When I read this poem I get the sense of exhaustion and vacantness as if the binding of the will be binding of any other emotion this person feels. The emptiness works for your words. It's like that stage you get just before you start cracking up at everything. That stage of stasis. Nothing stirs in the cesspool. Weeowl
This is okay. There are quite a few spelling errors and runon sentences. It didn't fit with the description you put up there. Is the story finished? Did you not have time to finish? I look forward to reading the finished product after edits and such. Keep up the good work. Weeowl
You have a good thing going here. I enjoy the concept and definitely understand that voice. You can do some expanding here as it doesn't feel finished to me. Expand on the voice, expand on how the voice makes you feel (aside from not lonely) are you afraid of the voice? Is it comforting? Just some things to think about. Good job! Weeowl
I am awestruck by this poem. You bring that feeling of shock, that almost suffocating feeling so well in your delicate words. I felt the anguish and I wanted to just scream to the heavens "Why did you take him away!" I identify with this poem as I've lost a soulmate to death. The pain doesn't go so silently into that good night. Thank you for sharing! Keep writing! Weeowl
This is a great question. You get to find out what people who come here really like. I've really enjoyed myself the last few days with reviewing the polls and reading such spectacular work so rating and reviewing is also my favorite thing to do here. I like to encourage others and tell them that they are doing a great job. Weeowl
Although I can write anytime, I do best when it's late evening through early morning. At night, I'm alone in my own world that I create without the interferance of phones ringing or people asking me to run errands or whatever other distractions we face during the day. While the world sleeps, I'm awake writing the next thing that will bring great inspiration :D hehehe. Great question. Weeowl
This is a good question to see what the age is on writing.com. I am 32 years old as of Monday October 1. When I was about to turn 30, at first I was stressing out, thinking of all I didn't do. Then, I decided, why focus on what I didn't do so I changed my list to all the things I did do by the time I was thirty. Talk about satisfying! I'm glad 31 is over, it was a challenging year. This year started kinda rocky as I woke up covered head to toe in hives. But I did finish the second draft of my novel! :D Thanks for letting me talk about age :) Weeowl
Hi cubby! This is a great question. I didn't see my reason up there. I also am a part of writing.com so that I can be inspired and touched by other people's writing. I have a few poems up and I will soon add more, but sometimes you can find answers to burning questions through the words of others. This is why I read and review so many works here. I am finished with my second draft of my novel and my editor is reading it! I will be published and will still be here to read others and add more. I'm currently working on two projects and I will post some of the work from one of the projects up here for review. The second project is my 2nd in a series novel. So I'll keep that one until my editor reads it. I enjoy getting feedback on my work to. Sorry this is long, I missed snack time! LOL Weeowl
This was really good because it opened my eyes to a new personality test. I learned something about myself! And I'm actually ENFJ. I enjoyed answering the questions so thank you for bringing it to my attention! And you're right it was on target! Which one are you? weeowl
Perfect question for this time of year. I think all could be valid so I actually had to think and like there was smoke coming from my ears and it was just a mess after I was hosed down. I am stuck though on my answer to ward off evil spirits. What better way than to provide light in fruit with eyes, nose, mouth? :D I enjoy this decoration! Now, this year we painted pumpkins so I wonder if evil spirits will lurk at my parent's house. Thanks for asking this poll. It was fun! Weeowl
wow. this poem which I read with an open mind delivered me to a place I never want to be, yet many are. I'm having a very physical reaction as your sharp words strike me. This means that you are a great writer. When a reader feels the pain you present, you know you've touched their life..as you intended. You've touched my life. Thank you. Weeowl
Wow! What a way to come forth on writing.com. You come with honesty, love, and truth. You present yourself well and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Some of my favorite lines: Stanza 8 Words of gold to ease life's pain, and wet the thirsty tongue...I enjoy all of this stanza, but those first two lines struck me as I hunger and thirst for something inspiring...something striking that sends me into a moment away from my own. Welcome, my friend, to writing.com! May you lay your gold upon our feet so that we may have a solid place to walk. Weeowl
This is clever. You've taken nursery rhymes we all recognize and made it your own. You've expressed the truth of each of these nursery rhymes and drove that home. It's dark, but at the same time satisfying that someone finally wrote the truth. Great job! I laughed and I was also "ACK!" but regardless, your point was made. Weeowl
