Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
I have chosen to erase my template for the most part. You do not need suggestions on your writing at this time, nor do you need to know what part I liked the best. I did not like what I read. It tore at my heart.
I assume, from what you wrote, that you are seeing a counselor. What makes you think they do not care. do they really roll their eyes at your pain...anyone? If so, you need to find a better counselor and different friends.
Your kids could not live a proper life if you were to kill yourself. They would always wonder what THEY did. Trust me, I know. My father chose this route and even though I was fully grown up, I stikll struggle with his death.
I am glad you found a place to vent and I hope that is all you are doing.
Again, I am here...yes, I am just 'in your computer' but behind these typed words is a real person. I think you need a good counselor. Do not take a permenant action to what can be a temporary situation.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A sad poem about the author's feeling of wanting to die. I am hoping that the author is writing out her feelings and doesn't really want to die. If so, I hope she seeks some help with the issues she speaks about in this poem.
Suggestions:
In the first line: I think you meant 'innocence'
In the second line, I would try and reword that a little. maybe a simple fix like puting 'self-doubting' would help, but I might try to put more into how you felt. (btw, I know those feelings, so I relate and I am sorry).
After the third line you have four dots. I learned here that it should only be three unless it is the end of a poem. (i) who knew, not I:) the same thing with the second verse.
In some places of the poem you are writing in the past tense and flip back to using present tense statements. an example is: oh my word I just feel lost You are talking about the past so perhaps saying I FELT so lost. Also, put a comma after the word 'word. I, myself have problems with this thing in my own writing.
Where you talk about school. I feel you there. school doesn't help sometimes. I have encountered problems with my daughters while searching for support. I think you should try and revise the first sentence about it not being fun. That statement can stand on it's own or be left out as you go on to explain how it did not help in the following lines.
The next verse: put a comma after the word 'car'. I also had a hard time understanding much of this verse. One line that totally confused me was: my way to do and come as I needed
I really hope that the end you are not stating a fact. I hope it does not mean what I think it does. If it means what i think it does (do not want to say it here), please contact me. I think you are mistaken, people DO care. You may be clinically depressed. Your kids, of course love you.
What I personally liked the Most:
I like how you ended the verses with the same line. i would use the dots or not use the dots throughout the entire poem.
I did not like what I think the poem is about- if it is what the author is actually feeling. I find it quite heartbreaking. I like that you were able to put your feelings onto paper but do hope that the end is not talking about the end.
Summary:
Please contact me or anyone in your 3D life and talk to them about your depression if this is truely how you feel. If you are just writing and do not feel alone and suicidal, then good job at portraying someone who does.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A love poem written with a true affection. It is written about the author's wife- a dedication:)
Suggestions:
I am not sure if you are looking to improve upon this piece or just have us read it and enjoy it for what it is, a beautiful tribute to the woman you love. There is a little room to improve (IMO) but I hesitate to mention them in such a personal poem such as this unless specifically asked to do so.
What I personally liked the Most:
I love how you took the time to write about you wife. How happy she must have been to read this wonderful tribute to her! She has read it, has she not? If not, you should read it to her. That would be so romantic.
Summary:
I can tell the author loves his wife through the words he writes in tribute to her:):)
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A poem written about....well about writing and dreaming and Lucy.
Suggestions:
I am not sure what to offer in way of suggestions. And looking at my template, I know that this format will not really work for this poem. normally you would get my suggestions: like spelling errors, comments regarding grammar or flow...ect. Then I would tell you what I like, ect. I would maybe point out some favorite lines, ect. I think I will just tell you what I feel. I feel confused, but not in a bad way. I think you are clever and are playing with words. It makes the reader pause and wonder what the heck is happening here. For example the expression Wide Asleep. We all know it is fast asleep and wide awake...you use the phrase 'wide asleep'. This in an odd way makes perfect sense to me, lol! Then you take us into what I think is your dreams. There is someone who stops you from writing due to her darkness?? I keep putting question marks after my statements because I am kind of asking for imput..yes, I know you can answer me as I type, but am curious:) The last lines are rather spooky and then Lucy is mentioned. You leave me wondering who Lucy is and where did she fall and why. I think....Good job:) I leave the poem and my review perplexed
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
Are you serious? The title simply states 'poem'. Inside there is one word.
