Hi Slytha, I'm reviewing your Haikus of a Flightless Mammal. Just a reminder, a review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The format of WCD requires us to title all poems. If you have to title haiku, you certainly came up with an intriguing one. Loved it and even if they weren't titled, their appearance on the page would pull me in.
Form: Haiku, an observation in the moment in 17 syllables or less.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece.
What I liked: I love the form and you used it well. The concept behind the content was fascinating. Loved this phrase "our feathered compatriots".
What I didn't like: This just picky and my thought wen reading this line sounds awkward to me "we found wings we could fly on"
Hi Purple Princess, I'm reviewing your Hypertension. Just a reminder, a review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title didn't lure me but the shape of the poem did.
Form: A 14 line narrative and therefore not a sonnet. Written in rhymed or near rhymed couplets with lines of variable line lengths centered on the page.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I noticed no concerns.
What I liked: The content, not the same old, same old. It raises awareness of a deadly condition that so many of us have no clue we have.
What I didn't like: Nothing
Overall: This is an easy to read poem with an important message.
Hi Grayhawk, I'm reviewing your Walk on Bye. Just a reminder, a review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
Form: Free Verse, a 15 line poem and taking on the Persona of a homeless person. The power of Free Verse is in the line break, allowing the poet to make words important by their position in the line. It doesn't appear to me you used the form to its full advantage.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. typo-double comma L3, L14 "tonight".
What I liked: That your poem attempts to address the social issue of homelessness.
What I didn't like: Your choice of line break or lack thereof.
Overall: I liked the message of this poem but felt the delivery was sloppy.
Hi Xee, I'm reviewing your Tears of Solitude. I'm sure you already know, a review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title is lovely and sad. The teaser intrigued me.
Form: Three quatrains with uniform line length, rhyme abab ccdd efef.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I found the archaic language distracting "thee" ov'r if't and nev'r Since the syllable count was variable there was no point in trying to cut syllables and after stumbling I pronounce the words in full anyway.
What I liked: "wink the snakes, spray the light to dark" Very interesting imagery. "So allow the soul to ignite__Word of advice." Good advise.
What I didn't like: The archaic language and condensed words.
Overall: I thought this poem had some confusing moments but I applaud the concept.
Hi Antonia. I'm reviewing your Where I Left My Peace. As I'm sure you know, a review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title was intriguing.
Form: A 19 line poem broken into 2 stophes with random rhyme and L1 is repeated as a refrain in L1 of the second strophe.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: I loved "You're a child beneath the canopy, amongst the ancient gentry." Oh yes I know that feeling so well. We are kindred spirits. I live in the coastal mountains of Northern California with the ocean to the west and a redwood forest in my back yard. I could relate to every line.
What I didn't like: That it is cold and dark right now and I can't go outside.
Hi Neva, I'm reviewing your I Never Saw Grandpa Wear Blue Jeans. Just a reminder, use what is helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: How can anyone resist a title like that?
Form: Free Verse in 17 lines. The frame compliments the content. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. No concerns here.
What I liked: This was a nostalgic look at a slice of life. I loved your grandpa from the first line.
What I didn't like: Nothing.
Overall: I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. I am glad I stumbled on it, it reminded me of my own grandfather. Thanks for the step back with love.
Hi dramatica, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your Heartache. Just a reminder, use what is helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title Heartbreak and that run on and on line I see on the page says to me "do I want to get involved?" What the heck, I got this far I'm curious where this is going.
Form: Free Verse in 18 lines. Lines of random length, one line super long. Random rhyme aabbbbxbxxxcxxxddc
What I liked: The release of emotion through writing. A healing event.
What I didn't like: This reads like a journal entry, a lot of emotion but no attention to the craft. The poem was full of angst.
Overall: This is a great healing poem but it isn't a poem for the public.
Hi Wrd Girl, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your Je ne suis. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: Ok I saw this title, then the poem on the page and it looked beautiful to me. No I don't speak or read French.
Form: Written in 4 quatrains with lines of variable length, random rhyme and L1 repeated as L1 of each quatrain in refrain. "I am neither tourist or client."
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. In French I have no clue what to look for.
What I liked: I don't read French but I can use a translator, it doesn't do the poetry of the original justice but I can hear the sounds and concept of the last stanza is inspiring.
I am neither a tourist nor a client
By leaving no footprints I'm
Forever changed; I Cross continents
With my breath--my words--I build.
What I didn't like: Nothing.
Overall: This is a beautiful poem, well worth the effort to cross the barrier of language.
Hi Marqese, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your Sons of Beelzebub. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title, the appearance of the poem on the page looks thick. This could scare some off from reading. Just an observation.
