General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the intent of the theme while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
Form/Style:
A good write and message about what consequences could be when choosing to help others in need that is heartfelt and introspective. Thought provoking. Well crafted free style metered rhyming Quatrain poetry which I enjoy.
Imagery:
Imagery and descriptives are nicely done. You utilize this poetic device nicely in this piece. Nice color and shading of your words that promote and evokes feeling in regards to aiding those less fortunate in the world. Through the lens of your eye and heart, you paint a picture of someone homeless or without work that you wish to help and yet you wonder what will become of that monetary aid given as you ask yourself if it is the right thing to do that any reader can appreciate.
Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and nice use of enjambment.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
Rhyme:
Rhyme and rhyme scheme is nicely done. A nice mix of near rhyme, near perfect and perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed nicely in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in lines the third stanza line one (to, do) and line two (to, you).
Tone:
Good depth of feeling as you express your reasoning in how you choose to help others, whether it will do good or harm and the questions it lays upon your heart in hopes that it will be a good deed given and received. I can relate.
Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of rhetorical questions and repetition for emphasis of feeling about giving aid to others. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to add a comma at the end of line one of the first stanza; at the end of the first line of the third stanza add a comma; add a semi-colon at the end of the second line and add a period at the end of the fourth line. This will make the flow and rhythm of the following lines even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines: "You have to believe that most people are good
And that your help is well-deserved" - When one truly wishes to help others in need these lines say it all; we have to believe that to help others is good and will do good for those deserving of it. It is an implied message of love for your fellow man and an understated empowerment through giving. A lesson for all of us to think about. Nicely done.
Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by its reflection of the theme's intent while at the same time capturing the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I love short poetry and this is a good example of it. A very good write and tribute about love received from your surrogate mother, this special woman who loved and nurtured you, the child of her heart, though not of her body, this bond of love is just as strong. Heartfelt and introspective. Good use of brevity. Well crafted Free Verse which I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of your words to promote and evoke feeling through sight and touch of the power of love. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a vivid picture of a bond of love of a mother for her child that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice use of metaphor of a mother releasing her child to grow "You gifted me wings and gave me a song, encouraged me always to soar" - good descriptive/comparison.
~Rhyme:
Nice perfect masculine end line rhyme in lines six and eight (core, soar).
~Tone:
Deep expression of emotion. You express your love, respect and honor for this special woman who raised you as her own that is inspiring and uplifting. Heartwarming bond of love that any reader can relate to. You are blessed.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about the bond between you and this special woman who loves and nurtured you through the years. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma at the end of line one and change the period to a comma at the end of line two; change the period to a semi-colon at the end of line six; remove the comma at the end of lines nine and eleven. This will make the flow and rhythm in the lines that follow even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines: "You never carried me in your womb,
nor went through all the pain.
You never really gave birth to me,
but you loved me all the same." - I love these lines; they express the power of this special bond of love, this theme of which is carried throughout the poem. Simply lovely.
~Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by the reflection of the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I love short poetry, especially if it rhymes and this is a good example. A good write and message about promises kept that is short, concise and succinct. Heartfelt. Good use of brevity. Thought provoking. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading in your words to promote and evoke feeling though sight in nature and society. Through the lens of your eye you paint a picture of performance in completing that which becomes an obligation whether by word or deed that any reader can appreciate.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcbdbeb. Lines two, four, six and eight are perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line six (be, free).
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; thoughtful words of wisdom that are encouraging and uplifting as it expresses the importance of fulfilling promises as seen in nature, society and in humankind.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Good word choice as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to limit the use of ellipsis (...) because this is such a short piece; maybe change a couple of them to commas which will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
Since this is such a short poem, I like the understated power of all the lines because they contribute to the emphasis of the whole subject/theme about the importance of promises being kept in all areas of life. Nicely done.
~Overall:
Nice closing line. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by being a reflection of its theme while at the same time capturing the poem's essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it.
Form/Style:
I'm a formalist poet and I love form poetry and this one is a favorite of mine. A good write from a father's perspective about losing beloved babies and his one wish to have been able to hold them close that is heartfelt and introspective. Good use of brevity. Well crafted free style metered rhyming couplets that are short, concise and succinct, which I enjoy.