Suggestions:
I suggest that you either appreciate the site and what it can offer you or perhaps you should look for another site. I might be wrong, maybe this is a serious attempt and if so, forgive me. There are people out there that have a limited vocabulary and if you were trying and this word is the only one you could think to write, then you got one star for the one word:) I seriously hope that you are hear to write and not bait the reviewers to read your 'work'. This is a site that many love. If you want to be part of it, write something more. Open up or are you afraid you will be judged and do not feel you can hack it? I will tell you that most people on here are very helpful and nice. Some might not be the best reviewers but all try. Now you try. write the next word:)
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A poem about a shattered heart. The author takes us from the time the heart was whole to the time it lie shattered on the ground.
Suggestions:
There are rough places in this piece, for me at least. This is not to say that you did not write something good. You did. I think some easy revisions could make it even better. you can take my suggestions or leave them. If they work for you, great:) If not, no harm.
I, personally, would take out the use of the bracketed words. It kind of stumps me in places.
You can word it to where it is stated either in italics or perhaps adding to the line.
an example I might use is:
You lines was: Sitting in my hand (It’s smiling)
I would just say:
sitting in my hand, smiling.
further down you say: Laughing as they quietly walk away.)/b} they could not be quiet if they were laughing. Could you think of another word? I think they were callous to laugh.
Also, you repeat a line kind of when you say:
I told them didn’t I?
That it wasn’t strong enough.
But, it truly was fragile, wasn’t it? (Although it was smiling)
It may just be the word- But- that needs to be taken away if you like the statement as is. The sentence, again just my humble opinion, with the repeat could be you questioning, out loud, after stating the fact the heart was not strong enough. In that case I would use italics or quotation marks on the 'I told you' part.
What I personally liked the Most:
I loved the story you told of this little heart. It tugged on my own. It had a definite beginning, middle, and end. It told a story of a heart breaking in a unique way I have not read before. I could feel the little heart screaming for help...
Summary:
I think you have some wonderful talent. We are ALL here to learn to be better. I hope I suggested things that helped a little.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
The author writes a beautiful Ode to our wonderous Mother earth:)
Suggestions:
I loved the poem but there were just a few things I noted when reading it. You can take my suggestions or leave them:)
In the first verse about the ground, I know what you mean by firm and soft but, I believe, these adjectives are actually almost direct opposites of each other. Perhaps there is another word would describe it better or perhaps adding what is soft and what is firm?
I would put your verses into four lines. Grouping together the two lines to the next (the ones that rhyme) would work beautiful (IMO)
What I personally liked the Most:
I loved the following lines:
Her kiss is in the songbird
As he begins to sing
Her knowledge in the wind
That whispers in my ear
I also fell in love with the verse about your heart being stolen and returned:)
Summary:
I love the positive nature of this poem. I think the words describing Mother Earth ring true as well:)
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A story that tugs at you heart. The author tells us how she feels having lost a love in a tragic way. I am not sure if this is a piece of fiction or non-fiction. I am assuming it is a tale out of the writer's imagination. It is told in a way that makes it sound very real.
Suggestions:
There are many errors in this piece. The first thing is spelling. I would copy and paste the story in an editing program like the one offered here or microsoft word and check for grammar and spelling errors. I am terrible at spelling myself and always try and do this.
There are periods and other punctuation that needs to be addressed, but I think spelling should be done first as it is very distracting. I would love to read and rate it again when you do fix the spelling.
What I personally liked the Most:
I loved the story you told. It was heart breaking. Like I said, not sure if it is a work of fiction or a true story. If it is fiction, it is a compliment that you did it so well as to make me wonder:)
Summary:
Welcome to WDC. I am not sure if you just joined or this is just the first piece you had the courage to post. Either way, I am glad you did post:)
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A poem about love. The poet compares her feelings of love with flowering bloom.
Suggestions:
I noticed in the lines:
My love for you is a Lotus alight,
Sacred and exquisite in your light.
You used two very simular words at the end of the first two lines. I know there is a difference in the two words, but it would have been nice to see a different word used for one of the words chosen. If not read carefully by some, I feel they might confuse it and think it is the same word.
I did not understand the following line. Of course, it might just be me, but I don't get it?? the line is:
Good and wonderful for your boom.
Perhaps you were trying to rhyme and I know sort of what a boom is, but it seems out of place in this otherwise beautifully written poem.
What I personally liked the Most:
Loved the lines:
My love for you is an Epic of passion,
Legendary, mystic and grand narration.
I loved the form you used. It rhymed and held rhythm and had the word LOVE in bold. I think it was well thought out and nicely mastered.
