This is a great song...I could actually picture this being sung with the piano...it is great...I would love to see more of your songs and poems...I think that the person you are writing about is still a close friend...Hope you keep writing...Everything will work out...
I like that the lyrics are short and simple...I think that you need to add more description to this...I know that reading so far one of your other poems that you can make imagery in this with no problem at all...I really think that this would be a great poem or a song with more imagery...
I think that this poem is great...I can't wait to read more of your poems...I think that the imagery is great...You can see how you feel as you read this poem...That is my main thing I look for when I read poems or when I write my own poems...I hope that you keep writing so that you could possibly publish a collection of poems...
Wow this is great...love the description of the poem...You can picture this as you read it...I love when there is alot of description...Hope to read more...Keep Writing...
I just have one thing to say about this--You are so correct on this...I live in a transitional housing unit and will be getting back on my feet to move into permanent housing, which I have not been in since November, 2004...The place I live at only helps families with children since they are the future and want to get them to be self sufficient...if you look on mine you will see a poem on there about a safe haven and a story that I have not finished too...I wish you the best of luck with writing about helping the poor...I am an advocate on homelessness since I had became homeless myself....THank you again...
Have you thought about putting your poems in a collection to be published...These are all really great...Glad to see that you are using this to help take care of the past...Keep Writing!!
Wow this one is so deep too...I hope to finish reading all your poems as I see them through here..if not I will add you to my favorites...Love your poems with the sensitivity of them...even if they are dark...that was life then...happiness now...
Wow that is great...I know what it is like to miss someone when they pass a way...I lost both of my grandmothers in two years back to back...Hope to see you writing more!!!
I think that his poem is good...was a little hard to picture in some of the stanzas...Second and third stanza did not flow as you read it...little rough around the edges...but a great start...I think that if you get the 2nd and 3rd stanza to read more smoothly...then it will be an awesome poem...Write On!!
Wow!!! The decrisption in this poem was breth taking...I mean you could see what was going on from verse to verse...How the girl was being screamed at the then the punching and the anger...How the guy was in here with the blooded out eyes...Powerful description and poem...Please keep writing...I would love to read more...
I think if you maybe take my ideas into consideration this poem would sound more clear as you read and picture it...I think that it is a good start...I am far from being perfect with my poems either...but I practice with them and journal everyday to see if I can use anything in a poem that day....Keeping On writing...
This poems get right to the point..it is hard to get your mind off a guy, especially if they have hurt you or never call...I have BPD so I go through this alot with everything everyday..I seem to journal alot lately...
I would like to see more your poems if you want someone to review them...I get into these lows and it is hard to get out of the...
I really love this poem...You can see your grandpa as he is described in the poem. The last line really makes the poem truely a "grandpas prayer" Hope to read more of your poems in the future...Write on!!
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