Good morning, Bill, Received your email request for a rev this morning and very nice to meet you.
OF: HAIKUS ... yes, understand these are always rather brief.
IN: Haikus (about trees) a similar feel for our friends, trees does come across. Like: "are about to talk." Now, never thought of that before .. taking the understanding that involves wind in the boughs.
Thank you for posting them and ...
WRITE ON! Rhyme on!
PS: One major suggestion:
Use capital letters whenever feasible, this allows one's work to be taken seriously, of course. Or one's bio notes.
Suggestion/ correction: The plural of haiku is haiku -- no 's' needed.
LOVE THAT NEVER LEAVES, a brief poem from http://www.writing.com member: Johnny_mac opens a time bomb ticking or ongoing re: SEPT 11, 2001. While, the copyright tells us ... this was posted last month.
Maybe, just maybe ... We're in a new phase re: the most horrific attack on civilians in NY City to date. Watch, someone offer stats to the contrary ... well, sure Pearl Harbor, Gettysburg ... all well known killers of humanity.
Yet, perhaps any current phase is still inside those reels we saw at the time for weeks that fateful autumn. The use of "peace" here-in puzzles this reader. The pen does little to expound or awaken a major event. Does it request anything? Commentary, grief? Unsure at this desk. And read this three times.
Suggest: Viewing the film ZEITGEIST for more researchable phases tied to this intro below.
Stay the course, Johnny ... whenever you WRITE ON!!
Overall ... thinking this topic as presented deserves much more. However, do understand individual call for writing choices are long or short. Please, do not forget this is only one POV.
So nice to find your poetry again on Auto Rewards, p.17. Auto Rewards, of course, presenting ready to read poetry and other creations from WC-ers. Also generously filling 1,057 pages with, 31,701 reading choices to click. YES, Kathie, THANKS for posting. (Sorry, I digress.)
OF: BROKEN CLOCK, CRUSHED HEART, Redtowrite lets the hair down as narrator sums her warrented disappointment (etc.)
First stanza sets the pace ...
Ah! When ... the clock's comparison ... brings the ordeal out in the open ... ???
Viewer's shall find --- ?
Yes, quite a decent pen.
Clicking back to this tantalizing contest, just now, after following your works on Amazon.
Wow, you surely do provide much INFO, well worth reading for all who enter your contests over time and for this I am grateful. The morning and afternoon at my digs shall merit an educational look see at what as judge you may be seeking.
Here: Links via Amazon, Lulu, short story anthologies, detective series --- hold my interest. Somehow, smitten seven ways of sideways as you deem to make all of these blend into a mixed bag of do-ables for potentially talented authors.
Yes, links here take us right to the latest. Thank goodness!
Bye for now, John, with high CONGRATS on your finely told, noteworthy success tales & how very nice to meet you. AND --- due a pre-cast deadline putting pen to paper mode into play, ASAP!
I REAP WHAT I SOW, contains a cunning refrain, where-in one hears the lecture to the character (girl) @ "I reap what I sow" and it sticks inside the poem, transporting soundwise to this reader.
A blast to write poetry, with perhaps revelations in mind ... if author-to-author sharing is the thing. However, impossible to actually, at all times, in every instance to do more than simply enjoy, bereft of judgment. Besides, liking this one ... am not qualified to correct or suggest any changes at this point. Thus, the saying onsite --- RHYME ON!
One thing one may never do, is take for granted truth inside items explored and read online.
THE LAST LETTER is a poem with stanzas outlining specific feelings of the narrator, which qualifies into genres which spell sadness or depression, while using emotional/ psychological.
The startling end ... also fits all of the above.
One typo: @ nooone ... for no one
Well, nice to meet you, Toonie, and hope all is indeed well at your spot along the I-net highway.
OH my oh my oh my ... what terrible tales you record here .. all due to the Microsoft culprit, Office 2007. My first question is: isn't your computer able to return to an earlier date? Say before this tresspass into your world of documents re: a novel in progress?
Here, ladies and gentleman, kids and neighbors all .. find a brief rendition of upgrades being akin to newest downgrades.