Form: Free Verse, a poem in 21 random length lines. Some lines are very long giving the poem an ominous feel.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no concerns. Well this line
"The principle forces that you wield binds are hands creating elasticity" Did you mean "binds, are hands" or did you mean "binds our hands"?
What I liked: The heaviness of this piece from its appearance to the density of lines and the intense word choices.
What I didn't like: Nothing
Overall: This is not a poem for the faint of heart. It beats you down and raises you up.
Hi Mr Y, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your "The Search". A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I have to wonder was this typed from an iPhone or iPad? The bullets before each line appear like a list and the space between each line makes the poem seem disconnected. The Search is a pretty generic title that might not bring a lot of readers in to read.
Form: Free Verse written in an octastich. I'm making an assumption but I ran across bullets with spacing with someone else and he didn't know how to correct it. I helped. Is this how you wanted this to appear? If so you are welcome to copy and paste in an edit to your static item.
The Knights set off into the night
To find Freedom
To find hope
To find the king who will restore life to the land
And stop the plague that brings death
To bring the traitor to the blood to justice
They will look day by day for the light in this dark land
So the nightmare can end.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: That you attempted to step into this fantasy world.
What I didn't like: L6 makes no sense to me. Knight off to war to conquer an evil is nothing new in the fantasy world. What can you contribute to offer something new, surprising. Surprise is at the core of fantasy.
Overall: I believe this poem has a lot of work still to be done, but it has a good beginning.
Hi Sonja, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your "Eyes" . A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title is pretty generic. I don't know if I would have chosen to read bases on your title, I chose because you came up at the top of Fan Fiction genre and I was curious. I'm not sure what Fan Fiction is.
Form: Free Verse, a poem in 17 lines. After reading this I wonder if you made most of one of the most important features of Free Verse, the line break. The line break allows the poet to emphasize or give importance to specific words. Your poem as is seems to make "are with your eyes: look almost like an after thought. Such as:
"The most important conversation you'll have
are with your eyes"
or something like this:
The most
important conversation
you'll have
are with your eyes
Just something to think about.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: The last strophe. It touched me.
What I didn't like: I had to read this a few of times to follow who's eyes when. It got a little confusing going back and forth. It sorted out but it took a little work on the reader's part.
Overall: I liked this poem after I sorted out who's eyes were talking. It was a clever concept and stepped outside of the same old, same old. I Still don't know what Fan Fiction is though. I'll have to google it.
Hi Jay. I'm reviewing your The Nocturne of Waiting . As you know, a review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I love the Title. It sounds like a symphony.
Form: 3, primarily 5 stressed lined quatrains with alternating rhyme. The rhythm is fluid, the sound low and contemplative.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. A missing comma L11 My dear, my deer
What I liked: The sincerity of the piece.
What I didn't like: Here is where I get picky and I remind you feel free to ignore. The use of archaic language sounds affected to me. L1 When my eyes linger from sleep. And if you need another stress When my weary eyes linger from sleep. The next line has too many stresses so it could simply begin. My thoughts . . . Just because it is a poem we shouldn't start writing differently than we speak normally.
Overall: I actually love this poem, I get picky when I can see the potential. This is beautiful but I think with attention to syntax and rhythm I can be be even more beautiful.
Hi Surfnrg, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your Silver. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title seemed simple and alluring. The poem light on the page.
Form: Free Verse with very short lines, using line breaks well to give importance to words. A poem in 32 lines. The frame compliments the content.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: The fluid imagery that languidly evolves with time.
What I didn't like: Nothing.
Overall: This is a beautifully sensual poem. I enjoyed this read.
Hi Damien, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your Bobo the Clown. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I was attracted to your poem because of the title. I was ready for some fun.
Form: 3 quatrains with long, fairly uniform lines followed by a single line, rhyme xaxa xbxb xcxc x. X being unrhymed. The frame compliments the content.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I think you need a couple of commas. L 7 playing with kids, squirting kids. L9 I believe it needs a comma after fun out, the smile . . . L12 seems to be missing a word " I stand in the ?, then I get a call.
What I liked: it is a human portrayal of a clown, shows the man behind the paint.
What I didn't like: This is where I get picky. Let me remind you, you are free to ignore. The number of very simple errors suggests to me a lack of interest. It just seems sloppy writing.
Overall: I think this poem needs some attention but it is worth the work.
Hi Mary Ann, I'm reviewing your Persona. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I remember the assignment but don't remember this poem, I think you should title it other than by the assignment. I love that the assignment inspired this interesting character.
Form: Free Verse with random rhyme. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. L7 eddit should be edit. L10 declaired should be declared L15 ciol should be coil and electonic is electronic. I think these are more typos than misspelling.
