~~The poem begins with rhyming couplets, then changes to every other rhyme. For being a short piece, I found this confusing. If written in a different layout, I feel this could work.
~~As the darkness
Closes in
The places where
I have been
Become different,
Strange,
Did they,
Really change?
By changing just this much of the rhythm, you have a fluid piece where the rhyming format is true throughout.
Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
This is the first few chapters of a greatly anticipated novel. A few comments below, no harm intended:
~~and the thought of what came next horrified him.(and the thought of what was to come next horrified him.)
~~His hand shot up her underneath her blouse causing her to sigh, as she bit down on his ear.
~~The professor inquires into the significance of the year 2007, the answer is replied using 2008.
~~he nodded and exit exited the vehicle
~~ A man glared at the those in his group and they immediately knelt and assumed a prayerful posture;"A man from the group glared at the others, and they immediately knelt and assumed a prayerful posture" ~~-WhoWhose family didn't?
~~He scrolled back thought through the code, inspecting it for errors, tweaking it here and there. almost as ifit were in a foreign language.
I am left awaiting the rest of this fabulous novel.
Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
~~ An interesting response to a 24 hour prompt contest. I appreciated the fact that you listed a link to the prompt contest, as well as an explanation for the piece. It adds insight into the work, as well as promotes another's piece here on site. For that I thank you. It gave me extra information as to help in my review of the subject.
~~One comment for the content. If the main character is so drunk he is seeing the twin waitress and not knowing what he is drinking, wouldn't his speech be more slurred?
~~The humorous twist at the end is what got the laugh for me, as well as the understanding of the main character.
Thank you for the laughs!
Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
~~Rhythmic and rhyming, this quaint little tale, had me laughing and crying at all it did entail.
~~Creatively imagined. Professionally written. This fun story holds the attention of the reader with not only the choice of wording, but the rhythm as which it is read.
This is a great piece of artwork.
Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
Hello Ann Ticipation ~~A beautiful rhyming love poem. Full of rhythmical flow and ease of read.
~~The love that pours forth through each verse transcends time with the participants of the poem.
~~I feel this a special piece, dedicated to the one you love. Written in love for the one you love.
I especially like how this piece starts out talking of the dream to be together, then the reality of the dream taking shape. Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills
Hello Pogacsas
This is an interesting space sci-fi you have created. In this first chapter you bring us up to date on the history and background of all creatures involved.
You set the scene with prescision and style, keeping it simple to follow for those of us without the imagination to create these creatures and foreign weapons, instruments and universe.
One editing comment noted below, no harm intended:
-seemed designdesigned for aggresssion,
Thank you for sharine your creative writing skils.
What a wonderful idea. The information contained here in is a tool of value for all here involved in the site. The additional links provided add extra information making this detailed enough for the newest of members and those unfamiliar with the internet to use.
Thank you for sharing this information, and suggestions.
Hello Pass it on
This is a wonderful group you have set up. A group that gives back to the community. The creativity and time you have put into this is of great magnitude. Your generosity is appreciated. Thank you for helping to support the many groups out here.
Hello RadioShea
This is a cute rhythmical rhyming poem. The content reading like a fable of old. The meter for the most part was in sync, although there were a few rough places.
The author paints a vivid canvas for the reader. The poem was easy to follow, and humorous to read.
Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills.
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This is a reciprocal review on behalf of writetight, whom you were kind enough to have come by and reviewed recently, and is in connection with"Invalid Item" .
A weeks worth of journal entries and then they stop. Sometimes up and sometimes down from the goal stated. This reminds me so much of myself. As stated in the last entry, it seems life tends to put up obstacles in front of our goals. Little things to slow the process. The longest I ever lasted is 2 weeks. But that is my story.
Here we have a definite goal plan to achieve what the author deems necessary. A personal log of progress.
Thank you for sharing such a personal piece.
This is a reciprocal review on behalf of writetight, whom you were so kind as to have reviewed recently, and is in connection with "Invalid Item"
A contest entry, how did it place? This is an interesting piece you have hear. I view this as a therapeutic piece. A short letter on looking back on life and what you could change if possible.
