\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rinsoxy/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14
Review Requests: ON
2,009 Public Reviews Given
2,010 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 10 11 12 13 -14- 15 16 17 18 19 ... Next
326
326
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a lovely lyrical poem. Very much more positive and uplifting than the poem I read prior to this one. That one delved into death and decay where this one was bright and freeing. It breathed a fresh new scent of life into my mind and was really soothing after the last poem I read. It really reminds me that two poets can write about the same topic and yet come up with two products that are totally different. This is a nice sweet relaxing poem about spring and I really liked it for what it is. Refreshing, the personification of spring isn't particularly unique but it isn't done with a heavy dragging hand and I really think it helps.

Poetry Review Garden Sig3
327
327
Review of Mycelium  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I will try starting this review over. Damn back button. This poem really sticks to the same metaphor (simile?) throughout. The idea of a mushroom dominates. The idea of an idea being the spore of a thought and that such a spore helps to decompose the mind it infects is an interesting one. Mushrooms don't just decompose they grow and leave a different type of life and structure where perhaps little useful growth existed before. This isn't quite as disturbing as the idea that the spores spread and get everyone thinking the same things. Words, propaganda, all tied up in a small innocent poem.

Poetry Review Garden Sig3
328
328
Review of Common Chords  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This poem made me sad. How badly was the horse injured? Was it the end of its career? Its life? A broken leg could be both if it is bad enough. The way this scenario was presented is cold and impersonal it seems detached. At the same time it clings to a kind of rhythmic drama that stumbles and breaks as the horse and rider are injured. I really feel for them both they had high hopes that couldn't have been more violently dashed. It really is a sad poem with a coldly impersonal tone to it. It acts like it doesn't feel but it makes me feel a lot.

Poetry Review Garden Sig3
329
329
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I got confused between the mention of spring in the tropics being all year long with flowers always in bloom and then the listing and description of flowers that I don't think of as being very tropical. It seems just a bit disjointed in this. Maybe the prompts blended together for this poem weren't quite as compatible as they could have been. I really wanted this poem to work for me. It isn't noticeably structurally flawed in my eyes. It looks like a sonnet to me I just... The subject doesn't mesh for me.

Poetry Review Garden Sig3
330
330
for entry "Invalid Entry" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a slightly surreal almost nonsensical poem that makes deep sense, resonating with the child in me. I loved the rain but hated being cold and wet in it. I used to make tents out of scraps of garbage bags just so I could stay out and play in the mud longer without getting cold. Childhood makes things like that less an inconvenience and more of an adventure. I know now I just get cranky when I have to splash through a puddle or get mud on my hands. What went wrong with my life? How did my priorities get so totally ass backward?
331
331
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
this is a beautiful poem I wish I wrote. I definitely remember feeling this way when I was younger. The person I imagined was nothing like the one I ultimately found but it really is hard to say what the heart wants when you are that young. I really love the wording and the repetition of you take my breath away.

New Anniversary Review image.
332
332
Review of How Could You?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
At least you didn't going into a rant about how death was about to part something. Lorana Bobbit? That is who I think of when I think infidelity. She is my hero. Yet she's a criminal. At one point adultery was a crime, that could be punished with the force of law. Men got off of murder charges because of it. Sorry I don't think someone reacting to that kind of betrayal should have to be treated as though they are completely sane. This poem descends into this kind of insanity.


New Anniversary Review image.
333
333
Review of Psycho Fable  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
That is a seriously intimidating look. I wouldn't want to be that cat. That look says if you are a cat I will chase you, and catch you, and make you wish you were a dog. But she doesn't look like she would hurt it badly. Just enthusiasm could get away with her. Sooo cute.


New Anniversary Review image.
334
334
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I had a wiener dog who went through this on a yearly basis. She had a stuffed bunnie named Bunny that was her "puppy." She wouldn't let anyone else mess with Bunny. SHe would take bunnie to the water bowl and saw to it getting drinks, she would take it to the food bowl to feed it and she took it to the potty pad so it could do what it needed to, then she would clean its bottom parts. SHe was dead serious about it.

New Anniversary Review image.
335
335
Review of Magic Pie  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Awe how cute. I like the idea of a magical world. I like the way this is a modern day fantasy story. What it would be like if magic really existed for everyone. The idea of there being different times in a child's life as they are learning that they are more dangerous than others is a cool idea.


New Anniversary Review image.
336
336
Review of Raising Rabbits  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The last line is absolutely perfect!!! It is hilarious. It reminds me of conversations I have had with my wife, about cats. We had an addiction to abandoned kittens. Fortunately, we have gotten over it. They didn't sit well with our chihuahuas. Imagine telling a chihuahua that they have to wait for your lap because you're bottle-feeding another stupid kitten.