I liked the way you began and ended the poem in the same fashion.
Summary:
I enjoyed this poem a lot:) thank you for creating and congrats on the win:)
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to give you my opinion, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
I am assuming this is a true story and if so, I am so very sorry you had to feel pain. You seem to be one of our younger authors as most of us (old people) do not talk about our mom and dad in such a present tense. If I am wrong and you are not so young, forgive me.
Suggestions:
Although this story is well told (if you were to read it to me I would not notice anything) I am thrown by the spelling errors and a few other little mistakes. If you fix some of the mistakes, it will make a very well told story.
I suggest first taking it (copy and paste) to a editing program like the one here or perhaps one on your computer like microsoft word. Spell check it- and it also does standard grammer mistakes. it might not catch it all but that is what everyone here is for, to help us fix things that we over look so that we become great writers. I always try and do spell check before posting because not only am a 'typo queen' but I stink at spelling.
Once you are done editing the spelling, please message me and I will read it and rate it.
What I Iiked Most:
I like that you told your story. It is a good thing to get your feelings out and also good to share those feelings.
Summary:
I hope to hear from you after you do a little editing as I would love to
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to give you my opinion, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
This is a folder dedicated to the wife of the writer. She no longer walks in this world, but her spirit remains in these works left in her honor.
Suggestions:
I have none. I bookmarked this as I want to read more. this folder is personal and with that the reader is only left to leave what comforting or understand words they can muster up. I read a couple of this authors stories and am humbled by the strength of this man and his undying love.
What I personally liked the Most:
This template does not work as well for what I wish to say and convey, but it helps me gather my thoughts so I can at least make sense. I do not like the word 'like' in regards to your work. I do not like what inspired this folder. I do not like what I read, but am inspired by your strength and ability to share your grief, you memories, and your knowledge regarding this subject. I recommend anyone who has lost a wife or husband to journey through this man's port and look at what is possible once the grieving process is complete. Life goes on for the living and it can be a good one. You can keep the person who is gone alive and vibrant with words of dedication.
Summary:
Reading this, I feel I can not express fully what I felt in reading just a couple of the posts about your wife and life at this time.
BUT! Happy Anniversay and I hope you always continue to "Write on:)"
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to give you my opinion, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A powerful poem about the ending (I think) of something.
Suggestions:
The words were very powerful. I am just unsure of what is being destroyed. I would like to think you left it to our (the reader's) imagination, but I could not imagine something so terrible except the end of earth. I would have liked to be sure of the meaning behind those powerful, moving words.
What I personally liked the Most:
The power in these words!!!! I loved it.
Some of my favorite lines were:
The broken bricks will
crumble
tumble
Children screaming
yelling
crying
At the ruins of our foundation
Summary: I think this was a hard hitting poem. It stuck a cord with me...making me fear...something. I only wish I knew what there was to fear. Perhaps that was your intent: make the reader fear the unknown? if so, good job! You really made me think when reading your poem. thanks for the intense read:)
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to give you my opinion, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A poem about what the author fears: A love forgetting who they are.
Suggestions:
I think that the poem is a little rough in places. The flow (perhaps it is the sentence structuring) is a bit off to me. I would also go in and correct capitalization.
What I personally liked the Most:
I really think this is a good start, and with some light work, could turn out to be fantastic. You did not mention in your bio your age range. I find it helpful as a reviewer to know if I am reading something from a younger author vrs. something from someone who has a lot of life experience.
Summary: Again, if you work on this a little, I think it could be wonderful. You expressed yourself well, I just wanted a bit more.
Hello final_cut and congratulations on your recent winning entry in "Invalid Item" .
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the EBB Love Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
There were again, many favorite parts. You write so beautifully. The words make my heart ache, that is a good thing. You reach out and touch my heart and tickle my soul with your writing.
Some of my favorite lines were:
hmmm...maybe just a taste for those that read this public review
The first verse:
'Trying to forget the feel of him
Underneath my skin
The look of salvation
Smothered in sin'
Loved it and so much more!
SUGGESTIONS
Rhythm
The flow seemed a little off in spots when I read it out loud. I would never expect it to be perfect with such a long poem like this. You did a great job!
Verses
A couple of the verses seemed forced to me, like you were caught up in trying to keep the rhyme while giving up just a bit of the natural beauty. The lines were still beautiful, but I think YOu could tell better then me if you did or did not force some verse in there that could use some revising.