Love the pivot line which sets the pace ... but sorry for this WDC member's delays and frustrations
concerning the culprit in the title.
"I continue to fight with 2007."
recorded sequentially on "July 10, 2008." OUCH!!!
Also, recently private looks at the I-net in general (really a stretch) led me yesterday to "tracking." Terms in use are all redefined words from Webster, of course. While PC/ I-net related techno jargon sets me to dozing, OFFICE 2007 REVIEW is a bit of the opposite.
So, you have my sympathy, H. And, you are correct in mentioning or alluding to: ... always keep a copy. Maybe the floppy disc is not the dinosaur OP, wafting in the know --- dub these to be. ME: as in ... if it works ... stay the course.
BEST, seriously, best best luck, forever in all future witing endeavors.
IF You don't mind, hyperlongate seriously, amidst the giggles, supplied by the conclusion of THE INTERVIEW ... must step outside the revver's box, here in a minute.
Sorry, the end of this is one of those things which tickles the soul pertaining to the world of interview/ interview/ application/ application/ when out of work stats (past or present) might be claimed by thousands of us out here in http://www.writing.com membership land.
For the love of God, this ending is really funny. LOL is way inadequate so instead ...thank you. Rather --- the all caps --- THANK YOU --- for making my day, luv.
Cordially, TEFF
PS: Oh BTW --- if you were seeking negative comments or editorial corrections via suggestions ME: rev guideline musties ... My imperative suggetion now runs: that you send this at least to your local newspaper. Who wouldn't print this?
A fond good morning to new member: Wilma Seke and welcome to the site.
CAN'T SMELL THE ROSES is both sad and funny in a way. The poem is delivered well but a bit light printwise. ME: sometimes if one uses bold, most things instantly appear as totally easier to view. Of course, no subtraction in rate. Bold, hon, is like this {b } then close the second bracket.
Time restriction here is probably the most bothersome thing going in our daily lives. When will we ever relax? Early Retirement?
Now, of course, there shall always be reviewers or reviewer groups that despise how OP revs are not in keeping with how they themselves prefer to cast a rev upon a fellow community member at http://www.writing.com. However, can't satisfy those folks apparently.
I like this poem and would never change one single line of poetry.
THE TIE IN to content:
Just wondering, if we are tarried, and that includes a nation of luckily employed ... the clock ticks. Perhaps to counter your words, dear poet, maybe a strong look at dawn to dusk. Whenever one fills that spate bereft over-emphasis on electric light or plugged-in gadgets ... there lies a relaxtion like no other.
Well nice to meet you, Wilma. Thanks for posting this.
From: CAN'T SMELL THE ROSES ... lines which startle this reader/ writer, myself.
"Time has no master/ You're only its slave/ Until the day you die."
this reader/author (moi) can barely resist such a catchy title.
Yes, sound wise, a funny presentation in letter form, dear author. Finding a hoot by "dam damn town," no doubt. Also, presently tum growls for breakfaast, but glad you partake of a sandwich aka 'Dam Special.' Which tickles me.
Hold on now, the hand written notes ... ah yes ...
THE SUGGESTIONS
Poppy: These rather are author-to-author hints which "Invalid Item" records over the years.
The word 'get' is broadly being overused in digital writing. Not here, hon, but everywhere else. TEFF astonishingly even finds the ever popular online "writing advise industry" using get for have, or as anything pasted like glue to a predicate. Get in the long run became a staple of many a overwordy, too crunchy verb sandwich.* *Coined by moi in 2004.
Okay, sorry, I digress no more.
Your's is "(I) ... decided to get something to eat." Well, we observe the nasty word 'something' also taking on pratically life forms around here. And yes, we're all guilty, myself included. This is why there's re-re-re edit, of course.
Anyways ... something can change ... suffice to lunch. And truly adore "Dam Special" speaking of sandwiches.
get back === return
got pulled over: stopped
bridge when -- bridge --- where
Decided, started (et all) are fluff words which writers often drop from first drafts later on. These are hot potatoes.
Thus, "I decided to exit ..." morphs to exited ... Readers see what any character does/ did. Thus killing 'decided' whenever feasible. Slight snag for TEFFY.
