I can honestly say, that when I started to read this, I was enthralled. At first I thought I was going to be bored to death. I mean how can someone ramble on like this for so long. However, I wasn't bored. I found it very interesting and captivating.
I didn't find a thing wrong and thought you did a wonderful Job. I hope to read more of your work in the future.
I thought you did a wonderful job on this. I found it to be cute and endearing to a little child. I loved the image you used. I thought it suited perfectly.
I couldn't find a thing wrong. I truly enjoyed reading this piece.
Wonderful job and I hope to read more of your work in the future.
Although I can't be more technical when it comes to reviewing poetry, I can tell you this is filled with heart and love. I enjoyed reading it and felt the pain of loss.
I think this is absolutely perfect and straight from the heart. To me it doesn't matter about form or technicality.
I have started to read your piece and found it riddled with errors. Okay, so now that's out of the way.
I see a lot of room for improvement and I am going to go over this with a fine tooth comb. I am going to send you an attachment with my notations on where and why things should be changed.
First most of the items needing to be changed will make it a better read instead of taking away from it as it's doing now.
I don't want to discourage your writing and I pray this does not. Any writer whether good or bad should always be encouraged to do better and learn from their mistakes.
I for one have learned a lot from the community here and even figured out a few things I simply wasn't seeing in my own writing. I hope to pass that along to others and help them become better writers.
I hope you keep up the good writing and feel free to give me a holler if you need help with anything.
I will be sending the critiqued review today or tomorrow.
I have given you a 5 because in my opinion I think it's perfect. I don't write poetry so reviewing it on a more technical aspect, I can not. However, I enjoyed reading this and could relate completely. I know the feelings you've described as I've lived them once upon a time.
I read your comments in the Review Request page and I hope you aren't trying to always change this to suit other people. Because in my findings you'll never make everyone happy. You will always find someone out there that doesn't believe it to be perfect.
If you feel it's perfect then that's all that matters.
I couldn't find anything wrong with spelling or grammar and I thought it was just perfect.
I absolutely love it. I am a huge C & W fan and think this is great. So many of those songs I relate to and this one is no different. I can relate to the words you have written and find myself happy, I am not longer living that kind of life and found a true happiness and an honest love.
I think you did a wonderful job and hope to read more of your work in the future.
This I thought to be an awesome piece. I think people forget if they have no one in the service, yet I know I won't forget those who have given so we can be free.
I thank you for such a wonderful piece and hope to read more of your work in the future.
I have found that in paragraph 1 and 5, the last line "because were free"
should be "because we're free".
This is my suggestion only and you're free to use it or not.
This is adorable! I think you did a great job on this and hope you keep writing little things for children.
I made note of some things below. I know it seems like a lot, but you do the same thing I do. Too many "that" within a story. I've made not of which ones could come out. It's up to you to use it or not.
Double spacing in between the lines, I don't like. It spaces out the paragraphs and everything seems to run together kind of like when the paragraph spacing is forgotten.
Now Jake was a very resourceful young man and he decided that he would just have to write Santa Claus a letter after they had found a new house to give Santa his new address, however, Jake didn’t know Santa’s address.
Now Jake’s Dad had never heard this little tale before but knowing that Jake’s Mom was pretty good at explaining things decided that it would all work out.
The next day Jake decided that he should ask his Mom how to find Santa’s address.
“Well I’m a little concerned that Santa Claus won’t be able to find us after we move so do you think that you could help me find his address on the internet?”
“If you think that is the way to go about it then I would be more than happy to help you, but, if you ask me I happen to know for a fact that Santa will be able to find you regardless if you send him a letter or not.”
“Well it just so happens that I had to move one year right before Christmas when I was about your age and Santa found me. You see the star on our tree has our name on it.” (line space)
“What does our Christmas star have to do with anything?”
“Mom you say that Santa can find us because of the star but that doesn’t really explain anything.” He replied matter of factly.
“Okay let me get us some more cookies and I will explain it all so that there will be no doubt in your mind that Santa will find us after we move.
Everybody has a Christmas star or a Christmas angle(angel)that they put on the top of their trees.
