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Public Reviews
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Review of The Giant Skye!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Structurally good. The storyalso does a good job of keeping to the style and flavor of the source material. The part where the pups not necessary to the rescue chatted seemed a little stiff. You also left out the obligatory part where marshal clumsily enters the elevator usually crashing into people or something. It is a pretty good example of fan fiction
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In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Intriguing little story. Is this the beginning of something? It could be. I like the characters and the dialog. It is quite a bit short. I would love to read more. Maybe something more about the party, seeing her as the party guests dwindle away. It would be interesting to glimpse some of the other guests too.
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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ouch! That is quite the passive-aggressive poem. As one of the poor kids that got donated toys I have to say that at least a little attempt on their part meant a lot to me never mind that they could have done so much more.

The thing of it is to criticize this behavior only during the holiday season misses entirely the fact that suffering exists all year long. People go hungry, birthdays happen with no presents or cake. Grandpa sits in the home, alone with no one that actually cares for him caring for him.

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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found this a highly inspirational poem! It is patriotic as well. It is nice to see that something beautiful like this could come out of something as horrible as nine-eleven. I remember where I was the day that it happened. I was working with my mom on refinishing some kitchen cabinets. We didn't know anything was going on until we took a break for lunch and went to the local convenience store. Everyone was talking about it over their coffees and doughnuts. They didn't go into details they were all just it's horrible. How could something like this happen here? We asked what had happened and we were just striken.

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Review of Imagination  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a sweet poem of young love. I like that the lovers didn't prematurely give in to their carnal natures. It says a lot of them that they are willing to let their love grow and blossom in the right time and way. This poem hardly seems to apply to a lot of young lovers these days. Not enough of them have this kind of emotional maturity.


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Review of Delta  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a pretty poem. It flows like the water it describes. It also describes the natural flow of relationships between people. The water cycle seems to be a good metaphor for the idea of reincarnation. Going from the clouds (heaven) to the earth, following a life path along side of others, coming to the end of life and possibly returning to heaven to begin it all a gain. Really a beautiful picture painted in words.

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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I liked the My word contest. This is one of many good things that has come from it. It is longer than any of my poems ever manage to be. I like the story of it and the message. The gorgeous path laid out for the poet which never really fit them. I feel like that sometimes too. Like I had a perfect path to follow and I just didn't.

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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like the near non sequitur of the title. It appears to have nothing to do with the poem but reading the poem through that window is cute and funny. I can see my grandfather sitting back to relax and realizing he can't quite relax because he's forgotten...something?
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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I would go with prose-poetry. The descriptions are vivid and remind me of a poem I wrote recently. They hit me on a gut instinctual level where fear is deciding if it is safe enough to crawl out. That is my fancy way of saying mondo creepy vibes dude! I like this and would love to see it go further. It is definitely more a scene than a story.

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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh what a lovely poem about a second chance at love. They mated before out of youthful folly just doing it because it was done but in the end they came together in a love much deeper and more fulfilling than youth could really understand. Wisdom and age trump time in this poem and love wins over all.

Congratulations on your WdC Anniversary.
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Review of L'aura del Campo  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like this poem it takes you there I can smell the gunpowder from the front and feel myself hanging on every scrap of a word from home. He had a long time to remember what happened then. Retiring to a family life did not retire that memory. Once experienced it is with a veteran forever.
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Review of Caverns  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem delivers on rhyme and rhythm for me. The ebb and flow of the poem really flows well with the theme and meaning of the words. It is about choices. The choices made in the past and the choices ahead. Their consequences and follow through compared to stones skipped on a lake. I can see it as a warning on the environment, or on maintaining a relationship. The poem is a slippery mirror you can see many things through depending on how you turn its words around in your head. I searched for a poem about nature and I can see mankind's choices when it comes to our interactions with nature as having dark consequences for our future.

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Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland] Open in new Window. (E)
Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple..
#2267246 by GERVIC Author IconMail Icon
ultimate trinket adventure.
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Review of Discovery  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the message. There is a bit of rhythm and rhyme to it in places but that stylistically falls apart in the end for me. Maybe I read it wrong. It would have been more satisfying if the rhyme pattern at least had been completed or consistent. It built up to something but the last two lines just fell apart for me. I can feel what is being said but I think it could have been much clearer. It wasn't like that meaning was being sacrificed to fit the form of the poem. At least not what I could understand of it. Perhaps a link to the form would help, or a description in a dropnote? I really can't complain a lot of my poems fall apart in the second half when I run out of poetic steam.

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Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland] Open in new Window. (E)
Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple..
#2267246 by GERVIC Author IconMail Icon
ultimate trinket adventure.
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Review of Earthship  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this piece. This is awesome. I have wanted an earthship for years! This is a well-laid-out description that lays out the advantages and systems in an earthship. I want a garden in my house!!! I also want a mini earthship chicken coop and goat barn. I want to be totally self sufficient and I want modern tech. The earthship is one of the few types of homes that allow for both.

