what wisdom they can be missing out on.
I noticed a few places where the verb tenses changed, but overall this is one great tribute.
I think you and your grandmother were both blessed.
Good message. Like the repetition. Only thing that bothered me a bit was the use of The Person. I guess that's like using "Average Man." But it sounds so impersonal - and God's love is reeeeaaaallllyy personal.
You state your opinion well. I would suggest some white space between paragraphs.
If only every person eligible to vote would actually listen to candidates and make their decisions that way, we'd have a better country. But as you stated, many vote for party regardless.
And there are always who vote for the craziest reasons. My grandmother used to look at a man's bottom lip and decide if he had strength that way.
Hi Cliff, This was good - told well about something bad. I heard just last week that not only aren't we counting those who worked there and died, but we're not counting military men and women who make it to hospitals and later die.
I'm not saying we should or shouldn't have gone to war. But we should know the truth.
Good job. If there was ever an event that inspired people to write poetry, it was Sept. 11. I worked at the local newspaper then and for 6 months every Sunday we printed poems written by our readers. Normally, our editor didn't want poetry submissions, but he relented for this event.
I like that you end by praying for everyone - even our "enemies."
Interesting poem about yourself. I love titles, and am often disppointed when I find something called "untitled." Perhaps here it actually makes sense. You describe yourself as being invisible. I guess and untitled poem is invisible too.
Great story. These words - attributed to one so young - are wise indeed. I would suggest some shorter paragraphs. It just makes it easier to stay involved in a story.
Good advice. It's hard to know these things when we're young. Then we get old and suddenly know that it really didn't matter all those times and years what others thought.
I would suggest you break this into more than one paragraph to make it easier to read.
Also:
I was whoever I wish (to keep in past tense - I was whoever I wished)
And, I think you're missing a word here:
After critics will always have there opinions (After all?)
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