There were a quite a few grammatical errors that tripped me up a bit but this story held me from beginning to end. The darkness inside of this woman and she didn't even recognize how it was eating her and turning her into something else. It was transfixing and I had to read more, find out how it climaxed. When she didn't put down the knife, I knew it was coming but honestly, expected him to die so was glad to be surprised. Quite a fascinating read.
Admittedly, I had a small difficulty getting into the story at first. The conversation felt a tad bit forced but once we got into Andrew packing up and prepping to go over, my interest was peaked.
I don't look at the at the categories when I read these but loving to read and tell horror tales, I felt the underlying chill factor going and was sucked in. The scene in the park had me leaning towards my computer screen, almost holding my breath.
After reading such an intensely creepy oogy scene without a drop of blood in it, the last line kind of fell a little flat. Perhaps beef it up a bit with a "that was the night Andrew Collins was last seen" or "Matthew never quite recovered from the night that his best friend disappeared." Something that is just a little... more.
This was a fun read and quite creepy. Nicely done.
Lol, this cracked me up. There were a couple of places that I stumbled a little over the flow and admittedly, I do not have rewording that fix that but asides from that, I loved this poem.
I totally see this person sitting on their couch, almost hovering over the game, giggling a little as they collect another cat. However, coming from a family who owns eight barking dogs... I'm impressed you can finish that game regularly. In our household, my imagined person would be covering their mouth when a big dog shoved their weight between the couch and game, scattering the coveted pieces everywhere, many to be devoured before they're ever seen again.
This poem made me truly laugh and agree that despite the madness that the herd brings, it's so much easier to handle than when we also had the cat crew. Such a wonderful, delightful read. Well done.
Quite an insightful read. You have faced adversity and not only rose above it to help others but are using it to bring awareness to an issue often downplayed or simply over medicated. This is something that I feel strongly about and think more people should be paying attention too. Your thoughts are well organized and you make it personal without making it too personal. A perfect balance. Nicely done.
Take a break! Go paint, sculpt, ride a jet-ski, find a muse, do something that pulls your mind from writing. The sooner you walk away and give your mind a break, the more likely you'll be able to come back to it. Every writer has faced a moment, sometimes an excruciatingly long months to years kind of moment, where it feels as if you'd rather put your hand on a hot stove and hold it there than write. This note brings it oh so vividly up and the knowledge that the best way to uncork your well is to let it be until the water's ready to flow again. If this is where you are right now, may the muses shine bright upon you and remind you of the pleasure of writing again.
Another excellent read, love the atmosphere each of your pieces captures. This was so cute and I loved the ending of the little boys bickering quietly. It was absolutely adorable. After reading your post yesterday, I not only expected you to win but hoped for it. Sometimes, a piece just resonates with you and this was so cute, it did so. Love your work, as they say... write on!
Even without the explanation about your mother, I enjoyed this piece but when I read the bottom part, it just added to the character. I like your mother's logic and like it reflected in what you've wrote. The idea of giving to those in need to show you true love is a pretty concept and you captured it quite well in only a few stanzas. Nicely done.
Tragically sad and beautiful. There was so much detail packed into your story and my heart broke for the old man. For the most part, everything was well written but this line "Sand flows down in its normal gravity release, is here is where time can change." made me hiccough really bad. I had to reread it multiple times and it still doesn't flow right, particularly the "is here is". Perhaps change that to read "it is here where" or perhaps "with it, time can change". Otherwise, I didn't find anything that detracted from the story. Well done.
This was a very touching tale that was full of such depth and stirred up nostalgia. For instance, the part about Benji nearly had me in tears as I thought of my childhood cat who I held when the vet gave her death's sweet kiss. It was one of the few times I witnessed my father cry over an animal. I loved the description of the connection. There were a couple of lines that could perhaps be reworded just to aid in the flow but overall, very well written and a pleasant read. Nicely done.
With your summary of the story, I came here not sure what to expect as your choice of an attention grabber is a fire starter at best. However, I was pleasantly surprised. The rant I'd expected or debate starter wasn't present. This was a well done story that captured the struggle of an overwhelmed family. I absolutely felt for the children and Elsa who are caught in a dark place that isn't fair to the kiddos. I didn't see any glaring mistakes but I was kinda caught up in the story. Well done.
Lol, no really... that's not a phrase, that was my reaction. I used to have a German Shepherd who enjoyed Anne Rice books, I owned three copies of Queen of the Damned and my latest still bears the chewed on corner of his admiration. This made me think of him and crack up at the two separate perceptions of Amy. I loved the way the dog thought and it just cracked me up. Well done.
There are a few errors and areas that need reworded to help the flow of the story but other than that, this had me sitting on the edge with my fingers and toes crossed that she got away. I'm a massive sucker for a heroine who fights her way out of a situation rather than just accepting the status quo. It made me cheer for her and hope that she's not going to die of exposure on the open sea. Right?! Quite intense, well done.
Very lovely written. Makes me want to go break out one of my faerie books and read. I liked the description in the first stanza and also greatly enjoyed the spirit she showed in the stanza with the spies. I always love a heroine who establishes her strength and uses it to put them in their place. Well done.
Ah, this made me laugh out loud. I thoroughly enjoyed the adventures you tried to take your snowboarder through and the climax of him ditching you and joining your backseat writer. What a fun read and it flowed well. I totally picture this over dressed snowboarder stumbling through a picture book, each page a depiction of the story you tried him in and looking more and more frazzled as the picture book progresses. Well done.
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