I watch Building off the grid and the first episode of that show shows the building of an earthship in Montana. I want to build a small community of them for my family. We would help each other like we always do and life would be awesome. I want an electric car and I want my earthship's power system sized for supporting one. I want to live close enough to a city to grocery shop once or twice a month but far enough to be far enough. Thank you for adding to my off the grid fantasies with this piece.

for
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Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland] Open in new Window. (E)
Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple..
#2267246 by GERVIC Author IconMail Icon
ultimate trinket adventure.
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In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your job sounds so exciting and enjoyable most of the time. I am glad it makes it possible to see friends and family which you wouldn't otherwise be able to see. I doubt I will ever end up in that neck of the woods but if I do I might try some of those restaurants. Thanks for the recomendations.
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Review of Trading Places  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Awe so cute! How does a skinny dirty white rabbit manage to afford an electric bike? They are like a thousand dollars. If it is from reparations for the bunny massacre that hardly seems fair. We did much worse to native Americans and all they got were some casinos.
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Review of In the Zone  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Totally fun very informative and cool present for him. I love the wordsearches on this site. This one is one of the better ones.
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In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a good entry for showing the difference between post-covid life and the before time. It points out the losses. The personal interactions, the fun of being in new places with people you know and care about. In the post-covid era you begin to miss even the annoying coworkers you thought you could go the rest of your life without seeing.
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Review of DONUT  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The authors note is longer an more complicated than the poem. I would suggest placing all of that juicy information into a drop note that way it doesn't clutter up the artwork. The way it is is like buying a beautifully framed poster and leaving the sales label sticker across the bottom left corner.
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Review of Linguistic Stew  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for referencing the Poetry type. I wonder if this was written for a challenge or contest, Most of the time when I specifically follow forms like this I am writing from a prompt which includes the requirement of a specific form. I like those contests and if this were for one of them I would consider entering it. That said it would help if you referenced the prompt and contest or challenge. If you are worried about cluttering up the poem you could always turn your author's note into a dropnote. They clean things up considerably. If you do reference a contest or challenge make sure you don't just link it but type the name of it also so that if it gets deleted people including yourself would know what it was for.

Now to the meat of the poem. I love the way you effectively compare writing and cooking. THe descriptive words you use made my mouth water and my fingers itch to write this review. I especially liked noun fricassee. That just sounds so cool to me. Fricassee is a fun word and it contributes to the meaning in being a fun word.

Written for
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Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland] Open in new Window. (E)
Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple..
#2267246 by GERVIC Author IconMail Icon
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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Okay, I do this too so don't think of it as a bad criticism. You should have typed out the name of the conest or challenge that this was written for because as in your case sometimes they are closed and the item deleted so the reference to their origin is gone forever. Including the precise prompt used would have also answered my question as to why this was written. If you are afraid these suggestions would clutter the piece up you can always put that information in a drop note labeled prompt, info, or notes.

Okay next thing I noticed the whole thing is written about the native tribes of Minnesota. You go into how and why the two tribes came to be there The Dakota Sioux tribe and the Ojibwe tribe, also called Chippewa, okay got that. But where in that do you mention The Cherokee as having to do with Minnesota.
If that is another of the names of one of the tribes you should discuss that before leaping in with the stomp dance information. I just found that confusing. Also it would have been nice to know what the ultimate fates of these tribes was. White people don't have a history of treating them well...

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Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland] Open in new Window. (E)
Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple..
#2267246 by GERVIC Author IconMail Icon
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Review of Silverfish  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very factual actual poem, It doesn't dip into metaphor or any of the other fantastical elements of fiction or poetry it just reports like a google result the existence of a bug crawling in front of them. I would take this little threat to my books a lot less seriously and discuss the many literary tomes that had passed through its gut and the guts of its ancestors.

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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is a despairing beginning but the poem ends on a triumphant note. THe poet discovered themself anew and realized that the other they begin the poem mourning was really a poison to their individuality and to their creativity. It is a self awakening into being better off free.

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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A lot of people miss the simplicity of their childhood where even time spent in poverty can seem like a wonderful magical life full of possibilities until a certain age. That age comes at different ages for different people. It is the age when people begin to see the realities of the world they live in. That reality begins to wear, then dig then tear and cut into the soul of a person with every friend lost, every last goodbye, every lie brought forth to the truth. I am not quite to the point of the poet yet. But I am a realist and I see it on the horizon.

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Review of Graveyard Cough  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a sad family legacy. I am glad the subject of the poem managed to break away from it. It reminds me of the generations of men women and children that were tied to mining, and other deadly occupations because they had no choice. This poem may be about a miner's legacy but I feel the other legacies of the working poor held in near slavery by the wealthy men that didn't pay them a living wage. It also cries the legacies of those that were literal slaves because of other greedy men. People should remember that you go far enough back down the roots of anyone's family tree there are ancestors who were treated badly, like property. Black, White, Yellow, Red, Purple any color you want to pick Mankind has rarely been kind to each other.

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