Overall
Like I said, you are a wonderful writer. I suggest keep on writing:)
OVERALL IMPRESSION
BRAVO AGAIN! I would suggest your writing to anyone who is looking at this right now:)
Hello final_cut and congratulations on your recent winning entry in "Invalid Item" .
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the EBB Love Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
I loved the words and the picture you painted with those words. My heart ached at the questioning of'what is love'.
Some of my Favorite lines were:
'Was it merely an evening of stardust,
Or some other wayward word that hovers out of sight
A transient faery magic disappearing all too soon
Or a mystical moment courtesy of a waning moon?'
'We are strangers once more, every ray
Of sunshine is agony, an implacable reminder of stupendous madness;'
SUGGESTIONS
Caps on every line confused me. I would suggest (I may be wrong) that each line does not need to be in caps, especially when it is a continuing thought from the last line.
Punctuation I Must say i am terrible at it myself, but I saw some things that made me pause and think "is that wrong?" I think some is. You may want to check with someone who loves and knows proper punctuation to make sure you beautiful poem is correct in that aspect.
In response to your wonderful review. You say it is the best review you have received and I say top these:)
I have a couple I think are better. I received them just recently as a matter-of-fact:P Maybe I should rate your post lower then the five stars because mine are better- there for you don't deserve the 5 stars, I do:P Here they are:
Hi there, perhaps it is such a casual writing that I feel like the persona is talking right into my heart. The whole poem is rhythmically correct and it does brings out its message to its reader straight to the point. The words and terms used in the poem is quite touching to a certain extent. The poem is well-flown in rhythm with some hidden feelings. Good try!
(at the end it has a winky face). now.,...4 star rating, not bad, but not staying with the tune of 'nice try' and 'certain extent'. I would have loved for him to told me what extent I should have went to and nice try at what? heehee.
my all time fave though is a 3.5 star (a little above average..correct?) okay, i can take being considered average with the best of them, but then why the kind words?
love it, evocative of dark dreams and sweet nightmares. I was reminded of a song about a secret lover who lived in a record player and a mad girl. I like the idea of a poem being intertwined with prose and it works so well.
It is one of the professionally sounding pieces i have read here and i particularly like the appearance of the male at the end. i don't like the way he manipulates her but that is because i don't like manipulation of females in reality by men.
now what praise! I personally do not think it is the best, but she did. one of the most professional sounding pieces, blah blah. when I asked her why the rating did not reflect the review, she told me she was saving her stars. She had just gotten back to reviewing and she wasn't sure why she gave me that many. ((((???)))) LMBO!
This is why I dislike stars a bit. everyone, of course, wants a perfect 'score,' but the reviews are what i want the most. I want to know how my piece made you feel, how well it was written, and what you think I could do to improve upon it.
I wasn't going to make this a public review, but heck, why not. And no, it is not the best review I have ever written, but I think I told you how I felt, rated it accordingly...oops..I gave you five stars when i said it was me that should get them, lol. Well, you get five stars because you made it possible to post these silly reviews publically again in case we can all learn from them and made me giggle as well.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A poll that asks us if we review Moderators. I have never reviewed a poll before- I do not think so anyways?
Suggestions:
I do not know what to suggest as far as your poll goes. I wish they gave an option to write comments on the poll, adding a public view of any comments added. Like, I do review moderators, but there is an element of fear sometimes. I fear being totally honest with my feelings for hurting theirs (this is with anyone). I fear more with the moderators i 'know' and whom I respect. I am honest however.
What I personally liked the Most:
I liked this poll. I still would like to see comments. You have no power over that though;)
Summary:
I was shocked at the poll results. I almost replied that I had toast for breakfast but didn't. it was a cute reply but It would have been a lie. I havent even eaten yet today:P
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
It was a very sad to lose two very popular celebrities in one day. This author writes about the untimely deaths of Farrah and Micheal.
Suggestions:
There were some things I noticed that I thought either could be worked on or made me pause:
In talking about Farrah, the sentence that included and something about a swimsuit poster. I found this sentence might be better read if you separated the entire thing into two sentences or changed that line. It was just a tad confusing.
The entertainment world had lost an icon and there was never going to be another Farrah again. I may be wrong but should it say 'there will never be another farrah'?
okay..so after this point, I just felt your sorrow and love of Micheal and did not feel like doing 'reviewing' and choose to just read instead:P
What I personally liked the Most:
You can feel your heartbreak over this entertainer's death. he seemed to play an important role in your childhood and life... yes I believe that musicians can do that. My father cried when Elvis died even though he didnt know him, he represented something for him-to him.
