A very touchy letter from one sister to another, full of pain of loss of a lovable sister.
A childhood memory is revived and the Emily is fondly and deeply remembered. The characters (both sisters) show strength in terms of inner beauty and a strong will power.
Every word is sipped in an ink of wanting Emily to come back and relive those cherishable moments together once again.
A very beautiful piece of read.
Words flow from the heart
Touches the reader enormously.
Straight from your heart. The fact that you were already sleepy and that you admit that now its time to hit the bed, is so frank.
There is an urge to read more but there is nothing that can beat the power of the nature. Sleep dominates your eyes and so you wish a good night to all.
I liked reading this mostly because it was well written from heart, the words are pure and truest to their forms.
Hey Jaya A long time I have read something of your's.
This one is beautiful as India is enjoying its annual monsoon and this time it is more splendid than last year. The breeze, the showers, the thunders, the lightnings, the green clad mountains, the freshly washed roads, those children playing in the pool of water with small handmade boats of paper.
Each and everything of this season is so attractive.
Here in Mumbai you know how difficult it is, yet we love it when God directs his showers to give us a bath untimely.
I love this poem of yours simply because it is describing my favorite season " Monsoon".
A family tries to find out the reason behind their father's death.
A very dramatic dialogue placement with proper pitches and excalmations, adds the shade of reality.
It seems the spirit of the man dead is called through and the mysterious answer to his death.
Longing to be with his family, his children - a father thinks of "father's day" , sitting inside a prison.
The day is passing as any other day but is labelled as a Celebration for fathers all around the world.
Consoles himself by thinking of the happy moments of the past and colours his blank canvas with some old colours.
This is awesome. It has a dramatic flair. All characters here are strong in their own way. Paul, Barbara and Jim. Three generations meet at a bench. The baby Paul meets his father Paul and Paul meets his father Jim after having not known each other.
This is film like but it is real life episode. And the author himself being the three year old toddler describing this gives it an emotional touch,
I am all choked. I have no words to express what I am feeling right now after reading this.
I mean , the author has gone through hell. Hell is not a right word. If there was a superlative to Hell I would describe that too.
But, a decision had to be taken for the little girl Cindy to see life as a rainbow and not its darker side.
Writing emerges from such past, and I feel each word is drenched in blood, pain, tears and angony.
I was left misty eyed.
hahahahah Lol.. this is a laughter riot. The whole thing has chuckled all my bones. The use of words Dam and Damn are so synchronous that it really means the same , as when meant.
The letter becomes funniest towards the end, when the reader realises that the writer has states such history of the Dam Town. And he ends up in the jail for saying " Dam (Damn) Judge",.. that was funniest.
A divine love glows like a candle in the two hearts.
Its radiance spreads all across them creating a halo of softness.
There is not a single lusty feeling, all it talks is about to love and being loved. Evident from the fact that even a toad could understand the subtle touch. very good.
The gentle atmosphere is creating a perfect time, with moon stars , lights, breeze.
this is a very cute poem. I liked reading it. Its like a dream sequence...
If you give love, you will receive it. Thats the crux here.
A rose is earthbound and cannot reach the sky and its heights. But a bee flying high comes down to it, and pollinates the rose. Another life is in the making. To give and to share is the best way we can show we care
This is a simple but a sweet poem motivating readers about the basic values that God has inculcated right from our birth. However, living on this materialistic earth, we tend to forget these and live life on our own terms. Which should not be the case. We all should learn from the bee to be selflessly helpful.
A sense of feeling is subconsciously running at the back of the mind.
A confidence that Yes I am going to breathe the next moment.
Perpetual and unlike the self generated feeling of confidence, this one has a strong foundation of faith about the existence of a super natural power, and His best gifted feeling called Love.
A heart is hurt with the pain LOVE brings with it.
There is a real ZERO STATE of mind that makes the poet throw a ball of questions seeking answers to all Hows, Whys, Whats etc.
The thought behind comparing the Costly affair LOVE and Cheap RAZORS is adding to the Dark genre that the cobweb of thoughts that have surrounded the poet.
beliefs lost, reliefs lost - there is nothing more than a hope for his survival.
The sentiments fit well to the title.
This poem would look more nicer if structured in the format of stanzas. However, it is solely the author's wish.
WHole of the poem written in First person adds to the punch.
ho ho ho ... this was too much fun mixed with a tinge of fear of the wild bear.
I almost bursted out laughing when I came across the line
" Grand pop grabbed us just in time, as that bear drove past, waving his paws and yelping for help, right into the lake!".. this would have been fun for the granfather and the children. I can just imagine this...
Yes, grandparents are one of the best people on this earth
A heart is hurt and thus the author's thinking, life etc has deviated from the default being that he was. Now he believes that the girl who loves him in the present, is only capable of changing him i.e. to bring him back to the cheerful days , he was once in. And he is confident that only she can do that and only she will get the rights to do that...and if she doesn't then who will?? This last stanza really caught my eye...
