This was a nice short poem. Wrapping it up in six lines, really well done. I just have a suggestion or two for the second verse.
Rocking nests soothed by gentle wind.
Who makes whispered songs,
Depending on if this is intentional, I'm uncertain. But to me it seems like gentle wind could either be plural, gentle winds. Or else like this - Rocking nests soothed by the/a gentle wind. Either the or a would work.
I thought this was very interesting to read, almost educational. Even though it's listed as prose, to me it had almost a poetry feel to it with the short sentences. Nicely done.
I thought this article was great. I'd recommend it anytime to give to families that are considering doing the same thing. Personal experiences such as this are very helpful and can help them understand the reality on a personal level. Very nicely done.
That was an interesting poem to read. I thought it captured the theme of the title well. Nicely done as in the intro, a spur of the moment thing.
Lets see, suggestions. The only thign I could come up with is perhaps you could split the longer lines into two lines. But that's not necessary. Good work.
Firstly, I assume that the dragon speaking lived a lot longer than whoever they spoke about. In that respect, it has a certain sadness to it, and it's almost as if the dragon is saying what if...........
But it was good to read, very enjoyable. Nice work.
I thought this story was really good. The bittersweet realisation of time flying past and waking up one day to wonder what happened, so to speak with her mother admitting to herself that time has gone too fast with the play as what helped the situation as her daughter had a grown up role to play. Nicely done.
I thought this was quite entertaining. for al the undercurrents of frustration, it made me smile. Yes, camping can be like that. Been years since I tried it myself though.
I thought this was good. Reading it I found myself half expecting a bit of a twist with the wording not quite comfirming the identity of who the story was really about. Well done on writing about someone remembering an old loved pet. Nice work.
This poem was good. To me it spoke of renewal and what was needed for that to take place. I'm unsure if the flower was a cut one, or part of a pot plant. But either way, nice work.
I'd call it a freestyle poem. It was good to read. Very apt description of being out in a seriously big storm and appreciating the beauty side of it as well as the danger it could unleash. The speaker seems to be viewing it from outdoors, rather than indoors, which increases the risk of this. Nice work.
This was nice to read. It was sad, but then that was the theme, so good work.
The speaker seems to be coping with the reason for the separation, but is keeping one idea on hope for the future. in the meantime, is coping by using what's described.
Very nice. This is the first poem I've seen in this format since having to do it in class. Great effort writing about someone breaking free, as in death and going on with those left behind imagining it. Very apt title too. Well done.
Well done on a story that will really leave an impression. I found it sad and unfortunate in places, which was clearly the intention. The start was interesting. It made me wonder at what they were talking about at first. Good work.
This poem was good. To me it spoke of a beautiful summer day and of someone wandering around sampling what they could find and see.
I only have one line suggestion.
The third line - Unconfined ocean ragged high, and free.
You could lose the comma and I think it would flow well without it. Have a read aloud, and see what works best. Ragged, is that what you mean? Or do you mean raged?
This story was a good one, of an attack that turned into a deadly misunderstanding. My first suggestion is one that was told to me way back. Put spaces between paragraphs. It makes it easier to read.
Now for suggestions with the story.
She steped out thinking that was weird but it wasn't weird enough to alarm her until she looked in the steamy mirror after getting dressed.
She stepped out thinking…………….
Karmen stood staring at it frozen with fear. Then she let out a screechingly loud scream.
Then she let out a screeching loud scream.
Karmen thought that maybe she should go and grab her cordless phone and call her boyfriend, Ted, to ask him to stay with her because she was frightened. when she grabbed the phone she heard some sort of glass breaking in the kitchen.
Is it supposed to be a full stop after frightened?
When she grabbed it she noticed the phoneline had been cut.
…. The phone line had been cut.
Karmen shreeked at the top of her lungs.
Karmen shrieked at the top of her lungs.
Karmen grabbed the toaster and hit the man over the head as hard as she could knocking him unconcious. Karmen ran to her neighbor's apartment and pounded on the door as hard as she could crying loudly. Her neighbor opened the door and asked Karmen what was wrong. "There was a man after me." she explained "He's unconcious in my apartment."
unconscious
Karmen peeked inside her aparment and saw that the man was still lying there.
apartment
Karmen new that she had to back in and make sure that he wouldn't go anywhere. Karmen knew that she had to go back in…….
The Police Officer touched Teds neck to feel for a pulse.
The Police Officer touched Ted’s neck to feel for a pulse.
That poem I thought was great. As well as describing the reader's response to the loss, it also diverted to include mention of others who would feel the same way. That's very realistic. Often those left behind is far reaching, not just a handful of individuals. Well done.
That was an interesting poem and enjoyable to read. To me it seems to be about a person who is just getting over a loss (romantic) and is finding that things are improving for them even though they still feel sad. Nice effort showing the transition. Well done.
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