Summary:
We will continue to hear more about Micheal's death and Life. I hope soon it will be focused more on what an icon he was and not so much on his death and who caused it....I am sure you are hearing it too. *shakes head*
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A magical poem about living among rainbows:)
Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is that I wanted more! I loved the vibe I was starting to feel with the magical words and then they stopped. I realize it might be hard to add to a poem...as I have been asked the same thing of me and could not always provide. I just liked it that much and felt it was a little short (for me).
What I personally liked the Most:
I liked the entire poem. My favorite part were the lines: When twilight filled skies
Air became demystified
Into crystallic paths
Summary:
Again, a lovely poem that I wish were a bit longer. You drew me in and I used child's eyes and wanted more, more, more:)
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the EBB Love Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Congrats on the win. I stumbled upon this piece and the title intrigued me.
MY Suggestions:
have none! beautifully stated!
My fave parts!
in regards to the first verse: I am in total agreement. It is a battle for freedom. the freedom for accceptance is the hardest won. There are battles raging now in this country that boast of freedom to all. I do not feel we have won all the fights.
in regards to the third verse I am not gay but have a lot of gay friends. My children have been brought up around all types of people. My oldest attends Gay pride every year she can with her friends. They sometimes have to remind her that she is almost too over zealous for the cause and she is not even gay. She attends their meetings and support groups. I think it is her love for her friends that makes her so passionate. I know that it is also the prejudice that hurts ALL of us the most. Not only again the gay community but against anyone who is different from the 'norm'.
in regards to the forth verse I am sick of hearing people say this is a phase or sickness. that it is a sin against God. well, IMO, God does not make mistakes and I believe people are born gay. It is not a sickness, nor a choice. It is....
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I applaud you for standing up! It is hard to do. *applauds*
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the EBB Love Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Review of {bitem:1528459 }
MY FAVORITE PART
I love the poem to God. We have all been there. I hope you know he/she (whatever your belief system is) is there for you.
SUGGESTIONS
This is so very personal, I do not feel I can suggest anything much. I could feel you call but it didn't render my motionless, but then again, I am saying my own prayers right now. I might be getting mine confused with yours.
Just me, but I would use some capitalization?
Keep praying! I truly believe those words we put out their in our universe are heard.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Again, personal and heartfelt. I wish you much joy!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A short story about love and betrayal and death.
Suggestions:
I have a few:
In the first paragraph, the man had a gun. he looked into the barrel. you might want to add the gun part. It may only be me but some people may not know what a barrel is. Perhaps describe the cold feel of the metal (or whatever the gun is made of:P) in his hand....
Also taking out two bullets...you might want to expand that sentence to include him putting them in one by one. draw the reader in by making this part of the story longer and more detailed.
do not use x in place of ex.
Check caps! Some sentences are not.
The end was a little ....um...to little. it didnt explain enough. it almost seemed like he just caught his brother and his girlfriend.
What I personally liked the Most:
I like the idea of the story and think if you really get into the shooter's mind in the beginning. what did he feel? why was he feeling it? how did the gun feel in his hand?
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A short poem about insanity. "I am afraid of those Chanters!"
Suggestions:
Your image is not showing anymore. Just thought you should know.
What I personally liked the Most:
This is a short poem that says so much. It brings out something in me, a kinship? a fear? not sure, but it gave me shivers.
My favorite part is the ending. it is almost comical, but..not.
Summary:
*shivers* You are a talented artist. I am again humbled by your words and ability to convey such profound and deep to the reader. I enjoyed my short ride through your port. i think i shall return *bookmarks*
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A long Haiku based on living high on the mountain. This is extremely well done. While one might find it easy to write on verse of a haiku (it really is not), this is 6 verses using the haiku rules.
Suggestions:
Well, being that I rated it perfect, I have no suggestions. The piece was spelled correctly and I enjoyed it.
What I personally liked the Most:
I loved the imagery in this poem. I could picture the place. you spoke of, in my mind.
The following were my favorite lines:
I will just say that the third, fifth and sixth verses were wonderfully written!
Summary:
I really like haiku. I really, really like when it is done so well. I loved the fact that you made it more then a couple verses. It showed real talent:)
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.30 seconds at 9:02am on Jul 13, 2025 via server WEBX1.