What I liked: I enjoyed reading about this lady and I thought this was humorous. It was a fun read.
What I didn't like: Nothing.
Overall: I liked this poem. It was interesting and humorous.
Hi Crissy, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your One Blow. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title sparks interest and the poem appears easy to read on the page.
Form: Free Verse with line breaks well chosen to communicate and emphasize the thought. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: The last half of the poem. The imagery was condensed and clever.
What I didn't like: This is where I get picky and remind to feel free to ignore. In the first half of e poem some of the imagery gets a little wordy. "Rigidity of facial features". Sounds a affected and might be better "face rigid" Just an opinion.
Overall: I could feel the anger in this poem. That is what it is about, communicating an emotion.
Hi Jeff, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your Thief of Hearts. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title was intriguing and the fact that it is a Quatern really drew me to this poem. Don't see a lot of Quaterns.
Form: Quatern, 4, 8 syllable quatrains with a tumbling refrain. Rhyme scheme at discretion of the poet but the refrain must be Axxx xAxx xxAx xxxA.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation, or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. If this were mine, I'd take hard look at your punctuation. I thought it chopped the fluidity and L9 has no need of a comma at the end. Poetry uses punctuation only when it is absolutely necessary for clarity. Line breaks create an natural pause. Punctuation at the end of a line produces a prolonged pause which unless it is the end of a sentence or stand out phrase, should not not be punctuated.
What I liked: I love the tumbling refrain. I felt the poem was well crafted and utilized the verse form to compliment the content.
What I didn't like: I think I've already address the punctuation. The meter is a syllable off in many lines but that is just being picky and it is fine. Then there is the personal preferance that the beginning of a line should not have caps unless It begins a sentece or is a proper ame. Classic poetry does it all of the time but in today's modern poetry, caps are more strategically used.
Overall: I enjoyed reading this well crafted poem.
Hi Fairport, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your The Dark Cathedral. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I think the title says a lot without giving away the poem, intriguing. The poem looks crafted on the page. The appearance says a poem worth reading.
Form: Written in iambic tetrameter quatrains with alternating rhyme. The form compliments the content.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece.
What I liked: Spine chilling imagery, a very well crafted poem with well chosen words.
What I didn't like: As it progressed it was pretty much what I expected to be included in a dark poem. I was hoping for a surprise to take it over the top from a very good poem to great poetry. Easier said than done. But isn't that what we all strive for?
Overall: I enjoyed reading this poem. I felt the creepy.
Hi Neva, I'm reviewing your Repubic of Belarus. As you know, a review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: Pretty self evident, a piece about the republic of Belarus. I know very little about the country and your essay is a reasonable length so I thought to read and review. I need to expand my horizons from poetry. It appears on the page like a Wikipedia article.
Form: An essay, a genre I know little about but am willing to learn. Noted each unit has a title and the main points of the republic seem to be addressed. Your essay appears well thought out and organized.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw not concerns.
What I liked: I thought this was well crafted and quite interesting.
What I didn't like: Here is where I get picky and remind you to feel free to ignore. This was mostly all facts with little opinion. Only mentioning your admiration for the beauty of Belarus through reference to photos in a book, did I connect the writer with the essay. I would have liked to hear at the end a sort of summary of how this research effected you, what did you personally think about the country? You are a knowledgeable poet and yet you never mentioned the literature of the country. It is through a country's literature that history and culture is recorded. A poetic point of information, Maksim Bahdanovic's Romance Stanza is emulated in English even today.
Overall: This was a very informative essay, inspiring me to read more about the genre itself. I have so much to learn.
Hi Genevieve, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your Silenced Symphony. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: Interesting title and a very short poem... The pattern of single line with space except for one couplet appeared a little scattered but it was short enough that I was willing to read.
Form: Free Verse in 9 lines spaced out upon the page. If it were mine, I would at least tighten up some of the lines, taking away the spacing between L1-L2-L3 space L4-L5 space L6-L7 space L8-L9. It would be an easier read and the rhythm would flow more fluidly.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. L4 "braze" did you mean "breeze" ?
What I liked: L7 "As I am the composure to my own closure" Great sonics and thought. My suggestion would be
What I didn't like: The thought process gives a cohesive message but the scattered lines give this piece a scattered feeling.
Overall: I liked the concept of this poem but found the delivery a little distracting.
Hi Adriane, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your Hometown. A review is seeing your writing through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem useful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title though fairly generic when paired with the teaser sounded interesting. The poem looked like a quick read and the 5 stars told me someone thought this poem was very, very good. I'm in.
Form: 3 nonmetric tercets with rhyme xab xab xab. I thought the frame interesting and I thought it complimented the content.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: The first line says it all. You immediately set the tone of the poem.