New Anniversary Review image.
337
337
Review of Ghost Hunting  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Scary. Nice slow lead up to the climax I love the last line from the ghosts. I was wondering if they were going to try to keep her as the seventh ghost. It sounds like they might have wanted to. The last paragraph wrap up seems a bit abrupt and I question whether it is necessary. It would be scarier if she just dropped the phone and that was where you left it.


New Anniversary Review image.
338
338
Review of Greeting the Ex-  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ooh that sounds like a really crappy relationship. This is a great suspenseful story. The weird thing is that all the real action is taking place outside of the story yet it is still satisfying. Is Fritzie a chihuahua that would be really scary I have seen chihuahuas go psycho on invaders.

New Anniversary Review image.
339
339
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a good short story, I like that Jasper isn't what people think of as the perfect emblem of physical prowess and yet he appears to be the future architect of the revolution. I would love to read a sequel where the kid is JohnConnoring the invaders. I could see that being so awesome.


New Anniversary Review image.
340
340
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I really like the new world order as dictated by you. I wish it were practical. Because I said so rarely works even for mothers. Then there are the men who would be unhappy listening to a woman in charge you will need to find some way of chemically neutering their stubborn-ass attitudes.

New Anniversary Review image.
341
341
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A frisbee? The twins want a Frisbee? Well it is better throwing that around than each other. I can't quite see toothless laughing though. I try but mostly see him blinking mirthfully. They will get their frisbee in the end. he could try very thin metal. a pie plate flys after all.
342
342
Review of The Hand Tree  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ooooh, creepy. Love the dialect. Love that you didn't set it in a distant mythical past. Your use of the truck made it modern. I can just see the old junker flying down the hill at a dangerous speed. I can see the young one never talking about it to anyone. Cool story.
343
343
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
He is worried about the sinfulness of a movie that he is going to watch anyway? And then because he can't get in he gets S#%^%$faced and doesn't consider that has anything to do with sinfulness. I am not saying god forbids alcohol but what I am saying is that he doesn't seem to favor drunkenness. This is a very confusing story. I hate the reality of it. But it's funny!
344
344
Review of Odd O'blography  Open in new Window.
for entry "Invalid Entry" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I thought you meant like computer logging data. This was a pleasantly informative surprise. I like the view on a time and place you do a really good job of revealing. You as a character are also surprisingly interesting and I am rooting for you as you dodge the big trucks hauling timber.
345
345
for entry "Overcome Selfishness" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This caused me to reflect on my behavior today and question whether I was more upset about how I was treated or over the fact that I didn't get what I wanted. My inner child is screaming it isn't fair, I want I want. I worry about respecting that inner child but how do I condone her behavior?
346
346
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the characters but the scene suffers from a lot of head hopping. I think it would be improved if you chose a character point of view and stuck to it. Going from the private thoughts of one character to another left me confused as to who was thinking what. If you really need to change pov end the scene and start a new one with the new point of view. The plot seems interesting. I think you could add more descriptive action. Instead of saying she looks unsure try to describe physical actions that shoe that she is unsure. That is how you can indicate what is going on in the non poverty character's head without changing pov.
347
347
Review of The Bob  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow. I wonder how just Bob becomes the Bob they were looking for by my calculations they were just 7 years off in hitting the time frame they were aiming for. He isn't the ancestor he is just an earlier version. That is of course unless it all was just an elaborate dream.
348
348
for entry "~ Ironic, Isn't It? ~" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Man, that sounds a little silly. You had things financially covered and were working towards a degree that would up your earning potential. It seemed to lack foresight to quit school just to spend a little time on the beach. You should have thought about how your beach time increased your skin cancer chances and not about a one in a hundred thousand chance of a mac truck.
349
349
for entry "A Mother's Lament" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is such a sad poem. There are a couple of places the wording doesn't quite flow.

The first line "This cradle that I once put you to sleep" doesn't seem like a complete thought I would word it "The cradle were I once put you to sleep."

I think that "It must've been me and not you, my little baby." should be "It should've been me and not you, my little baby." It seems to flow better.

I would reword "At how beautiful the world's expanse." to "At the world's beautiful expanse."

With this "You laugh at each tickle, every time you spill his cup." did you mean "your cup"?

One final note in a poem like this I would put the author's note in a dropnote so as not to clutter up the poem.







350
350
for entry "A Mosquito's Plea" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Some of the rhymes are a stretch but not beyond my tolerance. In my neck of the woods, this poem could as easily be spoken by a biting fly. They are even more annoying than the mosquitos. Mosquito bites only itch a minute or two after they take their part. Biting flies literally bite. It feels like a bite or a sting, it hurts and they are flying off before your hand gets the message to swat them. They splatter nice and bloody on lampshades too. I think the only part of the poem that doesn't equally apply to the biting fly is the part about the virus, which is inaccurate if you are talking about malaria the top mosquito-born illness in the world it is caused by a parasite not a virus.

Poetry Review Sig 1
918 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 37 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rinsoxy/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14