A rhyming poem of broken love. Abandonement and frustration left to fester. This is a sad piece, well written getting the emotions down without question as to what is being said. A few editing comments to follow, no harm intended:
2nd verse-typo (frustration)
6th verse needs some editing. Typo -(caught). Then capitalize "I".
An intense short story full of definitive description and imagination. The action packed terror is felt in every word. The strength of the main character is shown through action and reflection.
A great piece. Thank you for sharing this with us. It gives insight into taking control of the situation around you rather than letting others do so for you.
A great beginning it was looks to be a promising novel. We have a good introduction into the main character and his project. One small comment on this piece to follow, no harm intended:
-within the first paragraph unassuming is used twice. Here are a few words to replace one of them : diffident, plain, self-effacing, unambitious, unobtrusive, unostentatious.
Words cannot express the emotions that transpire through events like this. The tragedy and loss are immense and sometimes the sorrow feels insurmountable. I thank you for sharing this beautifully written piece. Your free-style poem is beautiful and a wonderful tribute to someone so loved.
-When he heard talk of replacement Ramsey became determined to show just what he was capable of trained his crew non-stop for weeks before the examination team came aboard. (needs a comma after -capable of-)
- A nuclear weapon hasn’t (had not been )
An action packed piece. Grabs the reader's attention right from the start.
The friendship takes on a whole new meaning. Fear penetrates this piece. The fear of losing the friend. The fear of the unknown. The secret that couldn't be kept will either make or break the relationship. The concern felt is genuine and unanswered.
An excellent contest,
I will give it a try
Not asking any questions,
Not here to say why
Learning center,
Teaching within
Layout looks great
Let the contest begin
So here we go
Submitting it now
Hoping it fits
And makes it somehow
But if it fails
To make the cut
Please let me know
And help me out of this rut!
A wonderful work of art displayed here. Transcending time, this piece speaks for many. I am here, I am breathing, but who am I. No matter how long ago it is written, it remains true today. The ever experience of discovering who we are.
Thank you kind poet for sharing this great piece.
A wonderful idea, posting this invite here where it is sure to be noticed by those most willing to participate. A great introduction to a venue of using the review format for helping the entertainment industry stay alive. Thank you for sharing this here with us. I am sure you will receive much feedback from many members.
How true this piece is. This fits in to most work jobs I can think of. Management on down should read the likes of this before beginning the day. Keeping in mind the moral of the poem, and the decision and power given to each. A creative piece filled with sage knowledge and a wonderful message for all. Thank you
A wonderful way for members to meet each other, and benefit from the introduction as well. A creative format designed with the best intentions for all. My thanks to you for coming up with this clever program. This is a gift to us all you have given. Thank you for doing so.
Overall a good piece of poetry. I have a hard time with the first line. It starts out strong as a statement, "Weeping willlows have one fear" but that statement is never expanded upon. It goes on to tell of the sadness and music. One suggestion for changing the first line would be "Weeping willows shed many a tear", this then ties in with the ending line of the poem creating a conclusion with a full circle.
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