AT: Judge was seated --- can slice to before the judge ... then the Dam damn jail ... goodness ... funny and sharp, simply needs a teeny weeny slice. And maybe upper case D for Dam.
Bye for now ... write soon and all of the time!
Thus concludes: Providing edit suggestions for betterment of THE DAM TOWN. Plus, LOVED content --- rating high.
Hope you don't mind me telling you, buzzing around today to find out what's the latest haps on Auto Rewards. Plus in the mood for reading.
This is a fabulous poem, easily understood, allowing creativity flow with word choices and placement for compliments.
Especially favor:
"Designed by the Gods,
She is my cosmic twin."
And of the theme ala pre-writing for this March 2008 poem, thinking we cross the gender line with character creation. So we do, willing and quite often.
Cordially, your old friend ... TEFF
teffom@writing.com
Imagine if you will, a world far away from a road side rest. Then, read THE DIAPER CHANGE by http://www.writing.com poet, Poppy.
This is so funny, even taking a breath half way thru, memory returns of bygone days. Your comparison for auto speak is one of the best things read all year by this author/ reviewer. And does invoke when George Thoroughgood lent his "BAD TO THE BONE" tune
to the plastic diaper industry.
THANK YOU!!! and keep 'em coming, hon, for laughter makes the world go around.
Kenzie, what you write here is not only an eye-opener most electonic writers live with in their lives, but also a wake up call for the unaware.
Recently, noted an different online search on a digital aspect (I-net) topic. Incredibly (and sharing here as tie-in to WHOSE WORK ARE YOU STEALING?) a guy with a website and a blog showed works of OP (other people) by calling his site a library. What a stretch, huh?
Of your term "feel good" pieces which often are forwarded to lists of folks ... these were dubbed outright spam in 2001-2-3 and today.
Quoting without ref as if their own is indeed a very shoddy deception. The bowl with the holes in it, eventually drains and no glory reigns. We should welcome all discussions via pieces such as this item, inclusive of all of your announced topics here. Thank you very much for writing this and posting it open for readers and writers of all ages, from all walks of life.
Lastly, back in the day (myself online since 2001) find then 'twas when things really did take off due to Sept 11, 2001 in a matching sense to 'eagles' et all, because countless people wanted to express! Whereas, even re-written ideas fall into a questionable display of exactly what you are edging at. We shouldn't post e-open wise without repeating this title, my friend.
Now with LAST BREATH, find this a fine mystery genre pen. You manage to include all the proper things any Agatha Christie short would indeed boast.
You've shown the relatives, the butler, the murder. And it was neat to read.
THE SUGGESTION:
Maybe, re post with spaces between paragraphs. Easily fixed next time out.
And, tons of times we tend to write the way OP (other people) either write or authors aim at our idea of meeting average ways for what (we think) they expect us to write.
Thus, perhaps (and this is completley up to you) re-think things like ... confused eyes
finished body
shadowed house
black emptiness
These don't fit the rest of the eloquence. Do you see what I mean?
Okay, best summer ahead, and good luck with all future writing endeavors. You've the knack for the craft! Very nice to meet you, dear.
Hello, dear http://www.writing.com member. Hope this brief missive finds you well and now well on your way for decisions re: onsite exposure since this October 2008 creation.
Seemingly aims to steer a former new member toward answers. This is a fine way to get your feet wet. So, certainly a good idea with 8 multiple choice questions and a few --- one word answers.
THE SUGGESTION: Since you were looking to steer about or navigate, perhaps a little background on your writing or reading preference could be inclusive. But as polls are brief, best fun past and present.
Recently watched the movie ZEITGEIST which sports a part one centering on religious "plagiarism." Yes, there is such a thing surprisingly enough. So, now after that pretty much pales in comparison.
However, you ask a question, supply replies and if keeping this one alive all this time, no doubt you probably enjoy the communications you receive. In essence more power to you, my friend.
Don't worry about this rate too much, I really didn't know what you expect here.
THE SUGGESTION:
Anyone can post polls, which are serious or light, of course. Some writers or pollsters often use a bit more info as to purpose. However, that is each individual's call while any future changes are your's to make or consider.
