The author, very thoughfully, brings out his/her thoughts regarding how a Modern Age Zombie is.
The fact that the Zombie is now educated, uses the language of communication, thinks about appetite, and has a posture and poise all by himself, appears to be interesting to the reader.
The world is full of Zombies, and to the extent that the author thinks of them extremely, about them creating a political party officially. Thats funny
Just a little editing in the below sentence needs your immediate attention:
he must reduces reduce his foot print on the earth.
Just as the lady maintains a perfect lifestyle as far as her health and fitness is concerned, she has really lived upto the mark with her mental fitness as well. She learns to balance everything, yet keeping a sparkling smile of her face and spreading the same to others.
The author has tried to put forth a lesson for all women (young and aging) how to deal with uncontrollable circumstances keeping a stable mind. A happy mind will always keep the body happy.
A nice read. However, when you said its a Sunday Morning Routine, the actions are limited.
The writer is seen expressing his views about current affairs.
But a good read overall.
I would like to bring to your notice the following sentence which needs your immediate attention for editing.
Cold deductive reasoning seemed to be a rarity in the my current environments, - "the" is not required here..
This is a good monologue, with the author trying convey stage actions and transitions in the bracketed sentences.
However, there are many typo errors and splee mistakes. I ma listing them down for your quick reference and correction:
acciedent - should be spelt as accident
Or did I?I don't remember anything. - There should be space between "?" and "I don't remember anything"
Please help me here!I need someone by my side!All I see is my own foot prints in this sand.Why aren't you here for me. proper space needed between the exclamation mark and "All". After Full stop, pls add a space to start a new sentence
aganst - should be spelt as "against"
Person looks to the ground, notices a peice of paper in their his/hershoe
Pauses and puts the paper in their his/her pocket and walks across the stage slightly.
A young little girl escapes the mummy's eye and enjoys the cookies made by her mom.
Through this 55 word story the writer has beautifully described the kitchen odour, the preparations, a mother lovingly making cookies.
The best part is the sentence is just one complete one, and with great flow. No where it looks tampered, the sequence of actions are well addressed.
haha this is really a good one for a 55 word contest. I mean its so difficult to write an entire story in just the minimal words but here you have done a great job describing the outdoors, with the props. The tent, the sleeping bag,, the ice-chest. All these give a clear picture of where the tent is, the reader can almost picturise the whole episode...
Very good one
A very cute story told from a mother's heart longing to hear the first babble of her toddler.
The surprise element comes when it is not expected, having coaxed the toddler to look at her, but in vain.
The joy of the mother knows no bound as the first word uttered is Mama. and it is shown expressively as she now cant wait to tell her husband.
Very cute
Series of events happen since Shannon gets up from bed. Why does James kill Jace is still not known, but it looks that the author has portrayed James as a maniac. Killing everyone around Shannon to keep only her for himself is the only aim of James.
This is getting interesting...
The suspense is still lingering in the story...
Magnificient use of adjectives adds to the excitement. As Bill is found to be in the custody of James, the reader is compelled to ponder who would be James?
Supposed to be an ex to Shannon, the act of almost killing Bill is to get hansom amount of money.
The suspense is till on.. And the reader is all glued to it.
The story flows well uptil now.. Again, the day and time adds elements of surprise..
Being a suspense story, the beginning is eye catching. The reader is given an ease with the day and time demarcating the various events occuring simultaneously.
There is sure an element of suspense everywhere in this story from top to bottom, where a wife is worried for her husband's absence since the previous night.
I liked reading it Cant wait to hop over to the next chapter...
A man in her late 30's is seen communicating with a placement agent.
The character of Charles is shown as "vivering" but actually he likes to experiment and experience each and everything coming his way, that too with a condition that he would quit whatever he is doing when he could not get amused by it. He is dynamic in thinking and being. Very crisp in putting forth his views.His character is strong in his own ways and thinking.
The communications have been shown nicely.
Disheartened and confused by what others say, and what the external voices say, the poet stresses on the fact the one should have conviction in themselves and the one they love. If the person is worth waiting, wait. Let them take time, give them their sweet time to come up, show up to you.