again this is a great poem. You're truly talented. You promise the bad memories will go away...or not effect me as much? That was the sense I got. I just read it again and I feel that sense of comfort at the end...it's like the heart was holding all this in and then apologizes for releasing it all at once..but it had to release the burdens of the past. If I'm wrong, let me know, but either way I feel a sense of peace and hope at the end. Thanks for writing it! weeowl
I think this is good. It may need a little tweaking like taking out the No. but still sticking with the not to fly. not to fly. I like how you described her. I could see her. I could feel her emotions of emptiness and thinking this was the only way...the voices were great! The dualing between those on the ground telling her not to do it versus the voices in her head. It's very powerful...I just think perhaps working on the ending to really carry that punch through. Thanks for sharing! Weeowl
Wow this was a dark story :P not what I expected from the title or the description. Although you didn't specifically say that it was blood, I still got the jest of it and was like BLAH! But I couldn't stop reading it. That means that you are a darn good writer. Keep up the freaky good work and happy halloween! Weeowl
This is a wonderful poem! I liked "mangled emotions" and "dilapitated house" those were poignant descriptions that not only helped me see what you were talking about but also feel it. I felt myself being torn down because I know the emotional pain you speak of I mean we have different stories, but the pain...I'm very familiar with the pain. That's how good your writing is...I IDENTIFIED with it. You've done a great job here. Thank you for posting such a powerful piece of writing. I look forward to reading some more of your work. Sincerely, Weeowl
This is a gripping poem. as I was reading this I thought of the sea. The rhythm is a wave...a tide coming forward and backing up. If writing is the only thing keeping you here, keep doing it. The sea can be harsh, so step on the land and take a breather. Weeowl
Woohoo! You got me all excited about the passion of capturing such a "breath-taking" (get it?) scene on the canvas! Passion...that's what art is all about...both writing and painting. Bestill my heart! You're doing excellant! I look forward to reading more of your work! Weeowl
Oh I love this and welcome back to writing. Your muse awaits your pen or your computer to make contact with the paper or empty screen. Taking that leap of writing the first word always brings about the questions you asked here. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of you! Weeowl
Wow this is compelling! I found myself relating to this question and I was hoping for an answer, but I guess it's one of those unanswerables. I definitely believe that death is a release of pain. At least I hope it is. In our spirit form, free of our human shells, pain is secondary to healing. Great job! And the mention of the white stallion is interesting since one has been coming in my dreams the last few days. I think my Grandpa's getting ready to go home. :( He's fully aware of it and has been putting his affairs in order. Great job on the poem. Weeowl
You have a good thing going here. I was immediately interested in what was going on. I don't know if this chapter is complete or not, I do want more. The premise is good and it's what readers want to read. The reason I read is to escape. You took me to a different world and time. Describe the land a little more. Are they in a forest, in the mountains, in a valley? Description is key. I felt the silence and the tension. You can build upon that. The main thing that I have to say is to keep writing this. I enjoyed it and I look forward to more. Although it is short, it's never too short to be reviewed and rated. Have a fabulous writing day! weeowl
This is really good. At 31, I look upon my school days and still frown as I was mistreated. I was a straight-laced type of gal...the nerdy one who always got good grades. I'm proud of my studiousness, but looking back, I guess I wished I had a little more fun. But perhaps my life wouldn't be what it is today. I did learn a lot and did enjoy school...irregardless of the people who harmed me. I met some amazing people, including outstanding teachers who made a difference in my life. I remember this one teacher Ms. Arzamendi...she gave me advice that I still use today (she was my 4th grade teacher) which was to ALWAYS ASK QUESTIONS. ;D Thanks Ms. A! As you can see, your poem invokes memories of an experience we share, but is still unique. My teachers would be proud of me today! :D Way to write this poem. I like it! Weeowl
I enjoyed this poem. I read it twice so that I could grasp the delicacy of your specifically chosen words. Your writing amazes me and inspires me. I thoroughly enjoyed the last stanza of this poem. I also read your "You'll Always Be My Friend," and this has continued to stay with me. I feel this poem will also do the same. I am seeking the treasure of life and so I go to the beginning. Keep writing! Weeowl
This is a good, simple to answer survey. I enjoyed taking it. To me, poetry is awesome. I enjoy saying something so profound in such little words. Check out some of my poetry. Teardrift is one of my favorites. weeowl
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