You know, dear, Mars, the poll you provide here is one that reaches quite wide as in world wide. Wonderful!
We are, one supposes, farther extended due to online stats, available to all should they so desire. We may also note that English is no longer the driving force that moves the I-net. That changed recently and is why China moved forward with increased I-net connections.
Here, readers and poll takers can share what their reasoning is these days. Glad to see this over --- reach --- on http://www.writing.com.
Best fun ahead as you read all your answers to these questions which are certainly of a tell all, regional and geographic nature.
Just to share a bit more, Mars, one poll in my closed port previously asked whether writers type or not. The result from a small sampling netted the result from that poll was fifty fifty. Which could be another reason that some writers don't create wildly and join this international reach more often. Alas, we may never know. Then, too this poll makes me think of research mode ... so sorry, must go, heading for Scotland, again today.
"When danielblack sets out to provide a detailed explanation of the poetic form used inside CRYPT OF FLESH, justice and information are shown and delivered for readers, poets and subscribers of www.writing.com. all during this item.
When readers take up a serious look at CRYPT OF FLESH, the poem in question, they may also experience cruelty evident inside the fine lines of adroit betrayal such as:
"No wake, no funeral ..."
While readers may embrace spirits we need not "throw away."
Although this poem is quite sad, nonetheless ... Thanks for posting this, Daniel.
In this fine exploration, part questionaire, part poll, part answer ... J A Buxton tells it like it is with experience dating back to 2004.
Many times over the last four years, this author (moi) stands firmly and heatedly especially glad that I do not depend on a PC to be online. Yes, security aka the middle man is out there and he is strong. Able to lash many a surfer sailing the I-net from his/ her digital research or communication goals.
With Spam we may wonder how we were chosen to repeatedly receive emails we do not seek. Buxton may supply some answers. With social networks we may also meet and greet tabloids worths of caution when folks find they may never depart the mothership.
While things are decided by each individual as to what to join, what to use, who their ISP is to be, what changes can be made ... this revealing article allows for pre-thought before the dawn.
Thanks, Buxton. You do a fine job here with things that need to be said from time to time. And yes, enjoyed your swath of "common sense."
Isn't it a shame, a crying shame that with as much controversy about in the world and particularly the nation that we are still in a postition to recreate what we already should have. Namely --- equality.
Thus, a thought after reading
STATIC
The Second Prayer (E) Women living in the backwoods come to invision a new future and prays for it. #1651964 by Ironworker
Maybe someone out there will cite me for now not revving correctly. My take, this review from this desk.
I very much like this piece. Wonder if a suggestion to turn it into a longer short story is feasible as it is not my writing. Hate to step on any author's toes.
Glad you mention and use the citation of where this 2004 work appears originally.
The prayers themselves are heartfelt, achievement met writer to reader.
Why hello there, Earl. Found your contest in Site Navigation. My a bit of a well kept secret. Shall add this into tonight's: Update email @ "Invalid Item"
So glad to see you are offering this by the week each month. Poetry seems in the air whenever snow blankets woodsy landscapes and when romance ala Feb.14 lingers intellectually.
Prizes here are very generous for this weekly contest. With the winners circle building a grand list of active wc members. Whew-eee!
The well titled "Echoes of The Heart Poetry Contest" also accepts new or old poems. The latter a splendid idea. Especially, as these are most likely well edited & polished. Most writers write great things as the years go zooming past, why must we wait to enter things or always "create something" new? Hmm.
Well, certainly hope ===>> EVERYBODY gives this one an immediate LOOK SEE!!!
Good luck to all contestants.
ATTENTION POETS!!! This one's for you. DEADLINE FEB 28.
Earl, enjoy these sumbmissions. You're tip top in the poetry line, my friend, when you're not creating groups as huge and active as Frontliners, of course. Or site beckoning blog challenges. We owe you much for offering fun in the sun all year 'round.
Imagine if you will, a father, Christmas, a fam, things to put together ... then in this hilarious poem ... find Bill Wilcox tie-ing all into a marvey blend of holiday atmosphere while following the TWELVE DAY rhyming theme.
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