That was an interesting poem. To me, the speaker was the person who died and was reflecting on how people came out of the woodwork for the funeral/wake as well as commenting on the sudden wake up call to get things in order, priorities. Nicely done.
That was a good short story. I liked how you worded the ending, having it as both an ending and a beginning. Just one thing I noticed in the first paragraph.
Close at her heals was her ever present companion, Fred the cat.
It might be different where you're from, but here, it's spelt heels.
That was a good poem to read, very clear imagery. I thought it had definate conservation value for a side theme. Nicely done at projecting the message. Good work.
This was nice. It seemed almost what could be written in a letter to a mother to thank her and to share the burden. Good work. I hope it goes well incorporating it into your novel. Good luck.
That was an interesting story. The twist was a good one, even though the clues were given, the other man just didn't pick up on them with being suspicious only for himself. Nicely done.
Even though I have not heard the Cd mentioned, i thought this poem was really great. It accurately portrays a girl who has to move on and leave the childhood behind her. In this case an old trusty piano that got her wherre she is today. Nicely done.
I thought this was good. As with your description, I can clearly see the situation. Especially with the second verse. But in general, well done. It was easy to read and nicely laid out.
I thought this was quite amusing to read. The one sided aspect to the dialogue wasn't a problem as the reader got enough ideas as to his replies from what she said. What I found most amusing was the ending where she is lining up to do it all over again. Good work.
Good story. I thought it was interesting how you put in facts over the timing in history within the story. Great idea. Nicely done.
Spelling, punctuation and grammar challenges:
Bear in mind I might say things a bit differently with spelling, but trying not to be too localized.
“Teodore we will run out of food if the Russian army don’t stop taking our live stock livestock. Everyone is afraid and hiding in their homes, especially with younger men at war.” Teodore said nothing back to his wife, and headed outside to his backyard where a group of soldiers were talking. He approached the Red Russian officer who was in charge.
NOTE:
The typos I found, I replaced corrected in red text. The punctuation and grammar challenges I found, I replaced with green text. All other comments, questions, thoughts and/or plot challenges, I listed in blue.
To me this was a nice poem written about a city built on the beach and in the between area on the sand before the towering buildings and not having yet entered the streets. Nicely done.
That was an interesting take on a real life meeting after chatting online. Nicely done.
Thee is just one thign I would suggest. When you're talking about people's names, perhaps starting with a capital letter. Claire, as opposed to claire.
That was fun to read. Kids can be so amusing, that's for sure. But it was nice it ended up without too much drama. Liked the prank with the shoes. Interesting idea that one.
This was a great idea for a folder. The way you'd laid it out with the names and descriptions of all the birds under a photo of a number of parrots was great. Introducing them all before moving on to images and other items was helpful. You have quite a collection, very nice.
Neat story, it brought back memories for me at rescuing an abandoned week old parrot chick from my aviary. It was from a young pair, first time parents. After a mad dash to find something to feed her, settled on babyfood and eyedropper. Did real well on it.
Anyway, your parrot sounds really cute. Very nice colouring from the sound of it.
I thought this was good and descriptive. Well worded to describe that experience in poem form. I liked how you referred to it as taking off or sailing off in the last line. But the bleakness of the current situation is also evident, and written as a vast change from younger days. Very true. Well done.
Nice poem. I thought it summed up the description about blindfolds of love coming off really well. Spoken by the person who put more, or felt more in regards the the relationship.
Although I can hear the tone of anger and perhaps slight irony behind the words, so it's not just hurt feelings being dealt with. Good work.
I found this story interesting to read. As with your comment at the end, I didn’t find the part in blue affecting it that much in a bad way, if at all. I thought it was good showing the diversity between her imagination and actual reality. The story ended well too, letting the reader know that she wasn’t giving up on her imagination. Nicely done.
NOTE:
The typos I found, I replaced corrected in red text. The punctuation and grammar challenges I found, I replaced with green text. All other comments, questions, thoughts and/or plot challenges, I listed in blue.
That was really interesting to read. I liked how it ended with them both returning then leaving anything else up to a continuation or sequel. Nicely done.
Spelling, punctuation and grammar challenges:
The morning arrived far too quickly and, needless to say, I was not thrilled with the idea. I’d promised Emily that we would spend the day walking around London, and she was already awake and bustling around the hotel room. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and began tugging at the rubber band in her hair. I couldn’t help but laugh.
NOTE:
The typos I found, I replaced corrected in red text. The punctuation and grammar challenges I found, I replaced with green text. All other comments, questions, thoughts and/or plot challenges, I listed in blue.
Interesting story, I found the twist at the end amusing. Good work.
Spelling, punctuation and grammar challenges:
He was shouting at the top of his voice. “What are you doing boy? Stop shuffling and look into my eyes. I said look into my eyes. The final is just a day away and you’re still good but I need your best. Wake up, damn you!” And he slapped him hard.
He answered and thanked them all. As he was moving towards the team, areporter shouted. “Can we call you a whisperer?”
NOTE:
The typos I found, I replaced corrected in red text. The punctuation and grammar challenges I found, I replaced with green text. All other comments, questions, thoughts and/or plot challenges, I listed in blue.
That was a good descriptive story about a person out in a huge storm on the edge of a swollen river where everything seems like water. Having it emphasised, the aloneness, was well done also. Almost as if they won't be missed, at least not at first. Nicely done.
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