Ideal comparision of Ocean with a loved one gone away. The vastness of ocean tells us that the loved one had a big heart. The silent waves of the ocean says that he love of author's life was always harmonious. All in all, the beauty of ocean in all respect is compared to the lost love. But, when the waves are cold, the ocean reminds the author that the body of his loved one is also lying cold in the grave... This is really touching.
A couple of place needs editing
1. The Ocean feels as worm warm
2. The Ocean carry's carries my salty tears
This poem comes from the heart of the author who is suffering the break-up of his parent's relationship.
And its natural. In such situation, the child suffers the most. There is so much anguish in the tone of this poem that the author wants to break free and find a moment of peace. The last stanza strikes the most as the author asks for support from the reader, who is not aware of the depth of his pain.
This is a wonderful piece of poem.
Something positive has prompted the birth of this motivational poem.
The state of mind is well compared to the train's behaviour.
And your Handle says it all. "I.M.Strong".. yes you are.
This is a nice poem different from others.
There are a few places in this poem where I would like you to have a re-look.
1. The train never haves to stop --- It needs editing. The train never has to stop
2. Today I became that train and started travelling down the track -- Today is present tense and became is past. It can be written as Today, I have become that train and have started travelling down the track
3. Will and Must dont go well together. either you can re-write as
(a) I will not look back, I will move forward
(b) I must not look back, I must move forward
These are only my suggestions as a reader and not a critic. Accept the ones that are helpful to you and discard the rest.
Well, Mohit, You have a wide head upon your shoulders. And your writing proves just. Being a newbie and posting this deep insighted article is a matured move.
I like the way you have described the virtues of living life. Just that it needs some support in form of a deeper explanation. Supplementing this whole idea with a few examples will be like adding Honey to Milk Isn't it?
Just re-look at this sentence " Both are in the same ocean of life" - Do you think you need some editing here??
These suggestions come to you from me as a reader and not a critic. You can accept the ones useful to you and discard the rest with a smile
It was nice reading this article. Would love to read more from your end.
I can very well relate to this one as I wrote something in the similar tone.
A memory is lived all over again while the author takes a stroll on the beach, remembering the beautiful past with a loved one right at the beach.
There is somewhat "low feeling" all over the place as the repetition of the line " I stroll alone", consumes most of the poem. The wait is getting longer for the author to be patient anymore.
But there is a hope to walk together and marking the sand with a couple's foot prints !!
A poem written right from the heart has left me impressed.
Every son/daughter remember their fathers the most when they themselves become parents. Every father on this earth is an example of God. A God who stays with us all our life, teaches us the best ways to lead a happy and sane life. Fathers are those special angels sent by God, to shower their shimmering blessings on us even after they are gone.
This emotional tribute left me misty eyed. Every child on this earth should read this poem.
There is a pain, a confusion in the writer's heart and mind. He/she loves her/him but he/she is unsure of her/his love.
Unsure of what the potential lover's mind, the writer is boggled down by his own confusion. At the same time he does not want to lose the love of his life. He is so much in love that he wants to wait for a lifetime for her to revert the love he expects.
I liked the line "But you have my heart on your sleeve" - very imaginative...
The rhyme and Rhythm is good, only some structuring is required according to the rhyme. This is only my suggestion.
The power behind the eyes to make it see is Almighty. The power behind the ear to make it listen is Almighty. The power behind the nose to let it smell is Almighty. The power behind the taste-buds to let it know the taste of the food is Almighty. The power beneath the skin to feel the touch is Almighty. Though till date no one has seen God, he does exists. And he exists within us. At the time of the Big Explosion, God was one. He thought lets be many. But how would he manage to be many from one? With the help of Maya or Illusion.
Think about this one : A seed is sown. Proper fertilizers, sunlight and water is provided. And a plant grows. Now how did the plant grow? Because of all these? Or because the Almight wished for it to grow? We breathe today, who knows we will breathe tomorrow? The Almighty knows.
By writing all the above I am not proving my point, but just letting you know my thoughts.
This essay is a very useful read. Everyone must read this to udnerstand the atom and molecule of life and things that are happening. Science and Nature are a part of God itself. The smiles, that we see on people's faces when they realise their dreams, is a scientific measure that God exists.
God is Super Power and its difficult to measure his specifications about existence. But I am sure that with the advancing technology, one day we may measure GOD.
I really liked reading this specially because I am inclined to such articles naturally.
Any comment here in this review is not meant to hurt the author's sentiments. It takes a lot to write such article in detail. And I respect the author's opinion as well. Apologies in advance for any absurd hurt.
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A long time I have read something of your's. 