Imagery:
Imagery and descriptives are nicely done. Nice use of this poetic device. Nice use of color and shading of your words that promote and evoke feeling through touch. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a picture of love that is both joy and pain in the loss of babies never held by a loving father whose one wish was to hold them, just one time that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is nicely done; line to line transition and breaks are nicely done. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the unique rhyme scheme: ab cb de de df gf. Every second line of each couplet is perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece. Nice mix of perfect masculine and feminine end line rhyme in lines seven and nine (me, only) of the poem. Nicely done.
Tone:
Deep expression of emotion. You express your feelings that are deeply felt; a love that is poignant and touches the heart. This is a stirring lament of loss about the wish to share love with babies you never got to hold and know that will never be forgotten. My condolences on your loss.
Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice use of alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to change the period to a comma at the end of line two; to change the period at the end of line six to a semi-colon and remove the comma at the end of line seven; change the period to a comma at the end of line ten and remove the comma at the end of line eleven. This will make the flow and rhythm of this piece even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
Since this is a short poem, I like all the lines of it because they contribute to the whole subject/theme of loss and a father's wish to hold his babies... just one time.
Overall:
Powerful closing line. Well penned and a good read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by its reflection of the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. Nicely done.
Form/Style:
I love short form poetry, especially if rhyme is incorporated within in. A good write and message about the power of love in this dedicatory piece to you wife. Heartfelt and introspective. Good use of brevity. Well crafted free style metered rhyming couplets that is short, concise and succinct.
Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of your words to promote and evoke feeling in this tribute to true love through sight and touch. Through the lens of your eye and heart, you paint a vivid picture to a love that is constant and lasting that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: ab cb. The second line of each couplet is perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece.
Tone:
Deep expression of emotion. You express the deepness of your love, how special it is beautifully in this poem. Heartwarming and fervent.
Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma at the end of line one and to change the comma to an ellipsis (...) at the end of line two. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
Since this is such a short form of poetry, I like all the lines because they contribute to the whole theme/subject of the power of love that is eternal. Nicely done.
Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. Intriguing title. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while capturing the poem's essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. Nicely done.
Form/Style:
I love form poetry and this is a good example of it. A very good write about the labyrinth of your mind created to escape love's gaze that is heartfelt and introspective. Well crafted free style rhyming couplets which I enjoy.
Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of your words that promote and evoke feeling about the multitude of chambers in your mind though sight and sound. Through the lens of your eye and heart, you paint a vivid picture of the never ending network of dark rooms, pathways and doorways in your mind that any reader can see in their mind's eye
Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm. Nice use of enjambment.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Good personification of brick, it "shouts" and questions "hide" and "whisper" - good descriptive/comparisons.
Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme. A nice mix of near perfect and perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece. Nice use of internal rhyme in line eighteen (there, dare).
Tone:
Deep expressions of emotion that are dark and powerful. You express the desolation of your feelings about this labyrinth that you created in your mind that have also caused you great fear and pain because you cannot find your way out of your creation where there seems to be no exit. You've built a trap from which you cannot escape, nor does it fade. Only your cry to God to help free you from this prison/maze will you find hope for healing.
Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about being trapped in this maze of pathways in your mind. Nice use of onomatopoeia (echo, crash). Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses or a period at the end of a thought will give emphasis to the ideas you wish to get across to the reader as well as making the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion. Also, check the twelfth couplet (lines twenty-three and twenty-four). I seem to trip over the second line of this couplet when I read it aloud. Maybe something like: 'is the one created by me' but this is only a suggestion.
I especially like the following lines: "Anger, passion, madness, grief
Nowhere seems to find relief" - I like these powerful lines. They summarize the feelings about being trapped in this maze of your creation. What was thought to be a means of protection has now become a prison of pain as expressed through to the end of the poem. Nicely done.
Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and a good read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject to your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while capturing the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
Form/Style:
I love short poetry and rhyming makes it a particular favorite for me. A very good write about the power of the eyes through its glaring stare that is short, concise and succinct. Good use of brevity with clever word play. Well crafted free style metered rhyming tercets which I enjoy.
Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device very well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of words that promote and evoke feeling through sight. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a vivid picture of the 'darts' thrown through the eye towards another that can cause pain and fear that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice metaphor about how dangerous eyes can be through the 'look' - an "arrows quiver" given to another. Good descriptive/comparison.
Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abb cbb deb. Every second/third line in first two tercets are perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece. Nice mix of near rhyme in the second/third lines of the third tercet.
Tone:
Good depth of feeling. You express the cold, darkness of a glare that can frighten and cause one pain who is on the receiving end of it. Letting this 'evil eye' fly is so powerful that even lightning dims before it. Well done.
Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.
I especially like the following lines:
Because this is such a short poem, I like all the line of the piece because they contribute to the whole theme/subject of the power of the eye, the "arrows" shot to others though its dark glare. Nicely done.
Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. Nicely done.
Form/Style:
I love short poetry, and especially when it rhymes. This is a good example of it. A good write about the friendship between a cat and puppy that is warm and affectionate. Heartfelt. Good use of brevity. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry that is short, concise and succinct and a form which I enjoy.
Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of words that provoke and evoke feeling through sight and touch in sleep and play through two playmates. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of the love between a cat and puppy through their playfulness and as sleep mates that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment. Constant eight syllables per line throughout poem.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabb ccdd. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this poem. Nice use of internal rhyme in line three of the second stanza (they, play).
Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling; you express the beauty of this friendship between a cat and puppy that is heartwarming. One can sense the love and light humor expressed between them even if it is hidden; yet, the reader can also see their contentment with each other. Nicely done.
Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of their connection. Good use of alliteration, consonance with nice assonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.
I especially like the following lines:
Because this is such a short poem, I like all the lines of it because they contribute to the whole theme/subject of this special friendship between a cat and puppy. Well done.
Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it and reflects the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I love short poetry, especially when it rhymes. A good write about walking alone in the woods that is short, concise and succinct. Good use of brevity. A well crafted free style metered rhyming poem which I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptive. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading to promote and evoke feeling through sight and sound. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of her walk, alone with no communication when she hears something that causes her to become fearful that any reader can see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabbccdddd. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece.
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling. I like how the suspense builds throughout the poem. You express the fear she feels about a mysterious sound very well and having no way to contact anyone that makes her heart beat faster. One can sense her nervousness as she looks around to see what made the noise and then her relief when she realizes who the culprit was, a rabbit. Nicely done.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, to add a period at the end of line two; add a semi-colon at the end of line four; add a period at the end of lines six and eight. This will give emphasis to each thought as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
Because this is a short poem, I like all the lines of it because they contribute to the whole subject/theme of what she experience on her walk alone in the woods and how she 'scares' herself that at the end of the poem gives the reader a bit of comic relief. Nicely done.
~Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I love short poetry and this is a good example of one. A good write and message about what persons have hidden away from those close to them, secrets that are always there and seem to fan the fire of guilt and discontent that break down rather than build up. Heartfelt. Thoughtful. Good use of brevity. Well crafted Free Verse that is short, concise, and succinct; all of which I do enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery and descriptives are nicely done. Nice utilization of this poetic device. Nice use of color and shading of your words to promote and evoke feeling about the way secrets can tear a person down causing problems with relationships. Through the lens of your eye you paint a picture of discontentment; how keeping secrets can build up in your 'life's closet' which is carried around with a person wherever they go and slowly brings about ruin to them and their relationships that any reader can relate to.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice use of metaphor about secrets kept in life, these "skeletons" that all of us have and hide. Nice descriptive/comparisons.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is not applicable in this piece.
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; you express an implication of fear and conflict that occurs in regards to secrets kept that tear away at a person deep inside and causes inner turmoil as well as breaking down relationships with others. Obstructive.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma at the end of lines three and four and change the period to an ellipses (...) at the end of line five; remove the comma at the end of lines six and nine. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
Since this is a short poem, I like all the lines of the poem because they contribute to the whole theme/subject about how these "skeletons" work to destroy a person and their relationships with an insidiousness that seems to have a power of its own.
~Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a good read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
A good write and message about your dreams that are heartfelt and introspective. Good use of brevity. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry that is short, concise and succinct and which I enjoy very much.
~Imagery:
Imagery and descriptives are nicely done. Nice utilization of this poetic device. Good use of color and shade to your words to promote and evoke feeling about your dreams. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a picture of life change and its affect upon your dreams and how your choices keep your dreams alive that any reader can appreciate.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the unique rhyme scheme: abcbdefegfhf. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece (renewed, skewed; afraid, made, ahead, dead).
~Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling. You express your thoughts about your life journey that is upbeat in attitude and encouraging. I like your outlook on life, how it is a choice made that moves forward towards your ultimate goal of securing your dreams. A hopeful pep talk to yourself with an implied message that your dreams are achievable and that they're not dead, a message that any reader can relate to. Nicely done.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good use of alliteration, nice assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines: "I'm on the right path now
No longer afraid
Of the changes ahead
Or the choices I've made" - I love these lines. I think all of us have felt this way at some time during our lives. You express well how good it feels when you sense and know you have chosen the right direction in your life, a theme that you carry through with to the end of your poem. Well done.
~Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I love short poetry and this is a good example of it. A very good write and message about the 'social' technological age that is short, concise and succinct. Excellent use of brevity. Clever word play. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry that I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery and descriptives are nicely done. Nice utilization of the poetic device. The color and shading used in your words promote and evoke feeling through interaction in social media. Through the lens of your eye you paint a picture of how a person expresses their feelings in the digital age that any reader can appreciate.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm. Nice use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabcdefcge. Nice use of near rhyme and perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece.
~Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling. I like the "punch" in this social commentary. Very good advice and words of wisdom that any reader can relate to very well.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of the message. Nice use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma at the end of line five; change the comma at the end of line six to a semi-colon and remove the comma at the end of line nine. This will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
This is short poetry and I like all the lines of the poem because they contribute to the whole theme/subject of connecting with others in the information age, a message of how one should conduct themselves in social media. Well thought out with implied power.
~Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while capturing the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
A very good write about this special loving relationship that lasts through the years. A heartfelt and edifying dedicatory piece. Well crafted Free Verse which I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device beautifully in this piece. Good use of color and shading of your words to promote and evoke feeling about this long lasting relationship that deepens through the years. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a vivid picture of true love, its beauty and joy, the excitement of their journey together and hope for the future through good times and bad that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm. Nice use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice metaphor for home (earth): "this wondrous blue-green orb" - good descriptive/comparison.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is not applicable in this piece.
~Tone:
Deep expression of emotion. A beautiful, heartfelt blessing upon this couple through the peaks and valley's of their lives forever entwined together in love that deepens as time passes. Lovely expression of romance through imagery of nature that touches the heart and soul. Hope permeates this piece, the wonder of true love, its power felt from beginning to end. Nicely done.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.
I especially like the following lines: "From the rosy, golden hues of a brand new day,
To the deepening skies of a harkening dusk,
Two soon-to-be-engaged, distant lovers
Embark on an inspiring and momentous journey." - I love these lines. It's a powerful beginning expressing the specialness of their relationship; their union and the journey they are about to begin together that is heartfelt, deep and the hope for them and their future, that essence/implication that is followed through to the end of the poem. Simply lovely.
~Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
A good write in the first person perspective about your venture outside on a cold snowy winter night that is heartfelt and introspective. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading to your words to promote and evoke feeling about this season through sight, scent, touch and taste. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of your evening stroll; how you spent this wintery night that was cold and snowy that ended with your respite from it, inside where you warmed up drinking hot cocoa, relaxed then curled up in bed to dream that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcb dede fefg hihi. A nice mix of near rhyme and perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece. Nice use of internal rhyme in line three of the third stanza (cocoa, so).
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling. You express your thoughts about this cold, snowy night, how you spent it and enjoyed it in its peacefulness that any reader can relate to.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about how you spent this night. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
This is a fairly short poem and I like all the lines of it because they contribute to the whole theme/subject of the piece about how you spent this particular winter night. You expressed your observations about the cold and what you did to relieve it nicely.
~Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the intent of the theme while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal that invites readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I love short poetry and this is a very good example of it. A very good write about what life is like through the cycle of time and seasons that is heartfelt and introspective. Good use of brevity. Skillfully crafted Free Verse which I enjoy that is short, concise and succinct.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device beautifully in this piece. Good use of color and shading to your words that promote and evoke feeling about the life cycle and its affects on a person. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a vivid picture of the life cycle, its beauty through renewal, growth, aging to hibernation and back to the budding life of renewal; a cycle that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and nice use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Very good use of metaphor of a person, their cycle of life as seen in a leaf: "change with the seasons"; "I bud"; "I bloom"; "I brown" (age); "I die" and rebirth "become part of the earth" - good descriptive/comparisons.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is not applicable in this piece.
~Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling. You express with warmth and fervor the cycle of life in a person through years of growth as seen through the character of the leaf. Profound and thought provoking.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about the life cycle. Good use of alliteration, assonance with nice consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines: "Like a leaf on a tree
I change with the seasons" Excellent opening lines. I like the power expressed and the poignancy implied in these lines, the theme of which is carried through with a brilliance that continues throughout to the end of the poem. Well done.
~Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I like short poetry and this one is nicely done. A good write about dance as it expresses the partnership between two people who draw closer to each other through the dance. Nice use of brevity. Well crafted Free Verse which I enjoy that is short, concise and succinct.
~Imagery:
Imagery and descriptives are good. You utilize this poetic nicely in this piece. Good use of color and shade in your words to promote and evoke feeling between dancers through sight, sound and touch. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of the nuances and romance of the dance between two people who find joy in each other that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is not applicable in this piece.
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; you express how these dancers feel happiness and joy by dancing together that draws them closer emotionally, uplifting their day by enjoying their time together that any reader can relate to.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good. Strong use of repetition for emphasis on the movement of the dance. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling erorrs found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma after "mix" in line five; remove the comma after "twirl" in line seven and add a comma after "tomorrow" in line eight. This will make the flow and rhythm in your poem even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines: "Laughter and passion mix, forming emotions
and pictures never seen but in dreams." - I like the emotion expressed in these lines. It show how dance becomes romance to the two people sharing that moment, sharing a closeness from the catalyst of dance.
~Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while capturing the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I like short form poetry and this is a favorite of mine. A very good write about celebrating Independence Day. Heartfelt. Very good use of brevity. Skillfully crafted traditional Senryu chain. Perfect 5/7/5 syllabic form.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading for words that promote and evoke feeling about this holiday through sight and sound. Through the lens of your eye you paint vivid snapshots of the awesome beauty of a night sky painted by fireworks, inspired by Independence day that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition an breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm amnd enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this form of poetry.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is not applicable in this form of poetry.
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; you express the awe felt by those watching the beauty and majesty of fireworks in celebration of July 4th. I can relate.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a note, punctuation (periods) are not usually used in haiku/senryu so I would remove the period at the end of the first two Senryu.
I especially like the following lines:
This is a short form of poetry and because of it I like all the lines because they contribute to the whole theme/subject which is the celebration of the 4th of July by fireworks enjoyed by the people that watch them all over the nation.
~Overall:
Good closing Senryu. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I love form poetry and this form is a favorite for me. A very good write about this magical place, Wonderland. Dark, deceptive and ensnaring. Good interpretation of the picture prompt. A skillfully crafted Kyrielle Sonnet. Perfect form.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of your words to promote and evoke feeling about this imaginary place and how it draws one into it. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a vivid picture of Wonderland, a place where there is no hurt, pain or sorrow and a place that becomes a trap where one is never allowed to leave; an insidious land that is desired which any reader can appreciate.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm. Nice execution of iambic tetrameter.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: AabB ccbB ddbB AB. A nice mix of perfect dactylic and masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece.
