Really good. A tweet here and there with a small tune up. It will be good as new. Really, rework some of the parts and your clock will continue in its best form when it TICKS and TOCKS. Lynda with a Y
Interesting poem. What I see is that you had some big decisions to make and came to terms with that. Once you made up your mind it was all the way or nothing. I liked it. keep putting these things that are in your mind down on paper. Good work! Lynda with a Y
Understanding why you won! I believe anyone who has traveled by bus can relate to this story. I know I can. Two times from Houston to California and back. Oh, never forget those rides. You keep the air mystery, anticipation, irritation and relief in your story. That is what riding on a bus was to me. Great story and very well written. Lynda with a Y
OK, that just left me wanting more! So I will just keep reading about you. I think that when you write about something you know, the words come out easier - or, do they? Lynda with a Y
To me it is wonderful to grow up among trees and creeks and watch for the changing of the seasons. How very luck you were. Then to know at a very early age you wanted and could write! Please let us all know when your book gets on the shelf or Amazon. I for one would love to read it. Wishing you joys of a lifetime in writing.
Lynda with a Y
Hi Ian. I believe you have the makings of a good story. However, you need to check and recheck your work before putting it out for all to see. You have several misspellings (for example: heel, not heal and then instead of than)and repeated sentences. You have sentences that do not make sense. As I said, your story will be wonderful when you cut it apart and put it back together fitting each piece together like a puzzle. never stop writing as that is how you learn. I for one am still learning and if I write late at night I find I have a lot more misspellings. LOL! I would like to see this again once you have rejuvenated it.
Heartfelt. You must know what you are talking about as every bit is so true and those are fleeting moments that we cherish. I would go a step further and give the child's age. A very good poem.
Lynda with Y
Wonderful; poem! Maybe a little more research on wolves. Read Jodi Piccults book "Lone Wolf". It really gives you and insight on wolves and it is based on true account.
Love it. love it and just really love it! Got to the heart of the question of do you really want to love a girl how writes and her complexities.
More writing please.
Lynda with a y
This is a powerful piece. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. Continue to write as I think you will put yor feeling into anything that comes your way. Lynda with a Y
An endless story of the young versus the older. Those who think they understand love but do not. Then, there are those who know and only exploit it. Great read. Good story line. Keep up the good work. Your writing is good and I would love to see more of what you do. Lynda with a y
Very personal. I like the way you are trying to work through all of the feelings. Love, abandonment, kicked out, true death and so on. The story of the people in the group are tragic and yet pure. What a wonderful show of their feelings in your writing. And, although you did not speak much of your trouble but let us have a glimpse into it ,you wrote a beautiful peace. Thanks for sharing,
Lynda with Y
So true. Autistic children or children born different from others are wonderful gifts from God. Loved a lot but sometimes not. So many guilty feelings you have to endure, but not really anyones fault. Love them. Work with them. Get the help they need. And you, whomever you are, take care of your self. If your are not well and able to cope then what do they do. Your are their army. God bless you and be with you through your endurance's.
Lynda with a Y
I thought your piece was good but (in my personal opinion) you could have said more.. Why didn't the teacher point out the ones that did not think he was a terrorist? I just felt that something was left out of a really great theme. Keep striving upward. You have all that it takes. Just think "If I were that child, or if I were that man) then write on.
Lynda with y
good work.
I love this story in a poem. I can remember as a child hardly being able to contain myself because family near and far were coming to our house and we were going to visit and then eat until we dropped. The best part is where Sara saw the homeless people and decided to help. Then she received the best gift of all, sharing with those that were unable to have a feast like we do. Giving really does something to your soul.
Great Job! Keep up the good work. Happy Holidays
Lynda with a y
#1580061 - Illusions
I loved the description of the flashy lights and blocks (hopscotch) this character is thinking. Merlin continued to intrigue me as he pulled me into the story. When I realized he was a cockroach (ugh) I had to hands down give it to you. This was really funny. I have often thought cockroaches are extremely intelligent and now it makes me wonder how many more people do to. Great characterization.
Lynda with a Y
This is a wonderful piece. So true of all us Irishmen and ladies. We love to celebrate life's passing, especially when it is one of our own. A beautiful creative understanding of the Irish. Well done Mari McKee
Lynda Miller
Keep this story going.My sister had the same thing plus other health problems. It took a long time for them to diagnose her as they did not know what it was. Many people do not know about it or understand what it does to a person. You have started this article on the very right track. Great description. Keep up the book.
Lynda MIller
I loved the story. This has happen to so many people with different appliances. Your description of the toast made my mouth water and I almost got up to make me some toast! However, I instead, stayed here to finish your story. I was hoping for a show down at the Boxo Mart Store, but you played it different.That was a bit of a downer for me. But all in all your story is very funny and good.. Lynda Miller
This is such a deep, dark poem. I hope it does not mean this is happening to you and someone you love. On the third section you should take has out. Otherwise you would have to use taken.
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