The real life situations have been exposed here where poeple try to push the one on the other side to just give up and move on. But its the heart that should be followed and not the mind, in dealing with the matters of heart.
Good one !!
wow this is amazing. The poet has pointed out every minute aspect that we think about but never question it to be otherwise. Not only that, the poet has already given answers to them in the next line with each question coming up.. The most funniest was the last two couplets where the wife thing comes up.. because no war is bigger than dealing with a wife. being a wife myself, I feel this funny , because I hear this everywhere... lol...
The poet moans over a broken marriage which is purely based on selfish behaviour from the better-half.
It hurts the poet to leave the marrige half way , but she has found solace in writing.. a solace which was rare when she was an undemanding and an understanding wife.
The entire curx of the poem comes from
"I ask little of you, I wait, balancing trays,
you consume books, claim we both can win.
I watched proudly as you receive a degree.
My turn now, your excuses make my head spin." Imagine the pain of ignorance..
The sentiments hold the reader glued uptil the end... very nice rhyme...
Awwww.. this is soo cute. There is a strong feeling of love spreading from one lover to the other. With each word there is a truest of promise to be knitted together with the threads of love , trust, affection and respect.
The poet feels proud and happy of being in love and experiencing heaven on earth inspite of so much sufferings around.
This is a superb piece of write-up I must say
You have made your mark in your own way
Photons are the source of energy to all of us
Thats how you explained a story without any fuss.
Things are better explained in a form of story
Thats what adds the poetry , its glory
The rhyme, rhythm and the flow was perfect
I dont think anything else a reader would suspect.
Its a nice read for today as I came across this
Keep writing is my only suggestion , please.
The poet describes the ill-effects of cementing the green jungles, which causes global warming and pollution everywhere.
The seasons have changes their characteristics all over the world, unexpected rain, storms and high temperature being some of their effects.
Wild life is at utmost danger, yet men don't think to ponder on these critical issues.
The proportion of 4:1 (sea:land) is at danger with the glaciers melting at both the poles with rapid speed.
This haiku brings to light all these, with a flair of concern for all living species on the mother earth.
Hey this is awesome. I mean in just this simple and innovative way you have already taught the reader how to write a haiku.
It is real addicting to read them and once attempted, haikus are extremely addictive to stop...
Each line is denoted and stressed by the word "here" and this is simply beautiful.
The poet travels to a dreamland, draped in whites. Mist adds the sequence of a dream occuring.
While being alone in the foreign land is denoted here, the poet feels the being there is like living a different life. Like an other life lived simultaneously as the real world.
The title suits well and the the fantasy strokes add their own colours to this little poem
Very nice read... feels like a fairyland visit for the poet.
The poet brings to light the effects of technological developments that replaces the outdoor game with an indoor clone.
The outdoor lawn tennis now talks in the form of this poem to let everyone know how lonely he feels after younger generations around the world now opt for the Wii.
Through this Haiku, the poet is trying to convery that a simple smile can set majority of things right. It can ease a troubled mind, it can be taken as a sign of acceptance and approval, it can be assuring and giving a sense of warmth.
A smile can indirectly bring lot of peace within and outside us.
As a 7th grade student, the waterfall makes the students happy. Hence the poet concludes that after seeing the waterfall there were only glad thoughts coming into his/her mind. The words are simple yet effective. The personofication is good when the poet says " beautiful water"... perfect imagination
This was a funny read. Sometimes I see those kittens try to do something out of their reach just for the fun of it, or they are over adventurous.
They run , jump, plunk, eat, sleep.. but sometimes they think they are the king of their habitat. Just like a lion is.
This poem reminded me of one of those events where I use to see them through the window of my maternal home and wonder how brave they are.
But infact they used to be so timid
The union of the golden sunrays with white snow triangles is like seeing heaven.
Through this Haiku the poet describes this divine beauty with ease and grace. Every word makes the reader actually picturise the snow clad mountain with icicles experiencing a hug from the warm sunrays.
This is simply beautiful
Through this crisp poem the poet has emoted his feelings about what life is.
The chronology of the preferences is kept subjective though. However they are nicely prioritised.
The ACROSTIC form whit one word for each line adds flair to the entire thing. I am glad I bumped into something new I liked reading this one
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Thats funny 