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; a deceptive invitation to escape from one's troubles. A cunning and crafty way to draw in its victims to this supposed 'safe' haven.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling and which drives this poetic form. Good use of alliteration, consonance with nice assonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: in the first stanza remove the comma at the end of line one and in the second stanza remove the comma at the end of line one. This will make the flow and rhythm of the following lines even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines: "Do not let real life take its toll;
Come deeper down the rabbit hole." - I love the rhythm and flow of these two lines and how they sound when read out loud. I like the subtle implication of one finding a place away from hardship in life, a way to escape problems by running away to this imaginary place that really doesn't solve anything and becomes another sort of jail that you cannot break out of.
~Overall:
Good closing couplet. Well penned and a good read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
A good write and message about the personality and character traits of an Aquarian. Informative and heartfelt. Good use of brevity. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of your words to promote and evoke feeling about the temperament of persons born under this sign. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of an aquarian: enlightened, strong, creative, intelligent and kind that any reader can appreciate.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice use of metaphor for the sun sign Aquarius: "your life giving water flows along." - good descriptive/comparison for
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabb ccde ffgg. A nice mix of near rhyme and perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece.
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling. You express your thoughts well about the inner being of an Aquarian with warmth and creativity. You express their strengths and weaknesses; that they are tenderhearted, feel things deeply and are willing to forgive.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good use of alliteration, consonance with nice assonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to change the period to a comma at the end of line one of the first stanza and remove the comma at the end of line one of the second stanza. This will make the flow and rhythm of the following lines even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines: "Creative and intelligent, too,
Your charitable acts carry through." I love the sound of these lines when read out loud. I like their rhythm and flow. I like the edifying feel of these lines that imply these persons have good self-esteem. Nicely done.
~Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
Form/Style:
I love short form poetry and this is a very good example of it. A very good write about love and how it connects two people. Heartfelt. Good use of brevity. A skillfully crafted Tyburn. Perfect 2/2/2/2/9/9 syllabic form.
Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device very well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of words to promote and evoke feelings of love through sight and touch. Through the lens of your eye and heart, you paint a vivid picture of love between two people that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and nice use of enjambment.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This device is not applicable in this poem.
Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aaaabb. A nice mix of near perfect and perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece.
Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling. You express the beauty of love, how it molds two people into one 'heart' as their love grows. I like the romantic feel of the lines as touch acts as a catalyst to bring two people together. Nicely done.
Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling and drives this poetry form. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.
I especially like the following lines:
Since this is such a short form of poetry, I like all the lines because they contribute to the whole subject/theme of how love, through touch, brings two people together, melding them into one heart; a powerful and positive result of love. Well done.
Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I love form poetry and short form in particular. This is a good example of one. A very good write about soldiers, called to duty at any time to any place. Good use of brevity and interpretation of the prompt. A well crafted Rondelet that is short, concise and succinct. Perfect 4/8/4/8/8/8/4 syllabic form. Very nice minimalistic piece.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device well in this piece. Good use of color and shade in your words that promote and evoke feeling about a soldiers lot in life. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of soldiers being called to duty, by whatever mean as ordered by the higher uppers that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: AbAabbA. A nice mix of feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece.
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; you express the staccato beat to the orders given to soldiers, rhythm and duties working hand in hand.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis on the subject as it drives this form of poetry. Nice use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.
I especially like the following lines:
Since this is a short form of poetry, I like all the lines of the poem because they contribute to the whole subject/theme of what is expected of soldier at any given moment. I like the subdued power of the lines.
~Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a good read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
I like short poetry and this is a good example of it. A very good write about obsession that is heartfelt and dark. Good use of brevity. Well crafted Free Verse that is short, concise and succinct.
~Imagery:
Imagery and descriptives are good. You utilize this poetic device very well in this piece. Good use of color and shading of words that promotes and evokes emotion of her behavior. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of her singularness; a disposition where there is no joy seen or felt in the moments in her life, only sadness as she finds no pleasure except in her dreams that any reader can sense and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice use of simile: "like a leech, the sadness won't flee" - a very somber descriptive/comparison that shows the darkness she is living in.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is not applicable in this piece.
~Tone:
Deep expression of emotion. You express a bleakness in her life; she feels no joy as she lives a disheartening life. I sense a hopelessness that blinds her to anything but her dreams.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of how she feels. Nice use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, in your first stanza remove the comma at the end of line one; change the period to a comma at the end of line two and remove the comma at the end of line three. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines: "Lost in a realm of obsession,
Like a leech, the sadness won't flee." - powerful image about this darkness which encompasses her, almost a mania that she seems to wallow in, a depressed state which seems to permeate the poem.
~Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a good read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the intent of the theme while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
A very good write about dreaming of the beauty seen at sunset shared with someone dear to you yet, it is also illusive. Heartfelt, introspective, romantic and poignant. Well crafted Free Verse which I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device beautifully in this piece. Good use of color and shading of words that promotes and evokes emotion through sight and sound. Through the lens of your eye and heart, you paint a vivid picture of a majestic sunset, its beauty and color that is breathtaking as the waves wash up against the shore that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm. Nice use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Very nice metaphor of the sun setting: "fingers of fire rake across the sky"; Nice personification of waves: it sheds "tears" - good descriptive/comparisons.
~Rhyme:
Nice masculine end line rhyme in lines two and three of the second stanza (sky, die).
~Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling; you express dreams of beauty and love shared implied, the romance of this moment that becomes fleeting as you hear a whispered goodbye... sadness and then awake to the reality of being alone. Powerful.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition and dialogue for emphasis of feeling. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. Nice onomatopoeia (weeping, whisper). No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma at the end of line two in the first stanza. This will make the flow and rhythm in the following line even better in my opinion. Also, I suggest that you look at the fourth stanza, maybe limit the use of "and, " in one of the lines if possible.
I especially like the following lines: "I saw fingers of fire
rake across the sky,
reluctant to die," - I love these lines. I love the imagery; the flow and rhythm of them. They're simply beautiful. Well done.
~Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the intent of the theme while it captures the poem's essence as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it.
~Form/Style:
I like short poetry, especially if it rhymes and this is a good example of it. A very good write about the sensuality of dance; the romance of it that is heartfelt. Good use of brevity. Good interpretation of the prompt. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry that is short, concise and succinct.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device beautifully in this piece. Good use of color and shading of words that evoke emotion through sight, sound and touch in regards to the dance. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a vivid picture of the beauty of love as experienced through the dance; its tactile nature that at times can be steamy, stimulating and lustful as it stirs the heart of the couple as they move as one that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and nice use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
This poetic device is not applicable in this piece.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabbccddee. A nice mix of feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.
~Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling; you capture the intrinsic beauty of the dance that is delightfully sensual in this pas de deux moment between two people that enraptures them as well as those who watch that may be enchanted by it or flustered by their 'gyrations'. Good use of contrasts. Well done.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling in the rhumba. Good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.
I especially like the following lines: "percussive rhythms, suggestive depiction,
intertwined legs: body friction." - I love these lines, the images they create, the rhythm of the lines, how they sound when read aloud and their suggestive sensuality. These lines definitely describe what some call dirty dancing, this theme that is carried through to the end of the poem.
~Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!
General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.
~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it by reflecting the theme's intent while it captures the essence of your poem as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. Nicely done.
~Form/Style:
A good write about returning home in a storm from a bird's point of view. Creative and imaginative. Clever word play. Good interpretation of the prompt. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.
~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You utilize this poetic device very well in this piece. Good use of color and shading that evokes emotion through sight and sound during a storm. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a vivid picture of a powerful storm: rain, thunder and lightning that a bird must overcome to reach home to get out of it that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.
~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and use of enjambment.
~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice personification of the heavens as having a voice which "grumble" and "echoes"; thunder, its "rhythmic clapping" - good descriptive/comparisons.
~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabccb ddeffe gghiih. A good mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.
~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; you express the determination of the bird to beat all odds in this storm to reach its final destination, the warmth and safety of its nest. I like how the suspense builds as the storm grows stronger as the bird battles the elements to reach home.
~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of alliteration, assonance with good consonance. Very nice use of onomatopoeia (grumble, echoes, rumble, clapping). No spelling or punctuation errors found.
I especially like the following lines: "grey ocean of thunder,
dense, rhythmic clapping
in storm-clouds wrapping
the world down under" - I love the rhythm and sound of these lines when they are read out loud. Powerful images are expressed vividly. Well done.
~Overall:
Good closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!
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