It is a special kind of Christmas magic that(which) is Santa’s alone.
It is because of this message that Santa is able to find our family.”
“I know honey but you will just have to trust in Santa Claus this year and I believe that you won’t be disappointed.”
“I’m glad that this little talk we had helped eases your mind now you need to go finish packing your things in the boxes because we leave next week.”
“I remember what you said and I know that it is something that has been going on in our family for a long time, but I think that I should have written Santa a letter telling him that we moved.”
“I wish you would have said something before this because I am afraid that it is too late to write him and let him know.
“I’ll try Mom. I know that Santa found you and Grandma so I will believe that he will find me too.”
In fact he could see a light coming out of his best friend Tom’s house and knew in his heart that Santa would never forget a child on this magical night.
You definately have a talent for writing love/romance poetry and I loved this one as well. You brought an image to mind of a wish I have. You did another wonderful job in making me smile and know in my heart your words are true.
I've chosen this one to be 2 of 3 of the reviews you won.
Wow! This one again was awesome. Again, I wish David were here instead just in thought. You brought to mind and heart a smile to begin my day. I love your writing and think it's truly beautiful.
I'm a sucker for love poems or romance items. Another awesome Job!
I had a hard time choosing which one to review. I absolutely love this one. I'm not great on reviewing poetry, but I let the writer know what I thought and felt.
You brought images of David (my love) to mind. You made me smile and wish he were here instead of at work. You did a wonderful job and I can't wait to read more. I thought everything flowed nicely and I didn't find any mistakes.
You have a way with words and I hope you always continue. I love reading your work and found this to be just as great as any other I have read. You made me think of that's happening in our world today and wonder if it will ever end. I pray for those not at home with their loved ones fight a war that will never end.
WOW! I have to say I found this to be very touching and well written. I couldn't find a thing wrong with it to make note of. You did a wonderful job! Although I wished Jackson had survived, I hope your well written words help someone. There is always someone there willing to be there for them in their great time of need.
Very well organized. I love the color and think you could use an image placed here in the folder. Hmmm...not sure what...but I think it would give it some color.
I see you have lots of poetry and hope to see more in the furture. Great job and I hope you keep up the great writing.
I am glad you wrote this. It's true there doesn't seem to be enough communication between couples. Irregardless of the amount of communication, both sides have to listen or all is for nothing. I think you've done a beautiful job on this and I yet again, couldn't find a thing wrong.
I commend you on the attention to spelling, punctuation and emotion. I truly enjoy reading your work.
You know, I've never thought about it before. I've had a few of salesmen come to my door over the years. I've always given them the time to speak before I tell them I'm not interested. I just find it rude to close the door and be rude. They have to make a living too.
I enjoyed reading this and hope that others will see that they are too simply trying to provide for a life and possibly a family of their own.
Interesting! Had me thinking there for a moment until I got to the end. Then you changed it. Nicely done.
I couldn't find anything wrong to make note of, but then you always do a wonderful job in your writing.
I have noticed you spelled realise and tantalising when I am used to realize and tantalizing. Though I have been informed they can be spelled the same way, simply the grammar of others. I find it different and interesting.
Absolutely nothing wrong with this that I could find. You've done a great job on this piece as well.
I could hear the words and her plea in my mind. I could picture "him" sitting there, in my mind ignoring her as most men do. They pretend to hear, but they truly don't. As least in my experience until now.
Wow...sad and heart breaking...I found this one to be another heartfelt piece. I thought it was well written. I personally find men who cry to be sensitive as well as strong. It's sad to think there are people out there suffering from those kinds of thoughts and being told such things.
I couldn't find a thing wrong as usual, a perfect piece to me.
Another wonderful piece of poetry! I commend you on such beautiful and heartfelt writing. I could yet again, find nothing wrong in your writing.
I felt saddened by this piece and know of what it feels like to love someone and those feelings not be returned. I know this happens more than love survives and I pray the relationship I am in will endure all and come out strong and true in the end.
I thank you for the opportunity to read such beautiful work.
Keep up the great writing!
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