- due to being a contest piece, an included side note as to what the contest was would have been helpful.
Not knowing the specifics on the contest, one could only ask, would this piece benefit with more information on things of relevance other than personal relationships and moving, or are those the main purpose of the writing.?
A good entry as it stands. I hope it placed well in the contest. Thank you for sharing your creativity.
This is a reciprocal review on behalf of writetight, whom you were so kind as to have reviewed recently, and is in connection with "Invalid Item"
"What Works For Me", is a wonderful instrument for helping others with their dietary plans. It is instructive in both dietary and exercising.
I did find the lack of vegetables eaten, under the foods you could eat, somewhat limiting. Are these the only veggies, or just the ones you like and work for you?
~~ I did appreciate the fact that this was an informative piece as to what helps you. Not only did you include the price for the club you were currently liked to , but you also included a goal and as to why.
Thank you for sharing this personal, informative piece.
A humoristic satirical piece. Full of venom and greed rhyming with great ease as the rhythem flows down the page. The look at todays quick buck system. Earn not, but look to see who has and how you can get it. Abuse of power, and life. Thank you for sharing this creative poem .
A great place to help, support, sponser , and mentor each other. Thank you for all that you do.Listing members helps reviewers to be able to acknowledge those who support this wonderful group and all that it does. Thank you for your hard work and dedication, each and every one of you.
I am new to this site, and currently working on a membership for when mine is up in October. I have started a raffle that donates 1/2 of the proceeds,after the contest, to a charity. The charity is picked by the ticket holders. For each ticket bought, the charity is named, and gets that many votes. The winner for Aug 6th
Was . I have already sent the gift points, (85,256 to your group). I thought an explanation might be necessary. The points didn't come from me, they came from RAOK supporters who purchased tickets.
The feeling of belonging to something much larger than you can imagine. The picture of life. The acceptance for you and what you are without any preconceptions. I feel this could be a metaphoric piece on religion of one form or another perhaps.
A very good write. One small editorial comment, no harm intended:
-boundmy by my word,
Thank you for sharing.
"Invalid Item"
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Creative complexity you have put together in this great free-style piece. This thought provoking poem leads the reader to analyze the thoughts of the author.
The statements made by this work of art(as this reader sees it) - Don't put me on a shelf, I am human just as you
-I want you to know and understand my true feelings that words alone can not express.
-Am I helping you or hindering you?
A creative poem. Thanks for sharing.
"Invalid Item"
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Choices made, changing lives everyday, in every moment. The building romance between the two main characters gives hope to this short story. The ending leaves you wondering, what of life, what choices were made, and what happened in the end?
I think this is a stronger short story because of the way it ends. A thought provoking piece. Thank you for sharin.g
Quick and witty ,
short but sweet.
This poetic piece has flow without rhyme,
creating a free- style piece , transcending time.
This great piece of game,
screams lottery in name.
Win , lose, or draw,
It is neither short nor long straw.
One fate of the game
The world learns your name.
A wonderful poetic piece.
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A cute little short story full of character and charisma. The animals all friendly enough, almost a little too trustworthy. One small editing comment, no harm intended:
-Flamingo specialises (specializes)
I would add a piece in here letting the pot be cooled and cleaned before Berry decides to again take refuge in it. The kettle would be to warm for him to want to enter.
Thank you for sharing this creative piece.
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An eloquently written piece. Capturing a time period through description of surrounding and environment, this author has very vividly captured the spirit of character as well. Davy and his conflicting emotions.
I especially like the part where Davy takes into consideration , if he leaves, the thoughts, feelings, and actions of those that would be left behind.
This is a story of life and its many entanglements caused by human emotions. This wonderful piece portrays a family of four and the inner workings of the feelings between them all.
Jonathan appears week in spirit throughout this piece until the end. He is determined to open the milk himself. Great character build up.
No editing for this piece, it is finished and complete, ready for publication.
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The author paints a vivid canvas for the reader. The poem was easy to follow, and humorous to read.
- due to being a contest piece, an included side note as to what the contest was would have been helpful.