What I didn't like: Well I wouldn't say I didn't like it but, the last line seemed a little lack luster after some of the more powerful images in this small poem.
Overall, this is an impressive poem, easy to read and interesting.
HI Chris, This is Tinker and I am reviewing your Child to Teen. I'm sure you know, a review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, used what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I know your name from the Oriental Poetry Contest, so when this poem popped up for review I couldn't resist. The title is fairly generic but holds some interest.
Form: The stated form in "location" is Rondeau, an old French family of forms with some very popular members of the family like the Rondeau itself, the Villanelle and the Triolet. Your poem is not a Rondeau or any family member. It is closer to the frame of a Wyatt/Surrey Sonnet. A 14 line lyrical poem, iambic pentameter, rhyme abba abba cddc ee. Your poem is 14 lines with rhyme abba abba cdcd ee. But it fails the sonnet test because it is a narrative rather than lyrical and the meter is random. No judgement, just an observation.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the poem. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: I could relate. I had one of those. Well the one and only time he laid down on the floor and kicked and screamed he was 2 years old and quickly got over it when he realized he had lost his audience. Oh well he grew up to be a fine man, now dealing with his own teens. (what goes around comes around).
What I didn't like: You can see I have a pattern to my review. It is here where I get picky. I didn't like the rhythm. I'm not saying this poem should be iambic pentameter. But a poem is to be read out loud, listen to the beat, the rhythm of your words. It doesn't flow.
Overall: This is the poem of a frustrated parent. Teens can do that to you. There is a large audience that can relate.
Hi Leif, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your Devils Dead short story. A review is simply seeing your story through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I normally review poetry, short and sweet. I took one look at your page and thought, Hell no! Not my genre and definitely too, too long. (I'm on a mission to get my numbers up on reviews.) But something pulled me in. It was long but not dense, the spacing allowed for easier reading than long unbroken paragraphs. I guess I felt challenged so here I am.
Form: Short Story, I have no expertise in this field and have reviewed only a couple both considerably shorter than this. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless they disrupt the flow. I saw no problems here.
What I liked: This was a compelling story with complex characters. I was actually surprised at how forgiving and compassionate Scipio was, he had no reason to be. Sadly, Meeks was a man of his time and position in life. Could he have been a better man, of course. Could he have been worse, absolutely. The mother, I believe was kind of typical of aristocratic women of the pre war south. They cared for their household using slaves as servants but many formed loving relations with those slaves who raised their children or cared for them in their old age. It was illegal to teach slaves how to read and write however Scipio is not the only slave who learned and often is was because of women like the mother in this story.
What I didn't like: Sometimes, especially early on, I had to back track to remind myself who or where the story was taking me. I was completely thrown by the signing of the contract by a baby. I had to go back and figure out who the baby was.
Overall: This is a worthy, interesting and emotional story, well told. It was worth the time it took to read and review. Thank you.
Hi Sorji, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your Ode to a Teddy Bear's Purpose. A review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what is useful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title sucked me right in. The appearance of the poem on the page was neat and short, saying easy read, take a moment and enjoy.
Form: Free Verse, I think you could get more focus rethinking some of your line breaks. Each line does not have to be a complete thought unit, sometimes you can get more mileage by breaking the thought to give emphasis. For example your line
Thread, felt, shiny buttons and polyester fill.
That of which is comprised is not what it is.
Switched to something like:
Thread, shiny buttons, felt
and polyester fill,
that of which is comprised
is not what it is.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no disruption.
What I liked: The content. The poem is a sweet poem for children or adults.
What I didn't like: It is just a personal preference: Caps at the beginning of every line is common in classic poems but in today's Free Verse it sometimes breaks the rhythm.
Overall: I loved this sweet poem. Worth the moment of time it took to read.
Hi Cheri, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your Wonder to Behold. A review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what is helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title is a little generic but appropriate and doesn't give away your poem. But if I was looking to read a poem I'm unsure if this would pull me in.
Form: Free Verse using line breaks and strong end words to communicate your message well. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless they disrupt the piece. I saw no disruption
What I liked: This is an awesome tribute to the Eiffel Tower without ever mentioning it by name. Contest entry to avoid words was more than met and you earned the win. Without the contest, it is a lovely painting, actually raising a little patriotism in my chest even though I'm not French.
What I didn't like: This is just a personal preference, Caps at the beginning of every line are common in the classics. Today, especially in Free Verse, the caps can distract.
Overall: This is an emotion stirring portrait of a well known structure. Nicely crafted.
~~Tink 2-2-18
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What the heck, I got this far I'm curious where this is going.